Is It Possible to Avoid the Princess Phase?

Speaking from past experiences, I went through ALL SORTS of phases in my childhood without much pull from my parents to go in either direction. I was a tomyboy, I liked dirt,worms,bugs,nature, but hated organized sports. I drew pokemon with the boys in my class. I had a few barbies, but only so I had something to ride the many,many model grand champion horses I had. Then when I got a little older I went through the cute princess thing. However I got picked on A LOT during the 4th-5th grade and vowed to do away with anything pink, princessy or cute, and became a "goth" kid all through middle school. I kept an alternative style and made it my own when I started highschool which I still retain to this day. On any given day you can see me in anything from a tutu and knee high converse sneakers, to a button down, favorite pair of jeans, and a T-shirt and I'm confident in anything I choose to wear. Over all just because your daughter may like barbies one day, doesn't mean that's what they will be like for the rest of their lives. However I must agree "celebrities" like britney spears, paris hilton, etc are not people who I'd want my daughter looking up too.

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I do not like you gender non specific people you are what is wrong with the world. You push your kids to be something they are not and on some cases it has really negative effect. Let them play with what they want but dont buy a boy a barbie because it is "trendy"

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I never had this problem when I was a little girl - I had some Barbies but I'd end up trying to color their hair and eyes brown to look like me rather than wanting to look like them. I preferred and collected the dark haired ones... The Disney Princesses weren't as big back then but there were still enough that looked and thought enough like me (attitude - Little Mermaid) (look- Belle) Some of the really old-fashioned ones could use an update (Snow White is naive,Cinderella can't stand up for herself, Sleeping Beauty is told who to marry...) but as time went on, Disney updated them to be independent.
Now I think the problem is more brattiness (via Disney "sitcoms" etc.) where the girls are divas with attitude that eclipse their parents.
I think it's great for girls to be into pink and purple and girly things as long as "princess" doesn't turn into "diva" (hannah montana anyone?) as long as they are interested in other things like music, dance, animals, etc. I don't think little girls need to be playing with boy toys like fire trucks, when little boys would be ridiculed for playing with dolls. Let them be who they are without any characters telling them who they should be -and I really think it's more attitude than looks!

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Mali what's wrongs with little girls playing with trucks? I remember distinctly requesting for the hot-wheels toy in my McDonald's happy meal as opposed to the useless barbie toy where all you could do was brush her hair. If I had a son that liked my little pony, why not? I probably wouldn't let him take it to school for fear of him being hurt by his classmates. I know I'd have to explain why the world is so backwards in ways he could understand, but if he wanted a My Little Pony, whats the harm?

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your just sad im 27 and still a princess i have a tatt that says so i was a tomboy baseball playing in the dirt gilr but i discovered boys and now im a princess better to do it when there kids than having 20 year olds that think the world owes then we got to many of thoes just give in

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ps the dora links doll thats grown traded in boots the monkey for shopping with her friends and changing her eye color and hair online making them want contacts and hair cuts all the time gee thanks dora

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As for me growing up in the sixies....Played with toy cowboys and indians, dinosaurs, and ezbake oven.
Wore blue, looked better in it. Had playdoh and never ate it.

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Tracy I agree with you on the Dora thing. What she teaches isn't even realistic. If some kid on the playground tells a bully to not take their toy three times in a row, what exactly do you think is going to happen? Is the bully just going to snap his fingers and run away like the fox. Nope! The bully's going to push the kid down, kick mulch in his eyes and take the toy anyway.

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wow you even want to control what toys your child might like...your not an overbearing parent at all

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I have always encouraged young girls to be multi-faceted. I was the kind of girl who was mountain climbing, relay racing and softball playing by day and putting on a satin dress, dabing a little consealer on my bruises and dancing the night away. On Sunday I was singing on the choir and helping cook Sunday dinners. Let your girls taste all that life has to offer. They don't have to choose a role they should try out for the princess and the heroin. There's a song that says "I'm not a Princess. This ain't a fairytale...". Well ladies...when I'm not being a "Princess" I'm the "Queen" of the whole empire!!!! ask anyone...LOL

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when i was little i hated pink. i liked blues and greens. i wish they would take these bratzs barbies and stuff like that off the shelves and hannah montana off the tv. hannah montana is annoying and the teenagers treat there parents like they are just people who they can disrespect and stuff

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I THINK THE WHOLE DISNEY PRINCESS STAGE IS GREAT !
IT TEACHES EVERY LITTLE GIRL THEY CAN BE A PRINCESS.
EVEN THOUGH THEY ALL ALREADY ARE. THE MOVIES ARE EMPOWERING AS WELL. THEY TEACH LITTLE GIRLS THAT NOT YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE BORN WEALTHY TO BE A PRINCESS.
THE PRINCESSES IN THE FAIRYTALE MOVIES COME FROM DIFFERENT CIRCUMSTANCES AND HAVE NOTHING BUT LOVE AND COMPASSION FOR EVERYTHING. NO MATTER HOW MUCH EVIL IS AROUND THEM. I HAD TWO DAUGHTERS ONE WHO LOVED PRINCESSES AND THE ONE WHO WOULD TAKE HER PRINCESSES AND RUN THEM THROUGH THE MUD WITH HER BARBIE JEEP. THEY BOTH LOVED TO WATCH THE MOVIES THOUGH. NEITHER OF MY DAUGHTERS TURNED OUT TO BE PARIS HILTON WANNA BE OR A MASS MURDER. THEY ARE BOTH VERY INDEPENDENT SUCCESSFUL WOMEN. NOW I HAVE A 4 YEAR OLD GRANDAUGHTER AND SHE IS GOING THROUGH THE PRINCESS STAGE AND I LOVE WATCHING HER LIGHT UP AROUND THE FANTASY OF IT ALL. LITTLE GIRLS GROW OUT OF IT FOR THE MOST PART AND I THINK IT IS A PART OF CHILDHOOD THEY SHOULD EXPERIENCE. CHILDREN KNOW WHAT THEY LIKE AND DISLIKE, IT IS PARENTS THAT SHOVE THERE IDIOCTIC IDEAS OF WHAT THEY THINK THEIR CHILD SHOULD LIKE AND DISLIKE THAT MAKES THEM REBEL AND GROW UP WONDERING WHY THEY DID NOT EXPERIENCE THE FANTASY OF IT ALL. I WOULD RATHER MUCH SIT BACK AND WATCH MY CHILD GROW AND FIGURE OUT HIS OR HER DILIKES ON THEIR OWN. I AM NOT A BIG PINCESS BUFF NOR WAS I INTO THE WHOLE SCENE OF IT ALL, THE PRINCEES SIDE OF IT. I LOVED BARBIES,THE AIRPLANE,THE BUS, ECT... THAT DID NOT HOLD ME BACK FROM LETTING MY DAUGHTERS DECIDE THOUGH ON WHAT THEY LIKED. LET LITTLE GIRLS BE WHO THEY WANT. THEY ALL CANNOT BE TOMBOYS OR WHAT YOU BELIEVE THEY SHOULD BE. IT IS JUST A PART OF CHILDHOOD.

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maybe i'm just an exception but i know for a fact i never had a princess phase...I was a baseball and mud kind of girl. Not that at that time i was particularly a tomboy, i loved my little yellow dress with the cherries, i just wasn't into the frills because I couldn't climb trees in them. So there are definitely exceptions to the 'princess phase.'

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I took my kids to the video store recently. (This is much like bringing them to the toy store if they have a gift card but then wondering why you thought it was a good idea as you exit with some ridiculous large plastic toy with a million pieces!) Anyway, to my chagrin my 3 year old insists upon "Barbie and the Diamond Castle." Ugh! Now I'm in the middle of the raod when it comes to all the Barbie/Pink/Princess gear for girls; I don't love it but I also don't think it's actually harmful. My daughter goes for all that but she certainly has a variety of other stuff as well. I took a similar approach with my son and his desire to play guns/army guys, etc. and he is a prettty well adjusted, sweet kid. Anyway, I was so not looking forward to "Barbie's Diamond Castle" but I will tell you I was pleasantly surprised! The main theme was friendship, the two boys didn't play a major role in the story and there was reciprocal "saving." I was also happy with "The Princess and the Frog" which I didn't expect to be. I think the modern day princesses/Barbies might not be so bad.

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Am I the only one who finds this title insulting and pathetic? Just to question if a princess stage can be avoided is absurd. It can. Girls are more than capable of loving Barbie and Cinderalla without feeling the need to wear puffy, pink dresses and tiaras. Little girls who run around dressed like that do so because that's what their mothers buy for them.

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Teach them about a REAL princess. Or should that be queen- Queen Esther.

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I grew up as a major tomboy. I hated wearing dresses, and could almost always be found outside with my horse, not matter the weather. By the time I was four years old, I was allowed to ride horseback alone as far as two miles from our house in any direction. That limit expanded as I got older. At six, I could ride a galloping horse bareback, STANDING on its back.

BUT!-- If anyone had told me when I was a girl that I couldn't be a Princess if I wanted to be, I would have HATED it!

What in the world is wrong with fairy tales? We all watch a fairy tale every time we watch a show on TV. Novels are fairy tales. Fashion is a fairy tale. Politics, when you think about it, is also a fairy tale.

NO child should be told what is and is not allowed inside their creative minds. To try to control a childs imagination is playing with fire, and a parent who tries to inflict their narrow views may live to regret it when their child hits those 'interesting' teenage years and decides to be creative in ways their parents have never dreamed of.

Princess Power!

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ok so i am 23 and when i was a kid my dad taught me that all girls were princesses. he told me that a princess should be respected, loved and be treated like royalty. i loved all the pink princess stuff and yes i did dream of finding my prince charming, and today i am a well rounded person. i dont think that all that girly stuff has anything to do with who a child grows up to be. anyone who thinks so is crazy.

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By your own admission, Shelley, you gravitated toward the "Princess" stage in your youth and it didn't hurt you at all. Why are you so worried that it will emotionally scar your daughters forever?
The operative word is balance and a focus on education as a lifelong goal so that they don't get the subliminal message that Prince Charming will come along and support them in the manner to which they would like to become accustomed.
Let them dress up as Princesses and firefighters and doctors and lawyers and engineers and ballerinas and anything else. They'll figure it out, too, just like you did.
Oh, and by the way, sixty-plus years ago, I dressed as a princess and a witch and a cat and a strawman and a sunbeam and an angel and a hula girl...and I became a mechanical engineer.

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What is wrong with allowing a little girl feel like the most beautiful , most special girl in the world for the very short time the phase lasts? What is wrong with her being all frilly and dancing around singing like a dove ( even if she sound like a crow) ? This is a time in a little girls life when they learn what it feels like to be confident and very special, like the most important thing in the world. Every little girl should be allowed this stage. It only hurts when after a bit the parents let it become more than a stage, more than pretend, if they are not provided with reality and varitey to round them out. These children will grow up soon enough, very seldom does this stage get out of hand and harm the child. Let her have her kingdom and fantasy, we all need to know how it feels to be confident and special, how else will we know what to strive for when we are grown. No I don;t mean to be an overgrown pixy princess, I mean an adult who know what it is to feel special, confident and worthy. the key is to teach these young girls to also be empowering and not to settle for less than the best, to not settle for being treated like the tom boy, even when they act like it. Let it teach them how it feels to be special, and how important those feelings are, so they can know the importance of those feling and strive to make others feel special too. Even big tough biker girls want to feel special, important and pretty, and you sure would not call them weak would you? It's all about balance, and self worth, with both of those a girl can grow up to be anyhting she chooses.

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