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Filed under: Baby Names, Opinions
Here at Name Lady Central we see names of all stripes, from the common and conservative to the wild and woolly.
Most of them, even the woolliest, are chosen with love by well-meaning moms and dads. But a few name trends from the past decade have crossed the line. Here are the Name Lady's picks for the worst name trends of the decade:
Selling Your Baby's Name To The Highest Bidder
Did you hear about the expectant parents who put naming rights to their new baby up for auction on eBay? In fact, you've had plenty of chances to hear that since the year 2000. In the sell-from-home decade, several families have seen baby naming as an opportunity to pick up some quick cash. This year, one determined Arkansas mom re-listed her unborn son's name auction five times. Her goal (unmet) was $20,000 to help pay the household bills.
Some of the eBay parents have seemed genuinely desperate, while others may have just been out for attention. Before you write them all off, consider one thing they had in common: They were trying to sell a name that belonged to somebody else, not their own. That makes them fitting emblems for a decade when more and more parents started treating baby names as creative fashion accessories.
Giving Your Baby A Corporate Trademark Name
There's a natural overlap between product names and baby names. Parents may be attracted to a name like Sienna for a girl for the same reasons that Toyota was attracted to it for a minivan. But since the '90s, the brand naming of babies has reached new heights. Labels like Nautica, Lexus and Armani have joined the ranks of America's top 1,000 names, and almost no popular brand seems off limits. At last count, four American boys sported the name ESPN.
The U.S. doesn't regulate baby names, but the more we bestow corporate trademarks on children, the closer we come to a brave new world of naming law. What does it mean when a corporation owns the rights to your name? What will happen to little ESPN if he wants to be a sportswriter, or to Nautica if she tries to design clothes?
Using Names As An Excuse To Make Fun Of People
Name insults are as old as schoolyard taunts. In this decade, though, adults have elevated baby name bashing to the level of blood sport. Whenever a new celebrity baby is born, the world waits with bated breath to tear the name to shreds. (In reality, most celebrity babies have perfectly normal names -- Henry and Ava are favorites -- but what fun is that?)
The most toxic name bashing uses names, real or invented, as a sly way to make fun of whole segments of our society. For example, one of the hottest Internet stories of recent years is the dubious tale of the girl named Le-a, pronounced Ledasha because "the dash don't be silent." The most common version of that story concludes with the commentary, "And we let these people vote."
Making Your Baby's Name A Tool To Advance Your Agenda
In December 2008, the Campbell family of New Jersey made international headlines when a supermarket bakery refused to write their young son's name in icing on a birthday cake. The rejected name: Adolf Hitler.
The parents expressed shock and dismay at the store's decision, but it soon became clear that they knew the score. The supermarket had rejected the Campbells' requests before, and they had pointedly insisted on both first and middle names on the cake, not just Adolf. In short, the parents had set up a media event, using their child's name as bait. Their whole Nazi-named brood and swastika-filled living room were soon being beamed to news outlets across the globe. How long before more zealots of every stripe follow suit, naming their children as living billboards?
Here's wishing us all a new decade of loving, well-chosen names.
What are the worst naming trends you've seen? Share your experiences! And if you have your own question to Ask the Name Lady, drop her a line!
Related: Most Stylish Baby Bumps, More From The Name Lady












ReaderComments (Page 1 of 15)
12-26-2009 @ 5:00AM
Loretta said...Gosh - I feel so unhip because I'm actually responding to the story and not trying to sell something! Parentdish - please monitor your posts and ban the sales pitches if you want to maintain with a quality blog!
The worst trend I see in baby names is giving children ridiculous names for the sake of being unique. Two dreadful examples are Squirrely Jellybean and Shitay. I actually saw the first as a birth announcement and the second on a website. What were those parents thinking? There is actually a bad baby name site out there - sad to think that youngsters have to go through 18 years of torment to satisfy some perverse need of a parent to give their child a name that is "different."
Other trends I see include giving kids obscure or outdated names like Myrtle and Cornelius, setting kids up for a lifetime of having their names misspelled by using "creative" spelling (to be "different") and giving African-American kids names made up of a jumble of syllabus.
I did not get to name my children because they were adopted and I kept their birth names. Luckily, they were both "nice" names and I've often wondered what I would have named them had my children come wtih weird or embarrassing names.
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12-28-2009 @ 7:38PM
PADDY said...WE NEED MORE PATRICKS
12-28-2009 @ 6:27PM
willowreed said...Yeah I hate how people take a normal name and spell it weird. I don't even mean slightly off-spellings either. And that whole afro-american thing is ridiculous. I play on a large online game and someone made up a character name of Sheneeqwa (yes spelled that way) and ran around yelling "Where is the welfare office?"
Geez..if they want to stop racism, start right there, quit making up names that don't even make any sense.
And that lameo adolf hitler family needs a smack.
12-28-2009 @ 7:51PM
laura said...What do you think of the name Mallory? I have come across several Mallory's this decade and think it is unusual but not too out there.
12-28-2009 @ 8:05PM
Kate said...I was in the grocery store the other day and a mother called for her son. His name was Atlas. I laughed to myself because it was such a silly thing to name your child. When will we hear about a little Encyclopedia, Dictionary or Thesaurus? Another name I do not like is Angus...because it has anus in it.
12-29-2009 @ 7:59AM
Mary said...My late daughter worked with a girl who had a baby girl she named Orange Jello. Spelled as one word and pronounced A- ron- jalo.
No joke.
12-29-2009 @ 11:50AM
happyvixen said...Kate - The etymology of a name doesn't make it exempt from ridicule and dislike.
12-29-2009 @ 6:32PM
Kate said...Sarah I already knew the mythological origins of the name. However, most people think of a book of maps. I was not incorrect to mention the reference. You simply picked one of the less known origins. Perhaps to try and make yourself seem smart or something. I do not care where Angus comes from, it reminds me of anus and even has it in it.
Oh and "happy"vixen, clearly it doesn't make it exempt being I dislike it. TELL me something I already did not know.
Two broads with their panties in a wad..priceless.
12-29-2009 @ 7:00PM
Kate said...tbone writes:
Dear Kate,
Atlas is a real name. Not so much a funny one, just a real one. Go to school much? smh.
_________________
This is coming from someone that didn't even know how to properly reply to a post. I found you 6 pages down buddy... lol.
Oh and for those other posts telling me Angus was a real name, did I ever say it was not? Don't tell me to go back to school when you can't even comprehend what you read. :)
12-30-2009 @ 12:20AM
Shawna23 said...For people like Loretta and "Willowreed" how ironic that you assume the worst in afro-american culture from what you presume to be "made up names". I seriously doubt that you tell Indian, Pakistani, or Japanese people to "stop having names with so many made up syllables". You wouldn't dare tell these groups to stop naming their kids some "fake names" given that you have absolutely NO knowledge of what is made up or real in your opinions. You assume that there is some meaning whether you know for sure or not is up in the air.
For some reason, whites and even self hating blacks take issue with obviously african-american names. People who take offense remind me of how backwards and racist the USA STILL is to want everyone to take up obviously WHITE monosyllabic names. It's as if you assume that everyone else is as retarded as you are and can't grasp something, anything beyond a Joe, Sue or Kate. How sad...you probably only speak even one language because you are too lazy to learn anything else and even that one language is mediocre at best.
Please tell me...is there a frickin' name wizard or office that you subscribe to who validates one name and not another? Didn't think so. You simply draw on racist stereotypes inferring that someone with an African-American name is a welfare recipient. I'm so glad Oprah never bought into the lie.
Before you trash a person's name you may want to do a little research and you will actually find that as impossible and unlikely as it seems, there are many African-American names that have their roots in African culture and traditional names. You are probably the same limited thinking people who would recommend black people getting relaxers to be more acceptable to whites. You self hating fools
12-30-2009 @ 6:57PM
ddcarrell said...I knew two sets of twins, Rip & Tarre (boy & girl) and Ragina & Vagina, serioulsy, and pronounced the way you think! I cannot imagine what people are thinking when they attempt to come up with "unique" names for their children to go through life with! I also wonder what people think when they name their children Johnny Johns, Robert Roberts, Merrie Chrismas, Belle Flower, (I went to school with these people). Why???
12-26-2009 @ 10:32PM
LS said...I second the plea to PD to monitor the comments. These ads are getting WAY out of hand.
The worst name I've seen in recent years (ok, THIS year) has got to be Abcde, pronounced, "AB-si-dee". Talk about trendy. It's bad enough that she has to go through school with a jumble of letters for a name, but then she has to endure the Resume Rounds... sad to say, but the first thing an employer sees on a resume is your name. And for better or worse, right or wrong, many a judgment on a person has been made simply by reading that name. I cannot imagine that "Abcde" is going to garner her any points in the employment world...
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12-28-2009 @ 9:08PM
Laura Riggs said...You are very right about not giving your child a name that will be a burden when it comes to job hunting. A teacher friend of mine related a story where she told an executive in the human relations department of a huge company the name of one of her students. It was one of those weird African-American names. The executive told the teacher that the name was unhirable. If the company received a resume from him, they would throw it away unread because the name carries negative welfare connotations. And this comes from an African-American executive. What a shame for this young man that no matter what he may achieve in school, many corporations will view him as a welfare bum just because of the name his mother saddled him with.
12-28-2009 @ 11:24PM
sdsbabygirl said...I actually, sadly, know a little girl with this name. Her mom was a member of my moms' meetup group. At first, I thought it sounded pretty, but then I found out how it was spelled, and my jaw hit the floor.
12-29-2009 @ 10:43AM
Tammy said...My children don't have 'normal' names, but they are not horrific names either. My oldest has the most 'normal' name Kassandra. My son is Briar Scott (normal middle name so when he becomes a lawyer and doesn't want to go by his first name he can B. Scott _____ Atty at Law) and my youngest is Chenoa (sha-noah) Leigh, with her being our last I had to pict a Native American name or my MIL was going to be upset. Chenoa means 'white dove' btw.
I hate my name, Tammy. It's a nick name not a name. My whole life when asked for my full name and I say Tammy, I always hear 'is that short for Tamera or Tamara?' No nick names as first names PLEASE!
12-29-2009 @ 12:34PM
Amanda said...Abcde is my 44 year old sister's middle name. Not exactly "trendy" if it's been around for that long... just sayin...
10-24-2010 @ 4:16PM
PatBB said...I agree with Laura & LS on the job ramifications, which also apply to dating & friendship.
Re: Tammy, I agree that the official name belongs on the birth cert., not the nickname. I just read an obit here in NC of a "Tommy (Tom) --------!" He deserved the dignity of being Thomas.
BTW, I'm within one letter of agreeing with U on your son's name, which should be "Brian Scott." Makes a nice double name, too, esp. back when there were way too many Brians.
3-03-2011 @ 12:15PM
Bonnie said...Fortunately, children may opt to legally change their names at the age of majority (18), in most states. Since most kids don't enter the working world until that age, they needn't suffer the consequences of a name that might hurt their chances of finding work, building a career, entering public office, etc.
The name Angus is of Celtic origin, and its meaning is "one choice". In Celtic mythology Angus Og is a god of attractive traits such as humor and wisdom. Parents of Celtic origin have been naming their children Angus for centuries. And BTW, we all have an anus, no matter what our name is. Get over it.
12-28-2009 @ 4:30PM
WSTARHOPPER said...I also would like to ask PD to monitor the posts and take down ads for other sites that have nothing to do with the above story.
That being said I would like to beg parents to be to think about what you are doing when you give your child a name. Kids can be mean when you have a name like Coco or Apple you are setting your child up for a life of torment. Please be kind to your child.
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12-28-2009 @ 4:31PM
Mrs Mars said...And when did it become a trend to have complete poetic license with baby names? You can have a complete disregard for your culture's alphabet and phonetics simply because you want to. I refer back to the previous poster's "Abcde". Name me a country that would phonetically recognize that combination of letters as ab-si-dee?!
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