My Mother Hates My Baby Name

I think uncommon names are fantastic as long as they don't go overboard. I don't think disapproval from others or the lack of a "good" nickname should be criteria when choosing your baby's name. I adore the name Agnes. And while in the U.S. it may be associated as a name for older women, it's still very popular in France therefore when I hear someone with that name in the U.S. I think it sounds very chic. I also think the French pronunciation sounds pretty (Agnès).

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I personnally have never been crazy about a lot of unique names beginning with vowels, Olga, Eunis, Aggie, Abigale iola, You also have to consider that the kids at school will shorten them or make nick names out of the names given.

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As someone who was given what I consider an old fashioned name I have to agree that Agnes would not be my choice. It must really be a generational thing because I share my name with an Aunt and she loves it. I on the other hand have always hated my name, and always associated it with being old since I never knew anyone my age or younger with my name.
Some names such as Jacob, Michael and Emily stand the test of time and never lose popularity. Parents may want their children to stand out by picking an untraditional or old fashioned name that few in their generation have but for a child it often makes them feel different or isolated. I am in my 40s now and am still uncomfortable with my name.

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I have a friend whose name is Agnes. She has said she is so embarrassed by her name that only her family and childhood friends know her by it. Everyone else knows her by her nickname ; she likes to be called Tinkie or Tink for short. She said that Agnes always made her feel old and she would never pass that name on to her children. She knows first hand what it was like growing up w/ an older womans name.

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As an Emily, I can't say that the name stands the test of time. When I was in school in the '70s and '80s, I felt like I was the only one under the age of 80 with the name. I despised it at the time, but once it became more popular, I started liking my name a little more.

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When I told my mom we were going to name our first child Owen if it was a boy she told me it was an ugly name and why would I do that to my child. I was heartbroken because both me and my husband loved the name and it was our 1st and only choice for our first son.
We ended up having a girl but our next child was a boy and he is named Owen. My mom died before he was born so she never got to find out what an awesome name and kid Owen is.
After that I pretty much stopped telling people what our name choices were. They weren't up for debate or comment so it was none of their business. We ended up with Meagan, Owen, Brenna and Nora (named after my aunt) and no clue what we're naming the last one due in July.

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I've never thought about why names from a few generations ago that sound fresh to us might still sound "old" to our parents...everything's relative! I think the best advice is to keep the name a surprise and share it once the baby is born--you're right, surely it's hard to judge when the name is suddenly associated with an adorable newborn you are meeting for the first time. :) Thanks!

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Here are my tips when discussing baby names with others.
- If you and your partner are set on a name, don't tell anyone until the baby comes. People will ALWAYS give you their opinion on it whether it's wanted or not.
- When people ask about names, you can deflect them by saying you haven't really decided yet.
- You can also tell a little white lie to people who won't drop the subject...Say I was talking to someone named "Jessica"...In response to the question about names, I'd say, "Well, we haven't really decided yet, but we're actually considering the name Jessica for a middle name if it's a girl." They're usually so flattered they drop the subject. By the time your baby comes people don't usually pay much attention to the middle name and if they do, you can just say you changed your mind. This worked REALLY well for me with work colleagues, acquaintances, and distant family. A little tougher with close family, though.

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When my brothers were born, my grandmother hated their names (Graham and Will) so much that she refused to use them. For years, she called them Joseph and Anthony (no, those were not their middle names — she just liked them better). It was weird.

I'm sure she'll hate whatever name I come up with for my own child and I'm curious to find out what random name she bestows on him/her.

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I had a little bit of the same thing happen to me when I was expecting my first child. The name my husband and I chose was Mercedes Marie. I kept the name to myself on the most part b/c I did not want to here what people had to say about it. I even started questioning my choice in names only b/c I was worried about the comments people would make. Well 6 months later I realized I shouldn't have bothered b/c ny little girl turned out to be a little boy. My husband and I named him Conner, but we were unsure of the most common way to spell it, so we ended up spelling it with an -er instead of -or. He loves his name but gets very upset when people spell it wrong (which they usually do). Well what I learned about the whole situation is to never say anything negative about someone elses name choice. If someone tells me they are going to name there child BOB ( a name I completely hate), I just tell them how happy I am for them and what a lucky baby he will be. I think a parent also has to realize how a childs name will impact them though.

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