How Young Is Too Young For Beer, Cell Phones and Piercings?

My mom let me drink in front of her at family events. She taught me to respect alcohol and that in moderation it is ok. She also taught me it is not okay to get behind the wheel of a vehicle and drive and used the example of a relative who during my growing up almost killed their family because of too much alcohol. I think if parents show responsibility whether or not they realize it the children do pick it up they do not always show it. I did the same with my daughter and I have yet to see her totally soused or at least not so soused she could not make a phone call to someone to come and get her from where she was and bring her home.. She is 25 now and lives on her own if she does not think she can get home safely either with her ride or by herself she calls, I go get her, point to the spare bedroom and she sleeps til morning and goes home. Responsible drinking and actions can be taught and learned it sometimes takes time and patience but it does get learned. We as parents do not always see it nor do the teens realize it but it is a nice feeling when the point is learned and noted

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When I moved from Jr. High (9th grade) to Sr. High (10th thru 12th Grades) my dad sat me down for a talk. First subject was smoking. No one in the immediate family smoked and he hoped I wouldn't either. But, he said if I felt like I wanted to I should tell him and he would buy whatever tobacco I wanted and we would sit down together and use it. He didn't want me sneaking around to smoke. I never asked. Alcohol was pretty much a moot point but it was petty much the same deal. At that time I had no interest. During holiday dinners I was often pressed into service to deliver mixed drinks from dads little bar, just a cabinet with a glass top about four feet tall, to the guests. Once in awhile when he mixed something different he would ask me if I wanted to try a sip. Sometimes I did. I never liked it and never asked for another sip. I never took up smoking but I did drink beer after I joined the Marine Corp. in 1962 and drank a mixed drink or three. Maybe a little too much after my third year, but when I finished my tour of duty in 1966 it was like a faucet was turned off. I no longer wanted to drink beer and just stopped. The truth is , I didn't even realize I quit.

Now, there is a big difference between offering a child a "sip" and pouring out a full glass for him or her. And, it was under supervision. I was never tempted to drink when mom and dad weren't home because I knew all I had to do was ask and dad would have had a drink with me.(I also knew dad had a pretty good idea of how much of each liquor was left in each bottle.)

When a child should be allowed to drink is a matter between the parent and the child. In reality, in most families, legal drinking age doesn't enter the process until the child leaves home.

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good for you caroline and anonymous ;-)

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Parents, think about this: I'm a senior in college, and the kids that partied the ABSOLUTE hardest throughout these four years of my life were the ones who formerly had the strictest parents. They had no idea what to do with their newfound freedom, and got so excited that they all overdid it. A girl from my dorm got alcohol poisoning the FIRST day of college, and later talked about how before college she had never been allowed even a single sip of alcohol. Ever. I'm not saying you should go let your kids do wild and crazy things, but open conversation and controlled supervised "tasting" definitely prevents these kind of catastrophies. I've been having small sips of things since I was about 15, and have never been drunk off my ass even ONCE since attending school. More frequently, I end up being the babysitter for the drunk kids who formerly had control freak parents. I see it all the time.

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As I told my now-15-year-old son: I would rather he "experiment" with things when he is home and under my supervision, rather than sneaking around to do it or going to a party and getting in a ton of trouble. Because of that attitude, and our frank and open discussions, as well as being present once when my husband had a bit too much at a party (once in the three years we've been together) and seeing him sick and hung over, he's not interested in going out and getting drunk or even drinking. I've been honest with him about my experimentation with weed when I was younger, as well as why I insist that he be older before he even CONSIDERS any type of sexual activity (my exact words: "If I find out you've had it out of your pants in the presence of another person other than gym class or the doctor's office, I will remove it and put it somewhere that you'll not enjoy and have a hard time retrieving it...").

As for the (I'm assuming) young lady with the rainbow hair and such - ditto with my son. A couple of years ago, he wanted a purple mohawk. My deal with him: bring me home an honor roll report card, and you can have it. I took a lot of criticism from strangers who wanted to know why I would "allow" something so crazy, and I didn't hesitate to tell them what it took for him to get that hairstyle, and what he had to do to keep it (same thing - grades drop or I start seeing other problems, head gets shaved and you get to start over). And I hear, all the time, how polite, well mannered, intelligent, and helpful my son is. I'm very proud of that - and of him.

Talk to your kids like they're competent and mature, be honest with them and straight forward, don't try to hide things from them or forbid too much -- because we all know that the thing we want most is the thing we've been told we absolutely can NOT have -- and you'll find, I think, that your children will ACT competent and mature, will be honest and straight-forward with you, and they won't hide what they're doing.

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The age-limits for assuming "adult" priviledges have been screwed-up for years. The drinking age should be lowered to 18, as it was when I grew up, but the age for having a drivers license should be raised. At 17, junior licenseses should be issued, and become senior at 18 if not more than 4 points are accumulated on them. NOBODY, for ANY REASON should be able to drive under the age of 17!

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i dont really see the big deal in seeing r rated movies before 17. as a teen i know that most of my peers regularly watch these movies and the content isnt really a surprise to them. alot of teens have already been exposed to most of the things a movie is rated r for. i do think that some r movies are worse than others though and that i wouldnt want to see most of the worse ones. but sometimes r rated movies really arent that bad

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Wow, not talking about sex with your kids until they are 12 or 13? Many kids today are sadly having sex by that age. My daughter is 10, and we've been talking about sex since she was 6 or 7. Not much details, but just occasionally mentioning that what the people doing on that TV show is something only for adults, that certain kinds of touching are only for married couples, etc. Make it a common and boring topic EARLY or they won't be comfortable talking about it later.

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unsupervised dating (54 percent say no for their girls, and 49 percent for their sons); social networking accounts (43 percent rule them out), unsupervised Internet use (37 percent say no) and 36 percent say it is never acceptable for a minor to see an R-rated movie, even with a parent.

And then those same parents are turning around at their kids saying that their acting to immature, or not growing up. Probably because you're treating them like 5 year olds? Dating unsupervised is fine for anybody over 13. Social networking accounts are fine for anyone that knows not to post personal information. Unsupervised internet? Teach them what to not go on. And it's a movie, just a movie, don't let the 5 yr. old siblings go to see it, but if they know it exists in the world, it's fine.

Parents today are beyond over protective, thinking that even the smallest thing will somehow screw their children up for years and years. Step back, teach your kids right from wrong, and play an active part in their lives, but don't control them once they are old enough to decide the major things for themselves

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