Moms With Young Kids Are the Angriest Americans

by Amy Hatch (Subscribe to Amy Hatch's posts) Dec 8th 2009 8:00AM

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A new study says moms are mad, and they express their anger by yelling. Credit, Paolo Tarantini, Flickr

Feeling enraged, moms? A new survey says that mothers with young kids are some of the angriest Americans.

The University of Toronto study surveyed 1,800 Americans to get a better picture of anger in America, researcher Scott Schieman tells MSNBC. Among those who experience feelings of anger from mild annoyance to outright rage are parents of young children, and moms in particular report angry behaviors such as yelling.

"There's obviously a lot of joys and benefits that come with parenthood," but other aspects of parenting, such as having to discipline a misbehaving child, can cause feelings of anger and annoyance, Schieman tells MSNBC.

ParentDish AdviceMama Susan Stiffelman says that young kids can tax the patience of even the most Zen parent.

"Angry feelings are triggered by frustration, pressure and a sense of powerlessness, all of which are part and parcel of raising kids who at times misbehave when we feel desperate for their cooperation, slow us down when we have a long list of things to accomplish, and refuse to be part of the team when we need their cooperation," says Stiffelman.

What else makes us angry? Time pressures generate feelings of annoyance -- and we all know how much spare time mothers of young children have.

Other angry Americans include those under 30, who told researchers that financial problems and workplace conflicts stress them out. Those who have low incomes also have feelings of anger and are less likely to express them, the study found.

Are you an angry parent? How does your anger manifest itself?

Related: More Just for Moms

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Comments (36)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)

Wendy 12-08-2009 @ 9:04AM

How sad. If parents would learn to live in the moment, keep a sense of humor and remember that a child is a gift from God, they would find their lives much more peaceful and pleasant.

Too late Now! 12-08-2009 @ 4:48PM

Their lives are OVER. Of COURSE they are angry! LOL! New parents realize they now have this snotty, crying, little spoiled brat to tend to instead of enjoying their lives. How can you tell I'm not a parent by choice?? LOL!! (I'm also retired, young and thankful I never had rugrats!)

aurorab981 1-09-2010 @ 8:21PM

well that is kind of hard to do with little sleep and having to work and then come home and take care of a child/dren.if we didn't have to have a 2 income family in order to make ends meet and have soome luxuries, we as moms wouldn't be as stressed out as we are now and would probably be less angry and less stressed.i have decided to stay home with my kids until my youngest is in school and do without the luxuries because if i didn' t and i decided to work right away, i would be in a mental health ward by now

erthwmn72 1-21-2010 @ 1:31PM

You know what makes a lot of moms mad....other moms who make comments like how we need to remember how are children are a gift from God.They act like they never get mad at their children when in reality they yell at their kids or get angry at them...but when noone is around giving them the outer illusion that they are perfect. I dare anyone to spend time with a two year old, a five year old and an eight year old and listen to them fight and argue with each other and spill things for the fifth time in the row and argue over why they have to eat dinner before ice cream and keep their Mary Poppnins attitude in tact. For the rest of us who are real moms with actaul feeling way to go!!!

LJK 12-08-2009 @ 4:31PM

Wendy, you must not be a mother...

smithjoju1 12-08-2009 @ 1:56PM

I just remember to"just keep swimming." Mother's Day Out is a lifesaver!

AG 12-08-2009 @ 2:55PM

How sad! If people like Wendy were more empathetic and less judgmental, the entire world would be a better place and mothers would have less anger.

new mommy 12-09-2009 @ 12:07PM

I am a new mommy and I completely understand. When my 6 month old is screaming his head off at 3:00 in the morning because he is sick, running a fever, and cutting teeth, I want to scream right along with him. I find myself snapping at my husband if he didn't ask the doctor a question and I have to make the call...It's hard to be a parent. My sister is one of those people that don't have kids and seem to be able to tell you the 'best' way to be a parent. People without kids are certainly full of parenting advice.

allison 12-15-2009 @ 12:33AM

Wendy- I can understand where your coming from, but a sense of humor does not always get you through the most stressful of situations, no matter what kind of utopia you like to believe your living in. New Mommy- it gets easier!! I have a 14 month old, and I am a young mom (23) and a full-time college student... its okay to feel overwhelmed, esp. over teething, but everything comes in strides and before you know it your happy baby will be back again. The best thing I can say is get him on a routine for naps and bed time, and you will save yourself a lot of headaches in the future. I do admit, i have been losing my cool lately, as my daughter tests my patience. But parents learn right along with their children, we are not perfect and as long as we notice our flaws and try to change them, I would say we're doing a great job anyways! Their smiles and giggles are always worth the stress, that's what my husband and I say everyday. :]

B 2-05-2010 @ 12:11AM

I feel your pain. I have a 6 year old and a 3 year old and they could not be more different. My 6 year old has been a challenge from the start and I have gotten so much unsolicited advice from so many people without children as to how to discipline her. As it turns out, she is in the 20% of children that are very "sensitive" and it requires a different approach to parenting. But those so-called experts still want me to discipline her the old fashioned way. Just in case anyone is looking for a different approach try a book called 'Positive Discipline". Currently taking the class because the book is good but overwhelming. Works for all children.

Heather 12-15-2009 @ 11:42PM

Here's a big reason why moms are feeling so frustrated and powerless. It is no longer considered appropriate to spank an unruly toddler. Time out works for some kids, and in many situations, but not all. Kids know that no matter what they do, they aren't going to face a real or painful consequence. Of course moms are yelling. But I ask you- which is more abusive. One quick spanking and then the behavior is over, a tear is shed, then a hug and peace is restored, or a screaming Mommy yelling in the little guys face over and over, chipping away at his self worth one angry word at a time????

Kelly Fulton 2-04-2010 @ 9:44AM

OMG, Someone finally understands. We both have a child from other people and one together, the 12 & 9 yr old step kids to us both, and a 3 yr old together. It is really hard to get kids to listen to you when theyre yours let alone when theyre not. I stay workat home with the kids and my Bo brings the bacon, being the one that does the (24/7) caregiving it gets so stressfull because the kids dont listen until you yell, knowing the hole time its coming just trying to show theyre the boss. that really gets me fired up when they think that things should just be done,and get what they want when they want it, but when it comes to me needing something from them then its rolling the eyes and giving attitude. What kinda person wouldnt get upset & frustrated, I think from now on when they ask for something from me I'll roll me eyes and fling myself around see how it makes me feel when they do it to me!!!!

Molly 12-17-2009 @ 11:10AM

I completely understand getting frustrated or angry. Being a mom is hard work and it can be frustrating when my 5 month is crying and I don't know what to do to make it better. Sometimes you just have to put them down and walk away for a bit. As long as you aren't thinking about hurting them I think its normal. Becoming a mom is the hardest but best thing I have ever done in my life.

mom of 2 year old 12-19-2009 @ 2:17PM

It is frustrating that whenever I'm in public with my boundry-testing 2 year old, I feel the eyes on me, even when she is behaving nicely. Moms are constantly judged on how we interact with our kids. You've got the people ready to jump in your face if you don't "shut that kid up" and those that are ready to call child protective services if you so much as raise your voice. Just havig a small child when you walk into certain places (airplanes is a big one) gets you the eyerolls and nasty words and puts you on the defensive- and my dughter was asleep!! No wonder moms are angry- have some compassion and let people discipline thier kids. Time outs do NOTHING for my daughter- she thinks they are hilarious.

Angela Parker 12-22-2009 @ 8:37AM

I am going through this stage at the moment with my almost 3 year old. My husband and I have sat down and decided that we need to look at perhaps what is causing the problem, rather than just trying in vain, to discipline him every day. He goes to a daycare where they eat far too much junk food, so I think this is the first thing we are going to try and control

Angela from wallstickers-decals.com

angela b 12-23-2009 @ 1:01AM

i am a mother of 2 and one on the way in february i love my children unconditionally they drive me insane but i wouldnt and couldnt live my life with out them they are my world ive never been more angry and frustrated in my life than i am now. the thing with kids is that they have neverending energy that i could only wish that i had even one day a week. so wendy when you eventually have a child come back here and repost that you acctually do understand how and why mothers are angry and frustrated

Erika 1-02-2010 @ 1:23PM

being the mother of an extremely inquisitive 16month old lil girl, i find myself sometimes on the verge of losing my freakin mind!! seriously, it's nuts! i try not to become stressed out but when you have a toddler, are working 3 jobs to make ends meet and have ABSOLUTELY no free time to yourself (sometimes i can barely go to the bathroom alone or in peace lol tmi, right?) being angry and frustrated become an understatement... believe me, i know that my child is a gift from the heavens and i couldn't imagine my life without her (she's probably the coolest person i know) but there are times when i just need to release that tension!

Heidi Manning 1-09-2010 @ 3:49AM

Hahaha! I have to laugh because on some level I can understand where everyone is coming from... I live in a beautiful neighborhood 1 block from my favorite organic coffee shop that as a single person I enjoyed on a daily basis. As a mom, having recently moved back to this neighborhood with a 3-year-old girl, I can vividly recall the 3 mortifying tantrums that have recently occurred in said coffee shop. It's so hard to be "yourself" when the little person that you are responsible for is body slamming her hot cocoa on the floor in front of a room full of strangers! How does one gracefully recover from situations such as this?! And why does my child find it most convenient to SCREAM for the flower cookie amongst these strangers?! OMG parenthood is the most testing, challenging, trying times a person can go through, as far as I can tell. Still, it has to be the most rewarding, as well. Cheers to us all for doing our best!

Kelly 2-05-2010 @ 9:54AM

Yes all mothers need a pat on the back for doing all the things we do to make sure that everyone is taken care of. As far as kids showing off in front of strangers i have no idea, my 3year old does this regularly, and it makes me look like you cant control my kid, but let us try to correct them by disipline and youve got a lawsuit on your hands, these kids are going to be running the world soon and god help us if we dont demand respect now. CUTOS to ALL the hard working mothers out there, the world will be a better place because of it!

Rachael 1-12-2010 @ 3:56AM

First of all if you dont have kids, why are you reading this??? I have a 13 month old and for the most part hes a great kid, he always has been, but kids do have a way of turning into monsters from time to time. I do my best to stay calm and try to figure out how to help him feel better so we can both get on with our day. As for you women with not children you will most likely end up with 50 cats, lonely and bitter. But hey on the other hand, Thank u for not having children, the world doesnt need anymore of you.

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