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Vengeful Dad Baptizes Jewish Daughter
Filed under: In The News
When Joseph Reyes baptized his three-year old daughter Catholic, his soon to be ex-wife , Rebecca, dragged him before a judge.
You see, Reyes converted to Judaism and their daughter was being raised and schooled in the Jewish faith. The judge agreed with his wife that baptizing the child and taking her to church without her mother's consent was wrong and issued a court order prevented Reyes from "exposing his daughter to any other religion than the Jewish religion. ...", which would obviously include not taking her to Mass.
Reyes, however, violated the court order and was recently arraigned on a charge of indirect criminal contempt. He may face jail time.
Reyes did more than thumb his nose at the judge and his Jewish wife and in-laws; he also brought attention to the serious challenges faced by couples in interfaith marriages, especially when the relationship turns sour. Sadly, divorce has a way of unraveling the goodwill and compromises so painstakingly arrived at during happier times.
When Reyes decided to marry Rebecca, he agreed to convert, and in doing so, he renounced Jesus as his God and savior. Now he claims that he was coerced and was practicing Catholicism in secret -- a claim I personally find highly dubious. As a practicing Catholic myself, I feel comfortable saying that no serious Catholic would deny Jesus' divinity in order to placate a spouse, much less his in-laws, as Reyes asserts.
Catholic News Agency, a news Web site for Catholics, ran this story and a vast majority of the Catholics who commented on the story concur that not only should Reyes have not baptized his daughter, but that the priest should not have performed the baptism under these contentious conditions.
It's seems fairly obvious that Rebecca is the parent who is most deeply connected to her faith and traditions; and since the decision to raise their daughter Jewish and send her to a Jewish school was already agreed upon, I see no reason why her parent's divorce should change that -- especially since Rebecca has full custody.
If you are wondering how Rebecca found out about the father-daughter trip to Mass to begin with, well, Reyes called the media and sent his wife pictures to commemorate the occasion. I guess if it looks and smells like revenge, it probably is.
Related: What Happened When My Family Got Religion Overnight
When Reyes decided to marry Rebecca, he agreed to convert, and in doing so, he renounced Jesus as his God and savior. Now he claims that he was coerced and was practicing Catholicism in secret -- a claim I personally find highly dubious. As a practicing Catholic myself, I feel comfortable saying that no serious Catholic would deny Jesus' divinity in order to placate a spouse, much less his in-laws, as Reyes asserts.
Catholic News Agency, a news Web site for Catholics, ran this story and a vast majority of the Catholics who commented on the story concur that not only should Reyes have not baptized his daughter, but that the priest should not have performed the baptism under these contentious conditions.
It's seems fairly obvious that Rebecca is the parent who is most deeply connected to her faith and traditions; and since the decision to raise their daughter Jewish and send her to a Jewish school was already agreed upon, I see no reason why her parent's divorce should change that -- especially since Rebecca has full custody.
If you are wondering how Rebecca found out about the father-daughter trip to Mass to begin with, well, Reyes called the media and sent his wife pictures to commemorate the occasion. I guess if it looks and smells like revenge, it probably is.
Related: What Happened When My Family Got Religion Overnight
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
3-03-2010 @ 6:46PM
Jay said...Time to go back to the '50s when women understood to "Stand by your man!!!"
Reply
3-03-2010 @ 4:20PM
Mandi Neumann said...I am surprised that the court system even stepped in. I am a religion professor and my husband is an attorney and we can tell you that if there is 2 separate religions in the household, then both are considered okay unless we are talking about a religion that involves possible harm to children like snacks, non recognized religions etc. I myself would NEVER deny Jesus as the Lord and Savior so this sounds more like revenge than anything else. It is just sad that a father would do something like this to get back at his ex. The great thing about our Lord is that if we come to him with a repenting heart, he will forgive us.
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3-03-2010 @ 9:47PM
Revase said...Rachel has a point if her assumptions are correct, but how can you really disprove his motives? I am also a practicing catholic but who am I to say that he's not telling the truth. Don't people have "religious epiphanies" all the time? (especially catholics?) In any case, it goes without saying that in a divorce broken promises comes with the territory. He should have the right to expose his daughter to his beliefs as much as the mother does. Why not look at it as a well rounded religious education? I teach my own children about other religions and I think it teaches them to respect others and their beliefs and to embrace our differences. You must also have faith in your children that they will follow their hearts and do what they feel is right for themselves.
Reply
3-03-2010 @ 10:39PM
ninainindia said...I do not understand why the mother's religion would get preference over the father's religion.
They should raise the child without any religion at all so she can choose if she wants to follow on when she is old enough.
Reply
3-03-2010 @ 11:28PM
RM said...I LOVE MY JEWISH BROTHER'S AND SISTER'S. BUT I COULD NEVER CONVERT TO RELIGION. THEY DON'T BELIEVE IN THE JESUS I BELIEVE IN AND TO CONVERT WOULD BE TO TURN MY BACK ON JESUS, AND SAY HE ISN'T REAL. HE TELL S ME THAT IF I TELL PEOPLE I BELIEVE IN HIM, HE WILL TELL HIS FATHER IN HEAVEN HE BELIEVES IN ME.
Reply
3-04-2010 @ 12:45AM
mbjisajjfan said...I had no idea a judge could tell you which religion you are allowed to expose your children to
crazy...
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3-04-2010 @ 8:46AM
Meanstr said...When he wanted the Woman he was thinking with the bottom half of his body,Now that the relationship is over what he did was not for Religion but for revenge.Ban him for having anything to do with the Kid till the kid is 18, For all he would do at this time is clause problems for the kid and his ex.I do not know who ended the Marrage but he is diffinitly bitter
.
Reply
3-04-2010 @ 10:50AM
Bev said...Rachel I'm so impressed you took on this subject and even more impressed that you sided with the Jewish mother!!
As a Jewish woman I find it tragic that a husband would choose revenge in such a manner - using religion. I have read up on this case and it is clearly revenge. He converted - as Rachel stated if he were truly a believer he would never have converted in the first place. I know this for a fact because I come from a DEVOUT Catholic family and I choose to convert to Judaism in my early 20s. I was never really Catholic - the religion never sat right with me and while some see it as "denying" Jesus, I never accepted him as the savoir/messiah in the first place (my soul was always Jewish). So I know the difficulties of having different faiths in a family so I knew when I married it would be to someone Jewish, just to not complicate things further.
The courts were absolutely right in their judgement. The parents agreed to raise the girl Jewish. You really cannot be both a Christian and a Jew - the two faiths are based on very different premises. There is a world of difference between exposure to a religion and participation in the religion. My children, while exposed to Catholicism by virtue of having Catholic grandparents/aunts/uncles/cousins are in no way practicing nor would they participate in the religious aspects of any other religion. I would be horrified if my parents had ever baptized my child and my parents would never do such a thing. They are fully Jewish and it is not acceptable or even possible for them to take part in another religion, nor do they have any desire to.
I'm shocked that more people aren't totally shocked/offended by this incident. If the situation were reversed, if the girl were to be raised Christian and suddenly the mother refused to let her participate or let her acknowledge jesus people would be up in arms over this.
Reply
6-10-2010 @ 4:18PM
Ellen said...I agree with you and comment further that Jews do not deny Jesus' existence but, according to an Orthodox rabbi of my acquaintance, regard him--a fellow Jew--as an honored prophet. As for the situation described in the story, the husband mean-spiritedly violated the contract which he had with his wife: that the child was to be raised as a Jew. And, if he willingly converted to Judaism (which is a difficult thing to do) then he is a hypocrite as well if he takes the child to Catholic Mass. Moreover, if he is still Jewish, what is he doing at a Catholic Mass? Has he renounced Judaism and become Catholic again? If not, then he is taking his child to Mass out of spite--is this how he honors God?
3-08-2010 @ 8:57AM
P Smith said...This case is typical of religious people, both the story and the comments that precede mine: they view their own as "right" and will act hypocritically depending on whether or not they are getting their way.
All religions teach an absolutist "thinking" that their views are right and no one else's. Expecting people to "convert" before or after a marriage is idiocy, and expecting someone of a different religion to respect your own is just as stupid.
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3-06-2010 @ 9:15PM
Sifrina said...Thank you for this story. We know a family going through this right now and the issue there is isn't just religion but that the parents (who have been divorced for years and have since remarried) STILL can't agree on anything, including what kind of professional help one of their troubled daughters needs. It's so sad.
My husband and I come from different religious backgrounds (I'm Jewish and my husband is part Jewish and not raised as Jewish) but we both share the same views on almost all subjects, not just religion, and there's no question our son is Jewish, both under Jewish law and how he is raised. But more importantly, if anything ever happened to our marriage I'm confident we could put aside our urge to be hurtful and vengeful for the sake of our son, who means more to us than anything (including religion).
It would have been just as bad parenting if the Jewish parent was trying to convert a Catholic child. And this may sound a bit sexist but I think women have an added responsibility to protect their children (and future children) by doing everything in their power to establish an emotionally, financially stable and safe situation for their children - before the children are born. As I tell all my friends, you have to be sure about who you are mating with before you bring an innocent child into your lives!
Reply
3-23-2010 @ 2:59PM
Cherie said...As a confirmed agnostic, may I recommend the book "god is not great: how religion poisons everything" by Christopher Hitchens. A great book. It really made me think about things I hadn't even considered.
Reply
9-23-2010 @ 9:49PM
Heidi said...My 17 year old daughter read it last year and has been nagging me to read it ever since.
6-11-2010 @ 6:17PM
chris said...Here's an interesting idea:
How about...gasp... you let your child grow up and then decide if and how they're going to practice religion and what particular brand of it they choose to honor, should they choose to worship. If you actually let your offspring think for themselves and make a decision based on their own beliefs, maybe you wouldn't have these crazy custody battles because each parent wants the kid brainwashed their own way.
Reply