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Moms Have More Leisure Time Than They Think, Researcher Says
Filed under: In The News, Weird But True
Researchers say moms have more time on their hands than they think they do. Credit: zoutedrop, Flickr
Time-use researcher John Robinson is needling moms with the assertion that they aren't working as many hours as they think they are, according to The Washington Post Magazine. He says his data shows that Americans are working fewer hours than they did 20 years ago.
That's not so bad; shrug-worthy, even. But wait, Moms: Robinson also says his data -- collected via "time diaries," in which subjects listed their activities over a set period of time -- reveals that mothers and fathers have nearly equal workloads, including both paid and unpaid work. And here's the real gotcha: He says mothers -- actually all Americans, in fact -- have 30 to 40 hours of free time a week.
"It's very popular, the feeling that there are too many things going on, that people can't get in control of their lives," Robinson tells the Post. "But when we look at people's diaries, there just doesn't seem to be the evidence to back it up. It's a paradox. When you tell people they have 30 or 40 hours of free time every week, they don't want to believe it."
Post reporter Brigid Schulte didn't believe it, and so she kept a diary of her days. What qualified as leisure time? Waiting for a tow truck, visiting a sick friend and answering e-mails at midnight. Basically, anything that couldn't be categorized as paid work, child care or housework is categorized by Robinson as "leisure."
Dena Dyer of Fredericksburg, Texas doesn't buy it either. Mother to Jordan, 11, and Jackson, 5, Dyer also is busy with her career as a blogger and freelance writer (her work has appeared in Women's World and Nick Jr. Digest). She sides with Schulte, saying that 30 to 40 hours a week "sounds really high and almost laughable, unless you call sleep 'leisure time.' "
"I'm a mom and most of my friends are moms. We're lucky to have an hour or two of leisure time a day -- 14 hours a week, at the most -- to call our own, after taking care of work, kids, hubby and other responsibilities," she tells ParentDish. "And that's if we can stay awake after the children are in bed!"
Dyer adds that she could possibly see Robinson's theory being true for a mom who stays at home and whose kids are in school.
"Even then," she says, "many moms spend a lot of their time with kid- and family-related errands, like buying groceries, handling the bills and scheduling doctor's appointments and social time for their families."
When moms do get a chance to go off the grid for a girls' night out, they find themselves bombarded with text messages and phone calls from their kids and husbands. Dyer is no exception, and says she's tried to talk to her family about not bugging her when she's having a little precious down time.
"Usually, I'll have a phone call from one of my sons or my husband at least once or twice during time with friends, even if it's just for an hour, or when I'm trying to be alone with my thoughts," she says. "We laugh about it, but it does bug me a lot at times."
"I'm a solo entrepreneur with my own business, a wife and the mother of a very active 2-year old, Zilia," says Barnsley Brown of Chapel Hill, N.C. "I can't even imagine having 30 hours of leisure time -- unless I was six feet under ground!"
Is 30 hours of free time realistic? Here's what some of our ParentDish Twitter followers have to say:
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ReaderComments (Page 5 of 10)
2-02-2010 @ 10:51AM
ssoodle said...Oh My Gosh....this guy needs to spend one solid month taking care of 4 or 5 kids all day, by himself and then keep the house clean and shop and cook and look "pretty" enough to hold onto a spouse... 'Good Lord, he is delusional... I have tried to do the above... and I have worked in corporate jobs at different times over my 53 years of life... and let me tell you buddy... it is much, much easier to sit at a desk or a conference table and talk on the phone and look at paperwork and make decisions.. go to lunch meetings and blah, blah.. than to be on-call 24 hours a day and being responsible for raising decent and happy, healthy human beings..
wake up .. and stop writing.. S
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2-02-2010 @ 10:57AM
Amanda said...This is laughable. Now I know I don't work as much as some mom's, but I still don't have 30 hours of leisure time. My dad kept my 4 year-old son for half a day and when I got home he asked me how I even had time to use the bathroom with my son around. But my husband thinks that I have more 'me time' than he does. Of course he doesn't count my worrying and taking care of him as actual work. :p
Don't get me wrong though. I wouldn't trade a moment with my son for anything.
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2-02-2010 @ 11:00AM
Bonnie said...Dan--and any other man who thinks the same archaic chauvinistic way--the vast majority of mothers these days are working mothers. We work OUTSIDE the home 40 plus hours a week and when we get home have a husband (like you) who sits on his butt and waits for me to feed the kids and him and do the dishes and help the kids with their homework. Saturdays, he plays golf, then comes home and mows the lawn and thinks he's done his part. While he was playing golf, I was running to the office suplpy store to get the art supplies our son needs for a school project, then I went to Target to find a pair of gym shoes for our other son who's feet seem to go up a size every three months. Then I went to the grocery store, came home, ran the vacuum and throught in a load of the dirty laundry you can't remember to stick in the hamper. My free time last week was the hour and a half I waited in the orthodontists's office.
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2-02-2010 @ 11:33AM
Dan said...He did do his part by supporting your fat ass. He shouldn't have to mow the lawn. He works his ass off everyday to keep a roof over your head and all you can complain about is how he doesn't help you do YOUR job. Get your lazy ass off the couch and make sure the clothes are clean and the house isn't too dirty. Then maybe the least you could do, after he's spent all day torturing himself at work just for you, then you could take 30 minutes out of your day to have something ready for him to eat when he gets home. And don't bark and whine at him when he gets home which is the one place he has been waiting all day to get back to, only to fine he's in another hell separate from his work.
Get over it. So you go out and buy some tennis shoes for your kid here, throw some clothes in the laundry there..... 30 hours of free time a week is a gross underestimation. Any woman that says she is stressed out or never has enough free time does it to herself.
2-02-2010 @ 11:00AM
C. Paterson said...I just praise God I live in America and my house hasn1t fallen down and I can go to the store without haveing to worry about bullets or bombs. Happy here
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2-03-2010 @ 10:09AM
Patty said...There are hardworking men and women out there. When both in a family are doing thier jobs it makes for a good life. When things go wrong it helps that both are working together.
Unfortunately, I do feel that most of the time it is a womans work that is undermined, because it is mundane. It is necessary but no one is getting a promotion, no bonuses, no paycheck to show for it.
Even tho the house is clean, the clothes are clean, the children have lunches, homework done, clean sheets, the animals are fed, the shopping done, the lawn mowed, ( I mow the lawn and do most of outside chores too, like trash half the time, shoveling), and most women who work at home or parttime, volunteer at the schools. Shop for items for the schools. Plan your childrens events for school, afterschool, playdates (which by the way is not leisure time) etc. etc. etc. Because most women just go about these things without moaning and groaning, it appears as if they are done by magic. At least that is what my husband seems to think.
I have tried to boycott, but even if I don't do the cleaning, my child still needs clean and ironed clothes for school and meals and baths etc. So that doesn't work.
It is an thankless but necessary job we do. And a job not recognized as important by mates and society alike. It is our modern society. Because in years past a womans work was considered important. Now, the only work she can do that many deem important is if a paycheck comes with it.
I can go clean and cook and wash and organize 5 days a week for another family, if I bring home a paycheck it is important. But doing the same for my own family is not.
I make a joke to my husband that nanoo nanoo ( the cleaner upper in the Teletubbies show) must live here and be doing the work. Because lord knows he never sees me doing it, even tho it is done.
It is magic!
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2-03-2010 @ 12:15PM
ayumanbean said...After reading these comments I see the average American person is not having a good life. Everyone sounded unhappy and overwhelmed with the daily chores of living. How sad. What is going on America? What happened to the good life? Working all the time and not enjoying any of it isn't what we all signed up for. Hard work is great but there needs to be a balance. Sounds like there is little balance between work and play. What a grind. What happened to the American Dream and the idea of actually enjoying it?
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2-02-2010 @ 11:38AM
CK said...Yes, being a woman is very difficult today. But how did this happen? The first thing they wanted to do was get pregnant, which most do. Many also wanted was to get married, which most still want to do. At this point they have some choices to make. After WWII women decided that work outside the home was what they wanted to do. When this provided “extra income” they wanted to spend money on day care. When the extra income grew, they wanted a second car to fulfill all the new responsibilities. When the extra income was sufficient, they wanted a newer and bigger house. The unusual growth in home prices since that time can be traced primarily to a new phenomena, two incomes bidding for bigger houses because “we” wanted one. The stress of two careers caused the decline in the time either parent could spend watching and guiding their children as they grew up. Growing crime rates among teens and teen pregnancy was the result. Marriage also became a burden to these new wants, so the divorce rates went up. The result, house prices unaffordable on one income, increasing crime and teen pregnancy rates, increased divorce rates and now a “need” to reduce the work load and stress. In brief, all the “wants” are now described as “needs” or even “rights”. Could selfish, greedy or spoiled be the better terms?
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2-02-2010 @ 11:17AM
armywifetx said...I love all these negative comments. I as a military wife whose husband is gone for an18 month tour in afganistan. Has no free time. Wait a minute I guess i do. I have to make free time to get the laundry done, I find free time to cook dinner, take kids to thier sports, ballet, and speech therapy. All while attending school myself. I have so much time to sit on my butt and watch tv. It's been three years since I have even gotten to watch a movie at the theatre. My husband is on his third tour all of which were 18 months a peice to serve this great nation of ours. But the great news is when his is home he always tells me what a great wife and mother i am for taking care of our four children and two dogs. He always helps when he is home. he will be here for R&R. and we work together. It's great. Peace and may everyone have a blessed day
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2-02-2010 @ 11:16AM
cldade55 said...Only a person who has no children and does very little around the house would consider time not spent on housework or paid work to be leisure time. Gee, would renovating my kitchen with the help of my 15 year old and 21 year old qualify as leisure time? By this study, probably, as I chose to do it rather than have another cabinet door fall on my head. It has been a great learing and bonding experience. But leisure? Definitely not.
Leisure time is time free to spend as you wish. I know of no parent, male or female, who has more than an hour or two of such time per day. The rest of the time is spent working for pay, doing household related chores or actively supervising children. Even during such "free" time, you are on call for your children. Parenting is work. It is pleasurable work much of the time, valuable work all of the time but, it is not leisure time.
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2-02-2010 @ 11:18AM
Patty said...Keep him! I have friends who have husbands who appreciate them. I don't think they are in the majority tho. I think some husbands over time, come to realize how hard their wives work. Some never do. But us women are not perfect either. I know women whose husbands are out of the house at 6am and come in at 7pm from work and they still expect them to help with baths and dinner and such. These are women who are stay at home moms. And these guys do! I only say to these women when they complain about something their husbands do, "hold on to them with all you got, because if you let them go, there are a million ladies out there waiting to get a guy like that!"
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2-02-2010 @ 11:22AM
katannie64 said...I think part of the problem is that, as moms, we are on call twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. We may get an hour or two here and there, but it is invariably broken into interrupted, three to five minute mini-breaks that simply leave us feeling frustrated. My kids are far from young--I have a house full of teenagers. But they still feel like I should be available to them at all hours, and as a soon-to-be-empty-nester, I hate to pass up the time they offer me because I am acutely aware of the fact that soon they will be on their own. My "leisure time" is hardly felt as such, because none of it is set aside in such a way as to make it entirely mine. Consequently, I always feel over-extended, even when I should be enjoying "down time".
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2-02-2010 @ 11:26AM
Patty said...Keep him! I have friends who have husbands who appreciate them. I don't think they are in the majority tho. I think some husbands over time, come to realize how hard their wives work. Some never do. But us women are not perfect either. I know women whose husbands are out of the house at 6am and come in at 7pm from work and they still expect them to help with baths and dinner and such. These are women who are stay at home moms. And these guys do! I only say to these women when they complain about something their husbands do, "hold on to them with all you got, because if you let them go, there are a million ladies out there waiting to get a guy like that!"
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2-02-2010 @ 11:27AM
Idiots said...Your all a bunch of idiots...thats your fault if you entered a marriage where you do EVERYTHING while your fat husband or wife sits on their butt... Marriage is about compromise, we both work, i cook, he does the dishes, i mop and sweep, he takes the dog out and shovels.
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2-02-2010 @ 11:33AM
Jason said...It depends on the mother. I get real tired of mothers thinking they are wonderful, incredibly over-worked people just because they're mothers. A: you chose to have kids, get over it. B: I've seen mothers who never a moment to stop and breathe and I've seen mothers who are the laziest people on the planet. Unfortunately, the region where I live, the latter seems to be more common. Rednecks breed like rabbits, and have worse parenting skills.
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2-02-2010 @ 11:36AM
Pam said...Yeah, I have leisure time....It's called reading my book while I'm in the bathroom...trying to ignore the kids and pets on the other side of the door who appear out of nowhere the second my butt hits the seat...Yeah, I have leisure time.
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2-02-2010 @ 11:32AM
emdsteph said...40 hours.....maybe.....but when those 40 hours are in 10-15 minute segments, how can anything substantial be accomplished !!
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2-02-2010 @ 11:32AM
Lesia said...This is for Dan! One your not a woman or a mother so let me tell you how my day starts. I wake up at 5am get my families breakfast started, wake my husband and fix his lunch, get him off to work by 6. Then it's time to wake the kids get them into the shower, feed them, make sure they have their homework then send them out the door. Then I make beds, do dishes Then I get my shower, wolf down my breakfast, then be at work by 8. Where I work 9 hours. Then I get home fix the families supper, get homework done. Then I either am running a kid to girl scouts meeting or running them to a band funtion( pep abnd or marching band) depending on what time of the year it is. Then while my kids are doing that I'm doing laundry, supper dishes and laying out school clothes for the next day. So you tell me Dan when do I have time to sit down to watch a dang thing! Walk in our shoes for a day and see how it feels! Oh and by the way if you are in a loving marriage it's not his or hers money it's our money!
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2-02-2010 @ 11:36AM
Sharon said...I can't imagine any parents, working inside the home or out, having 30 hours of leisure time a week. You don't get that even on vacation. Not if you have children.
I think he is just trying to start a controversy for his own publicity. Probably wants to write a book or go on Oprah.
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2-02-2010 @ 11:36AM
William Bischoff said...Sure, moms get to "watch tv", and "leisurely" eat bon bons. They get to do that while they vaccumn the floors, watch the baby, cook breakfast, make lunches, do laundry, and straighten the house, get the kids off to school, and get themselves ready for work, and get the baby ready to drop off at day care, on their way to their real "jobs". Then, later, moms get to visit with friends, watch tv, and "write in their diaries" relax in the tub, and "dress up for their husbands", while they take and pick up kids from "practice". Then they also have a "lot of free time" while they help the kids with homework, finish the house work they didn't get done in the morning, cook dinner, take care of the baby, who was wet, hungry and cranky, when they got him from "day care" . They "relax" while they arbitrate kids arguments, and supervise their play and "internet access" for their homework. Then these moms have to leisurely clean the kitchen after dinner, finish the laundry and put it away, and make a shopping list for groceries, and appointments for dentists, doctors, and figure out a schedule for their next day, as well as a schedule for kids ball games for the weekend. Then they get to bath the kids, (and themselves) to prepare for the next day. Sure moms have so much free time they have to make the dads write stuff like this while these carefree moms keep up with their "fun activities".
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