Surrogacy vs. Adoption

What an incredible thing she did for those 8 couples!! I don't think people fully understand just what goes into a pregnancy, and though it's hard no matter what (usually) being a surrogate adds a little bit of a strain on the surro if she has a family to care for. I have been a surrogate mom and egg donor that helped create 5 amazingly gorgeous, smart and very much loved children! Being pregnant is amazing (especially with twins!!) so I can understand her love of being pregnant, and to be able to help couples/families at the same time == priceless :-)

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There are many more great surrogacy stories like this one on SurroWorld.com which is a surrogacy community for surrogates, egg donors, intended parents and more. Surrogacy has been in the news very often lately! I heard about Amy and Laschell on Dr. Phill and ABC news, sad stuff.

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I think many people try very hard to control every aspect of their lives. Some things are out of our control. Wanting to be parents is a wonderful thing. Sometimes that desire overwhelms everything and we no longer think about the others affected by our decisions. Specifically, the child/children in question. Not everything is always about us and what we think or feel we deserve. We have to remember we are dealing with people and not possessions or things. Parents don't own their children. Children are a gift.

I have struggled with infertility and it is one of the greatest pains I have ever experienced. I can see why people pursue assisted reproductive technologies, especially when a doctor tells you he/she can give you your hearts' desire. However sometimes it isn't just about us. We have to remember the embryos/children lost in the process.

I am an adoptive parent. We chose not to pursue assisted reproductive technologies. After a short wait we were blessed with a healthy child by the gift of adoption. We are so grateful to his birthmother for choosing life for him and for choosing us to be his parents. She had to deal with a great loss but did it out of love for her child. Adoption is a good thing. We have to get over some of the media misconceptions and our own ignorance in order to be able to see it in that way.

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I understand that everyone here thinks adoption is great but thats not always the case. I think adoption is a good choice only if the birth mother/parents agree to an open adoption. I have one friend who was adopted and loves their adoptive parents and would never consider looking for her birth parents and thats great. But what about the kids that want to know where they are from or who they look like?? Does anyone ever consider that it can be hard for a child to grow up in an adoptive family?? I dated a boy in high school who I found out after a few months was adopted (and so was his brother). I never would have known because he happened to look a lot like his "mother". He hated the fact that he was adopted and rarely told anyone. He always had questions that couldnt be answered. all he knew about "himself" was that he was born in Texas and his parents adopted him when he was 1mo old. He would always wonder why his birthmother gave him away and he really wanted to find her but his parents had a closed adoption so he couldnt find out anything about them. His younger brother was even worse. He was soo jealous of my b.f. because he looked like their mom and he didnt. He was mexican-american mix so he had dark hair and tan skin while the rest of his family had were white with blond hair blue eyes. He and his brother never got along and sometimes he would run away because he felt like he didnt "fit in" anywhere.

I like the idea of open adoption and think I might go that route from the start...so dont get me wrong..Im just saying that its not all rainbows with a pot of gold at the end like everyone wants to believe, there are little people involved in all this and their feelings should be taken into consideration as well.

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