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SmackDown: Should a Lesbian's Child be Kicked Out of Catholic School?
Filed under: Opinions
Catholic School is No Place for Kids With Gay Parents.
by Rachel Campos-Duffy
The decision by the Sacred Heart of Jesus School in Boulder, Colo. and the Archdiocese of Denver not to re-enroll the preschool child of two lesbian mothers is one that protects the rights of private schools and the families they serve.
As a Catholic school parent myself, I expect my school to stand up for the right to an authentic alternative to secular, public education. After all, that's why we're making financial and personal sacrifices to send our kids to Catholic school.
A private school, especially a religious private school, has a very different mission than a public school. In addition to academic excellence, the staff and faculty of a Catholic school is also charged with the religious and doctrinal formation of its students. Its job is to make seamless the values and moral teachings taught at church, home and school; its reputation and marketability, in this case, to Catholic families, depends on its "Catholic identity" or as some call it, its "Catholic culture."
The Archdiocese of Denver's position when it comes to the children of openly homosexual couples is that, "to allow children in these circumstances to continue in our school would be a cause of confusion for the student in that what they are being taught in school conflicts with what they experience in the home."
From a Catholic perspective, that seems perfectly fair. A Catholic school that bends the rules or makes exceptions to long-established moral teachings puts its financial viability and its very existence in jeopardy. Why would parents set aside hard-earned after-tax dollars to get the same secular and morally-relativistic culture and curriculum offered at public schools?
Catholic "lite" just won't cut it and when Catholic schools give in to pressure from outside groups like the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) and others who don't have a vested interest in the full mission of Catholic schools, parents figure that they might as well save the cash and send their kids to public school.
The Archdiocese says that it is not the school that has chosen to disqualify the child from enrollment, but rather the parents who are "living in open discord with Catholic teaching in areas of faith."
GLAAD calls this discriminatory and makes emotional and specious arguments for why a private institution should be forced to "accept" their worldview. They claim the school, and, by extension, the Catholic Church, are emotionally harming the child and singling him/her out for the actions of the parents.
However, when it comes to certain moral teachings -- particularly homosexuality -- the position of the Catholic Church is hardly a secret. There's no way these moms could not have known about it.
The question in my mind, then, is why did they enroll their child in Catholic preschool? What was their motivation? Given the Church's very public position on the matter how could they have expected a different outcome?
The Catholic school was doing its job. If the goal in enrolling their child was to make a political point, then maybe these moms weren't doing theirs.
Tom and I want to know where you stand. So, tell us, whose side are you on? Is the Archdiocese of Denver doing the right thing, or not?
If They Allow Divorced Families, Why Not Gay Families?
by Tom Henderson
What if this little girl had divorced parents? What if she was born out of wedlock? What if her father cheated on her mother? Would she still be banned from kindergarten at the Sacred Heart of Jesus School in Boulder, Colo.?
Somehow, I doubt it.
But neither can I assail the logic of the Archdiocese of Denver for excluding her because her parents are lesbians.
No one is forced to be Catholic. (Not anymore, anyway.) To be Catholic, means to accept certain points of church doctrine. One of them is that homosexuality is a sin. Holy Mother Church is quite specific about that. Archdiocese officials are well within their First-Amendment rights and perfectly in keeping with church teaching on homosexuality.
However, the church also teaches other things. It is equally explicit about divorce, adultery and fornication -- sins just as bad as homosexuality. Probably worse, when you think about it. They certainly pose greater risks to the traditional family. A lot more marriages disintegrate because of infidelity than from the people down the street being gay.
The little girl in Boulder attended preschool at Sacred Heart of Jesus this year. Archdiocese officials didn't do a thing about it because, well, they didn't know her mothers are lesbians. That's mostly because it's none of their business. When they found out, they made it their business -- telling the parents their daughter can finish out the year but can't enroll in preschool next fall.
So what would the Archdiocese do if church officials found out that other parents were leading less-than-godly lives under church doctrine? Probably nothing.
Any prying -- let alone any official action -- would be seen as an invasion of privacy. Same-sex couples can't hide their private lives as easy as cheating husbands. Does that make their privacy and personal lives less sacred?
Parents often say they choose private, religious schools to give their children a safe haven from the situational ethics and conditional morality of secular society. They want a place where right is right and wrong is wrong. No discussion. End of story. Amen.
However, the church in this instance cannot avoid conditional morality. By barring the child of lesbians, it is saying that church teachings apply only to homosexuality. All other sins, no matter their severity, get a free pass.
The church is also saying your private life is your own, unless you happen to be gay.
Sacred Heart of Christ's pastor, Father William Breslin, said his concern is for the little girl. "If a child of gay parents comes to our school, and we teach that gay marriage is against the will of God, then the child will think that we are saying their parents are bad," Breslin writes in his blog. "We don't want to put any child in that tough position."
What is the child of a divorced parents going to think about church teaching on divorce? For that matter, if the feelings of this little girl are important, what must she be feeling right now? This painful episode -- and it is painful for all concerned -- demonstrates the need for the Catholic church to evolve its thinking on homosexuality.
This is nothing radical. Church doctrine has often evolved to reflect broadening social awareness on issues ranging from war to slave trade. In fact, the Catholic church has a proud tradition of championing social justice and progress -- especially in the last hundred years.
It's sad that its record on gay rights is not so sterling. You can think homosexuality is a sin. You can talk about hating the sin and loving the sinner. But as long as the sinner is singled out for unique punishment, that message is always going to ring hollow.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 2)
3-10-2010 @ 6:21AM
Ed said...If the Catholic school wants parents to live "upstanding Catholic moral lives" then maybe they need to expel children whose parents have 1) been divorced (either of them), 2) have remarried, 3) have used birth control, 4) have had an affair, 5) aren't married, or 6) have molested a child. Also, maybe the school should apply these standards to its faculty. After all the kids spend HOURS at school with them.
Reply
9-04-2010 @ 12:57AM
Mickey said...The teachings of God, are to forgive, to love everyone, to not judge,yet these people of the catholic church,are judging, is that not God's job?
I agree, if gays are out lawed,because its against the church, then throw out divorced couples, unwed mothers,bigots,drug addicts,or anyone who doesn't conform.
It also sends a message to the child that if, you don't follow those perscribed beliefs,your not accepted!! Are we really that shallow minded?This country is a melting pot, all colors, shapes, nationalities,religons and sexual preferences. We as a people need to be more accepting.It is not up to us to judge,or make those kinds of judgements. Let people be who and what they are.Only God has to be answered to, not us!!!
9-04-2010 @ 1:00AM
Mickey said...You are so right ED, I agree 100%!!!!
3-10-2010 @ 7:21AM
Cait said...The Archdiocese was absolutely correct in their decision. I have to wonder, why did these mothers enroll their child in a school whose fundamental principles opposes their lifestyle?
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3-10-2010 @ 1:33PM
Elizabeth said...Doesn't the Catholic church teach hate the sin but love the sinner? Didn't Jesus say Judge not lest ye be judged and let the little children come unto me? It used to, but maybe not anymore. It seems to me that the arch diocese isn't practicing what they preach. Regardless if you agree with the lifestyle choice or not, the little girl isn't the one practicing it and she is the one who will miss out on a good education because of the narrow minds of a few old celebate men and women. Perhaps the women chose the school thinking that as Christians the number one lesson Jesus taught was forgiveness and that their non-traditional lifestyle wouldn't be an issue because of this fact. Why are they punishing the little girl for the "sins" of her parents? That's not right at all.
3-31-2010 @ 6:41PM
Steve Brooks said...Maybe because they believe in the overall teachings of the religion. Why should they have to abandon the faith they believe in because of one narrow-minded position?
5-06-2010 @ 1:56PM
cristina said...Cait,
Didn't you read anything? I am a Catholic and I know for sure that while homosexuality is a sin so is divorce, birth control, infidelity,and rape. I am sure if tiger wood's children wanted to go to the top private catholic school they would event though he has openly admitted to cheating and breaking the union of marriage more then once.... hmmm what make one sin worse then another?
12-04-2010 @ 10:37AM
lori Kleist said...They most likely wanted trouble and publicity. And all of the people that have a problem with the Archdiocese decision need to take it up with God for He established the Church and ultimately this decision was Gods!
3-10-2010 @ 9:02AM
Lynda said...I have to agree with their decision. Why confuse the child? There are other religions that accept gay marriages.
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3-10-2010 @ 9:24AM
philipcfromnyc said...This decision reveals the Archdiocese to be a vipers' nest of hypocrites who, far from believing that all sins are transgressions against God and should all be treated with equal condemnation, clearly believe in moral relativism and situational ethics, even as they self-righteously pretend to condemn such "sliding scale" morality.
So they claim to be concerned about placing the little girl in the position of knowing that the Church disapproves of her mothers' sexual orientation. What have they done to this little girl by expelling her? Have they made her feel better about her family status? Have they shown this little girl the principles of non-judgmentalism so piously preached by those who claim to be members of the Catholic faith?
When all is said and done -- when one examines the behaviour of the Church relative to this little girl's mothers versus the behaviour of the Church relative to the divorced and remarried parents of many, many other children -- the Church has shown itself to be morally depraved, utterly lacking in qualities such as compassion, and -- in a word -- evil.
Let's call it what it is.
PHILIP CHANDLER
Reply
3-10-2010 @ 10:29AM
melissa said...I am an agnostic, and could care less who the Catholic Church does..or doesn't welcome. I do, however, respect their views and teachings. that was the PARENTS choice to send them there, even knowing how the church sees homosexuality as sin. So they shouldn't be suprised. I am all for equal rights for all, no matter what color or sexuality... but come on... honestly..who didn't know this was coming?
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3-10-2010 @ 10:18AM
SKL said...I don't like the decision personally, but I support this non-governmental organization's right to decide. If you're a lesbian couple, you have to know this is a possibility, do your research, and find out their policy in advance. I think it's wrong for homosexuals or anyone else to drag a religious organization into the politics of PC or gay rights or a lot of other thing. That is not fair to the other families, many of whom send their kids to these schools partly so that these kinds of topics are not prominently in their young kids' faces.
I don't like the decision because the logic behind it would apply to many innocent situations. My kids, for example, were born out of wedlock - before I adopted them. I am a single mom. Two strikes against my girls, and they haven't done a thing wrong, and in my opinion, neither have I. Even though the Bible says that God visits the sins of the fathers onto the children for generations, it is hard to accept that the church would reject children based on something they didn't even do. The divorce example is another one. Also, have they demonstrated a zero tolerance policy regarding any sexual misbehavior on the part of their clergy, nuns, teachers, and each other parent associated with the school? But while I feel the decision is misguided, I feel it is their right to make a misguided decision. The child can still get a spiritual and academic education elsewhere. And frankly, why would you want to put your child in a church or school where your family is held in contempt?
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3-10-2010 @ 12:16PM
spackle said...What part about "private" school do these people not understand? The lesbian parents threw out the "victim" card as soon as it suited them. Liberals don't believe in the Catholic church, why did they send their children there? Because they wanted to force the church into changing the rules.
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3-10-2010 @ 2:26PM
philipcfromnyc said...Did it not occur to you -- for even a moment -- that the lesbian couple who placed their child in this school may have done so in the naive belief that this school would provide their daughter with a solid education, grounded in the first of Christian principles -- being the golden rule? Did it not occur to you -- for even a moment -- that this couple may have thought that the school would stress values such as personal responsibility and reward for hard work? Did not not occur to you -- for even a moment -- that this couple may have thought that the school in question would adhere to Christian principles of not judging the innocent?
A child has been hurt here. People seem to overlook this fact in their desire to ascribe blame and to point fingers at the gay couple, who may have laboured under the delusion that the school would teach their daughter about Christian values such as compassion and mercy...
Stop looking into the souls of the gay parents, and have some compassion for the child -- who has been branded as "defective" by the church as the result of this grotesque parody of human decency and morality.
PHILIP CHANDLER
3-10-2010 @ 11:35PM
quincey said...I just wanted to say that I commend this couple for wanting their child to have morals and to know God. I personally don't agree with homosexuality, but in the eyes of God sin is sin. Their sin should not be singled out. They knew the Catholic church's stand on homosexuality before they enrolled her in preschool but they want to raise their child Catholic despite that. I also know that there was not a written policy at that school regarding homosexuality before this came to light.
They obviously don't agree with the church on this issue, but they still recongnize the need to have God in their lives. The church is filled with sinners and hurting people. We need to extend loving arms to people because Jesus absolutely would have done so!
I have read a lot of comments about this. It is very easy for someone not involved to make bold, harsh, and sometimes judgemental statements, but if they had a loved one going through this they would be feeling their pain.
Please remember, that these parents did not start this media frenzy. There were many upset parents of the school that were not happy about the decision that was made.
.
3-10-2010 @ 12:24PM
ruduko said...Sell your crap somewhere else.
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3-10-2010 @ 12:46PM
Jilli said...Hmmm....child mollestation and sodomy aren't enough to get priests thrown out of the church, but living a gay lifestyle and sucessfully parenting a child is grounds for denying a parochial education?
Organized religion is a cancer to spirituality.
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4-12-2010 @ 7:46PM
falkowskic said...Jill, unfortunately I must agree with you, as sad as it makes me. I am, at the moment "unchurched" while I look for a community with Christian faith and a lack of hypocracy. It is not easy. But I will find a home. The state of the Catholic church fills me with great sadness. I left it because I loved it but could not accept its teachings and I could not dishonor it by being a "cafeteria Catholic" accepting some teachings and rejecting others. The current state of the church is disheartening and disgusting. I pray for it and its leaders daily.
As a child of divorce, I attended Catholic schools and did OK because some individual religious were family friends and knew the situation. I had hoped that this could still be, but alas this is not the case. Perhaps the parents could look into Episcopal schools which are generally more open-minded.
3-10-2010 @ 1:54PM
Al said...@Elizabeth:
The Catholic church and catholic schools say/teach a lot of things... Unfortunately they also have a pretty epic history of not practising what they preach. Love your neighbour, right, Rachel? Just as long as your neighbour isn't gay.
What a great lesson to teach kids.
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4-12-2010 @ 7:46PM
falkowskic said...remember this is the church of the Inquisition and the Crusades. At least they are not physically killing those who hold different beliefs. Now if they could stop killing the spirits of, for example, all the abused children.