What's Going On Inside Mean Tweens' Heads?

I agree in most cases that for boys at least, it's best to fight back against a bully. I got bullied a lot in jr. high, and didn't really fight back (or know how to then). I move away when I started high school, and I made up my mind then not to take anything anymore, and quickly gave back a dose of whatever was thrown at me. In pretty much no time, that was the end of any bullying I had to deal with.

However, I do know one exception with regard to another kid in my jr. high. He decided to fight back against the same couple guys that were giving me a hard time - well, those guys just escalated their attacks, even pulling a knife one time. Then, the bullied kid started carrying around his own knife for protection, after which one of the bullies pulled a gun on the guy (after school, just off grounds). It just kept on escalating like that until the bullied kid ended up getting expelled for having a weapon. That whole situation was just wrong all the way around, but it shows you still have to be careful who exactly you're planning to stand up to, and how.

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I happen to be one of the picked on kids at school. Boy or girl, they are mean, and nasty. They think they're funny when they are just being stupid, trying to get attention. I remember every single time I run home, put my face in my pillow and scream like a banshee. Sometimes, I wonder what are those kids going through at home. Are they being beaten? Ignored? Whatever it is, some public schools and the parents of the bullies really need to get together and put a stop to the child's rein of terror.

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A kid in high school used to "bully" me, and he was BIG! This went on for most of the year, having enough I decided to have it out with him (not the best choice I know, mainly because of his size!) We did after school (which I think the whole school was there!!). Yes, I lost the fight, but also won a great friend. After that he and I became the best friends, and to this day, some forty-five years later, we still keep in touch. Strange how some things come out.

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boy bullies become cops, girl bullies become wives

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Bullying is a rising problem, I think. Yes, it's always been around, but now it's worse than ever. I won't comment on why I think that is, because I'm sure there are diverse reasons, though perhaps the main one is the lack of an understanding of the reality of and the nature of God, Heaven, and Hell. I also believe kids get it from a parent. They witness a parent's bullying, perhaps of the spouse. Kids pick that up. Also the rise of gangs. Perhaps these are elements in the devolution of a society, of a country, since it has been an element in the rise of Nazism and many other such isms. (Communism, Socialism...etc.)

From what I have come to understand from the psycho literature, bullying is an admission of inadequacy. It basically says that the bully cannot cope with the situation either from a stance of jealousy, anger, or perhaps ignorance. Bullying is a primitive act. If the personality is more refined, the individual has the ability to solve his/her problems without committing crimes, without assault. The psychological profile of a bully is of someone who envies the victim for something the victim possesses which they do not have. The more mature personality can deal with the problem through negotiation, verbally, without resorting to violence. Bullies remind me of "Cowboys and Indians". You speakum bad word to Falling Rock. Falling Rock takum u scalp. As opposed to, "Hey! Was that you I heard last night out in the parking lot? What's going on?" And then working in to the conversation that there were kids around listening to Falling Rock, or Hooting Hallie. And btw, I've seen Indians negotiate very well, actually. Better than some...um...others.

Perhaps it would be good to teach coping skills to kids in grade school, give them classes on verbally negotiating a truce, or verbally solving a problem. If that could happen, maybe it would reduce many tragedies. I think they also need to learn to value other students, as well as their elders. Some kids don't seem to get that training at home.

One of the biggest things is teaching people how to determine a fact. What is a fact? And what is just gossip? What is a half truth? And how can a half truth mislead people? Have them play the game of "Gossip", where the truth is hugely distorted very rapidly. These are all elements of negotiation. When people pick up on one thing, they assume many others, which are often totally false. I think elementary school kids, junior high kids, can handle these classes at different levels, and it may well improve all of society.

Bullying destroys people. But the problem is, when something happens to someone, people jump to conclusions - FALSE ones! It would be good for both adults and kids to have the experience of actually seeing how some of the false things have gone around, and how it usually destroys both the victim and the assailant. I know from personal experience how people jump to a false assumption when something happens. They torment and abuse someone who didn't even know what was going on, much less take any kind of part in something. Perhaps the person didn't even mean something the way it was taken. And often the entire situation is not what it seems to be on the surface.

There's a reason people immigrated from Europe to America. Europe had a very inequitable system of "justice". There was hardly ANY justice at all. People suffered the WHIM of others. So America set out on a brave new experiment: DEMOCRACY! We would all have the opportunity to defend ourselves against any accuser who wanted to take our lives. All too often, the colonists had witnessed persecution by the rich nobles in Europe. They would be framed and killed for things they had not done. So colonists wanted to be judged by a jury and have an opportunity to defend themselves. If we diverge from that, this land will fall into chaos.

Every human person has value. God created each of us for a reason, even if we don't know what that reason might be, for as long as we have life. We may be having all manner of problems, but God uses those problems in ways we don't understand at the time. So we should not act impetuously, but be grateful for whatever God sends us. Now I"m not talking about defending ourselves from an assailant. But that's a different case.

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I was bullied from 8th grade till 11th grade by someone who claimed to be my friend and someone I claimed to be my friend. We talked on the phoned nearly every night and hung out at school together and yet if someone told I had supposedly said something about her she would turn on me on a dime not even bothering to talk to me to see what I had really said if anything. I took the abusive behavior and took it some more. It wasn't until my adult years that I started to get emotionally healthy and realized she wasn't a friend at all. Years later she moved back to the town we grew up in and was working with my sister in law and wanted to look me up again. I stayed clear even though now I wouldn't take that kind of bullying from anyone I didn't see the point of being friends once again. Fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me.

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Anyone with school aged children knows this and a study should be done on how to HELP this situation. These "bullies" need help. More home lives of children are in upheavel or non-existent. We need programs to HELP these children not studies proving what we all know already exists!!

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For all the comments about standing up to a bully, most of the time bullies pick on the ones that don't stand a snowball's chance of beating them. The leave the kids they think have a chance of beating them alone. Every now & then they screw up and pick on a kid who doesn't look tough but winds up handling them.

It takes a very brave kid to stand up to someone who outweighs them 40 lbs in middle school, knowing they will get pasted. It doesn't happned often.

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The world is LOADED with bullies. Young and old, and in all walks of life. Stand up to them and most melt away. Try it sometime.

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There is no difference, they are both cowards.

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Willy: You're wrong. It's not all about the size of the bully, it's about the ATTITUDE of the bullied. I'm 5'6 as a grown man, and because of my size, I was targeted by bullies as a kid, in a tough neigborhood. Out of Many, many, confrontations I got my a** whipped TWICE. The rest left with their egos and/or some portion of their bodies bloodied, but you know what? MOST didn't even bother to fight, once it was clear to them that I had no fear of them. I called their bluff. The same goes for the bullies you will come across throughout life. In business, in sports, in the workplace, etc..

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bullies are cowards - let them push you around and then you too are a coward - if bullied follow the bully to a place with no witnesses and introduce said bully to a club

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Need an anti-bully program ? Please view my web site
www.dontbeabully.com Thanks !

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This brought back my high school gym experience, where I was teased daily about my weight by this awful human being. I grew up to be a successful professional and had a chance to see her one day in a hospital, working in a menial position. I wanted to slap her but kept walking. The pain resurfaced, just as strong as it was all those years ago.

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Fran White.... Thats because people were and still are scared of people yelling racism...no one wants to be sued...just like Pine Plains school district....As for FRED... EVERYBODY in this WORLD IS A COLOR...A**

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wedgies are hot if the recipient is a girl with a nice rear!

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Only the hurting hurt....if you have a child that has a stable home life they are usually not the bullies. Every human has the need to "take out" frustrations on something or someone. I've always told my children that if they encounter a bully to feel sorry for them. They are probably getting the $#% beat out of them by someone else. Sadly, it is usually someone older. My suggestion is the schools should take control and look into the home life of each "bully" in the school. I bet they find the answer to why he is a bully.....

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I am a seventh grader and I go to a private all girls school. Yes the school I go to is filled with little teen bitches. They don't bully you in physical contact.(Usually) But they glare at you, fill up the seats at one table so you can't sit with them at lunch and gossip and spread rummors. In my old school which was co-ed I would be bullied by boys and girls but not as much. The boys woul throw you to the ground then deny it later when a teacher would ask.(and of course the teacher always belived the boy's side of the story) Girls would just spread rumers. Now in the school I go to it is mostly gossip behind your back or glaring at someone. But there are a few people who would make fun of you to your face. One person made fun of me bacause I was waring converse. But the people who usually make fun of you to your face are usually the ones who are gossiped about. The one that made fun of me because I was waring converse is usually gossiped about for being a spoiled brat, waring coach shoes everyday and juicy tracksuits every day. Another person continualy makes fun of me for random reasons. And most people in my grade gossip about her and hate her. I know the reason why she makes fun of me. She needs to feel that she is more popular than me, or more prettier or better than me. She made fun of me because I aperiantly had a wierd nose and drew a picture on the white bord of me having a demented nose. When I was dating a boy she made fun of me because he was younger than me. I usually confron her because she never leaves me alone, she clings to my side everyday and I cant stand it. When I joined the swim team she made fun of me because I apperintly had a huge crush on the teacher which I didnt and thought that was gross. She made fun of me every five minutes and when I told her to stop making fun of me she said"I didnt mean to make fun of you I didnt realize" I would always confront her saying things like" I dont want to take this crap any more can you stop making fun of me and leave me alone everyone hates you!" she will still cling to my side every single day......

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fred ur so racist.

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