Her Baby Name Sounds Like a Bad Joke
Filed under: Baby Names
An acquaintance who's due in two months just announced her choice for her baby's name. I immediately noticed the potential for a pun in the name, but I don't think she realizes it's there. Should we tell her, so at least she is aware and makes her choice with all the information, or should we just let it go since she has already fallen for the name?
- Trying to Avoid Ben Dover
A creative schoolyard bully can make a teasing nickname out of almost anything. Some names, though, are like giant bullseyes for taunts. It takes a strong kid to live with a name like "Benjamin Dover" or "Candace Barr."
If you noticed the pun in this baby name so immediately, there's a good chance that other friends and family members have already made your point for you. The mom may have decided that her love for the name outweighs any teasing drawbacks. Still, there's a chance that "Mrs. Dover" is both clueless and pun-averse, and it would be a kindness to warn her -- tactfully -- of the likelihood of "bend over" jokes in her family's future.
What you need is an "elevator button" speech. You know that pressing an elevator button more than once does nothing to make it arrive faster, right? Giving advice often works the same way ... and unlike elevators, people get annoyed when you keep pressing them. So plan to make your point once, wait for it to have an effect, and never, ever bring it up again.
Based on your knowledge of the mom's personality, decide on the best way to broach this subject: off-hand, like you just realized the pun; jokingly, like you think the connotation is humorous, but not necessarily undesirable; or frankly, acknowledging that you've been considering this for some time. Whichever strategy you choose, make sure to compliment her name choice and assure her that you think it's fine and lovely.
Then stand back and wait to see if the elevator arrives. If it doesn't -- if she sticks to her puns (ahem) in spite of all your wisdom -- you'll have spoken your mind and preserved your relationship, which ought to give you comfort as you struggle not to giggle at the birth announcement.
Related: Food'lebrities Feeds Our Appetite for Punstruction











ReaderComments (Page 1 of 12)
3-11-2010 @ 11:25AM
Ginny said...I used to work with a lady whose daughter was named Kelly Green. I sorta laughed and said, "Kelly Green, how cute!" and she didn't know what I meant. Her daughter was 9 years old by then and nobody had told her that Kelly Green is a color.
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3-12-2010 @ 7:48AM
Oracle Of Ephrata said...During my high school years, a neighbor's daughter was named Sandy Beech. Interestingly, her fellow classmates thought that was a pretty cool name.....
3-12-2010 @ 8:38AM
L.A. said...My wife once worked at a school and the superintendents name was Jack Hoff. When she told me I laughed, she hadn't noticed what the name sounded like until I told her. The male mind at work, I guess.
3-12-2010 @ 12:24PM
Erin said...I used to work for Philadelphia Family court and let me tell you there were some names that made you think there had to be a hidden camera somewhere watching your reaction. I will cite just a few to give you an example... Richard Hair and Richard Hair Jr. (Big dick hair and little dick hair); April May June; Ima Frisbee; Dennis Dickgrabber; and the peice de resistance..... are you ready??? SHITHEAD!!!!!!!!! Pronounced Sha-heed... That one I printed out and have hanging on my bulletin board... it's like ARE YOU SERIOUS with these names? Poor Poor children!
3-12-2010 @ 1:12PM
Karin said...I knew the a man named Rhodes whos nickname was Rocky. He named his kids Dusty and Sandy.
3-12-2010 @ 1:21PM
kelly said...LOL :)
My maiden name is Green, first name Kelly. I always liked having a name same as a color. I still go by Kelly Green a lot of times.
3-11-2010 @ 11:56AM
Maria said...If the name is really bad, the poor kid can always legally change it once s/he is old enough. That's not always comforting after a childhood's worth of issues have been developed, but it's something.
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3-11-2010 @ 5:27PM
Rebecca said...When I was pregnant with my oldest child, we had a name picked out that I loved. It was pointed out to me (gently) that the initials spelled a horrible word. I was very grateful that it was pointed out to me (my husband & I certainly hadn't noticed), and we promptly changed the middle name. Definitely figure out a way to let this mother-to-be know that she's setting her child up for a lifetime of teasing.
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3-11-2010 @ 7:41PM
Allie said...I went to school with a child named Harry Glass! You can probably guess how much ribbing he received!
3-12-2010 @ 10:58AM
Carla Peele said...I loved the name Violet Dominica. I still do think it is beautiful, but my husband refuses it for when we have a girl, saying, "My daughter will not have the initials VD! She'll hate us..."
3-12-2010 @ 6:21AM
Steve said...When I was born, the first, middle, and last initials of my full name would have been SSA. Luckily, my parents realized that right before I was born so they changed their mind and my initials are something different.
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3-12-2010 @ 12:05PM
Kelly said...I know what you mean,I have a brother who's initials are GAS.He was picked on all the time.
3-12-2010 @ 3:01PM
harisahmed11 said...one of my best freinds initials are EMO haha! hes a good sport about it though lol
3-12-2010 @ 6:44AM
KatieCouric'sNemesis said...Oh, for god's sake, quit handling people with kid gloves. If you think the name she's chosen has the potential to scar a kid for life, then come right out and tell her. If she has a brain in her head, she'll thank you. If she gets offended, then she wasn't much of a friend to begin with and you're better off without her. Thank your lucky stars--you won't have to stifle the guffaws when you say the kid's name for the next decade or so--until the kid figures it out and chooses his own version of his name.
No matter what you call a child, the playground is the great equalizer. There will be nicknames. There will be teasing. Somehow, we all manage to live through it. So will this kid.
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3-12-2010 @ 6:48AM
Brenda said...I stood in line at a photo studio behind a woman who proudly proclaimed her infant son's name was Holden Cox. I laughed and she gave me a dirty look. I think everybody ought to think like a 12 year old boy when they consider their baby's name. If it can be made fun of, it definitely will.
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3-12-2010 @ 8:10AM
isreal said...i know an old lady that just passed whose name was Rosie Cheks...
another man my gran works for is mamed harry balls!
i have a 13 year old cousin going through it now...her name is alyahs (pronounced a- LAY -us) heaven hep her!
3-12-2010 @ 9:20AM
woody said...Hey! That's my last name too. For real, I knew of some family whose last name was Balls. The ol' man's nickname was Jumbo and his son was called Teeny. For real
3-12-2010 @ 6:54AM
Ed said...Here's another take on this subject....many years ago, young boys were sometimes addressed as Master..as in Master George Smith or Master William Jones, so anybody with the last name of "Bates" was surely in for a few raised eyebrows and a snicker or two.
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3-12-2010 @ 8:39AM
Cat said...I knew the Bates boys. They are now in their 50's and still called "Master Bates". (Of course they reply..."all the time!")
3-12-2010 @ 10:34AM
sluggo said...My brother had a buddy "Frank Futters". A very nice guy with the ability to knock the stuffing out of a heavy-weight bag. If anyone made jokes about his name, it was himself... with the girls.