A Parent's Dilemma: How to Handle a College Football Scholarship for a Seventh-Grader

by Mark Hyman (Subscribe to Mark Hyman's posts)
Feb 15th 2010 3:00PM

Filed under: Sports

Put yourself in the shoes of David and Denise Sills. Fair warning, this will take some doing.

For the most part, the Sillses are a typical family. They live in Wilmington, Delaware. They have three children, all teenagers.

The two oldest are girls. The youngest is 13-year-old David. He's in the seventh grade and plays quarterback on the middle school football team at the Red Lion Christian Academy.

Apparently, David is pretty good at football because something unheard of happened last week. The University of Southern California, a college football power, offered him a sports scholarship. Trojan coach Lane Kiffin made the proposal and, with his parents' blessing, David accepted.

There are a few strings, of course. First, David has to graduate from high school. Before that, he has to graduate from the seventh grade. If all goes as planned, David's first game in a USC uniform will be in 2015.
Granted, it's hard to imagine your 13-year-old getting home from school, slamming down his backpack and asking permission to accept a USC football scholarship. (When my sons were that age, the big sports questions at our kitchen table were: "Where's my uniform?" Followed by, "Is it washed?" )

But if it happened in your family, what would you do?

David and Denise Sills have taken some heat over their decision to let David become the Trojans quarterback of the (somewhat distant) future. As the story has been picked up by national media, they've been skewered for being pushy sports parents. One writer, Mark Saxon of ESPN Los Angeles quipped: "I was feeling as though I needed to take a shower after mulling Sills' verbal commitment."

David Sills III, the quarterback's dad, hasn't seemed bothered by the criticism. Recently he told ESPN.com: "For the people that don't like kids getting recruited early, if it was their kid what would they do?...The way I look at it if David was a phenomenal mathemetician and I held him back, wouldn't that be wrong?"

Maybe. But what if David were doing math problems at the Rose Bowl in front of 100,000 screaming fans? And Brent Musburger was barking out play-by-play? Isn't that a fairer comparison?

Experts in child development and youth sports say they worry how Sills will handle the spotlight. Even more troubling to some is what the story of a 13-year-old playing footsie with a college football coach says about the state of youth sports in general.

"We're robbing children of their childhood," warns Richard Ginsburg, a sport psychologist who treats youth athletes and their families at Boston's Massachusetts General Hospital, in an interview with ParentDish.

"The sports industry has become tailored to giving children the hope that they have a chance to be scouted and picked. There are so many things that can go wrong: Overuse injuries, burnout, stress. Putting young bodies and minds into that kind of situation, they're just not ready for it.," says Ginsburg, co-author of Whose Game is It, Anyway? a book that helps parents navigate youth sports.

Much of the medical establishment agrees about those risks. This month, the American Academy of Pediatrics sent out its latest warning. AAP's Committee on Sports Medicine and Fitness reissued a caution first published in 2000: It reads: "Children involved in sports should be encouraged to participate in a variety of different activities and develop a wide range of skills. Young athletes who specialize in just one sport may be denied the benefits of varied activity while facing additional demands from intense training and competition."

Time will tell how David Sills deals with the challenges ahead of him. Not everyone in youth sports sees what's he's doing as a disaster. Some think it actually might work out.

Linda Petlichkoff, a sport psychology consultant and professor of Kinesiology at Boise State University, says her only reservation is whether David's dream truly belongs to him.

"Are these goals actually his goals or his dad's goals?" she says in an interview with ParentDish. "If they're his, I don't think anybody should say yay, nay or put up roadblocks. That's what life's about. Set your goals ands strive for them."

Ginsburg is more skeptical. "Five years from now, maybe it's a success story. Maybe all the stars align. But he's a superstar at 13. I'm afraid the only way to go is down."

ParentDish sports reporter Mark Hyman is the author of Until It Hurts: America's Obsession With Youth Sports and How It Harms our Kids (Beacon Press). Have a suggestion for an article on youth sports? Contact Mark at pdyouthsports@aol.com.

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ReaderComments (Page 7 of 10)

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2-17-2010 @ 9:21AM

zorin99 said...

I don't know if I particularly agree with the pressure placed on a boy that young. After all kids should be able to enjoy their childhood. That was my first thought before watching the footage of him playing. I have got to say though that I have never seen a 13 y/o show so much skill as this young man showed at such an early age. The accurracy of his throws was ridiculous! So the question is do you deny the obvious talent this young man possesses or do you groom him for greatness? I think that is a question best answered by his parents because they are the ones to best answer that along with him when he gets older. As long as the parents don't get carried away and keep his well being and development up front I think that the whole situation could be very beneficial.

2-17-2010 @ 10:33AM

Ronnieaaron1220 said...

personally I would not commit to USC expecting to play for Lane Kiffin,look what he did at Tennesee,pulled up in the middle of the night and left without notice.I think that preping a QB at that age is dead on,but to commit to college at that age is ridicious,he may have some other college he may want to attend at a later age,let him make that decision................

2-17-2010 @ 10:01AM

RonM said...

The question is, "why would USC do this?" It looks like nothing more than a publicity stunt for their new coach. I would love to see this kid turn out to be an average HS QB (or less) and show up at USC looking for them to honor their offer. Hope the coach's verbal commitment to the kid is better than his commitment to U.Tenn.

2-17-2010 @ 9:29AM

Denny W. Kelly said...

This effects this young man and his parents, only. What they decide is not really anyone's concern/business. Is it premature, probably however does not create any chest pains or anxiety attacks for me personally. Most everyone in today's society desires to be in other's lives and second guess what they do. Give it a break!

2-17-2010 @ 9:28AM

originlcin said...

It sounds like the coaches are under pressure to snap up hot commodities. If he doesn't grab this kid now, some other school will. The coach is there to advance his employers' interests. The parents are supposed to have the kids' best interests at heart. I hope they don't start believing what every scout tells them over the next few years. P.S. Maybe the kid will make some plans of his own.

geomcd said...

I'd say it's that family's decision.

2-17-2010 @ 9:37AM

cowgirlrocks said...

Way to go, kid!!! The only thing I found "wrong" with this whole story is why the hell USC didn't recruit David's receiver along with him!

2-17-2010 @ 9:35AM

Pat said...

All the people who are whining about this - are they going to pay the kid's college tuition instead? He's not going to USC now. He's going when he's ready. I think the parents would have been remiss not to agree to the deal.

2-17-2010 @ 9:36AM

bj said...

all this has done is to put a gigantic 'target' and bullseye on this kid's back . from now til he graduates , every team and every defensive player will want to make their chops by taking him down . and the trash talk he will have to put up with on the field will be over the top .

JT4UA said...

Total and complete parental stupidity. It is typical of the silliness of Lane Kiffin but one would think that the parents might be a bit more stable and not showboats and attention seekers like Kiffin. One thing is almost certain, since Kiffin has yet to win a signature game as a head coach anywhere, it is doubtful that he will be at USC in the year 2015, If so, USC will be so deep into NCAA violations that the poor kid will never see a bowl game or any chance of a National Championship...

2-17-2010 @ 9:41AM

lbrentnj said...

13 and 14 year old girls compete for Gold Medals (gymnastics, skating) in front of more than 1 billion people world wide and that is the norm. Their lives are totally dedicated to the sport to the extent that many do not go to high school...

2-17-2010 @ 9:49AM

cowboyp97dc said...

I just don't understand this at all. Is USC really this hard up for a QB? I know that they have had a rough couple of seasons and key games here and there that kept them form the big game- but really?? I could understand an offer for a freshman highschool QB who just lead his team to a state championship- but a MIDDLE SCHOOL QB from a private Academy? He may be very good- or the teams he is playing make him look really good. I don't know how things are in Wilmington, Delaware but where I grew up you don't play tough teams in middle school and private christian schools don't play large public highschools who are in tougher divisions. Basically if the FS are sluggish and your reciever is faster than the coverage guy all you have to do is throw it up for grabs over and over and over- plus all you need is a 5 yard pass that the reciever runs for 50 yards and you have a 55 yard pass. Its easy for a middle schooler to have padded stats- thats why colleges with any reasoning recruit from top ranked highschool teams with state titles under their belts. Wait until the kid hits highschool and see how he performes with a good pass rush and coverage guys who had to earn their spots. I feel sorry for the kid really- its going to be a BIG downer if he can't perform once he is against tougher teams.

2-17-2010 @ 11:24AM

Maurice said...

What is the big deal. They complain about basketball players from highschool going straight to the pros, but who has the right to say that someone's child can't change his, and probably his entire families life by signing a contract, if it works out.

I personally disagree with them going, because they should get that college education if possible, and really learn the game. There are very few like Kobie and Lebron, most of them jump around from team to team then end up in Europe. Most have money issues down the line.

Even though I disagree, they have the right to make that decision. If they weigh the odds, between obtaining a 4 yr degree, and if they are lucky to come out of college and get a job, they might start at 40 - 50 thousand a year. A very good salary for anyone, but many times they might not find a job right away. Compare that to a minimum salary for a bench player of half a million. You can't honestly say that someone should turn it down, expecially if it is for something they love.

So many get a job, or take up a profession that they don't love, but pays pretty well or has job security. I know many doctors and lawyers personally that left the profession after many years to become photographers, painters, etc. Making far far less money, but obtaining happiness.

I watched this kid on the film, and he didn't impress me actually, but the college obviously saw something great in him. Why not give someone an opportunity. Most colleges require grades to stay on the team anyway, so they players are forced to, at least, perform the minimum in class.

All the father needs to be attentive to is that his remain a kid. Punishments, being yelled at for kids stuff, just like every other parent does, and he will be allright. LOL

2-17-2010 @ 9:58AM

Jim said...

To any person with a synapse that's still firing and hasn't been taken in by all the false claims about the value of sports, this is nothing short of disgusting. When are people going to realize that the sports industry, now invading middle school, simply takes young and vulnerable kids in, chews them up, then spits them out in order to win games? That's it. That's the reality. That's the truth. That's all there is. I pray that someday this country will stop bowing down at the alter of the NFL, whose players are literally allowed to get away with rape and murder, and realize there are more important things our children must learn.

2-17-2010 @ 10:12AM

SDemt said...

Are you saying that this child has only football going for him? We don't know! While athletics is over emphasized in our culture - especially football at USC- this child may be self motivated & keen to get a full ride. He can always quit & not honor his side of the verbal should he change his mind about football & go on to USC or any school based on other merits. In the meantime, he has a spot at a school that costs $50,000 a year plus (just finished paying the tuition) & a guaranteed spot at a school that is academically excellent & has 250 applicants for every spot. Not too bad for him!

2-17-2010 @ 9:56AM

Ray Smithson said...

whaa whaa whaa,,, it's only money,, quit whining it isn't your kid

2-17-2010 @ 9:55AM

r said...

I was a freshman in high school when i was 13

2-17-2010 @ 11:35AM

mfsgal said...

And your point is???????????

2-17-2010 @ 10:22AM

Outlaw Josey Wales said...

It's wrong, the kid is only 13. If the kid really wants to go to USC, then he can still wait til his senior year of HS and then make the pledge. Another example of parents letting their kids rule the roost instead of learning patience and learning to follow guidelines and rules.

2-17-2010 @ 10:04AM

dave3chevy said...

Shaq was recruited by Dale Brown around the same age. Dale Brown was lauded for his ability to spot talent. Kiffin is doing the same thing, and LS is correct that verbals are broken all the time.

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A Parent's Dilemma: How to Handle a College Football Scholarship for a Seventh-Grader