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Bullying: How to Spot It and Stop It
Filed under: Expert Advice: Big Kids, Expert Advice: Tweens, Expert Advice: Teens
Bullying is a problem that has been around for years and is not going anywhere. Kids often do not tell their parents when they are being bullied because they are embarrassed or afraid that their tormentors will up their antics if adults get involved.
Realizing parents' limited experience with bullies, the U.S. Health Resources and Services Administration has sponsored Stop Bullying Now!, a kid-friendly Web site that includes a section that helps parents identify when their child is being bullied.
Among signs to look for are kids coming home with unexplained bruises and cuts. They might also have torn or damaged clothing and books. Children who once liked school might lose interest if they're being bullied. Others might have trouble sleeping or suffer from headaches, stomach problems, a loss of appetite or symptoms of anxiety. A fear of school is also common among bullied children.
To stop bullying, parents have to find out exactly what is happening. They should ask direct questions like, "Are there any kids who tease you?" Parents can also ask indirect questions like "Who do you sit with at lunch and on the bus?" If the child still won't open up, parents should contact the school.
Teachers, guidance counselors and principals can often evaluate the relationship between a child and his or her peers. It might be hard for teachers to identify bullying outright; however, parents can ask questions like, "How does my child get along with other students in the class?"
Bullying can have dangerous side effects, including death, which is why it's important that parents pay attention to changes in their children's behavior.
Read more about bullying at ParentDish, including how bullies in other countries are fended off by bodyguards.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
4-02-2010 @ 9:22AM
Diane Stuart said...It's important to distinguish between characteristic bullying between girls and boys. "Mean girl behavior" has been somewhat inaptly named bullying, though it springs from the same well. It takes more of a psychological form and often is the result of insecure angry girls banding together who will single out another insecure girl to make her feel bad about herself. Often vaporous and subtle means are used which are hard for adults to identify and confront: unfounded gossip, rumors spread through the internet, gatherings intended to leave out the victim. However, it's vicious and hurtful and has devastating effects. It's very important for the victim to have adult allies who can help her validate what she is experiencing and step in to confront the perpetrators. Empowering the victim also includes helping her understand the big picture, to recognize it is not about her personally, and to help her solidify a social group (2 people can be a group) who can reflect her positive self-image.
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4-02-2010 @ 11:38AM
Helen G. said...I think "Bullying" in the United States has become a serious issue in schools as well as online. I am a Grandmother now and raised my two children successfully somehow in spite of the world kids now find themselves in. I worry very much about my two little Grandsons who now live on the East Coast. They were raised with me and have good hearts, good religious background and are very smart, however I worry that these kind little boys may someday become the victims of this horrible social disease. I worry even more sence they have moved to the East where it seems snobbery and a too busy lifestyle on the part of Parents may be a contributing factor for these kids that are frustrated and turn into Bullies. It seems most of the news of this is cropping up in similar areas in the Eastern part of the states. All I can say is Parents, "unplug your kids" spend quality time with them, get to know them, listen to their problems, don't be so quick to make light of them as they are big issues to you when you are a child. Play with them, Love them to the fullest extent of your being as you never know what will happen when they are alone at school, or walking down the road. And my favorite all time saying for people to consider is "Catch Kids Doing Something Good!". God Bless families in our country.
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4-02-2010 @ 2:22PM
Lea said...Helen, since when did Colorado become an eastern state? Two of the most well known incidents/shootings happened in Colorado because of bullying. I've lived on both sides of the coast and in the middle. Don't fool yourself into thinking that snobbery is only found on the east coast. I've seen it in every state I've lived in and it's rampant from coast to coast. Ignorance is the root of so many evils.
4-02-2010 @ 12:13PM
BC said...When talking about kids whe are bullies one thing I have noticed that hasn't been addressed is that some of these kids who are bullys, See this kind of behavior by observing their own parents. Their parents may be corprate bullies. When they see & hear thier parents acting and talking this way. It is communicted to them it is ok for them to be this way. {In addition It could even be an adult figure they look up to.} Bullying is not just in schools or online. It's also in the work place. It is indeed a serious problem that needs to be addressed. Bc
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4-02-2010 @ 1:13PM
Ozboz said...We can protect our kids and our selves from bullying by learning people safety skills. Kidpower http://www.kidpower.org/ has a huge online library of resources for people of all ages, including a free, downloadable coloring book.
Check them out!
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4-03-2010 @ 12:21PM
Nancy Dugan said...Don't bother going to the school. Go straight to the police, file a report listing each incidence, and get a restraining order. The detectives will notify the school and all the other authorities. Your child, just like an adult, is protected from harrassment by the US constitution. You don't need a middle man from the school who will inevitably try to downplay and obscure the problem.
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