Dear AdviceMama:

My five-year-old son seems to be obsessed with talking about poop and his penis. Is that normal? He tells me that a group of kids in school always joke about these things at recess. I'm a little worried.

Signed, It's soooo not funny! Dear Soooo:

Kids, specially little boys, are absolutely fascinated by their equipment and the things that come out of their bodies. Frankly, I don't get it either, but for the most part, the behavior you're describing is normal and age-appropriate, so I wouldn't worry about it.

If your son is talking excessively about his bodily functions, it could be that he has questions that he is uncomfortable asking you directly. Make sure you're approachable, so your little boy feels he can ask you awkward questions without feeling embarrassed or ashamed.

However, if a child exhibits unusually provocative or sexual behavior that is beyond his developmental age, it is important to make sure no one has been behaving inappropriately with him. Conversations about good touch versus bad touch are perfectly appropriate to have with him at this age.

From what you're saying, your son's behavior seems quite innocent. When my son was around four or five years old, all he had to do was insert the word "poop" or "fart" into a sentence to make the other kids act like they'd just been told the funniest joke in the history of mankind. I know it can be irritating (and sometimes disgusting!), but the less negative fuss you make about your son's fixation on the mysteries of his body, the better. Try to keep your sense of humor, let him know it's okay to be curious, and just make sure he knows how to rein it in when it might be offensive to someone who isn't so familiar with some of the quirks that go along with being a five-year old boy.

And finally, there are some great books that you can read together to launch important discussions about children's bodies and sexuality. One in particular, Everyone Poops, was a favorite around our house. My editor at ParentDish is a fan of Girls Are Girls and Boys Are Boys: So What's The Difference?, which goes into more detail.

It's all part of the wild ride of raising a child!

Yours in parenting support,
AdviceMama

AdviceMama, Susan Stiffelman, is a licensed and practicing psychotherapist and marriage and family therapist. She holds a Bachelor of Arts in developmental psychology and a Master of Arts in clinical psychology. Her new book, Parenting Without Power Struggles, is now available.

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