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My Son Talks Obsessively About His Poop and Penis!
Filed under: Expert Advice: Toddlers & Preschoolers, Expert Advice: Big Kids
Dear AdviceMama:
My 5-year-old son seems to be obsessed with talking about poop and his penis. Is that normal? He tells me that a group of kids in school always joke about these things at recess. I'm a little worried.
Signed,
It's Soooo Not Funny!
Dear Soooo:
Kids, specially little boys, are absolutely fascinated by their equipment and the things that come out of their bodies. Frankly, I don't get it either, but for the most part, the behavior you're describing is normal and age-appropriate, so I wouldn't worry about it.
If your son is talking excessively about his bodily functions, it could be that he has questions that he is uncomfortable asking you directly. Make sure you're approachable, so your little boy feels he can ask you awkward questions without feeling embarrassed or ashamed.
However, if a child exhibits unusually provocative or sexual behavior that is beyond his developmental age, it is important to make sure no one has been behaving inappropriately with him. Conversations about good touch versus bad touch are perfectly appropriate to have with him at this age.
From what you're saying, your son's behavior seems quite innocent. When my son was around four or five years old, all he had to do was insert the word "poop" or "fart" into a sentence to make the other kids act like they'd just been told the funniest joke in the history of mankind. I know it can be irritating (and sometimes disgusting!), but the less negative fuss you make about your son's fixation on the mysteries of his body, the better. Try to keep your sense of humor, let him know it's okay to be curious, and just make sure he knows how to rein it in when it might be offensive to someone who isn't so familiar with some of the quirks that go along with being a five-year old boy.
And finally, there are some great books that you can read together to launch important discussions about children's bodies and sexuality. One in particular, Everyone Poops, was a favorite around our house. My editor at ParentDish is a fan of Girls Are Girls and Boys Are Boys: So What's The Difference?, which goes into more detail.
It's all part of the wild ride of raising a child!
Yours in parenting support,
AdviceMama
AdviceMama, Susan Stiffelman, is a licensed and practicing psychotherapist and marriage and family therapist. She holds a Bachelor of Arts in developmental psychology and a Master of Arts in clinical psychology. Her book, Parenting Without Power Struggles, is available on Amazon. Sign up to get Susan's free parenting newsletter.
Have a question for AdviceMama? Submit your question here.
My 5-year-old son seems to be obsessed with talking about poop and his penis. Is that normal? He tells me that a group of kids in school always joke about these things at recess. I'm a little worried.
Signed,
It's Soooo Not Funny!
Dear Soooo:
Kids, specially little boys, are absolutely fascinated by their equipment and the things that come out of their bodies. Frankly, I don't get it either, but for the most part, the behavior you're describing is normal and age-appropriate, so I wouldn't worry about it.
If your son is talking excessively about his bodily functions, it could be that he has questions that he is uncomfortable asking you directly. Make sure you're approachable, so your little boy feels he can ask you awkward questions without feeling embarrassed or ashamed.
However, if a child exhibits unusually provocative or sexual behavior that is beyond his developmental age, it is important to make sure no one has been behaving inappropriately with him. Conversations about good touch versus bad touch are perfectly appropriate to have with him at this age.
From what you're saying, your son's behavior seems quite innocent. When my son was around four or five years old, all he had to do was insert the word "poop" or "fart" into a sentence to make the other kids act like they'd just been told the funniest joke in the history of mankind. I know it can be irritating (and sometimes disgusting!), but the less negative fuss you make about your son's fixation on the mysteries of his body, the better. Try to keep your sense of humor, let him know it's okay to be curious, and just make sure he knows how to rein it in when it might be offensive to someone who isn't so familiar with some of the quirks that go along with being a five-year old boy.
And finally, there are some great books that you can read together to launch important discussions about children's bodies and sexuality. One in particular, Everyone Poops, was a favorite around our house. My editor at ParentDish is a fan of Girls Are Girls and Boys Are Boys: So What's The Difference?, which goes into more detail.
It's all part of the wild ride of raising a child!
Yours in parenting support,
AdviceMama
AdviceMama, Susan Stiffelman, is a licensed and practicing psychotherapist and marriage and family therapist. She holds a Bachelor of Arts in developmental psychology and a Master of Arts in clinical psychology. Her book, Parenting Without Power Struggles, is available on Amazon. Sign up to get Susan's free parenting newsletter.
Have a question for AdviceMama? Submit your question here.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
11-19-2009 @ 11:24AM
ruth douglass said...THIS IS NOT, NOT COMMON ASK A SHRINK, I AM ONE.
Reply
11-19-2009 @ 4:13PM
Lyndsey said...This is VERY normal, my boys do it and so do friends little boys. If your a shrink and have kids you should know this is true, come on now.
Reply
12-09-2009 @ 1:24PM
steve said...sure sounds like the same type thing homosexuals talk about
Reply
12-18-2009 @ 5:20AM
tulipsorcheese said...Steve, you must be a homophobe or maybe one that does not want to "come out of the closet". BTW, I am not gay or lesbian.
1-17-2010 @ 2:16AM
Rachael said...I didnt even know little 5yr old boys joked around at recess, I thought they just handpainted and chaised eachother in the little tricycles.... Umm I have a little 13 month old boy (first time mommy so this is all very new and strange for me) I knew little boys and men in general are obsessed w/their package but didnt know 5y/o went around joking about it.
Reply
3-03-2011 @ 3:08PM
Tracy said...it is not normal and since so many people seem to think it is ok then you are all part of the problem. My son was repeatedly molested by a bunch of 5 6 and 7 year olds for more than a year when it finally came out. Then all the adults and school personnel tried to claim they weren't responsible. No child that young should be talking about their privates and cracking jokes it should be setting off red lights and sirens. Our children need to be children and some people ought to start remembering that. I feel so bad for parents that ignore the signs of sexual abuse because I missed some of them too. I feel like I failed my son when he needed me most. Dont make the same mistake. Put a stop to it and discuss it with the other boys' parents. In the end do you want your child being molested whether it is a stranger or a friend? Do not wait until it is too late. For many it already is.
Reply