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How Many Names is Too Many?
Filed under: Baby Names
I really want to name our soon-to-be daughter after my grandmother or my husband's grandmother. But my husband is not a fan of either name. We finally agreed to go with Lyla, using both of their names as middle names. Is Lyla Clara Melanie too much for a little girl? People keep telling me to just pick one but i'd hate to hurt either side of the family.
- Name Pleaser
You're not alone in wanting your baby's name to do double duty. Lot of parents today want to honor two (or even three or four) relatives with a single name. That's inevitable in this era of smaller families. When you have just one or two grandkids to carry on the traditions of two whole families, those kids' names have to do a lot of heavy lifting.
What's more, it's usually the middle name that carries the burden. Like your husband, most of us today are unwilling to give up first-name fashion to honor a relative -- and it's a rare, lucky family blessed with fashionably named grandmas. But what do you do when you have more grandmas than middle names to honor them with?
Some parents are turning to "mashup" names, merging all of their relatives into one. I get a lot of requests for attractive name ideas that combine, say, Joyce, Frances, Howard and Raymond. In your case, a mashup of Clara and Melanie might give you Carmela. That sure beats Joyfrowmand. Nonetheless, I like your more straightforward approach.
Yes, a second middle name can be a bother. I certainly wouldn't recommend it on style grounds alone. But think of it this way: wouldn't you rather have two middle names and two happy grandmas than just one of each?
How did you handle family names? Share your experiences here! And if you have your own question to Ask the Name Lady, drop her a line!
Related: My Mother Hates My Baby Name
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ReaderComments (Page 2 of 8)
2-05-2010 @ 7:50AM
Linda said...We solved the problem of who to name the baby after by not picking either side. We chose names that have never been in the family. Also found it helped because no one confused our children with any other family member living or dead.
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2-05-2010 @ 9:41AM
aworkingmommy@aol.com said...How cold and unfeeling. sad.
2-05-2010 @ 7:54AM
Teresa said...What's wrong with Clara Melanie or Melanie Clara? Both are GREAT names - current but classic, not too cutesy. I say wait until you've gone through labor and delivery. Your husband should agree to whatever you want at that point!
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2-05-2010 @ 8:03AM
Aubrey said...Just name her Mara - that uses the M from Melanie and the ara from Clara!
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5-21-2010 @ 11:59PM
Kat said...I was thinking Meara. Its a nice combo.
2-05-2010 @ 8:12AM
R said...Its not that long. I have six names, four of those being middle. She wants three names? Go for it.
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2-05-2010 @ 8:13AM
Barbara said...I named all 4 of mine after no one in family for 1st name but all have middle names that are the middle names of either grandmother, father, etc. Of course now that my oldest is 50, she tells me all the time she wishes I'd named her after one of her grandmothers Bridget (who would have guessed? LOL)
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2-05-2010 @ 8:35AM
AK25 said...I liked to say that whatever rings true to you when you say it outloud. I on the other hand tried not to name my two boys like anybody els in my family. Well my side, on my mothers side of the family, is about 102 total and growing, counting from my grandparents on down. So very difficult not to name my kids like any of my cousins or second cousins. Makes reunions very difficult when your trying to call one out. We chose what we liked first and then eliminated by what we could nit pick from each. Like nick name that could come of a name or even initals.
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2-05-2010 @ 8:29AM
Tonyeaka said...I don't think that having 2 middle names are bad due to the fact that my 9 year old's name is Deborah Mecca Michelle. Her first name is my mom and my grandmother' s cousin name, Mecca comes from the holy city of Islam due to the fact that my step-father is Muslim and Michelle comes from my cousin, her god-mother Michele. So don't worry yourself oln what people say hope you have a safe and blissful delivery. God Bless.
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2-05-2010 @ 8:34AM
Jaret said...How about Lyla Claramel? Or Lyla Melara? Just trying a little wordplay...
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2-05-2010 @ 8:37AM
serenity10 said...Fun topic. My daughter, who was adopted at the age of 3 months, has 3 middle names, and here's the reasoning: Wanted to finally have a grand daughter in the family who claimed and honored my mom's name, Anne (neither of my siblings did so with thier daughters, which was fine with my mom), as well as honor my daughter's heritage, which is Korean. The name she arrived with was Ah Yeong, which means Beautiful Flower, truly appropriate. Her dad got to choose her first name, since I had had that honor with our son 4 years earlier. So, Emilee Anne Ah Yeong came into our lives and hearts. The "ee" on the end of her first name was to acknowledge her Korean surname: Lee.
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2-05-2010 @ 9:41AM
Paula said...How beautiful. I thinks it's wonderful how you and your husband have honored her Korean heritage. Your daughter has a lovely name. Thank you for sharing your story.
2-05-2010 @ 8:40AM
Lauren said...How about that was a dumb comment about Mexicans. Shaking my head. There is one in every group!
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2-05-2010 @ 8:43AM
Maggie said...I say go for it i see alot of parents naming thier kids with double names, Im one of them i have a daughter her name is Heaven Leigh Ann ,Good Luck
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2-05-2010 @ 8:43AM
sunny said...Why not just name the kid Choose One From Column A and One From Column B?
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2-05-2010 @ 3:53PM
Maggie said...Just don't do to your kids what my parents did to my brother and me. To honor the paternal grandparents we were given their first names--which coincidentally were my parents' first names as well. From birth we were called by our middle names to avoid confusion. All my life I've had to explain that my legal name is thus-and-so, but I don't use that...
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2-05-2010 @ 8:56AM
rlt411 said...when we had our first grandson,our son and daughter- inlaw wanted to have thier deceased grandfathers names so they came up with;WILLIAM-JAMES DAVID:WILLIAM-JAMES as his first name and DAVID as his middle name.Both deceased grandfathers were honored and so was my sons dad!! everyone was happy!!!
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2-05-2010 @ 9:34AM
Beth said...Thank you for saying out loud that 2 middle names just for "style" purposes is not necessary. . Unless the names are family names, I think that the 3-name trend is a result of pretentious affectation. "They do it in Europe"--news flash, you't not royalty and you're not in Europe.
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2-05-2010 @ 11:45AM
Finkel said...It is quite OK anywhere on the planet to honor your heritage. Besides, you give your child more options to select a name that pleases them. After all, as a baby they have nothing to do with the selection!
2-05-2010 @ 9:02AM
LJ said...As funny as the long multiple name thing seems to everyone, just remember that in this age of computers, if the machine can't accept it, you are stuck. Recently, a woman was denied boarding a plane because the reservations computer could not accept her very long last name. Both my boys were given the middle name ( ONLY ONE)!! of a dear male relative. We wanted their first names to be their very own distinct name , not a shared family name. Yet we wanted a family connection for them. One family name as a middle name fits the bill.
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