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Debbie Phelps Chats About Highs and Lows as Mom of an Olympic Legend
Filed under: Sports
Debbie Phelps with her Olympian son Michael and her daughters Hilary and Whitney. Credit: Laisee Rintel
ParentDish recently caught up with Debbie Phelps, mother of gold medal swimmer Michael Phelps, to chat about parenting at poolside. Her daughters Hilary and Whitney also were elite swimmers.In her book, "A Mother for All Seasons," Debbie, a middle school principal near Baltimore, opens up about her life. In a recent interview with ParentDish, she spoke about happy and challenging times. An edited version of the conversation follows.
ParentDish: What goals did you have for your children when they started swimming?
Debbie Phelps: I just wanted them to enjoy what they were doing. I wanted them to succeed. I wanted to set the bar high for them, so they would continuously strive.
PD: In your book, you write about "excesses" of swim parents. What were you referring to?
DP: I've had parents say to me, "My child has this many trophies and ribbons but they want to stop swimming." The parent doesn't want them to stop. If Michael didn't love the sport, would he have been able to execute the performance he did in 2008? I'm not a coach. But as a parent, I don't think so.
PD: What advice would you give to parents hoping their child will make the Olympics, even be the next Michael Phelps?
DP: This is just Debbie talking. But my goal was never for Michael to be an Olympian. That was never even a thought in my head. That was Michael's goal.
P: In your book, you write about your own children having setbacks in swimming. One example is Whitney's struggles with injuries and an eating disorder.
DP: I never had two children in the same pool. I had three different athletes going three different places every night. I wasn't the one seeing Whitney in a suit all the time. I'd pick her up from practice. They [girls on the team] had on their flannel bottoms and hoodies. So I didn't detect that eating disorder. Shame on me as a mother. Whitney's goal was to make the 1996 Olympic team [a goal she fell short of]. She was going to do everything she could to become faster. Instead, it was a detriment to her health and performance.
PD: After the high points at the 2008 Olympics, Michael has had some low ones, too. Some parents reading this probably will be wondering: Was Debbie angry with Michael last February? [when a photo surfaced of Michael smoking from a marijuana pipe].
DP: Disappointed, but not angry. When I speak to groups, the first question I ask is: Has anyone here ever made a mistake? Because there isn't anyone on the face of the earth who has never made one. It just so happens some people's mistakes get broadcast through the media while others do not. We all do things that are foolish. But they are life lessons. That's how we grow.
ParentDish sports reporter Mark Hyman is the author of "Until It Hurts: America's Obsession With Youth Sports and How It Harms Our Kids" (Beacon Press).
Have a suggestion for an article on youth sports? Contact Mark at pdyouthsports@aol.com.
Related: Kearney Wins Gold, Ohno Scores Silver - Olympic Weekend Highlights
ParentDish sports reporter Mark Hyman is the author of "Until It Hurts: America's Obsession With Youth Sports and How It Harms Our Kids" (Beacon Press).
Have a suggestion for an article on youth sports? Contact Mark at pdyouthsports@aol.com.
Related: Kearney Wins Gold, Ohno Scores Silver - Olympic Weekend Highlights
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ReaderComments (Page 3 of 5)
2-17-2010 @ 12:06PM
Mairzie said...Cut Michael a break. His life in unlike any that most of us can imagine. He has been so diciplined and regimented all his life that he tried something new (like many people his age and younger do). He knows it was a misstep, and he has paid the price. Now think... if you, or your kids were followed 24 hours a day by newsmen and photographers, how many of you could last for months on end without doing something dopey and/or regrettable...?
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2-17-2010 @ 12:06PM
carlton wilson said...Alice...Phelps has "proved he has a drug problem"? Geez, get real.
Marijuana, contrary to several uninformed opinions given in this forum, is not physically addictive, but alcohol is, and yet, alcohol is perfectly legal. 90% of all violent felons report having been under the influence of booze at the time of their crime...90%! And you honestly think that Phelps should be given "prison time"? Really?
Phelps is the greatest living athlete on the planet. If he "had a drug problem", his respiratory health would have prohibited him from having achieved his unprecedented success.
I don't think that Alice is knowledgeable enough to have an objective opinion on this topic.
The fact that the greatest athlete on the planet smokes weed should not be a bad reflection on him, but rather a good reflection on weed smokers, who have been demonized for political reasons for far too long.
Legalize marijuana and it will create jobs and a brand new tax base, meanwhile eliminating the cost of prosecution and correctional housing for those charged with selling/possessing the harmless plant matter. It's a win/win no-brainer.
I will agree with Alice on one thing however, Michael Vick got off too easy and should never be allowed to play NFL Football again. His crime(s) had actual victims who suffered as a consequence of his savagery.
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2-17-2010 @ 12:28PM
jeff said...Obviously he can swim, but any interview I watched with him he seemed somewhat of a dope. If it wasn't strictly about swimming he was lacking. Some how I think he will survive the pot incident with a major intervention tie-ing him to a bed for a year and severe beatings.
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2-17-2010 @ 12:31PM
Green said...way to raise a piece of human garbage stoner. better luck next time!
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2-17-2010 @ 12:37PM
jay said...Green, you're in the complete category.
2-17-2010 @ 12:33PM
jay said...Amazing,out of the first 39 comments, only 3 complete morons,& a couple of regular morons. Debbie sounds like a great mom to me. Michael is lucky to have her.
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2-17-2010 @ 12:43PM
jeff said...I'll push my luck............your off the hook.
2-17-2010 @ 12:56PM
Chelly said...She is a woman who against all odds helped her son by encouraging him. See what a little encouragement from parents to a child can result in??? Greatness... in whatever their talents lie. Their talents may not make them a household name but it can propell them into greatness in whatever sphere of influence they are in.
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2-17-2010 @ 12:47PM
alx said...In the famous words of Todd Snider. "Maybe we missed judged that guy, well maybe you miss judged bong hits 8 gold medals that's all I'm saying."
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2-17-2010 @ 12:49PM
Stanley said...It is time for the red necks and religious fanatics to get it right. Marijuana is not a dangerous drug and should have been legalized long ago. The only reason Marijuana was made illegal was because Randolph Hust was worried that hemp would be bad for his forest products, since hemp makes better paper, cloth, and is a lot cheaper to grow. The rich people screwed us then, and they are still doing it today. In fact, the biggest drug problem in this country is with the legal drugs, which doctors push, so maybe we should put the doctors in jail....if justice prevails, that is.
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2-17-2010 @ 1:20PM
Theresababe24 said...He is a 20-something year old guy who experimented with pot. SO WHAT? Plenty of people experiment and make mistakes at that age. He has been working his tail off since he was a little kid to achieve his goals and he has done it! Because of his accomplishments, his mistakes end up in the media. There are many kids who experiment with alchohol and pot at that age and then they are done with it. An Olympic and World champion is not sitting around all day smoking pot. He went to a party and smoked a joint. SO WHAT! If you trained for 12 hours a days for umpteen years and now have a little down time, you would party too! The difference is, people would not be taking photos of you and selling them to the media!
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2-17-2010 @ 1:17PM
Susan said...Alice,
Do we KNOW he has a drug problem? I tried pot once does that make me have a drug problem? I have had a few drinks in my life does that make me have a drinking problem? I agree that people should be held accountable, but if I remember correctly, the incident was while he was participating in the Olympics, it was during a "down time". He was punished, also, if I remember correctly from participating for awhile. We have people who commit far worse crimes and get hardly any punishment.
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2-17-2010 @ 1:25PM
Bugs Bunny said...Hopefully, he doesn't hunt rabbits with an elephant gun.
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2-17-2010 @ 1:40PM
BUTTON said..."JUDGE NOT LEST YE BE JUDGED."
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2-17-2010 @ 1:42PM
MICKEY said...I agree. Saying "mistake" is just smoke and mirrors. This mother knows damn well it was no mistake, although I'm sure she would like to think it was and says it was a "mistake" in order to do damage control for her son.
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2-19-2010 @ 8:40PM
joe said...DEBBI PHELPS, YOU WERE AND ARE A GUIDING LIGHT FOR YOUR CHILDREN.
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2-19-2010 @ 9:18PM
dave said...Failure as a parent? Shove it lady>>>
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2-19-2010 @ 9:20PM
dave said...I love it...
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2-19-2010 @ 9:42PM
Palmer said...Wake up people! It does not take a mother and father to raise a child as proven all the time. Just cuz he got caught on camera doing a doober, doesn't make him a drug addict....BUT the biggest mistake the mom made was NOT fixin her son's teeth!
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2-19-2010 @ 9:24PM
mg said...He shouldn't have appologized for anything. He was off season and having a good time. I doubt any endorsements he lost over the issue were going to come back. He might have even picked up a few if he told people to get off his back and get a life.
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