Day-Care Worker Pins Kids to Mattresses as Discipline Control

Are you kidding - Swaddling is actually a comfort method used all over the world from hospitals to group homes. I work in a group home and the is no need to pin a child to a bed.. Swaddling shouldnt be used as a punishment and if you use it as such maybe someone should teach you proper de-escalation tool ... The swaddwling actually simulates a hug which many children in crisis find soothing.. The encloser helps them calm down... Its so sad that there are people who think this is ok .... I cant imagine treating any child like this.. Guess i am just a loving careing mother with a good head on her shoulders

SKL,I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOUR ANSWER, IF THESE KIDS WERE PINED DOWN AND THE PLACE CAUGHT ON FIRE, HOW MANY OF THOSE KIDS WOULD DIE, BECAUSE THE B___

Dang SKL, the "worst thing someone has done to a child this week"? And you're a mother?? That's downright scary!! With your attitude, if I personally knew you, I'd probably be having you investigated by CPS! Children are a GIFT from God. When I see attitudes like yours, I feel so sad for those who long for children but can't have them. Then there you are with I'm guessing 2 yr old twins since your post says your "2 year oldS. I have 8 children, 6 are grown, and I am raising my 19 month old grandson. My children and my 6 grandchildren are the lights of my life. I STRONGLY suggest that if you have such difficulty getting your children to nap and you've considered the pinning even slightly humane, that you get yourself some counseling and/or Parenting classes ASAP before you hurt those children!! My heart goes out to your babies and to all children who were pinned down by 'Arvilla Dearest'!!

I'm not saying this is appropriate or even legal, but if used occasionally to discipline, I don't see how it's torture, which is how people here are making it sound. (I guess you "could" use pinned clothes to torture, but I don't see evidence that it went that far.)

I mean, when you take your toddler on a long drive, he probably has to sleep while belted snugly into his seat with no ability to get out. If that is not torture, how is it torture to restrain the same child for the same amount of time in a bed?

Note that this child went to this provider for 3 years and the parent apparently never had a clue that something was amiss. So how bad could it have been?

Wow... I'm flabberghasted. I thought your first comment was a little odd... But then I saw the next one. Let me tell you how pinning a child's clothes to a bed, could be seen as torture. Maybe it doesn't seem that way to you, but if you were a small child, defensless, and scared, do you think it would be "fun" to be safety pinned to a bed? I don't. And as for you comparing a car seat to being pinned down, a car seat, is for a childs SAFETY! So they don't DIE in the horror of a car accident. Pinning a child down to a bed, is 1) Child abuse, 2) Child neglect, and 3) Inhumane. This girl probably didn't tell her mother sooner, because she was scared of the psycho woman! The punishment was the pinning, so what was she supposed to expect for tattling on the lady!? If I found out anyone had in ANY way tried to RESTRAIN my child, "Fit would hit the Shan". I love my babies, and this story makes me sick.

Woman, you are freaking nuts!!!! How could you possibly swaddle a 2 year old? I have 4 children, all have at one point been 2 years old. There is no way that would work - unless you pinned or tied the blanket - what kind of mother are you?

Wow, I am with everyone else. I was about to comment on SKL's first response, then I saw the second response. You're comparing this to a SEATBELT!? Are you in a mental institution or writing from the comfort of your home? People like you exist? Well, I knew people like you existed or the world would be a better place..but usually people like you don't vocalize your insane thoughts openly online. Your children should be taken from you. You're a disgrace.

Speaking of residents of the psycho ward . . . the reaction to this "horror" is simply over the top. Putting a safety pin through cloth is not torture (unless the cloth is very tight around the child). No, Krissy22, it is not "fun," nor was it intended to be. Neither are most forms of discipline used in daycare centers every day.

And yes, to a 2-year-old, this is just like a car seat belt. Exactly, which is why so many kids scream in protest when being restrained in the car. Maybe they are all going to be scarred for life, I don't know. What about cribs? Aren't they inhumane to children who can't get out of them? And high chairs, and strollers, and changing pads with straps, and pretty damn near anything you put a child in up to the age of 2 or 3? Don't even get me started on potty seats. Next thing you know they will be outlawed.

Gimme a break.

And yeah, I have swaddled my 2-year-olds (with sheets) to let them know I mean business about being in bed at naptime. I only had to do it a couple times, and I removed the sheets within about 10 minutes. It's called discipline. If a restraint were used constantly, for long periods, and/or was a part of an overall pattern of being overbearing and scary, that would be a different story. This daycare worker may or may have gone to these extremes, but the mere pinning of cloth to cloth as an occasional discipline method is simply not torture.

Funny, when I hear of my kid having a consequence for not listening at day care, I am most concerned about her learning to listen - not trying to find fault with the day care workers (especially not three years later). I guess I am the weird one. But hey, my kids aren't the ones terrorizing the day care or the neighborhood. Go figure.

SKL or whatever, has it ever occured to you that maybe your 2 year olds don't need a nap anymore? Maybe you're having to threaten to "swaddle", which you're using as "restrain" by the way, a child (or two or three or how ever many you have) that doesn't need a nap, and therefore are keeping them prisoner while you go get your latte and type comments on the computer. I have a 7 yr old a 5 yr old and a 16 month old (who, by the way, is only taking one nap a day at the babysitters house while I work my part time job to help support my family. and I also drop by occasionally and check on the babysitter, who is a close friend and only has my child to watch. No others besides her own 3 year old) You shouldn't have to restrain, I mean swaddle, a child to get them to take a nap. Kid doesn't want to lay down at nap time? Fine by me, stay awake. Or wake up earlier. or go to bed earlier. the possibilities are numerous.
If there was a fire, there is no way to get all those children unpinned in time to get out safely. Would you not be upset if it was one of YOUR children who didn't get out in time?
My middle child went to a daycare/montessori school that I attended 25 years ago when she was 3 while I was pregnant and sick in the hospital with my youngest. She recently told me that one of the teachers put soap in her mouth when she did something wrong. Are you going to tell me THAT's ok? I mean, it's not hot sauce. Maybe you can equate it to toothpaste.
I'm all for creative discipline. We make our older children hold a quarter on the wall with their nose instead of sit in time out. (forces them to be still and not fidget or play resulting in an actual punishment and not time to plan their next attack or each other.) But if you're able to equate pinning a child to a mattress to putting them in a seatbelt, by all means, maybe you should cut your seat belts out of your car. One is for safety. One is pure laziness.

Paige, thanks for the childrearing advice. My kids are 3 months apart in age and if one of them doesn't need a nap on a particular day, the other does. I am their mother, I should know, don'tcha think? They share a room and when they moved into toddler beds, they needed to stay quietly in their beds (sleeping or not) and not spend the time keeping each other awake while trashing the room. It would be more inhumane for me to allow one child to prevent the other from getting needed sleep on a regular basis. And unlike a paid childcare provider in a group setting, I don't believe someone should have to sit in my kids' bedroom for hours to monitor their naptime.

Which brings me to the logical extension of your argument - why aren't cribs illegal? I mean, it's obvious they restrain kids from doing what they want to do, and obviously parents who think their kids need a nap can't be believed. Nobody should be allowed to force their child to stay in a crib, because, if you were forced to stay in a giant crib, would that be fun? Why, that's inhumane. Let's ban all child restraints and enclosures of every kind.

It scares me to think what you do to your child. If you think that this is an ok way to treat somebody elses kids (much less your own) you really are in need of some help.

And you consider yourself a good mother, dumping your child in a daycare center all day long so you can dance off to your "full time job"? Rethink your strategy. You relinquish your credibility when you give someone else the responsibility of raising this "precious" child.

"ugottabekidding" or whatever your handle is....are you out of YOUR mind, too? There are plenty of legit daycare centers where it is perfectly acceptable to drop off children for both parents to be able to work! It is a personal decision. I dont know if you are aware, but the average cost of a child attending college in even a decade from now will near 1/2 million dollars. So if I want to give my child the opportunity to go to an Ivy League school as has every person in my family, or if I want to give him the opportunity to invest in real estate, pursue his dreams, it isn't cheap! So I think it is wonderful for mothers to be able to stay at home, but doing research and finding an excellent daycare center is perfectly acceptable. Dont be upset because your children are hags-

Are you kidding? She won't die of swine flu - didn't you read that prisoners were some of the first to get the vaccine?

Barbara, although I have raised 8 children (well, still raising 2 who are 11 and 16), and I raised them loving the dickens on them and still do, I so totally 100% agree with you!! I'm also raising my 18 mo old grandson. At first it was so my daughter (20) could work, but she is NEVER home now other than to sleep and spends no time with the baby. She and the baby's dad split up when it was discovered that the dad has a cancerous lump on his head beside his ear. Doesn't really matter as if they did get married, I'd still have the baby as he is irresponsible as my daughter has been. I didn't raise her that way, it happens I guess. I've also seen people around this neighborhood and talked to others online who may as well just come out and say it that their children are 'burdens'. Then WHY have the children at all? They should be a wanted blessing, and even if they are a 'surprise' blessing like my 11 yr old, they should be loved as much. My son is such a joy as is my grandson and my daughter is missing everything wonderful he is starting to do. A child should be a JOY. Too many people cannot have children. I weep for them when I see attitudes like SKL's and read stories like the one above. As another started to say, what IF there was a fire? I've had a house fire and you have LITTLE time to get out. Shame on those whose entire heart isn't with their precious children!! And Ms.Mommie Dearest in this article needs ALL the prayers people can muster up. God help her!!