By not being gently firm with your child now you'll like not having the control every parent needs later on. I used to give my daughter a choice of 3 outfits to choose from, she made the choice within the boundaries I set for her. I'm the parent - you're the child strategy was a set foundation for our family. It worked! You've got to have backbone to raise kids these days... with the school teaching them to call 911 after a spanking or the music they listen to telling them to committ suicide or even just the plain meaness of their peers... getting a grip and standing firm is a must!
While I don't agree with Brad or Angelina on this issue... it's not my place to judge and certainly not condemn. Parents make mistakes, they unfortunately are in the spotlight and the drive-by press makes major issues of each mistake they make. Such is the world we live in but in YOUR little world your children MUST come first and MUST have boundaries set by YOU.

"upsettment" is NOT a word

What is the big deal? She is who she is. Brad and Angelina are doing the righ thing letting her natural figure it out....leave that family alone!

If she were my daughter I think I might be more concerned about why she won't "respond" to her real name and will only respond to a boy's name (John) than I would about her hair cut or clothes. The issue with the name would make me wonder if something is happening that makes her feel like she is loved more as a boy? ... it might not be the case, but I would have some concern about that since there are several children in the home and it would cross my mind that maybe something is going on that she feels like she needs to "be a boy" to get the attention? I could be totally wrong about it, but that is what I would want to find out if I were the parent. There is also the issue of "control" that she has that can lead to some serious behavior problems as she gets older, and self esteem issues as well. I don't think a 3 yr. old should decide what their name is going to be unless it is during "playtime" and pretend play, but for everyday conversation she should respond appropriately to the name she was given at birth. Giving a child too much "control" can lead to many problems... but giving them choices within boundries is something different and in my opinion is healthy... but parents need to realized there is a difference between giving them choices and giving them the control.

I had a little girl who, whenever she could get her hands on scissors-and she would go out of her way to find them-would cut her hair! She loved to cut her hair...but then you go to get it fixed...and you end up with super short hair...very boyish....

Kids have their own personalities, they know what they want to wear, how they want to look, etc....I agree, fighting daily to get dressed and out of the house is a day wrecker....who cares what she wears? (I've gone to run errands with a little Batman and Princess.....dark blue tights and light yellow dress, etc. etc....they are kids...they are trying it ALL on)

Give me a BREAK!! Did it ever occur to you that shorter hair on a girl is much easier? Little girls are nortorious for getting their hair knotted up, full of sticky candy and bubble gum, and making them comb or brush it every few hours is impossible until they've grown a bit older. Short hair on a little girl is just FINE. It's the ADULTS that need mental help!

My 4 year old grand daughter is strictly a "dress" girl. No "skirts", no "skorts", no "pants", no "shorts". She has been this way since she could first relay her opinion to her mother. We thought is was just a phase, but so far she is still a "dress girl". She has preferences there too. She does not like long sleeves.
She has preferences about her shoes too. Just as another commenter said, her mother decided that she did not want to send her daughter off to preschool each morning upset so she lets her choose her outfit every day. Of course there are some instances where Mommie has to stand fast and not let her were flip flops in the winter, for example, but for the most part she does pretty well choosing her outfits.

We feel that she is a complete person with likes and dislikes of her own. If it is something as simple as clothing, why not let her be herself. She is a very happy child, gets along well with her peers, minds mommy and daddy's requests on other topics, so what's the harm.

Well stated, Jenn. The compromise idea is very effective. If a child has a style preference, go in their direction, but don't take it to it's ultimate expression in a case like this. Children are innately 'sexed', perhaps we adults are more confusing to them than anything else. I believe that what Angelina & Brad are doing in this situation with Shiloh is somewhat misguided at best.

Upsetment may not be a word.............but ADVERTISING is!

And this is the best kind, FREE and no one is hurt. We get to be virtual detectives and they don't care what we say because they are not reading the comments. Shiloh is 3 and is oblivious. All she wants is to play and maybe a lollipop. No one is hurt. This all comes with the job.

So, who is going to see Angelina's new movie she is working on now, when it comes out?

That's show biz!

First these Anti-Social Writers and Reporters taunt and torture the parents, now they start on the child. Go away and leave the child alone. You'll do more harm to the child by writing articles like this than any haircut could possibly do. Go "tend you your own knittin", I'm sure your own life is pretty messed up and could use some attention. Hey, maybe you could get another writer to write about all of your "healthy" choices.

Excuse me.....no one has to fight with their child when dressing them. A 2-3 year old is so much different in dressing them as opposed to a 12-13 year old. Since when does any parent allow their 2 or 3 year old to tell them what to do and how to dress them? OK so the girl doesn't like to wear dresses, one can always find nice effeminate type clothes in pants, sweaters, and tops. Dressing in pants does not mean a parent has to present them in boy type clothes. If there are parents out there that are allowing their 2 or 3 year child tell them what they will wear or won't wear, and how to cut their hair, then it's the parent that has a problem, not the child.

I think at three the little girl would do what she is told to do. While Angie and Brad may think letting ther children "be what they want to be" is cool, you have to RAISE/REAR small children as they are too young to know what is right nd wrong. I think more troubling than dressing her like a boy and cuting her hair to look like a boy, is 1) Why are they coloring a 3 year old's hair and 2) Why are they calling her John? Sorry but that is just plain WEIRD. You can't tell me they aren't coloring her hair. If you will look at all the photos she has almost white hair it is so blonde. I realize blondes can change and go to brunette as they get older but her hair didn't change overnight to strawberry blonde it is now. If they are coloring her hair--that is downright SICK on their part. They need someone to parent them while they parent those kids.

What I would like to know is DOES BRAD HAVE ANY BACKBONE AT ALL???

How do you know it wasn't his idea? It looks to me like her brother/sister got hold of some scissors and lo and behold, short hair became a necessity!

I think she looks adorable, like Natalie Wood from Inside Daisy Clover.This child has been blessed with the beauty gene and just bc she like to wear pants instead of dresses expresses her idea of being unique, or she wants to stay warm!

Upsettment? That is not a word!

Does this make any sense ? Look at the source.. Angelina.
Need we say more ?

Lets hope the kid did the Kid Thing .. and cut her hair when no one was looking and this was the only fix.

Angelina.. Brad - does the name Chasity Bono ring a bell ??

Did any of you ever think this child believes she is in the wrong body? Talk to a transgender and see what their comment is--I am married to a Transgender Female-born male later changed to female-when he was a child--around 3 years old-he told his mom--MOM I DON"T BELONG IN THIS BODY--HELP ME--but back then there was nothing anybody knew about this experience--this child may be telling their parents something-just like Chasity Bono

I have three amazing children and am personally amazed that so many parents have taken a stance on someone else's child. Why does anyone else care if this little girl wants to be called John...my son wants to be called Spiderman and Captain America but does that lead me to believe he has a split personality...NO he's three. It's amazing how much coverage this family gets in the first place, but if anything is going to damage this little girls emotional well-being it would be reading or hearing that people are talking about her behind her back. I normally just read these stories out of shear boredom but this really struck a nerve. We spend so much time, as a society, feeling like we KNOW anything about celebrities based on the media coverage...we don't. If we focused our energies on our own families instead of making snide comments about a 3 year old girl we would probably be a lot happier.