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How Young Is Too Young For Beer, Cell Phones and Piercings?
Filed under: In The News, Research Reveals: Big Kids, Research Reveals: Tweens, Research Reveals: Teens
What age is the right age to let kids have things like cell phones and see R-rated movies? Credit: Getty Images
Have a beer with Mom or Dad? No way! How about an after-school part-time job? Sure, no problem! So says a new ABC News/Good Morning America Weekend poll that looked at parental constraints on teens' activities.
The poll, part of an upcoming "Good Morning America" series "How Young is Too Young?", examined parental attitudes about activities as wide-ranging as the proper age for piercing a girl's ears (that would be 9) to using social media. The results show that Mom and Dad keep a close eye on their teens and also exercise some significant parental control.
Of the parents polled, most define 15 as the age at which childhood ends and young adulthood begins, but a significant portion (one-third) say kids are kids until they turn 17 -- and those parents tend to be more restrictive.
So just what gets parents' knickers in a twist? Credit cards for teens, attending unsupervised parties and girls who stay out past 11 p.m., all of which were deemed inappropriate for kids under the age of 17.
The biggest no-nos, according to parents, are having a glass of beer or wine at a family event or meal (76 percent rule it out), and 71 percent say they would never give their kids a credit card. Nearly as many -- 69 percent -- say it is never OK to let a minor attend a party that is unsupervised by adults.
Other forbidden activities include: unsupervised dating (54 percent say no for their girls, and 49 percent for their sons); social networking accounts (43 percent rule them out), unsupervised Internet use (37 percent say no) and 36 percent say it is never acceptable for a minor to see an R-rated movie, even with a parent.
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The poll also looked at when and if parents would initiate a conversation with their kids about two hot-button issues: money and sex. Twenty-six percent of parents say they would not discuss the family finances with their children, but when it comes to sex, they are significantly more open. Only 5 percent rule out the old birds-and-bees talk, and most agree that talking about sex should begin at age 13 for a boy and 12 for a girl.
What ranks low on the scale of parental concerns? Girls getting their ears pierced (only 10 percent forbid it) and having a cell phone (11 percent nix that idea). Other acceptable activities for teens include walking or biking around their neighborhoods alone and having a part-time job.
The most permissive parents polled tended to be white, affluent and well-educated. On the flip side, parents who identified themselves as having strong religious faith tended to be more restrictive. Moms and dads are about equal when it comes to limiting kids' activities.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 2)
2-19-2010 @ 2:25PM
yesiam said...Parents, think back to what YOU did as a teen. Now realize this, your kids will probably do exactly the same things.
I realized this fact when my daughter was in her teens. I told her when alcohol enters the picture things get a little crazy. I gave her the chance to drink a glass of wine so she could feel how quickly it affected her system. I told her that she had to be the one responsible in a drinking situation, and to moderate things. I also told her when in social situations to NEVER finish a drink she left unattended, even if a "friend" was watching it for her. People, and "friends" are included, spike drinks all the time. I had it happen to me. In this day and age, any person who leaves his or her drink unattended and comes back and finishes that drink, is playing Russian Roulette. Better to waste the price of a drink than to risk date rape or worse.
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2-19-2010 @ 2:40PM
Jennifer said...As far as the 'not having a beer or wine at a family gathering,' I understand it's up to the parents. But here's my take on MY parents' method.
When I was younger, I would occassionally ask my dad for a sip of the beer he was having, starting at age 5 actually. He never denied me that sip (while holding and tipping the can himself so I'd only get a taste), and while I never developed a taste for it, it took the mystery out of what it was for me. It was the same thing with my mother and wine or liquor at the family gatherings and out to dinner at restaurants. Granted, they were a little more restrictive when we went out to eat at a restaurant - only so many dirty looks a waiter can give you before you start to feel awkward, I guess.
I also come from a large Greek family on my mother's side, so drinking something with a meal (but not everytime) is not so odd to me either. But when I was younger, I think it was because I knew what beer and other alcohol tasted like - and what it was - that I was able to deny the stuff at parties, because I'd had certain kinds of alcohol before and I knew what I liked and didn't like (regardless of what the other kids believed).
I believe I'll continue my parents' method with my future children as well: don't deny the kids a taste if they want it, but make them understand that they are only allowed a taste (when they're younger). And that it's only okay to drink it at home or at a family gathering where there's someone you know you can trust with your life (when they are older and better able to understand what alcohol can do to you until they hit 21). Hey if it kept me and my two party-hardy brothers from succumbing to the pressure of friends bugging us about it, I say give it a try. But it's completely up to you.
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2-19-2010 @ 3:13PM
Meagan said...Thanks for you remarks on drinking when you were young. I'd forgotten that my parents,grandparents and uncle did the same with me. When it came to deciding to drink at parties when I was young I decided against it. I just didn't see the point,and since the mystery of how it tasted was gone,I didn't feel the need to explore it.
I often worry about what will happen when my kids become teens. I now live in Denmark,a country where a large number are alcoholics,though they'd never admit it. I see even adults drinking like they're never getting another drink again,pounding them back one after the next. There seems to be no such thing as drinking in moderation here. My Danish friends say the same,so it's not just me and my American thinking. Here,the age of drinking is 15,which is way too young,in my opinion,especially it seems that the parents don't teach their children HOW to drink. The kids just mimic their parents and really end up hurting themselves. Also,just because the legal drinking age is 15,kids,as young as 11 have been known to be able to walk out of a store with alcohol they just bought.
My husband and I have often talked about how we're going to teach out children. We don't want to just say"don't drink because I said so". We want to teach them what drinking is about,how to drink responsibly,what can happen if you drink heavily,explain that death can happen from drinking,and not just because you were in a car with a drunk driver,but that the actual act of drinking can kill you if you aren't careful. We want to arm our children with all the knowledge about drinking,drugs,smoking,sex etc as we can so they have a chance to make an educated decision instead of just going with the peer pressure. I will now also add letting them taste small amounts of alcohol when they're young to the list of things we plan to do. Hopefully,like it did for me,it will take the mystery out of it.
2-19-2010 @ 4:17PM
Linda said...Jennifer -- I totally agree with you, my parents did the same with me and I never really developed a taste for liquor. I did drink some wine in early adulthood, but have since stopped all alcohol. Curiously, my parents were both heavy drinkers; and each had significant health problems because of their habit. Seeing the effects of excess alcohol use was perhaps the best reason for stopping drinking permanently.
2-22-2010 @ 3:35PM
Katie said...You are soo right!!! In Greek families, letting children have wine at meals sometimes is considered okay. I should know, I am Greek.
2-19-2010 @ 3:05PM
justcertifiable said...I was able to sip my parents drinks ever since I can remember, and I did it with my kids as well. When they reached the legal age to drink, I felt that they were more responsible with alcohol thanthe kids that it was new experience to have drinks. And no my kids did not grow uo to be alcoholics.
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2-19-2010 @ 3:12PM
brntbree said...Never let kids watch rated R movies under age 17.. You have to be kidding.. It should depend on the movie. The Passion of the Christ is rated 'R', and churches often took groups, kids included, to watch it. Every child is different. As far as the alcohol usage goes, my parents let me have a glass of wine or two when i was younger as well as tasting my dads beer. Never caused me any problems, I drink a couple of drinks, maybe 3 times a year.
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2-19-2010 @ 5:05PM
Fran said...Churches actually take kids to see that gorefest? I'd sooner let my 14-year-old watch a movie with an explicit sex scene than something as explicitly violent as "The Passion of the Christ." I guess some evangelical groups will go to any lengths to make sure they get their hooks into the kids at an early enough age to brainwash them.
2-19-2010 @ 3:18PM
Ben said...I had sips of wine when I was a teen have it every now and then not much of a drinker not my thing at all. I can't drink beer because I have alleries when I 3 years old I couldn't ever touch the stuff. I see no problem to let teens have just a sip/taste of wine or beer.
As for R rated movies I have no problem with that either I was pretty young when I got to see R rated movies I was watching them with my parents When Harry Met Sally, Pretty Women there may have been more but those are the only two that I know of I was 8 or 9 years old when Harry Met Sally I know I was 10 when Pretty Women came out. I think that would be the time I would let the kids watch some R rated movies by the time 12 or 13 they can watch as many R rated movies as they want.
I believe if kids & Teens know right from wrong then you will not have many problems just my opinion.
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2-20-2010 @ 10:07AM
km1qb said...I was raised with the concept that if my mother did it, then she wasn't going to be hypicritical and tell me I couldn't do it. But, she made sure that I tried things at home first. Not only was I well informed on the effects & responsibilities, but also the consequences. I think because of that I didn't have the normal reaction to drinking, drugs, etc. I'm not an addict or alcoholic, never have been. I treat my children the same way my mother did me. My daughter 17 & my middle boy 14 both have tried sips of of various alcoholic beverages while with me & family. Neither of them see the need to drink really & most times don't even like the taste of the drinks. I also have an 8yr old boy but he isn't allowed to try anything yet, too young. I believe we are taking away the curiousity that children have about these things. It's either we, the parents, teach them or let other children & people you don't know or trust teach them. Take your pick...
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2-19-2010 @ 4:52PM
Rebecca said...It's funny to see how many parents voted against a lot of these things, and then knowing a lot of them would like to parent that way but don't. I'm not saying anyone is a bad parent or anything but I graduated high school 2 years ago and I know what these teens did and didn't do. When I was in 7th grade there were at least 3 girls pregnant and those 3 weren't allowed to watch Rated R movies but were allowed to have sex. That seemed more then odd to me. Like Ben I was watching R rated movies at a young age but I was taught right from wrong. I also don't think any of these kids need cell phones because at least 50 teens from my high school were solicited from nude pictures because of cell phones. Not to mention one of my dearest friends died in result of texting while driving. What kills me most is everyday I go into work there's at least 10, 11-13 yr old coming in to the hospital for a pregnancy test and it comes out positive. So, I guess I'm kinda of questioning these polls and the participant behind them.
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2-19-2010 @ 5:09PM
Lita said...My fiance's dad was always bugging him to sit down and have a beer "with his old man," from the time we were back in high school. And he'd be angry when he said "no." I never understood it. Most other parents would have been thrilled that their children were not drinking and/or using drugs in high school (or earlier, nowadays). To this day, he does not drink and never has used drugs or smoked a cigarette. He always felt that drinking was okay, but not for him. And that he was too good to get drunk or get high or to smoke. He says he's not better than people who do these things; they are too good to do them, too. The difference is, they haven't come to that realization yet. But he says he's still rooting for them. He's some kind of guy.
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2-19-2010 @ 5:36PM
navyblulace said...Evangelicals Brainwashing?
Exposing children to the Gospel according to Jesus Christ,
and the Bible is Brainwashing?
Adopting a Christian Lifestyle of no sex before Marriage, No Alcohol,
No Drugs, No Smoking, and living according to the 10 Commandments is Brainwashing?
No teenage pregnancies to contend with-no rehab to check into-no juvenile offender programs to attend-no DUI offenses or any other criminal record-no health problems due to drugs and smoking-
Sound GOOD?
Read the Bible-Read the 10 Commandments in the Bible-and Live by it.
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2-19-2010 @ 6:07PM
holly boorman said...That is a nice theory to think that the bible is the end all answer to the world, but it is not realistic. Plus God created all of these things for people to enjoy life good bad or otherwise. And the bible is an interpretation from many yrs ago that is very difficult to apply to many modern day issues. Just as it may be difficult for generations to relate to each other the 10 commandments are guidelines but cannot be considered hard fast rules, if so what about our governement and the constitution? Besides we can only hope we have done our job as parents to guide our children to make good choices they are individuals and even as a parent of 3 I may not agree with their decisions as they age but as long as they are safe and not breaking any laws or injuring themselves or each other that is what should matter. My dad used to tell my brother and I if you end up in trouble whatever you did to put yourself there you probably deserved it. But I guarantee the bible is not going to help you out of every problem.
2-19-2010 @ 6:45PM
TheparrotGod said...Ya ever think some of the stuff you expose your children to in church may have lasting ramifications or is your only goal to sit here and cram christ down their throats?
Not everyone adheres to solid christian teaching and are still good people who don't lie cheat or smoke, God said to forgive.
I out right boycotted that awful movie Passion of the Christ with good reason, it's PROPAGANDA.
Give me a Bible and let me sit and read it to myself and I will be happy, no one likes to have it jammed down their throats and I hated going to the movies when that show was out because Zealots would be leaving pamphlets all over my car and other's in the parking lot trying to get people to go watch the movie.
If you love God then he will love you, you pray for forgiveness then you will recieve it so long as you do everything you can to change your ways for the better.
So long as Fire and Brimstone preaching exists people like me will exist who wish the Zealots would shut up and scurry back to their churches and keep their invasive religion propaganda to themselves.
2-19-2010 @ 5:57PM
Turnkey181 said...Tax Alcohol or ban it. it isnt any good for anyone. 5 cent a drink or 50 cent a bottle or can would make up a lot of money for communities or statses. people would pay it because everyone wants to drink. cigarrettes are taxed so why not tax alcohol. tax or ban it. solve a lot of problems
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2-19-2010 @ 6:49PM
mike hylton said...dduuhhhh alcohol ,beer wine liquor is taxed and heavily,,
2-19-2010 @ 6:03PM
Caroline said...Hi, I'm 22 years old and I would like to say something about drinking and R rated films. My first R rated film was "Gangsters Paradise" starring Michelle Pifer. I was 9 years old when I saw that film. You know, a lot of swearing, gang related things, ect. As of today, I'm nothing like that. I'm not some violent person or in a gang or do any drugs. Also I was aloud when I was younger to taste beer, and even though I'm legal drinking age, I actually don't go out and just buy beer or barley drink at parties. I think todays parents are way too strict about things like this. I grew up fine, graduated school, still going to College (Berklee College of Music), and not pregnant or anything that would be considered "bad". It's all about being a good parent. If you add more rules, kids are more likely to break them and do the things you don't want them to do.
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2-19-2010 @ 6:21PM
Neal said...Right On Sister...I'm a 63 year old father and grandfather. You are exactly right. If you want your kids to be fine, then be a fine person yourself! No need for many rules or censorship. Rules are made to be broken anyway!
2-19-2010 @ 6:16PM
anonymous. said...I'm 16 years old, and I want to give all you parents a clue.
-My parents openly talked about sex when I was young.
-I took sips of my dads beer.
-Any movie that I wanted to see, I saw.
-I got my first tattoo when I was fifteen, with my moms permission as well as a peircing.
-I had a cell phone when I was 11 and my own car when I turned 16
-I told my mom as soon as I was having sex.
-When I was 12, she let me dye my hair a million colors of the rainbow and let me wear converse and rock tees and learn to play guitar
-I told my mom when I tried weed.
-I tell my mom when I go to parties and I drink at them.
I also
-Attend school regularly
-Do well in school
-Work a part time job
-Manage my own bank account
-Put gas in my own car
-Pay for my own clothes, make up, haircuts... and so on.
-And I have nothing on my criminal record
No I'm not "white trash" or "ignorant". I actually come from an upper middle class family and my mom is a business owner. And I have fun, but I also stay out of trouble. Do you know why? BECAUSE MY MOMMA RAISED ME RIGHT! She taught me that I can do as I please and express myself, as long as I have money in the bank, a job and good grades. I feel like I can talk to my mom about anything and so if I'm in a rough spot, I go to her and no one else. Don't over control your kids. Or else they will want nothing to do with you and the minute they turn eighteen, they will be gone for good. Some of my close friends have overcontrolling parents, and they are the ones who sneak out of their houses, lie to their moms, peirce their own lips and noses, have sex just to get back at their parents,and rebel in the worst ways. So take my advice, remove the stick from your ass and let your kids make your own mistakes. They will be more prone to tell you where they are and what they are doing and who they are with if you TRUST them and don't punish them severely for going out with their friends. And if they are drinking, they will call you to pick them up and not get in the car with an intoxicated, crazy 16 year old. Another thing, my mom let me express myself in anyway I wanted and I feel as if I am a kid that is comfortable with who I am and not so insecure. Kids shouldnt have to hide who they are. My mother is a great parent and loves me for who I am and the decisions I make. And because she backs me 100% and trusts me, I often make better choices and grow as an individual.
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