Opinion: I Had a C-Section - Does That Make Me Less of a Mother?

You sound completely hysterical. I guess you had to get your column out, but you're really over-reacting to that comment about normal. It wasn't meant to denigrate women who have had c-sections. You need to take a deep breath and understand that comment within its clinical context. A C-section is not a normal way to give birth. Vaginal delivery is the normal way to give birth. If you can't give birth vaginally---for whatever reason-you get a C section. He didn't mean you were a bad mother. Grow up and quit taking things so personally.

Now--there is another issue regarding c-sections: physicians sometimes schedule c-sections unnecessarily, to comply with the demands of their schedule. Which is a big issue. Why don't you make your next column about that? That would be a useful thing for you to hold forth on.

well a vaginal birth is medically speaking 'normal'. But the real meat of this article should have been that doctors sometimes pressure women into treatment for their convenience and not for the best interests of their patient. That said, it doesn't matter how the baby is born, it only matters that the baby arrives alive. Parental bonding has nothing to do with labor pains.

I can't believe he actually said that! I had 3 c-sections, 1 of which was my choice. I don't regret having to have any of my c-sections and consider having them was "normal" for me! Who is to judge what is normal or abnormal? I did't breastfeed, I was given pain medication during my labor pains and I did not make my own babyfood! Does this make me less of a mother? I dare anyone to ask my children this. They are just about grown now and tell me every day how lucky they are to have such a wonderful mother! I thank God every day that I was able to give birth (c-section or not) to three children when there are so many who have been less fortunate. Regardless of how they came into this world, I am just so grateful that they are here!

The point is that a c-section is major surgery and if you don't need to have it, why do it???? I had my first child via a medically necessary c-section 11 lbs 10 oz baby with a very large head and I went through labor for 18 hours. My second child was vaginally. I fought not to have a c-section as I was very sick after. There is potential for infection and the pain is unbearable!!!! But everyone should have a choice and it is ultimately up to the mother if a c-section is not medically necessary!!!!

As a Mom who had my frist child vaginally,(with complcations) and my second child vaginally, all the while BEGGING for a c-section, my Dr. at that time didn't believe in preforming any c-sections, so as a result my son was born with many birth related defects, but do I love either one of my children any less? absolutly not. I only got to breast feed my frist, not my second, but my love for my children only grows. Any way you bring your child into this world,by birth or adoption, their is nothing like a mothers love! For anyone who was hurt by that idiot of a Dr. remember that you are a mother and enjoy every minute of it! A childs love is unconditional, as a Mother's should be.

I had my first c-section almost 36 years ago. At first I, too, felt less of a mom and a woman because I could not give birth "normally". Then I realized what a small part of my child's life the birth process was and what mattered most was what I did with the next 20 or so years of his life.

OK, get out your dictionary: Normal is defined as conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural. THAT defines a vaginal birth, NOT a C-Section. No one is diminishing your birth experience. No one is calling you a bad mother. Your delivery method, whether your choice or not, was not a "normal" delivery. Get over it.

Thank you Linda!!! You took the words out of my mouth.

Amy, this article is so self serving. Get over yourself and read it as an information report. Be a good mother. That is what having children is all about.

I don't feel that this dr was trying to say that women who had C-sections were less of a mother or to take away from our birth experience. He just meant there is a normal way to have a baby-through the birth canal. Major surgery,which a C-section is, is never considered normal. I too had a C-section with my twins, and I would never have one on purpose again-that's just me. I felt it was very painful and hard to heal from. I too felt I lost out on the experience of pushing the babies out and would still like to experience this if I can. However, I feel the real issue here is that all of us women are insecure and sadly we use each others insecurities to make ourselves feel better when we should be helping each other out. I do also feel that women should be encouraged to try vbac. I recently read a statistic through aol news that the U.S. is rated 40th, that's right 40th, as far as the moms mortality rate after giving birth. That to me is unacceptable. Part of the reason for this is the amount of major sugery C-sections being planned ahead. Also in part were the number of obese women giving birth and those with other health problems. But still it is something to think about. Of course I do agree that some of these doctors need to quit doing C-sections just to make their jobs easier or their schedules less complicated. Anyway that's my 2 cents!

I've had two c-sections. So I can comment. People are missing the point. It is not important how the child arrives. It is important that the baby is healthy, and that the parents (yes both) take proper care of their offspring.

If it wouldn't have been for my c-section both myself and my daughter would be dead right now instead of alive. And I agree with the writer of the article... I was not robbed of anything when my little girl was born via c-section, of course I also didn't have any complications or excessive pain after either. I enjoyed inmensly the births of boths my daughters. One was born vaginally the other c-section as i already mentioned before. Either way it was my decision on how my daughters were born although my second daughter was an emergency delivery.... I am so glad that they were able to save her, through emergency c-section

It is one thing to have a c-section because it is medically necessary. It is another to have one because "it hurts so bad and I can't take it so no I won't push anymore just get it out". Pardon me for being crude but as a labor and deliery nurse I get irritated with these Young mothers who really don't want to be mothers in the first place.
Bottom line... the only thing that makes you less of a mother is yourself. C-sections are plentiful these days, unfortuneately. If those who beg for them would stop to think that THIS IS A MAJOR SURGERY they may think again and go vaginal.
There are many complications... oversedation which could result in death (a spinal is usually used but 2 out of 10 times they don't work and the patient has to be put under and intubated), large volume blood loss, ripping of the uterus to the point that a hysterectomy may be vital to your survival, kinking of your intestines etc not to mention the risk of infection. When you have seen a woman with medicated gauze packed in her 8 inch wide by 4 inch deep wound in the pelvic region it makes you want to push that baby out without a second thought of the pain....
I love my children and they were both vaginal 9lbs 3 ounces and 8lbs 14 ounces. YOU CAN DO IT.

I had my son with a C-section, but I was forced into it by my Doctor's partner. My C-section was unncecessary; my OBGYN doctor had seen me 15 minutes before the other doctor had taken over and without even looking at me, he ordered a C-section. The nurses told me the doctor will make 3x the money for a C-section vs. a vaginal birth. I was allowed to fire him, but then as head of surgery, he ordered the doctor who took over for him to do a C-section anyway! I had a two week stay in the hospital with my baby due to a serious infection that settled in. IT is a total injustice. I found out later that particular doctor had several law suits pending against him, but nothing happened to him.

Life is too short to take anything personal, that is the problem with this world today, everyone is so touchy - my soon to be daughter in law gave birth to a 10 lb 9 oz girl, of course she was delivered C-Section for safety of the baby (her size was too big for vaginal delivery) do I think of her as a less of woman, does my son, NO, I thank her for giving me a healthy happy granddaughter and that is all that matters. Now I gave birth vaginally to two boys over 10 lbs, not all woman are capable. Move on and enjoy your kids, they grow up faster than you think.

It seems the major argument here is the use of the word "normal". Perhaps instead of using the word "normal", even though it is medically correct, the word "natural" should have been use, with or without medications. For you see, it is natural to give birth via the birth canal and not natural to cut someone open. Having said that, my first child was frank butt breech and was delivered through a C-Section. It was still a wonderful experience and he is now a healthy adult. My second child was VBAC, and it too was a wonderful experience and he is also now a healthy adult. The difference between the two was simply that the C-Sect was more clinical than the VBAC. I would easily have preferred both births to be "natural", only because that is the way nature intended and the recovery time and pain was far less.

get a real problem!!! please, you have two beautiful children. do you realize that some people cant even conceive let alone carry a pregnancy to full term? You must not have enough to worry about...

I have personally experienced both vaginal and c-section deliveries. My c-section was not by choice but medically necessary. My dr. for the vaginal deliveries did not believe in pain medication. Recovering from a c-section is much more difficult than the vaginl delivery. Hats off to anyone that has to go the c-section direction! Not only do you have to heal, you are responsible for the needs of your little one. Recovery time from a vaginal delivery is minimal compared to the c-section. Having had both types of deliveries and being present for the delivery of my first grandchild I can say all women are amazing!

It's not just C-Sections that women are pressured into having, but vaginal 'induced' births too. I have heard so many of my friends say that their doctor was going on vacation, so they were scheduled to be 'induced' on a certain day. It is pretty sad when a doctor can pressure a woman into making these kinds of decisions at an already difficult time. Rather than doing what's best for mom and baby, they use a woman's natural inclination to finally have this be over to get them to have these babies before they're ready to come out on their own. I'd love to see the stats on the number of 'induced' labors in this country.