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Parents Should Play Role in Teen Romances, Study Says
Filed under: In The News, Social & Emotional Growth: Tweens, Research Reveals: Tweens, Social & Emotional Growth: Teens, Research Reveals: Teens
Teens don't want parents to meddle in their romances, but they do want someone to talk to. Credit: P-J-TRASH, Flickr
The Wall Street Journal reports that a study conducted in part by Stephanie Madsen, associate professor of psychology at McDaniel College in Westminster, Md., reveals that teens whose parents talk about dating and offer advice tend to have better romantic relationships with less fighting and tension later in life.
The researchers looked at 225 young adults ages 22 to 29, and also discovered that children whose parents mind their own business when it comes to teen romance tend to have less fulfilling, more conflicted relationships that are less affectionate and supportive.
Madsen points out that the research doesn't give parents a free pass to meddle. Kids still don't want unsolicited advice. Teens like it best, she told the Journal, when mom or dad takes a "coaching" role, listening and offering advice only when asked. Don't say, "You have to break up with this person." Instead try explaining, "what you're seeing that seems unhealthy, or that worries you," Dr. Madsen says.
A second study published last year in Child Development showed that dating habits can have long-term effects on teens' emotional and social health, according to the Journal. Researchers looked at 78 middle-schoolers and rated the teens and their boyfriends and girlfriends on several depressive factors and peer reports of aggression, popularity and bullying.
Eleven months later, they repeated the ratings process, and found that kids who had poor ratings in the first round, but had healthy boyfriends or girlfriends, fared better in the second round thanks to the influence of their romantic partners. Researchers called the results "striking."
Do you meddle in your teen's romantic life, or do you take a less active role?
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
11-30-2009 @ 2:29PM
Elin Stebbins Waldal said...With teen dating violence on the rise this is sound advice. Thank you for posting!
Reply
12-03-2009 @ 4:24PM
leah said...It is true teenagers like me don't want their parents in their relationship business; I never talk to my parents about anything dealing with relationships. When I do they always butt in and make my boyfriend break up with me.....
Reply
12-05-2009 @ 3:18AM
Fa said...I like to listen to my kids (son 15; daughter 12) tell me their exciting news as they discover they like someone or someone likes them. It is wonderful "mom" moments. Since I'm divorced, I hesitate to tell them what to do, but I do talk about what I've observed and read. I let them make their own decisions and it's been great being part of their discovery.
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