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Schools: Would You Grind On The Dance If Grandma Were Watching?
Filed under: In The News
It's difficult to grind to Burt Bacharach -- or at least one West Hollywood high school hopes so.
A recent threat by Pacific Hills School to turn up the lights and play Bacharach's music is just one indication that adults are fed up with suggestive dancing -- otherwise known as "grinding" or "freaking" -- at school dances, MSNBC reports.
Schools across the nation are canceling dances, requiring students to sign agreements that spell out acceptable dancing techniques and behavior and asking students to get their groove on as if "Grandma is watching" -- all thanks to a pervasive dancing style in which partners simulate sexual acts to the beat.
The dancing isn't the only issue, school administrators say. Short skirts, lingerie-style outfits and "inappropriate touching" are also on the radar. Seattle's Nathan Hale High School postponed its winter semi-formal after an incident at the school's homecoming celebration.Before students were allowed to have another dance, principal Jill Hudson asked students to propose a plan for appropriate dance conduct. Now, students who attend the school's semi-formal (scheduled for March) will have to sign a contract stating that they won't engage in "lewd contact." Those who do will get a warning after one offense and will be kicked out of the dance after the second.
Students at Aliso Niguel High School in Aliso Viejo, Calif., also need to sign a contract forbidding them to grind, wear garters, excessively short skirts or other visible lingerie. Also forbidden? Removing your shirt. Go figure.
"The sexual nature of the dancing just seemed to be increasing," principal Charles Salter tells MSNBC, adding that this kind of behavior isn't limited to his school. "One school found condoms on the floor."
Minnetonka High School in Minnesota ditched the contracts and instead engaged in tongue-in-cheek campaign it calls "Dance Like Grandma's Watchin'."
Principal David Adney tells MSNBC that invoking Grandma gets teens in their gut: Kids may not care about annoying their parents, but still want their grandmothers' respect. The school crafted a series of videos for the campaign, including one where a student is rejected from Harvard College because of a grinding incident.
Adney says the campaign works.
"It's about creating a culture of respect and inclusion," he tells the news station. Here's one video from the campaign:
Is grinding just good, clean fun or are schools doing the right thing by cracking down on suggestive dancing?
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ReaderComments (Page 2 of 3)
2-19-2010 @ 4:26PM
mamita said...Wonder why the teenage pregnancy rate is so high?
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2-19-2010 @ 4:27PM
tictac said...I didn't read a whole bunch of the comments, but the one thing I noticed is that nobody is saying anything about the parents. Why aren't the PARENTS involved in seeing to it that their children behave in a socially acceptable manner. It seems to me that people have kids and expect everybody else to raise them. I hate to say it, but it is not up to the school to do this. It is the parents' responsibility. It is a shame that the schools have to step in and take up the slack - not like they don't have enough to do already. PARENTS!!!!! BE PARENTS!!!!!!
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2-19-2010 @ 4:52PM
Peggy Harris said...I agree with the school having guidelines for the dances. I think the students need to show respect and dance appropriately. They can have a good time without dancing suggestively. It is a privelege and not a right to attend a dance. If they don't like the rules, they don't have to go to the dance. It also shows respect if they dress modestly. I am not a prude. I just believe in old fashioned values that have not gone out of style.
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2-19-2010 @ 5:02PM
Michael said...As a Parent, I do not see where it is any off the schools business how my children dance. If I think it is inappropate I will tell my children so.
just because some people think something is inmoral does not me everyone thinks the same way..keep your moral views to yourself as they do not agree with mine..
welcome to america land of the free no more!!!
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2-19-2010 @ 5:16PM
Penny said...I don't think that freedom has anything to do with it. I sincerely doubt that you would know if your child was mimicing the act of copulation on any dance floor if they didn't want you to know about it. And as to your statement "I do not see where it is any off the schools business how my children dance." It is the school that is hosting and/or sponsoring the dance in question.
2-19-2010 @ 5:59PM
Paula said...Michael, you can't be serious. First of all, learn English.
Secondly, it is the school's business because the school is hosting it, and doesn't need your promiscuous (or promiscuous wannabe) children defiling their event by pretending to have sex. Schools have a code of conduct, because the children obviously didn't have one of their own when they came in. As a parent (and presumably, a taxpayer, but stop me if I'm wrong) you should become more aware of what's going on in your child's school.
2-19-2010 @ 5:16PM
Amy Rosenberg said...Maybe we can get boys to pull their pants up. I am so sick of seeing boys underwear and crack.
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2-19-2010 @ 5:09PM
beck said...First of all, I'm a parent to a high school and a middle school aged girls-I teach my daughters morals, respect for themselves and others and I do not allow them to dress or act like 20-something club whores.
That being said, I am also not naive to think that they "would never do anything" I object to when I'm not around and they're with their peers. It is a concerted effort on both parents and school authority for the welfare of the children-especially on school property.
I am not a prude-middle/high school (my daughters included) students can grow up and wear/dance/o anything in the scope of our laws that they want. But that's just it-as grown-ups not juveniles, adolescents, age of minority.
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2-19-2010 @ 5:21PM
dsamg2002 said...Don't show Elvis below the waist. It is all perceived nonsense. No generation believes the next generation is doing anything right. Let the kids dance!
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2-19-2010 @ 5:23PM
lasagnaxxxvii said...tictac, you seem to be one of the only people here with any sense at all. Aside from a few others, it seems a lot of people are ok with this type of behavior, and I wonder how "ok" they would be if their teenage daughter became pregnant or teenage son got a girl pregnant. If it's ok for them to grind and simulate sex on the dance floor at school, what do they allow them to do at home? And I agree, a lot of parents have given up their authority and relied too much on the education system to teach their kids values and morals. I work at an elementary school, and have met many parents who simply do not discipline their children or blame the school for their kids' bad behavior. I have talked to kids who are allowed to watch R rated movies in kindergarten, and the newest thing is called "jerking" where the 5th grade girls "shake their booties" and give lap dances to the 5th grade boys, on the school bus, for Pete's sake. A good friend of mine has custody of her grandchildren, and her granddaughter is eight years old, and refers to singers and actors on TV as "hot". I find that totally unacceptable, and didn't hesitate to let her know. I had to stop letting my daughter hang out with this kid because she makes sexual references, doesn't listen to her guardian or other relatives, and is a sneaky little girl. She cut my daughter's waist-length hair behind her back, out of jealousy, no doubt, and had no consequences for her behavior. When they were five years old, this girl pushed my daughter to the ground, tried to kiss her on the mouth and said, "Let's do sex." So I had to talk to my five year old about the birds and the bees, when I would have been fine to let it go for a few more years. The state of the country is bad enough as it is, let alone encouraging kids to behave however they want, whenever they want. These are the people who will be running our country when we are old, and frankly, that scares the hell out of me. To go one step further and risk all the rude comments I'm sure to get from saying this, I think things started getting out of hand in the 80's when parents' right to discipline their kids was taken away, and now parents are so afraid to swat their kids on the butt, the kids run the households. Let me just add that in Ohio, they have rethought that stupid law and you have every right to discipline your children, they even go as far to say you can use a belt, paddle, or switch, although my hand has always worked just fine. Check with your local CSB to find out what the guidelines are in your state, and when your little angels threaten to call the police when you swat their asses, you can laugh them all the way to the phone, because no one is coming.
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2-19-2010 @ 5:46PM
David S. said...lasagna -- if you take the word of a 5-year-old that they are watching "R" rated movies in kindergarten, that speaks volumes about your mentality. So only girls who go to these dances end up pregnant? You live in a fantasy land of your own design. Enjoy.
2-19-2010 @ 7:50PM
J said...Ditto well written...I also work at a middle school and am a mother of 12 children. 11 are adopted. I can not afford anymore children, so please parents stop encouraging young children to cross the line into adult actions and decisions before they are prepared to except the consequences. FYI constructive corporal punishment is not illegal in the state of Florida either. If you doubt me look it up.
The thing that impresses me most about America is the way
parents obey their children.
Edward, Duke of Windsor
2-19-2010 @ 5:27PM
Brad said...Ah, America is becoming such a great country. I can't wait to see what's coming next.
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2-19-2010 @ 5:58PM
Dan said...Does anyone actually believe that banning certain dance moves in the school is going to discourage teens from engaging in sex? Don't delude yourself
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2-19-2010 @ 6:10PM
Paula said...I don't think anybody thinks that, but does anyone actually think that schools should let kids run amok and do whatever they please? Don't delude yourself.
2-19-2010 @ 6:06PM
Becca said...I'm no prude but I was shocked recently to see 12 year olds at a birthday party do what amounted to lap dances. The boys were sitting and the girls shook their rears over them. It's a shame they've even seen anything like that to mimic.
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2-19-2010 @ 6:38PM
geomcd said...Some of you who are making light of this need to look at the number of high school pregnancies. Is there a link? I think so.
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2-19-2010 @ 6:53PM
Jeanne said...We have four adult children, 3 boys and a girl. My husband has one drink with his dinner every night and always has. (usually beer or wine)
On the rare occasions when one of the children asked to take a taste, he would let them. We made no big deal about it at the time and they seldom asked for a second sip. Sometimes they would even say how awful it was.
We did talk to them, at other times, about how drinking to excess can ruin your health and cause death and injury to yourself and others, especially while driving. Several people they knew, as they got older, had horrible accidents, as well.
My father was a week-end drinker and I sometimes told the kids
how sad it was for us to see him that way, even though he didn't drive or become angry. He was always a gentleman, but sometimes a very drunk one. Dad would surely be sick before it was all over, but he'd be off to work on Monday.
None of our kids are drinkers and one told us because he had a taste at a young age, it was a part of life and not a mystery that he couldn't wait to try when he went out or to college.
Another of our sons organized a "Safe Rides" group in high school. The members were on duty to give rides home to any student who was out and felt that he had too much to drink. They would call them and get rides and their cars taken home, no questions asked and no reports to anyone.
This worked for our family. I hope it works for others.
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2-19-2010 @ 6:52PM
Donald Bowers said..."Grandma's rule . . . there is an international robotics program called FIRST that as part of its ethos and values system is what is termed "Gracious Professionalism" . . . PG is defined by its creator as behaving all the time as if your Grandmother was watching and you would want to make her proud. Dirty dancing does not make a grandmother proud of her grandchildren - the behaviors of the youth of today has been created through the culture that our society has created and embraces . . . that is underminding our future . . . the unreal "reality" shows, most TV shows, movies, magazines, books are full of sex, violence, indisgrestions, and plain rude and inappropriate behaviors - so what is a kid to do. It is the adult culture - not the kids - that needs to clean up its act . . . the kids are just imitating what they see all around them 24/7 . . . 365! May the God of us all save us from ourselves . . .
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2-19-2010 @ 6:55PM
Michelle Hirt said...This totally makes me sick. I work in a high school and have threatened to throw ice water on students. The reason they act like this is because there are few consequences. It has somehow become acceptable behavior. They watch all this crap on tv, movies and on the internet. Let them have a few months with the nuns that we grew up with in Catholic schools.
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