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How Many Names is Too Many?
Filed under: Baby Names
I really want to name our soon-to-be daughter after my grandmother or my husband's grandmother. But my husband is not a fan of either name. We finally agreed to go with Lyla, using both of their names as middle names. Is Lyla Clara Melanie too much for a little girl? People keep telling me to just pick one but i'd hate to hurt either side of the family.
- Name Pleaser
You're not alone in wanting your baby's name to do double duty. Lot of parents today want to honor two (or even three or four) relatives with a single name. That's inevitable in this era of smaller families. When you have just one or two grandkids to carry on the traditions of two whole families, those kids' names have to do a lot of heavy lifting.
What's more, it's usually the middle name that carries the burden. Like your husband, most of us today are unwilling to give up first-name fashion to honor a relative -- and it's a rare, lucky family blessed with fashionably named grandmas. But what do you do when you have more grandmas than middle names to honor them with?
Some parents are turning to "mashup" names, merging all of their relatives into one. I get a lot of requests for attractive name ideas that combine, say, Joyce, Frances, Howard and Raymond. In your case, a mashup of Clara and Melanie might give you Carmela. That sure beats Joyfrowmand. Nonetheless, I like your more straightforward approach.
Yes, a second middle name can be a bother. I certainly wouldn't recommend it on style grounds alone. But think of it this way: wouldn't you rather have two middle names and two happy grandmas than just one of each?
How did you handle family names? Share your experiences here! And if you have your own question to Ask the Name Lady, drop her a line!
Related: My Mother Hates My Baby Name
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 8)
2-04-2010 @ 8:34PM
Desiree Fawn said...I say go for it -- in everyday use she doesn't have to declare all of the names if she doesn't want to. My baby sister's name is Raven Tina Gwendolyn Elizabeth, how's that for a mouthful?
My my daughter's name we just used one middle name, the same as my own!
Reply
2-05-2010 @ 6:28AM
Finkel said...In Europe multiple middle names are not unusual, in fact, the more prominent the family the more names, my girlfriend had six "middle" names.
2-05-2010 @ 6:53AM
LaLaBK12 said...Im naming my son (who is due on Feb 25th 2010) AYDAN SPENCER EUGENE BELL. The DAN in AYDAN is my dads name. SPENCER is my dads middle name. EUGENE is the daddies and his daddies and there daddies middle name, and bell is the daddies last name!! I see no problem with the long name!
2-05-2010 @ 8:28AM
KRISTENA said...NOT AT ALL, MY GRAND DAUGHTERS
NAME IS FARRAH OLIVIA GRACE AND HER LAST NAME IS BOTH DAD'S LAST NAME-MOMS LAST NAME. I AND THOSE THAT KNOW US BELIEVE IT IS A BEAUTIFUL NAME AND FITS HER TO A TEE.
2-05-2010 @ 8:31AM
Jackie said...When my husband and I first started thinking of having children we decided that our first son/daughter would have our middle names as there middle names. With our first child we gave him my husbands middle name and when our second child was born (our daughter) my mother had terminal cancer. We decided on giving her my mother's first name as a middle name. My mother didn't want us to go against what we had always said just because of her cancer. We didn't care and we gave her two middle names my mothers first and my middle. I think four names are just fine. If you ask her what her name is she tells you all four. Do what is right in your heart and who cares what anyone else thinks.
2-05-2010 @ 10:24AM
Pat said...This is insane. I find it completely selfish and insensitve to the highest degree that grandparents get that involved in the names of their grandchildren AND end up with an atttude about it.
They have lived their lives and they need to get out of their kids' lives. It is tough enough for a couple having a kid w/o all this name nonsense.
The answer is to not name the kid after either of them. Then, no one gets their old feelings hurt. Or if you plan on having more kids, then name one kid after a grandparent the 1st time around, and then name after the other grandparent the 2 time. Someone can pick names out of a hat to see who goes first.
I repeat. This is the epitmoe of selfishness to have the couple gong through this. Grandparents, grow up and get a life. Should have happeend a while ago, don't you think?
2-05-2010 @ 12:04PM
Ray said...I agree with the multiple middle names. I have a daughter with a hyphenated first name followed by seven middle names and of course her surname. Her mother (my wife) wanted to honor the women that were important in her life. The names included my wifes sisters, mother, grandmother, my mother, an aunt, and even her former mother-in-law. And yes, I thought that was a few to many but that all of these ladies were nice people.
2-05-2010 @ 6:45AM
Lyla said...I love the name Lyla, haha obviously because it's mine! But, no I don't think it's too long. My little brother's full name is Koleman Frank Henry
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2-05-2010 @ 6:28AM
jennifer said...When my brother was born (in 1977), he was to be the last of 5 children and, as luck would have it for him, the only boy. We all chose names to add to his moniker. Greg Robert Geoffrey David Adam Garren M*****. To this day - at 32 years old - we still call him Grgdagm... LOL!
Reply
2-05-2010 @ 7:04AM
Kris said...How do you pronounce that ? LOL
2-05-2010 @ 8:06AM
Rachel said...I think it is fine, my youngest sister (11) has 2 middle names and has always felt special. I verify birth certificate info from parents at out local hospital and once I had to write down SEVEN middle names for a little boy, he was given the names of his uncles and grandfathers. Once I asked the parents what their unborn baby girls name was (she was to be hours later) and dad, a kidder, said some long name, I laughed and said " Yeah, well I'm gonna let you write that one out". Turns out it really was her name...28 letters in the first name alone!!! She was named for her great grandmother from Hawaii. lol
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2-05-2010 @ 7:49AM
Glenda said...Both of my son's have two middle names... before the birth of my first child I was told a second pregnancy was about 1%, so we named him after both his grandfathers... Seven years later I was blessed with a second child. My first born wanted him named a differant name then his father and I picked out, so we used the name he picked as a middle along with his fathers middle name for our second son's middle names. They both are in their 20's now and neither of them have complained about having two middle names.
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2-05-2010 @ 6:51AM
ycav4424 said...Start all over, none of the names are any good.
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2-05-2010 @ 7:26AM
Kris said...I solved the problem when picking names for my daughter by telling the grandmother's that if it was a girl (we didn't know what we were having) she would have my mothers middle name Kathleen and if it was a boy she would have my ex-mil's name Lynn.
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2-05-2010 @ 7:13AM
steve said...me and my sister and a couple of my cousins have 2 middle names a piece. i'm named after my dad, granpa, and great grandpa
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2-05-2010 @ 7:17AM
Amyh said...My Mom was and is still is thrilled we named our son after her and my husbands mother. We used their last names, Nickel Kelley. He goes by Nick. My Mom likes introducing him by saying he's named after her and his other Grandmother, Lois Irene. As a teenager he just rolls his eyes.
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2-05-2010 @ 1:27PM
Becky871 said...what a cool name....Nickel Kelley....my sister's name is Penny so her nickname is Nickel
2-05-2010 @ 7:27AM
RONIN said...My little girl's name in Europa after one of Jupiter's moons. Her friends and teachers love it.
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2-05-2010 @ 7:46AM
Mary said...Dear Name Lady:
I love the name Layla. It means "Dark Beauty, "Beauty of the Night." I'm Lebanese and it reflects well with my culture. The middle name would be "Rose." "Layla Rose". Question, would the Eric Clapton song help or hurt her image?
Mary
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2-05-2010 @ 7:51AM
MAGICKANGELWING said...OUR GRANDDAUGHTER'S NAME IS
"CELESTIAL VICTORIA ALEXZANDRIA CULLING LOPEZ"
I FEEL SO BAD FOR HER WHEN SHE GOES TO KINDERGARTEN. SHE IS THREE NOW BUT SHE HAS BEEN READING BABY BOOKS FOR THE PAST 6 MONTH'S SHE IS VERY SMART! AND SPEAKS SPANISH AND ENGLISH!
I KNOW SHE WILL DO WELL!
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