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Mother Details Efforts to Use Science to Save Her Dying Son in New Book
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Laurie Strongin's new book, Saving Henry, details her family's struggles to save their dying son. Credit: Norma Jean Roy
With a young son in need of a bone marrow transplant to beat a deadly disease, doctors urged Laurie Strongin to get pregnant. The goal: genetically engineer a perfect donor for Henry.
Using science to conceive a third child and save her oldest son's life seemed almost "too good to be true," Strongin, of Washington, D.C., recalls. The strategy, which the family and their doctors pioneered, raised ethical debates among researchers and parents, and was dramatized in a best-selling novel.
Henry was born in 1995 with Fanconi anemia, a rare genetic disease that causes bone marrow failure and can lead to leukemia and cancer. Her second son, Jack, did not have the disease but was not a genetic match to Henry. Doctors offered Strongin and her husband, Allen Goldberg, the opportunity to use preimplantation genetic diagnosis to select and implant embryos that did not carry the disease and would be a genetic match for Henry. Strongin underwent in vitro fertilization with the hopes of carrying a child whose umbilical cord blood could be used for a bone marrow transplant for Henry.
"There's clearly a benefit to being in a family that has not experienced the death of a child," says Strongin, of her decision to pursue the procedure.
After nine failed attempts, Strongin gave up on in vitro fertilization. She and Goldberg later conceived a third child, Joe, who was born healthy but not a match for Henry. Henry, who received a transplant from an unrelated donor, succumbed to his disease in 2002 at age 7.
Strongin, who details her family's journey in a new book, Saving Henry, shared her harrowing experience with ParentDish.
ParentDish: How does it feel to have this book published?
Laurie Strongin: It was like getting through another part of my life with Henry that was challenging and exhilarating. It fulfilled a desire to spend time with Henry.
PD: Are you worried that people will find the book depressing?
LS: It's such a story of hope and such a story of the promise of science. People have said they felt exhilarated and determined to be a different kind of parent after reading it.
PD: What message would you like readers to take from the account?
LS: Make each day meaningful, and what really matters and what's important is the impact that one life can have on the world and so many other people.
PD: What impact do you think Saving Henry will have on conversations about pre-implantation genetic diagnosis (PGD) and creating babies to save the life of a sibling?
LS: This book really humanizes the debate about those issues. Now, when people talk about those issues (they) have a boy to help guide them -- make the conversations more real.PD: What message would you like readers to take from the account?
LS: Make each day meaningful, and what really matters and what's important is the impact that one life can have on the world and so many other people.
PD: What impact do you think Saving Henry will have on conversations about pre-implantation genetic diagnosis (PGD) and creating babies to save the life of a sibling?
PD: What was your reaction when you learned that it would be possible to select embryos to create a child that could be born healthy and a genetic match for Henry?
LS: We thought a lot about it, but there was never a point where we said this is not a good idea. It was a matter of life or death.
PD: What would you have done if genetic testing would have revealed that your second baby, which you conceived naturally, also had Fanconi anemia?
LS: I can't even answer that hypothetical. I don't know because it didn't happen. I was very grateful we had choices. I don't know if I would have gotten pregnant if I didn't know I had choices.
PD: Many people debate the ethics of screening embryos for genetic traits. What are your thoughts on parents using the testing?
LS: PGD is an invasive, painful, time-consuming and expensive procedure that should be used sparingly by doctors and patients to help families produce healthy babies. For couples with a high likelihood of passing along a fatal disease to their child, it replaces luck with certainty in a situation fraught with life-or-death stakes.
I do not understand, nor support, the use of PGD to produce a girl or boy for 'family balancing' or a baby with a preferred eye color or hair color, propensity for a high IQ or heightened sports ability. This corruptive application of a life-saving technology threatens to turn public sentiment against its intended and higher use.
PD: After your second child was born healthy, you started in vitro fertilization to have a third child that could donate cord blood to Henry potentially save his life. Was the decision more about saving Henry or growing your family?
LS: To think that we were conceiving a third child who would be loved any less is misplaced. It's not what it is. Most loving committed parents do anything for their children. The fact that a baby is a savior doesn't mean it's loved any more or less for it. We were always planning to have multiple children. We just thought we would have three kids.
PD: Did you ever consider having another child after Henry died?
LS: We were never trying to replace Henry. We never had any additional children after Henry died. We love the fact that everyone in our family knew each other, and we were all here together. It would be hard to have another child that Henry didn't know and who didn't know Henry. That was unimaginable.
PD: During your in-vitro attempts, you endured 353 injections over three years and dealt with excessive bruises on your stomach and thighs. How did you handle the discomfort?
LS: None of it really bothered me at all. It paled in comparison to Henry and what he had gone through. It was just what I had to do to save his life. Webelieved it was our only hope for Henry.
PD: How did you survive the emotional roller coaster of the nine failed attempts at in-vitro?
LS: It was a waste of time to feel sorry for ourselves. We had no guarantees of how long Henry would be with us. Getting in bed and pulling the covers over our heads felt like a bad choice. There wasn't any time to feel sorry for ourselves. There was too much fighting to do.
PD: Jodi Picoult's novel, My Sister's Keeper, dramatizes the issue of a child being conceived to save the life of her sister. The fictional parents and their decision are portrayed in an unflattering light. What are your impressions of the book, which was written after a New York Times Magazine article about your efforts to save your son?
LS: I've never meet Jodi Picoult and never spoken with her. When I read the book, I thought, "This sounds very familiar." I think it took a nuanced, very gray issue and made it very black and white and aroused fear in people.
PD: You've met families that were successful in conceiving a baby to save another child. Does the book capture that situation?
LS: I felt like those parents (in the book) were far less attuned and less in love with the other two children. Their actions were unfamiliar. I don't think I have anything in common with that mother. I found it troublesome.
PD: Does the book offer a realistic picture of what it's like to be the child created to save a sibling?
LS: My understanding is the donor can never again give blood cells. The donor daughter constantly was giving blood. I don't think that happens. I don't know what the likelihood is, if the transplant failed, that they would go back to the same donor.
PD: A lot of people disagree with the practice of creating donor or savior children. How do you respond to them?
LS: My guess is people who judge others ... probably don't have a child who is going to die without the stem cells of a sibling.
[Knowing] you saved the life of an older sibling who now you have a loving relationship with, it's a beautiful thing.
PD: What issue would you like to see get more attention?
LS: The potential of stem cell research. Doctors can understand what diseases look like at earlier stages [and become] better able to find and improve treatments and cures. That's critically important.
PD: How has Henry's death impacted your other children, Jack, 13, and Joe, 8?
LS: Growing up they each had a very different relationship with Henry. Jack was turning six when his brother died. He was very aware that his big brother and best friend had died. Joe was one. He has no active memory of Henry. Jack is a lot more private of Henry. When he meets people, he will not share that piece of information. But he thinks about him a lot. Joe is really interested in connecting himself (to Henry). He tells people, "I have two brothers. Jack is 13. My brother Henry died."
PD: Do they feel guilty for living?
LS: I don't think they feel any guilt for being healthy. I feel like their overwhelming feeling toward Henry is pride. They look at him as a really courageous person.
PD: You've said having a sick child impacts every aspect of your life. What kind of financial impact did it have on your family?
LS: We always had a roof over our heads. We always had food on our table. We did go through almost all of our savings at that time, but that's what it was for -- to keep us all intact and as healthy as we can be.
I do not understand, nor support, the use of PGD to produce a girl or boy for 'family balancing' or a baby with a preferred eye color or hair color, propensity for a high IQ or heightened sports ability. This corruptive application of a life-saving technology threatens to turn public sentiment against its intended and higher use.
PD: After your second child was born healthy, you started in vitro fertilization to have a third child that could donate cord blood to Henry potentially save his life. Was the decision more about saving Henry or growing your family?
LS: To think that we were conceiving a third child who would be loved any less is misplaced. It's not what it is. Most loving committed parents do anything for their children. The fact that a baby is a savior doesn't mean it's loved any more or less for it. We were always planning to have multiple children. We just thought we would have three kids.
PD: Did you ever consider having another child after Henry died?
LS: We were never trying to replace Henry. We never had any additional children after Henry died. We love the fact that everyone in our family knew each other, and we were all here together. It would be hard to have another child that Henry didn't know and who didn't know Henry. That was unimaginable.
PD: During your in-vitro attempts, you endured 353 injections over three years and dealt with excessive bruises on your stomach and thighs. How did you handle the discomfort?
LS: None of it really bothered me at all. It paled in comparison to Henry and what he had gone through. It was just what I had to do to save his life. Webelieved it was our only hope for Henry.
PD: How did you survive the emotional roller coaster of the nine failed attempts at in-vitro?
LS: It was a waste of time to feel sorry for ourselves. We had no guarantees of how long Henry would be with us. Getting in bed and pulling the covers over our heads felt like a bad choice. There wasn't any time to feel sorry for ourselves. There was too much fighting to do.
PD: Jodi Picoult's novel, My Sister's Keeper, dramatizes the issue of a child being conceived to save the life of her sister. The fictional parents and their decision are portrayed in an unflattering light. What are your impressions of the book, which was written after a New York Times Magazine article about your efforts to save your son?
LS: I've never meet Jodi Picoult and never spoken with her. When I read the book, I thought, "This sounds very familiar." I think it took a nuanced, very gray issue and made it very black and white and aroused fear in people.
PD: You've met families that were successful in conceiving a baby to save another child. Does the book capture that situation?
LS: I felt like those parents (in the book) were far less attuned and less in love with the other two children. Their actions were unfamiliar. I don't think I have anything in common with that mother. I found it troublesome.
PD: Does the book offer a realistic picture of what it's like to be the child created to save a sibling?
LS: My understanding is the donor can never again give blood cells. The donor daughter constantly was giving blood. I don't think that happens. I don't know what the likelihood is, if the transplant failed, that they would go back to the same donor.
PD: A lot of people disagree with the practice of creating donor or savior children. How do you respond to them?
LS: My guess is people who judge others ... probably don't have a child who is going to die without the stem cells of a sibling.
[Knowing] you saved the life of an older sibling who now you have a loving relationship with, it's a beautiful thing.
PD: What issue would you like to see get more attention?
LS: The potential of stem cell research. Doctors can understand what diseases look like at earlier stages [and become] better able to find and improve treatments and cures. That's critically important.
PD: How has Henry's death impacted your other children, Jack, 13, and Joe, 8?
LS: Growing up they each had a very different relationship with Henry. Jack was turning six when his brother died. He was very aware that his big brother and best friend had died. Joe was one. He has no active memory of Henry. Jack is a lot more private of Henry. When he meets people, he will not share that piece of information. But he thinks about him a lot. Joe is really interested in connecting himself (to Henry). He tells people, "I have two brothers. Jack is 13. My brother Henry died."
PD: Do they feel guilty for living?
LS: I don't think they feel any guilt for being healthy. I feel like their overwhelming feeling toward Henry is pride. They look at him as a really courageous person.
PD: You've said having a sick child impacts every aspect of your life. What kind of financial impact did it have on your family?
LS: We always had a roof over our heads. We always had food on our table. We did go through almost all of our savings at that time, but that's what it was for -- to keep us all intact and as healthy as we can be.
PD: What political changes would you like the book to spark?
LS: The freeing up of federal resources to support stem cell research is critical. As genetic testing becomes more widespread, I hope there will be regulation of the industry.
Related: In Vitro Fertilization for Infertility












ReaderComments (Page 2 of 4)
3-02-2010 @ 3:12PM
melindac1 said...I can only admire the honesty of her story. I have a daughter who suddenly required an organ transplant to live. Until you have walked in my shoes, don't judge. The people who made that critical decision to donate their childs organs at a time you can not imagine tells me life is a joy and a challenge everyday. I know without a doubt that my husband or I would have given up our life in a heartbeat to have saved my child. We were not a match. We need to do a better job of educating people on the technology that is available to save lifes, rather than show negative messages. Some people in life are selfish, but the majority would do what it takes to save a life - especially a childs.
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3-02-2010 @ 3:32PM
Erinn said...Don't wait until it is too late and call Viacord to save your baby's own Umbilical Cord Blood. If this ever happens you will have an exact match of stem cells for a transplant. I have saved the cord blood for both of my son's and it brings a great relief to know that I have done what I can to protect them...especially when I read articles like these. It is the Miracle of Science.
1-888-758-5115
Mention PEN# 197 to receive $325 off!
Reply
3-02-2010 @ 3:33PM
alison said...i have 4 kids. my 5 year old was diagnosed with leukemia when he was 3 and a half...i'm trying very hard to get pregnant and will not give up. i did not plan i having any more children. but i love my son to death. i will do ANYTHING to save him. and i will love my next baby just as much as my other children . until someone has to go threw what i'm going threw they have No right to judge what i do...
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3-02-2010 @ 3:37PM
Elaine Edford said...Sometimes you are dealt a genetic bad hand. It is not ethical to bring some innocent into the world so their primary function will be donating part of their body to save the person that nature selected not to survive. This woman was manipulated by the doctors so they could try an experiment on her family. Sometimes a child dies--it happens. Get over it and try again. Just because we have the technology to do something to save a life, does not always mean we should. This is a silly and selfish story.
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3-02-2010 @ 3:50PM
Lindsay said...The very fact that you can even say "Get over it and try again" about the death of a child is completely shocking. While I don't necessarily agree with what this woman tried to do, I do respect her choice. I know having been through the loss of a child, even though my situation was not the same, I would have done anything within my power to have saved them. You don't just "get over" the death of anyone, especially your own child.
3-02-2010 @ 4:06PM
Terri said..."Get over it"??? I sincerely hope that you do not have children. Good luck to you.
3-02-2010 @ 5:36PM
Kip said..."Get over it"????? You're talking about the death of a child!!! What a heartless creep! I don't believe you could possibly have children and say this. If you do, Heaven help them!
3-03-2010 @ 8:20AM
pat kreindler said...Unfortunately, you missed the point of the story. She was not selfish, but selfless. You, on the other hand, do not understand the poignancy of this story or the heroism and incredibly positive attitude and the spirituality and hope that played a significant role in the life of the family of the author of the book. I hope someday you will understand and appreciate what actually took placde.
3-02-2010 @ 3:52PM
debi said...dont pay no mind to small minded people this is a lovely story and i agree ANYTHING would be done to save a childs life for people to even say that by doing this you leson the value of life they are crazy till they walk a mile in your shoes they will never know, my son died suddenly in 08 he was 12 years old and when i was waiting in the hospital waiting room for them to tell me my sons condition i would have done ANYTHING if ment he would still live to see the rest of his days dont take your family or your own life for granted cause towmorrow could be the day you say i thought this only happened to other people then you turn around and its you its happening to.R.I.P LITTLE MAN WATCH OVER YOUR FAMILY
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3-03-2010 @ 4:04PM
Cynthia said...My son also had a rare genetic disease, Schwackman's, that affected the bone marrow. After normal function for years he diagnosed with AML at 11 1/2 yrs old. At 13 he died in remission of acute respritory distress. This was in 1988. I would have done whatever it took if the opportunity was presented.
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3-02-2010 @ 4:07PM
Frank said...reminds me of heavy rain
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3-02-2010 @ 4:07PM
Diane said...Please read the risks of IVF conception.
Mary meets Dolly blog.
IVF babies ' Risk Major Diseases'
Links aren't allowed but please be informed.
Information is the best way to not compound one problem with another. I'm not judging, just informing.
Diane
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3-02-2010 @ 4:12PM
Terri said...Refering to the sibling as "an extra parts child" is not judgemental at all. Not a bit.
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3-02-2010 @ 4:15PM
Sarah O. said...I know a similar situation where a friend's son was diagnosed with lukemia at birth but didn't show symptoms. At age 2 or 3 he started to have problems and the parents were urged to have another child to help with a possible match for the the little boy. They were successful! His sister was his lifeline with God's help and is doing well in remission now. Praise God! I also agree that anything/everything should be tried to save a life of a child. I as not able to have children but my adopted son is worth his weight in gold and he weighs a lot now at age almost 30!
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3-02-2010 @ 4:31PM
Kary said...For anyone bashing what this woman is doing.... Get a life. If you have never lost a child, you really have NO idea. If I was given this option, I would have taken it and ran with it. If you think the child has to constantly give marrow through out their life, most cases you are wrong. I hope none of you that has spoken bad about what this mother did ever need a transplant of any sort. If you do... It will be too bad if you don't get one. I would go to the end of the earth and back for my kids. If you wouldn't do the same for your kids, you shouldn't have had them.
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3-02-2010 @ 4:55PM
Rose said...In reply to Elaine Edfored-- you are entitled to your opinion but to say ' sometimes a child dies - get over it and try again' if a person's child dies is a heartless thing to say. I wonder if the shoe was on the other foot and you ever lost a child and someone then told you to 'get over it' what your reaction and feelings would be then?
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3-02-2010 @ 4:52PM
Sue said...As the mother of 3, I would go to ANY length to save the life of one of my children whether it be illegal, unethical or immoral. I would gladly sell my soul.. Using the core blood of your own child to save your own child is neither unethical or immoral..The life of a child is priceless. We're not talking Frankenstein here; no discussion of transplanting heads or harvesting body parts... I wonder if those who disagree, also disagree with donating blood, marrow, sperm, or horrors, kidneys to total strangers... How about donating organs once your brain ceases...isn't it all sharing the beauty of life done in the name of saving a precious life... I truly wish Henry could have been saved, every child who faces terminal illness could be saved.
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3-02-2010 @ 5:02PM
dkaffes said...PEOPLE DON'T JUDGE , BECAUSE NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY, IF IT CAME AROUND TO ONE OF YOUR CHILDREN ,YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU WOULD DO. I DON'T BELIEVE IN STEM CELL RESEARCH BUT I DO BELIEVE IN EDUCATING PREGANT MOTHERS ABOUT BLOOD FROM THE BABIES CORD , THEIR ARE ENOUGH BABIES BEING BORN THAT THEIR COULD BE AN ABUNDANCE OF HELP FOR OTHER CHILDREN
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3-02-2010 @ 5:14PM
Shawna Nicholson said...If I had the money to do this I would... My daughter Ashlynn also has FA she is going through Bone Marrow Transplant right now in Cincinnati,OH with an unrelated donor... I just hope her outcome is great....I'm gonna have to try and find your book I would love to read it....
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3-02-2010 @ 5:19PM
Karla said...wow. this is one AMAZING MOM!!!! i once saw a real movie in science class about a little girl with the same disease as Henry and her mom had to get pregnant and go through a whole process. It was really sad to watch but its reality! Good luck to this family and best wishes!
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