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Opinion: Lesbian Teens Have Every Right to Attend Prom
Filed under: Opinions
In Mississippi, the Itawamba County school board told 18-year-old Constance McMillen that she was not allowed to bring her girlfriend to the prom, nor could she wear a tuxedo, only a dress. In doing so, they violated her First-Amendment rights.
This is basic discrimination. There was a time in our nation's history when black people were not allowed to dance in public with whites. Most Americans now see how wrong that was. This case is no different.
Just like when a teacher in New Orleans told a student last month that he was not allowed to wear an Indianapolis Colts jersey to school, Constance McMillen is being told that she may only express herself in a way that is approved by others.
That is the opposite of free speech.
Although this case is more serious than a football jersey, the principles are the same. If you support the rights of one group, you must support them for everyone. If straight students can choose whom they want to bring to a school-sponsored event, gay students must be able to do the same.
Constance McMillen was not interested in publicity. When she and her fellow students were informed, in writing, that any guests they brought to the prom "must be of the opposite sex," she had a private meeting with her principal to discuss the issue. After school officials reiterated their policy on the prom, the girl rightly contacted the ACLU, who felt it was necessary to sue the school.
Constance is not a rabble rouser. There is no "gay agenda" being followed here. She is a girl who would like to bring her date to the prom. The fact that her date happens to be a girl is irrelevant.
Since I strongly believe in respecting other people's views, I thought that there must be a reason why people charged with educating children would behave in such a reprehensible manner.
Other than the crazy conspiracy theories espoused by Steve Crampton of the Liberty Council, who said that this was "part of a larger agenda to implement homosexual rights in the schools," the best I could come up with was what Constance says she was told by her principal -- that seeing two girls dancing together, one dressed in a tuxedo, could make her fellow students "uncomfortable."
Since when is it acceptable to discriminate against someone in order to make someone else feel comfortable? No one -- not Constance McMillen, not the attorneys from the ACLU -- is saying that anyone has to like the fact that some people in this country are gay. Date who you want to date, and allow others the same privilege. Just because I'm lactose-intolerant doesn't mean I want to ban cheese.
In a way, my position is best summed up by a comment I don't even agree with. "Amanda" writes on ParentDish that she believes "homosexuality is completely wrong," but adds that "the way the school handled this situation is a complete violation of this girl's rights."
In other words, it doesn't matter how you feel about gay people. You can think that homosexuality is a sin. You even have the right to think two girls dancing together is weird.
But as long as other kids are going to the prom with dates, no one has the right to stop Constance and her date from this important rite of passage.
Chances are, this upheaval will become a bigger rite of passage than anyone at Itawamba ever imagined.
This is basic discrimination. There was a time in our nation's history when black people were not allowed to dance in public with whites. Most Americans now see how wrong that was. This case is no different.
Just like when a teacher in New Orleans told a student last month that he was not allowed to wear an Indianapolis Colts jersey to school, Constance McMillen is being told that she may only express herself in a way that is approved by others.
That is the opposite of free speech.
Although this case is more serious than a football jersey, the principles are the same. If you support the rights of one group, you must support them for everyone. If straight students can choose whom they want to bring to a school-sponsored event, gay students must be able to do the same.
Constance McMillen was not interested in publicity. When she and her fellow students were informed, in writing, that any guests they brought to the prom "must be of the opposite sex," she had a private meeting with her principal to discuss the issue. After school officials reiterated their policy on the prom, the girl rightly contacted the ACLU, who felt it was necessary to sue the school.
Constance is not a rabble rouser. There is no "gay agenda" being followed here. She is a girl who would like to bring her date to the prom. The fact that her date happens to be a girl is irrelevant.
Since I strongly believe in respecting other people's views, I thought that there must be a reason why people charged with educating children would behave in such a reprehensible manner.
Other than the crazy conspiracy theories espoused by Steve Crampton of the Liberty Council, who said that this was "part of a larger agenda to implement homosexual rights in the schools," the best I could come up with was what Constance says she was told by her principal -- that seeing two girls dancing together, one dressed in a tuxedo, could make her fellow students "uncomfortable."
Since when is it acceptable to discriminate against someone in order to make someone else feel comfortable? No one -- not Constance McMillen, not the attorneys from the ACLU -- is saying that anyone has to like the fact that some people in this country are gay. Date who you want to date, and allow others the same privilege. Just because I'm lactose-intolerant doesn't mean I want to ban cheese.
In a way, my position is best summed up by a comment I don't even agree with. "Amanda" writes on ParentDish that she believes "homosexuality is completely wrong," but adds that "the way the school handled this situation is a complete violation of this girl's rights."
In other words, it doesn't matter how you feel about gay people. You can think that homosexuality is a sin. You even have the right to think two girls dancing together is weird.
But as long as other kids are going to the prom with dates, no one has the right to stop Constance and her date from this important rite of passage.
Chances are, this upheaval will become a bigger rite of passage than anyone at Itawamba ever imagined.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
4-06-2010 @ 8:44PM
Rev Duane said...I admire the Mississippi school district that cancelled their prom rather than allow sin to be brought in, being a liesbian or homosexual is not a lifestyle it is sin, the ACLU needs to back their nose out vof issues like these. This is why God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah because of the men and womens un natural lifestyles
Reply
4-06-2010 @ 9:25PM
Dave said...Rev, You would be better off in Hell. My God loves evertbody and my Holy Bible says that God is no respector of persons. But then I'm a Christian.
4-06-2010 @ 9:56PM
paul said...In our society, two girls dancing together has been a common sight. Go to any wedding and you will see this. The violation of rights for the sake of comfort is what really bothers me, not only for Constance, but for the other students. This isn't just an ACLU matter, but one that also comes under the heading of Americans with disabilities act. This kind of exclusion, if allowed to happen, could continue to the point that the "nerd" or 'science geeks" could be sent to a separate prom. Since when is it a cheerleader and quarterback event?
Reply
5-25-2010 @ 9:11PM
john said...i do not like gays
4-06-2010 @ 10:21PM
cje said...Mississippi just proved that they are 'also' behind in social matters in this country. You don't have to agree with everyone's position of social or political matters, you just need to live and let live.
Reply
4-07-2010 @ 12:07AM
melanie said...what they did to constance was a disgrace. we are all entitled to our own opinions but we have the right to be treated equally gay or straight. Nobody cares whether you think being gay is a sin stick it were the sun dont shine and walk the other way. I think she should sues the school and keep going to the district, then state for violation of her rights. We are equal no matter what..!!!
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4-07-2010 @ 1:00AM
Rebecca said...I believe there is a federal mandate for separation of church and state. So, if that is true, the argument for being a "sin" is irrelevant. I have been in many schools, I have several degrees, met thousands of students, numerous instructors, and for the life of me I can't imagine the puny minds of the so-called educators in that school. With education being the key word, who really cares if she dances with a boy, a girl or a four-legged animal. It was her prom, a once in a lifetime memory for a young girl to smile, dance and mingle. It's a giant party (depending on the number of students). Also, the endless pictures. Well, oh my gosh, she's different. Oh no, she'll infect all the other students because she's different. Let's not just keep her out of prom, let's banish her from the land. Send her to Elba to live the rest of her life in isolation, because she dares to live, love and be happy with another girl. It's an outrage! How terrible to let a girl like this live. In fact, let's burn every book she touched. Lysol every counter she put her hand on. Scrub the floors she walked on and throw out all the desks she sat in. Let's even destroy all her papers and her grades and let's irradicate her from our FREE LAND! After all, why stop there. Why not scrub the sidewalk she walked on to and from school. Let's find out where she went to grammar school and junior high school and do the same. Maybe we should stone her? How about burn her at the stake because she might even be a witch? WOW, she might even be the devil or the antichrist. We might have found the reason for all the wrongdoings and all the terrible pestilence in the world. We might have to reinstate a type of Nurenburg trial, because maybe she's a descendant of Hitler? Or worse, she might have descended from Cain, who killed his brother Abel. The list is endless. If this is advanced as the educators have evolved to be in Mississippi, then I think the parents of the children might consider sending their kids to a smarter state. Perhaps the government should hold funds to all the schools that offer injustice to kids like this. I'm surprised there wasn't a lynch mob because this child wanted to love another girl. Imagine, a girl loves another girl, wants to show public affection and she is stiffled, shunned, tricked and made to feel awful about herself. Let's see, oh yes, Columbine comes to mind. Perhaps the next girl who likes girls should come to school with a machine gun and dare anyone to mess with her!
The funniest thing about this is that when/if this poor girl goes to college, any college in the country, she will be welcomed with open arms and no one will ostracize her for her loving heart. Maybe the educators in this high school never went to college. Shame! Shame on you little bastards who call yourself educators in that backwater town in Mississippi. May you all receive a similar fate during the rest of your lives so you can feel the same disrespect and humiliation you've bestowed on that poor girl.
I would spit in your direction but that would just be jouvenile.
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4-08-2010 @ 2:14PM
Wally said...SAY WHAT ! you write the script of man's existence ! This is a teenager, who doesn't realize yet, that actions have reactions. Seems she was not hasseled for her sexual preference during her high school years. Maturity may come to her, making her understand the more she wants in life, the more she'll have to weigh the consequences of her choices. The "parents' prom", if held off school property, w/ parents supervising AND footing the costs, and their actions (legal rights) inviting THEIR guests, should be a "grow up moment" for ALL. She is very young to have had the experience encountered by gays, and hopefully, this "moment in time" will add to her life's experiences; and expand better reasoning "maturity" to BOTH school AND students, AND parents!
5-26-2010 @ 10:12AM
george said...its nice to know someone else has taken her side. yes, todays "little" communities arent really well educated as we thought they would be and these kids nowadays, do want to express themselves. first thing we teach them as young students, "open your mouth, without your words, this country wouldnt be where it is today." Now they're telling them to shut-up and be quiet. why? so the rest of the world won't know how messed up we are in here (Mississippi) man no wonder people make fun of the south only. narrow-minded people are only going to see/hear what THEY want us to see or hear. im glad she moved out of that town, heck, i would too if i was going to get very little support. i admire her to openly speak up about her lifestyle. lets face it, the United States ain't going to be like it was back then, oh wait, there was no "BACK THEN." there was only World War I-II and Vietnam and Korean wars and inflation and droughts and trying to beat everyone else in the space programs....gee, wonder what were THE greatest moments of our schooling times?
4-07-2010 @ 1:09AM
dollar said...brett singer wrote
"This is basic discrimination. There was a time in our nation's history when black people were not allowed to dance in public with whites. Most Americans now see how wrong that was. This case is no different"
it is very different. it really gets my goat that gays & the gay supporters want to align themselves with black civil rights issues which are seperate. fight your battles on the merits of your own cases. gays nor any other group has suffered as black americans have. all u have to do is "don't bring your trumpet when u annouce your entrance" and no one will notice U. but u want 2 say weeee look at meeee.
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4-08-2010 @ 2:06PM
Wally said...Brett, you have the simple answer to lesbian. She has been announced by her own announcement, revered by those who identify with her announcement, and for the rest of us, we have our lives, too. Weeee, we looked, and don't care about YOUR ISSUES. Grow up, be mature enough for knockdowns when YOUR BIG DEAL issue, is NOT AN ISSUE !! This is not about race discrimination; but about your failure to recognize this is YOUR ISSUE, you announced it; you'll excuse me since I have my own ISSUES--with folks like you !!
5-21-2010 @ 10:26AM
craig said...She just wants attention,or her parents do. Why do gays always want to announce that they are gay? Shut up and go to the prom. She was looking for some attention and she got it . Wow,I'm gay, who cares? You gay persons just need to leave the rest of us alone instead of whining about equal rights. Straight people don't go around yelling , HELLO, I'm STRAIGHT.
5-25-2010 @ 4:35PM
cochran said...wow this is crazy some of the mind sets people have 1st off i would like to say thats school is about education learning and geting ur diplomia to better yourself inlife your personal social life has nothing to do with learning and graduating its prom so its the end of the year so she did what she needed to do to get there she obviously completed her work did her 13yrs (including kindergarden) accomplishd a goal to move to her next step in life that soooo many people fail to get that far who knows where her goals and education may take her and her being gay will not stop her at all it is ignorant at the fact they cancled prom just so sshe couldnt go she did her job just like every1 eles did to get there gays has been thro cruel treatment as well no i dont think it compair at all to what our african americans has been thro but its still discrimination i could not like fat people and i dont feel any1 shld run for prom queen or go to prom with a fat person so im gonna cut prom HOW STUPID DO THAT SOUND she didnt want attention she wanted to enjoy prom just like every1 eles open your eyes and look beyond your own insecurities. its very funny shes considerd immuture but shes just asking to go to the prom and the ones that cancld prom isnt immuture that was very childish ignorant and wrong your not only making her suffer but other individuals who worked hard for that relief at the end of the year she was a victim and the state of mississippi deserved watever she thro at them. if you know what your are and you know what you like and your not confused about your own sexualities or scared some1 might notice your intrest in the gay crowd you should not be uncomfortable around a gay individual because just because your intrested in females males whatever whos says its you im intrested in you could be a complete turn off to me but the girl next to you may be cute dont put your self as a intrest and your not
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5-26-2010 @ 10:14AM
george said...i don't really take sides on this particular matter, but i will say this. If we want out children to know what "really" does go on on the outside world, were going have to teach them new ways in school. by blocking and refusing to let Mcmillen that shes not allow to bring her owe opinions to school, well, were just slamming the doors of opportunity in their faces. in others words, "we dont care about you, we care about ourselves in this community." so what if she was a lesbian, it only makes matters worst for someone to apply at that district now or better yet, i would love to hear about someone whos a lesbian working in that district school. whats going to happen to her, is she going to get fired? oh no, heaven forbid a lawsuit! These kids, whether we agree or disagree with their backgrounds, are our future! remember, one day, she,McMillen, could be holding YOUR Social Security retirement check! give these kids a chance to express themselves, you never know, the future could be much more "openminded" to others. theres more to say, but ill just keep my comments to myself, dont want to alarm or freak anyone whos really not going to be humane about this topic. thank you.
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5-24-2010 @ 11:47PM
Ash Johnson said...Okay, first of all, let me say that being a homosexual is NOT the same as being african-american. Yeah, african-americans could not dance in the same room as whites back in the day, but that does NOT equate to homosexuals. Being homosexual is a LIFESTYLE CHOICE. It's a choice. There is no "chemical imbalance" or "disorder". It's a CHOICE. being african-american, mexican, asian, etc is NOT a choice. No one has a say in what ethnicity they want to be. They are BORN that way. Homosexuals are NOT born homosexually. They have the choice to be homo or heterosexual.
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6-07-2010 @ 4:19AM
Lizzie said...Oh I apologize, I didn't realize you were a scientist who has spent a long time researching that. Do you know how many young and old victims, girls and boys alike, commit suicide to escape the pain of having to deal with homosexuality? Who would want to choose a life like that. A lot of healthy people are homosexual, and they are happy to be, because they are strong and confident with who they are. Unfortunately some young children who can't escape the fact they are attracted to the same sex absolutely do not know how to deal with the pressure of being made fun of or not fitting in with their parents, peers, and this countries standards. I am a heterosexual, and I was born that way. I have homosexual friends and family, and they were born that way. Grow up and stop making up stories because you assume them. So unless you are a biologist or scientist or anyone smarter than you, you may shut your large uneducated mouth.
5-25-2010 @ 3:52PM
Tara said...i cant believe something like this happened. its so dumb. why is it any of the schools business how this girl lives her life? they shouldn't cancel an entire prom cuz they believe its "wrong". thats so immature. people have the right to be whatever they want. and who gives a flying f*** if its" against the bible"? in case ya'll haven't noticed, not everyone follows the bible anymore. most people don't believe in God anymore and thats they're decision. peoples sexuality is NOT a sin. i'm Bisexual and am damn proud of it. people, GROW THE HELL UP!!!! theres gay, lesbians and bisexuals in this world and theres nothing you can do about it so just deal with it!
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5-25-2010 @ 9:15PM
jerry said...do you really like gays geting married and having kids.that is a joke to me.
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5-25-2010 @ 9:33PM
biggirlzdontcry said...i think the two should have been allowed to go to the prom, who cares what they are and who wears what, let the kids have a prom. i think everyone is focusing too much on this issue, focus on our kids killing each other, drugs in school, bulling, money being cut so we can't hire enough teachers, or letting teachers go because we have no funding, let sleeping dogs lie and lets put our focus on things more important.
someone made a comment also about sins, yes this is a sin, but so is lying, stealing, gambling, drinking too much, eating too much. who are we to judge, everyone has to give an account for their own actions. My motto-----"Sweep around your own front door before you try and sweep around mine"!
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