Opinion: I Had a C-Section - Does That Make Me Less of a Mother?

I have three kids, going on four. And they all (so far) were vaginal births. The biggest reason for that is I am SCARED TO DEATH of surgery. lol But if I had to have a c-section because it was a necessity to my child's health and/or my own, then I certainly would. Also, I see nothing wrong with opting for a c-section if you've had one before or if it just suits your situation better. It's your body, and you're the one giving birth. Don't let anyone influence your decision, and do as much research as you can before your due date. That way, should you need to opt for a c-section or decide you want one, you'll have all the info under your hat to make an informed decision.

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Also, I would like to say that my first son was in severe distress, but the doctor didn't notice until he was already in the birth canal. I required a double episiotomy (cut to beyond my rectum) to deliver him. I was unable to sit on a chair for 6 weeks after without a donut pillow, and didn't return to a normal sex life for 12 weeks after.

With my youngest son, he was delivered while the nurse was in the hallway and the doctor was in the elevator because he didn't believe I was in labor!! (he was born in the amniotic sac, 7 1/2 weeks early).

Being a mother doesn't depend on how the baby is delivered, whether it be vaginal, c-section, or adoption. It depends on the love you have for that child, and loving them even when they do things you don't like.

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To say that by having a c-section we didn't suffer is wrong. Both my kids were stuck on my pelvis. With my daughter I was in labor 11 hrs, at 2 hrs in I had an epidural. At the 11 hr mark I signaled to my mother I couldn't breathe. As an asthmatic mom told the nurse she felt I was having an asthma attack. My nurse RAN, down the hall to my midwife who was helping another mom in labor hollering for the midwife. Midwife popped in said stop trying were calling the Dr. you need an emergency c-section. We knew at the time already my daughter was face up and stuck on my pelvis. We had hoped to get her to flip then the midwife thought at that point she could prob push her back up and let her drop down where she needed to be. So what if I had a c-section. I still labored for 11 hrs, I still went thru the trials and tribulations of pregnancy. I didn't want the c-section, but for the safety of my child and my own life, I had to. I had planned on drug free vaginal birth..well didn't quite go according to plan but in the end I have a healthy 6 yr old, I wouldn't trade my own experience for anything.
As for my son I wanted a VBAC. Went back to the same midwife who helped birth my daughter who told me "good luck finding a dr willing to do a VBAC with in 5 counties of here" She proceeded to give me as much information on VBAC and repeat c-section as she could, and said if I would prefer VBAC she can refer me to wherever I choose to go. But in the end when I go into labor whatever dr is on staff will prob choose a c-section. We also talked about the high likely hood my son would be stuck in the same manner as my daughter was. I found out during his c-section, he too was stuck, and as my dr put it "lucky this baby isn't in respiratory distress due to how he's stuck".
I doesn't matter HOW you gave birth, or if you adopted, your still their parent. You still love them, you still in one way or another labored in getting from point A to point B.
And I'm sorry to people that truly believe your birth experience dictates how your child will be when they grow up. That is is a nature/nurture combination and how you give birth has nothing to do with how they turn out.

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I have had 2 c-sections. The 1st was in Aug '76. I had been in unconventional labor for 6 wks. When they finally got me into regular labor by induction of pitocin, I dialated to 5 cms. Later, I went down to 2 cms. and did not progress any further, although my water did break. I was 2 wks and 2 days late. They had no choice at this point but to take my daughter by c-section. The doctor said if they had not, the baby, me or both of us may not have made it. As it was, my daughter was born with underdeveloped lungs, called Hyline Membrane. This is the same thing that President Kennedy's baby died of when they first moved into the White House.
The 2nd pregnanct was also a c-section, Oct '79, for the same reason as the 1st. This time I did go into labor 2 wks to the day early, but I did not progress in dialation. If I had not had another c-section, I would not have my son today.
My daughter was considered premature, weighing 5 lbs. 7 ozs. My son weigned in at a healthy 7 lbs. 9 ozs.
I went to a home party of some sort and my friend had someone there that made the comment about c-sections not being normal. I said well then I'm not normal. The only way I can deliver is by c-section. I didn't know my new friend could not have children. She told this person that if she had to stand on her head to have a child, she would do it. The lady quickly shut her mouth and looked quite embarrassed, as well she should have.
So, before you stick your foot in your mouth, think of those of us who may only be able to have our children this way. Yes some use it for convenience, and some doctors too, but most of us use it for medical reasons.

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My first child was born by C-section because my water had broken 24 hrs earlier and put us at risk of infection. Personally, this "did" feel abnormal to me, not that I loved my baby less, but because I didn't "give birth". I definitely felt a little less womanly for a short time as a result. I then followed that birth with 3 natural births at the age of 33, 41 and 43. All without meds which was definately NOT my choice! Believe me, I wanted the drugs! There just wasn't enough time.

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As a man, I probably should just be quiet, but this column was interesting on a couple of levels. Do I think the writer over-reacted to the "normal" wording? Yep, just a tad. There's no reason to be defensive about a decision to have a C-section. We have an adopted son, now grown sky-high. Do we love him less than a "real" son? Not in the least. How on earth could a "vaginal" baby be a better baby than a C-section baby? So what difference does it make if a mother chooses one birthing method over another? One comment I read, about some doctors "pitching" C-sections because it makes their own scheduling easier does seem like the subject of a future column, however. I'm assuming that this does happen.

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wynnsmomma i am saying that if they chose to have a cs they are less of a woman and miss out on how not to suffer for thier kids as they were intended to juggle within the bonding process make up of the whole order of things on this earth!!!! all i know is if anyone is judging me , look at yourselves first!!!! before you open your mouths to what i wrote, anyone that feels they are less of a woman will only defend by making me feel like i am a moron or etc as a few have wrtten back, and that makes me feel good that they are less of a woman cause they have to defend themselves against the true order of how childbirth was intended, but here we go, some thinking they are God as is what is wrong with this world. and not believing that there is a purpose for hurting through the whole process of pushing that baby out without any drugs!!!!! I feel good that whoever writes back is feeling really less of a whole human being and wants to make me feel bad but i know better,,, and so do you whoever you are,,, oh also, my first child was 9 pounds my second 8lbs 12 oz and my third 7lbs 11 oz and i had episiodomies? is that how it is spelled, anyway on the first two without any mediaction except antiseptic and sits baths after wards for a week..... hmmmmmmm soooooooo come on, talk to me you that feel so bad about yourselves!!!!! and can only bad mouth me cause deep down you are only jealous of what i have accomplished and you could never do it all as i did.... and get an mba and do all I did as I did,,,,,I am truely superwoman and guess what , you that talk sh-t only know you feel so bad about yourselves and cant compete so bring on your jealousy , I love it!!

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Rape? Birth, whether vaginal or not, is usually consensual. Rape is not. Stop victimizing your insecurities.

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So, Ann, you are saying to truly be a mom, you have to spread your legs to get pregnant, spread your legs again to give birth, and that makes you a real mom?!
Hmmm, I never realized that. Thank you for pointing that out for me. Then a hooker who has children, and has a vaginal birth is a better mom thank I am because medically I had to have a c-section.
Do I read you correctly?

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As soon as I found out I was pregnant I told my ob-gyn that I wanted a c-section. I didn't want to be surprised and go through hours of labor...I wanted it quick and easy. My daughter was breech and my doctor said she could show me techniques to try to turn her...heck no, all the more reason for a c-section. I had a date scheduled, they numbed me up, cut me open, took her out....maybe 1/2 hour. DONE! I had absolutely no pain afterwards and didn't even have the prescription filled she gave me for the pain. I loved it!

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Unless YOU have felt the feelings you cannot pass judgment on how someone else has felt. I believe very strongly that women deserve to have CHOICE in how they birth their children. You wanted another c/s. It was fine for you and you are happy about it. Great. I, for one, was lied to and did not have a positive c/s experience. My daughter was also breech but I was denied access to "try and turn her" from a horrible doctor who treated me like I did not matter nor did the importance of a vaginal birth. For ME, VBAC is about real information being given to women and not scare tatics. In what other area of medicine is MAJOR SURGERY the 1st option? When do heart patients choice open heart surgery vs. a minor procedure if both are deemed to provide the same end result? Yes, c/s is important and necessary for some women. It literally saves lives. But there are MANY that are done because the doctor a) cannot be bothered to work with a women's body longer than his/her shift and b) because it is easier to schedule than get a call at 2am that your patient is in labor and c) because INSURANCE companies tell them that they cannot do VBACs and get malpractice insurance.
So you can feel how you want, and you can let me feel what I DID feel.

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Oh....come on now....you are definately over reacting. A C section is NOT a normal delivery, but it no way makes you less of a mother. Get over it.

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I had my son all natural, no meds, no nothing, but that doesn't mean I run around as you say damning all other methods. I believe its up to the woman how to have their child, no matter what anyone says, unless its a life or death must have a c-section. Some of my friends had to have c-sections and they got to pick the date their child was born, how cool is that? But not all women who have natural birthds run around complaining or damning yall.

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I'd like to know why it's considered good for women to suffer pain!

Both my C-section babies were born without being squeezed by pelvic bones, or choked with umbilical cords - into the arms of calm, happy parents. How can this possibly be bad????

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I will be happy to explain the medical reasons to consider VBAC...If you all want to know the facts not the myths you have been putting forth. There are real risks to 3,4,5 c/s's...let me know I will go on..By the way the instruments shown are archaic and rarely used at all in vaginal birth..M linze M.D.

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call me crazy, but i would prefer vaginal birth over c-section anyday because then I can actually sit there and tell people my experiences about it. When my friends are having their first child, i can actually sit there and walk them through it and let them know any and everything they want to know. Why would I chose to be cut open if it wasn't necessary?? THATS JUST INSANE!!!!! and stupid if you ask me. The only way a doctor is going to cut me open is if my child's life is at stake and the best and only way to get that baby out is to go through my belly!!

Now, about the little comment the write put up about c-sections not being normal..honey, they aren't!!! Vaginal births are considered normal because there are more of them and that IS the way GOD intended for children being brought into this world. You create them through the same opening, do you not? So why not bring them into the world through the same place as well? God made it easy...not difficult. People going around saying well OH I got cut open in order to have my baby im so much better than you, you dont know what its like to be cut open...BITCH PLEASE...YOU dont know what its like trying to squeeze a WATERMELON through a hole the size of a CHICK PEA!!!!!!!!!

Now, for the women who have HAD to get c-sections to save their babies lives, or their own...this is not intended for you! just to clear things up :)

Any woman that gives birth vaginally is a hero in my eyes, because that right there is REAL PAIN...we didnt choose to be cut open and suffer for weeks afterwards so that our vaginas wouldnt be stretched because god forbid you have sex with your husband and worry about being loose..atleast its because you gave birth, and you aint no hooker for gods sake..now shut up and quit whining!!

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