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Filed under: Opinions
Catholic School is No Place for Kids With Gay Parents.
by Rachel Campos-Duffy
The decision by the Sacred Heart of Jesus School in Boulder, Colo. and the Archdiocese of Denver not to re-enroll the preschool child of two lesbian mothers is one that protects the rights of private schools and the families they serve.
As a Catholic school parent myself, I expect my school to stand up for the right to an authentic alternative to secular, public education. After all, that's why we're making financial and personal sacrifices to send our kids to Catholic school.
A private school, especially a religious private school, has a very different mission than a public school. In addition to academic excellence, the staff and faculty of a Catholic school is also charged with the religious and doctrinal formation of its students. Its job is to make seamless the values and moral teachings taught at church, home and school; its reputation and marketability, in this case, to Catholic families, depends on its "Catholic identity" or as some call it, its "Catholic culture."
The Archdiocese of Denver's position when it comes to the children of openly homosexual couples is that, "to allow children in these circumstances to continue in our school would be a cause of confusion for the student in that what they are being taught in school conflicts with what they experience in the home."
From a Catholic perspective, that seems perfectly fair. A Catholic school that bends the rules or makes exceptions to long-established moral teachings puts its financial viability and its very existence in jeopardy. Why would parents set aside hard-earned after-tax dollars to get the same secular and morally-relativistic culture and curriculum offered at public schools?
Catholic "lite" just won't cut it and when Catholic schools give in to pressure from outside groups like the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) and others who don't have a vested interest in the full mission of Catholic schools, parents figure that they might as well save the cash and send their kids to public school.
The Archdiocese says that it is not the school that has chosen to disqualify the child from enrollment, but rather the parents who are "living in open discord with Catholic teaching in areas of faith."
GLAAD calls this discriminatory and makes emotional and specious arguments for why a private institution should be forced to "accept" their worldview. They claim the school, and, by extension, the Catholic Church, are emotionally harming the child and singling him/her out for the actions of the parents.
However, when it comes to certain moral teachings -- particularly homosexuality -- the position of the Catholic Church is hardly a secret. There's no way these moms could not have known about it.
The question in my mind, then, is why did they enroll their child in Catholic preschool? What was their motivation? Given the Church's very public position on the matter how could they have expected a different outcome?
The Catholic school was doing its job. If the goal in enrolling their child was to make a political point, then maybe these moms weren't doing theirs.
Tom and I want to know where you stand. So, tell us, whose side are you on? Is the Archdiocese of Denver doing the right thing, or not?
If They Allow Divorced Families, Why Not Gay Families?
by Tom Henderson
What if this little girl had divorced parents? What if she was born out of wedlock? What if her father cheated on her mother? Would she still be banned from kindergarten at the Sacred Heart of Jesus School in Boulder, Colo.?
Somehow, I doubt it.
But neither can I assail the logic of the Archdiocese of Denver for excluding her because her parents are lesbians.
No one is forced to be Catholic. (Not anymore, anyway.) To be Catholic, means to accept certain points of church doctrine. One of them is that homosexuality is a sin. Holy Mother Church is quite specific about that. Archdiocese officials are well within their First-Amendment rights and perfectly in keeping with church teaching on homosexuality.
However, the church also teaches other things. It is equally explicit about divorce, adultery and fornication -- sins just as bad as homosexuality. Probably worse, when you think about it. They certainly pose greater risks to the traditional family. A lot more marriages disintegrate because of infidelity than from the people down the street being gay.
The little girl in Boulder attended preschool at Sacred Heart of Jesus this year. Archdiocese officials didn't do a thing about it because, well, they didn't know her mothers are lesbians. That's mostly because it's none of their business. When they found out, they made it their business -- telling the parents their daughter can finish out the year but can't enroll in preschool next fall.
So what would the Archdiocese do if church officials found out that other parents were leading less-than-godly lives under church doctrine? Probably nothing.
Any prying -- let alone any official action -- would be seen as an invasion of privacy. Same-sex couples can't hide their private lives as easy as cheating husbands. Does that make their privacy and personal lives less sacred?
Parents often say they choose private, religious schools to give their children a safe haven from the situational ethics and conditional morality of secular society. They want a place where right is right and wrong is wrong. No discussion. End of story. Amen.
However, the church in this instance cannot avoid conditional morality. By barring the child of lesbians, it is saying that church teachings apply only to homosexuality. All other sins, no matter their severity, get a free pass.
The church is also saying your private life is your own, unless you happen to be gay.
Sacred Heart of Christ's pastor, Father William Breslin, said his concern is for the little girl. "If a child of gay parents comes to our school, and we teach that gay marriage is against the will of God, then the child will think that we are saying their parents are bad," Breslin writes in his blog. "We don't want to put any child in that tough position."
What is the child of a divorced parents going to think about church teaching on divorce? For that matter, if the feelings of this little girl are important, what must she be feeling right now? This painful episode -- and it is painful for all concerned -- demonstrates the need for the Catholic church to evolve its thinking on homosexuality.
This is nothing radical. Church doctrine has often evolved to reflect broadening social awareness on issues ranging from war to slave trade. In fact, the Catholic church has a proud tradition of championing social justice and progress -- especially in the last hundred years.
It's sad that its record on gay rights is not so sterling. You can think homosexuality is a sin. You can talk about hating the sin and loving the sinner. But as long as the sinner is singled out for unique punishment, that message is always going to ring hollow.
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ReaderComments (Page 2 of 2)
3-10-2010 @ 2:41PM
mcasamayor said...By now, everyone knows how the Catholic Church feels about gay marriage, therefore, I can't help but think these ladies may have a hidden agenda. I wonder when they will sue the Archdiocese??
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3-10-2010 @ 9:53PM
recoveredobj said...others have directly responded to your highly dubious accusation. that it is odd, to say the least, and absolutely indicative to a presumption against equal rights (regardless of proclaimed belief in it to the contrary) that you would ASSUME that the parents were using not only a child, but a very young one, to 'make a point'. You clearly think they are a suspect class already, so thanks for making the argument for those of us who actually believe in equal rights and justice.
But, my extra two cents: where the hell did you people grow up? I grew up with catholics. There are lots of catholic parishes that are gay friendly, that have schools with kids who have gay parents. It would be fairly easy to think, in a liberal urban city, that the catholic school wouldn't even notice or care, or maybe even be friendly. I have read about mean, bigoted, stone age catholics, but i've known so many actual catholics, and not one like that, that it's difficult for me to understand your point at all. Seriously, I would hate to have to have grown up with the cruel caricatures of catholics you people seem to only know.
3-11-2010 @ 1:41PM
julie kristine said...I think the biggest surprise for me is the fact that this took place in Boulder, Colorado! Boulder is one of the most progressive places around. I don't think this particular church is serving the needs of their local parishioners. I'll bet that the majority would have no problem with with this innocent kid, nor her parents, at the preschool. Does the church pastor think that this kid will matter of factly say that she has two mommies? Oh no! My gosh, kids will come to learn that this is normal and healthy. We can't have that!
If the church (small c) had a morally superior message, they would welcome but openly debate this child's parents "lifestyle". Since love trumps everything else ( which of these is the greatest commandment teacher?), I think the Church would lose the moral high ground- and they know it. Better to suppress and hide away families like this little girls than have to defend their position on flawed moral grounds.
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3-13-2010 @ 9:21AM
JLF said...Sin is not something we should wear on our sleeves, brag about or try to force others to accept. While we do all sin (and I believe that all sin is equally sad to God), sinning is shameful. That is the difference between homosexual sin and most other sins, homosexuals want everyone to embrace their sin. The Catholic School is not accepting the sins of these women, women who used children as pawns; it is holding true to the moral value of heterosexual love/relationships. It is reminding these women that what they say and do is harming the children and needs to be resolved. The women's agenda seems to be to to force their sin unto others, and they began with their children.
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4-13-2010 @ 7:46PM
Ruth said...If you truly follow the Catholic, you mush forgive a sinner, not have sex unless you want to have more children They say that you are only to have sex to procreate. So if you don't want anymore children and aftr a woman has gone thru the the change and can no longer have children than no sex. I would love to know how many people who are Catholics, or send their kids to Catholic school have their kids kicked out if they don't follow these rules.
Ruth
3-13-2010 @ 3:09PM
40yrMom said..."Ahhhhh, but what about the children?" Yes! What about the children? All the other children in the school whose parents now have to explain to them a scandalous situation that they shouldn't have to?
I have a friend who said she was appalled at the schools decision and that is why she would never send her kids to a Catholic school. To which I say, great -- that I can respect. Why would you send your child to a school whose philosophy and identity you disagree with? Can the lesbian couple answer that?
As for those who compare it to kicking out all other sinners -- it's not the same at all. If a parent at that school had an affair or was living some compromising lifestyle, they have the opportunity to admit they were wrong and be forgiven. You can't forgive someone who's not sorry. Does the lesbian couple think they are wrong? I don't think so. So NOT the same.
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3-15-2010 @ 9:21AM
Larry said...Hey Rachel - What happened this past weekend? I heard you were at a rally where they were showing the pro-gay marriage video you and your husband starred in after you both were on the Real World. I heard they had to call the police on you because you were so upset that it was being shown. Between being in the video and then being aggressive enough to have the police called, not a very good conservative mom example to set for your kids, huh?
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3-31-2010 @ 9:39PM
Sifrina said...I think it is wrong to discriminate based on sexual orientation; however, Rachel is absolutely correct that this is the school's right. It's a private religious organization so it can be as narrow-minded and discriminatory as it wants to be. I do believe that school did not make this decision lightly and probably with only genuine regard for its beliefs.
Personally, I don't get why a gay couple would want to send their kids to a place that will teach their child that their loving, healthy, positive relationship is wrong, but I have an atheist friend sending her daughter to a Catholic High School next year, simply because it has the best lacrosse program around and her daughter is lacrosse obsessed (should my friend's daughter be dismissed on account of her atheist mom?). Not exactly how I'd choose an independent school but, oh well.
For the little girl and her family, hang in there - attitudes are changing! Younger generations are much more accepting. Even First Lady Laura Bush stated in a speech I heard that she sees homosexual equality rights being protected by the Courts as an eventuality. Gay couples can legally marry in DC now. Many employers (such as mine) already have anti-discrimination policies in place and all of this will grow and homosexuals in this country will enjoy the same rights as their counterparts in over a dozen European countries. This will happen, despite how hard the Catholic Church tries to fight it.
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4-03-2010 @ 3:01AM
Ms. Lisa said...But I thought that Jesus loved EVERYBODY, not just those who agreed with him...
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4-13-2010 @ 2:27PM
Tara said...Are you serious? When did Catholics start alienating children for the 'sins' of their parents? I missed the memo.
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4-21-2010 @ 8:02PM
AWW said...I can understand both sides of this discussion, but am thankful that I did not "protect" my children or whatever you might call it... My brother is gay and my children understood what that was from a very early age and have had a good relationship with their uncles. Our lives would not be as full without them. We need to be careful about showing/teaching prejudice or showing/teaching tolerance.
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4-29-2010 @ 3:35PM
Lilsonic said...Welllllll... I have read all the comments on this page, some of you I have agreed with & some i really haven't agreed with .....My thoughts are, the 2 worst things that were ever created are politics & religion.........The 2 things that have started most wars ! Man we are talking about a cathlic church that has priests, admitting homosexual acts, mollesting & sodomy, call it what you will !!.......... that are under investigations for corrupt behaviour lol, hhhmmm I haven't heard any preist being kicked out of his holliness house for such acts ? ....But yet they are making it their bussiness about 2 women that don't live in his holliness house
& punish an innocent chid !! .....I have to say I agree with Julie Kristen, I believe the church would loose this battle on moral grounds .......
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12-04-2010 @ 10:36AM
lori kleist said...I think that the Catholic Church did the right thing. I am sending my children to a Catholic School and I would home school them if the school gave me basically nothing more than the public schools. Catholics need more of an understanding on their faith so that they can grow in Christ. Watered down, publically correct, mumbo jumbo is not the way to heaven...just read scripture!
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