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How to Ditch the Diapers and Start Potty Training
Filed under: Toddlers Preschoolers, Potty Training, Amazing Kids, Cabin Fever
If your children are well past diapers, you don't have children, or you feel the urge to shout "TMI!" at your computer screen on a regular basis, please, avert your eyes. This column may not be for you. If, however, you have a small diapered person in your care, and you're wondering, "Is there life after diapers?" do read on.Cabin Fever is a parent, not an expert. But, I can assure you that there is life after diapers. I call it "Travels with Potty." Glamorous, huh? Still, it's a step above Adventures with Wet Poopy Pants, though unfortunately the two sometimes go hand in hand, to mix metaphors, and to create an unpleasant picture in your mind. Sorry about that.
Before parenthood, few of us could have imagined standing around with fellow adults discussing poop. Birth will do that to a person. Next thing you know, you're studying the contents of a diaper like you've found the Holy Grail. Worse, you're unable to resist the urge to share what you've learned with others. Surprisingly, others are moderately interested, and in return will share their discoveries with you. But only if you've got the ear of a fellow parent. And even then, only if said fellow parent has a child younger than two.
Because by the time a child hits age two, most of us have outgrown our fascination with diapers and their contents. Most of us are more than ready to move on. The question is: how?
ParentDish offers some excellent tips of the trade, to which I will add my two cents.
1. Readiness. (Your child.)
2. Commitment. (You.)
Are You Ready for This?
Determining readiness is a slow, cumulative process.
Start early. To establish familiarity, place a potty chair in the bathroom somewhere around your child's first birthday. Your child can sit on it, kick it, stand in it, wear it as a hat, ignore it, whatever. Choose the simplest model on the market. Baby Bjorn makes an inexpensive potty molded out of a single piece of plastic. It is portable, unobtrusive, and easy to clean.
When your child is somewhere between 18 months to two years, roll up the carpets and let her run around naked for an hour. See what happens. Is she able to control her bladder, or does she pee on the floor every two minutes? If it's the latter, put the diaper back on. Check in again in a few months. Do not push your child to do something she is physically incapable of doing.
But, if your child shows signs of bladder control, invite her to sit on the potty. Don't force the issue. If she agrees to sit, sing her praises to the moon. It's unlikely she will pee the first time she sits down, or even the tenth. Making this connection can come slowly. Roll out the opportunities to sit and try over days, even weeks, letting your child go naked for an hour when you have time to focus entirely on her, always keeping the potty nearby.
When she pees on the floor, pick her up and carry her to the potty chair. "Yay! Look! You're peeing! Now you can pee on the potty!" The tone is entirely positive. Do not chastise a child for peeing on the floor, or for not peeing in her potty. You are introducing her to an adventure. You are helping her understand what her body is doing. This is all brand new for her.
Finally, one of these times, you will sit her on the potty, and she will pee. She's made the connection. It's a pretty awesome moment. Let her know how proud you are. Call Grandma and let your child report the news herself.
It's Time to Commit!
Here's where you decide: Are you ready to commit? You've established her readiness, and she's connected peeing to the potty. If you're ready, too, set aside several days for intensive training, gird up your loins (not hers!), and go for it. Let the child go naked. Stay nearby, alert to her cues. You can fast-forward the potty usage by plying her with water or juice, so she's peeing and practicing more frequently.
Remember: you will have to remind her to sit on her potty. She is not capable of reading her own signals, yet. This will take time, and patience. At the beginning of the process, you are reading her signals for her, and helping her to interpret them.
Once she's got the potty = peeing connection solidly in place (ie. no accidents on the floor; and note that the potty = pooping connection might take longer), it's time to introduce underwear. Two-year-olds know they're not babies. They are proud to be big kids -- and excited to wear underwear. But know, again, that this switch will come slowly for most. You have to help your child recognize that the feeling of wetness is a sign that she needs to sit on the potty. Your child may not be able to pull her pants down by herself. You will have to teach her, or continue to help her. This could take weeks.
Yup. I said it. Weeks. If your child is ready, ask yourself: Are you ready, too? If so, commit. Goodbye diapers. Hello Travels with Potty.
We want to know: What are your no-fail potty training tips? Feel free to share them in the comments below!











ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
3-30-2010 @ 1:38PM
Nina said...This is great advice -- my toddler is just about ready for potty training, and I've read lots of pieces on how to go about it ... I like this approach. Very real-world! Thanks for sharing!
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Nina
www.ParentHandbook.com
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3-31-2010 @ 3:38AM
dee said...My child is almost 3. She sometimes tells me she has to go and some days I feel like im just changing diaper after diaper. Ive tried underwear but she always has accidents in them I just dont know what to do anymore unless wait I think...
10-30-2010 @ 11:22PM
Gail Blacksmith said...There's some completely free GoodNites you can request at Http://bit.ly/dailysample I've gotten free Pull-Ups from them too before.
3-30-2010 @ 10:21PM
deborah said...I had a daughter, and she was soooo easy to teach. I sent her to Grandma's for a couple of months, and she came back potty trained... Then my son was about 1 1/2 we started a game of peeing at the cheerios. He needed a little step when he was little.
When they get older, it is important to make sure they go before
bed. Also, I never made a big deal if the kids wet the bed.
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5-14-2010 @ 5:56PM
mandytorrisi said...I'm sorry but who sends their kids to Grandmas for "a few months" sounds kinda crazy to me... glad to hear your daughter got potty trained, but did you really have to send her to Grandmas?
3-31-2010 @ 10:14AM
Sadaf said...It is a hard process to go through but I am definitely done with diapers on my two year old that is as I still have a two month old. Your article makes the approach simple and gives encouragment. Thanx.
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3-31-2010 @ 11:16AM
elly_duh said...I've now potty trained 3 kids, and after messing up (no pun intended) on the first 2 I think I've got it down now. I agree, it is a long process (weeks, at least) but I think the key is not to potty train completely until they can change their own pants. They are typically interested months before this, and that's great, keep the potty around, let them use it whenever they want, praise them, etc. But don't switch to full time underwear until they can change themselves. 2 year olds are naturally independant, want to be big and do things on their own. If they need you to go with them everytime they will undoubtably have some accidents as you may be busy or they simply want to do it themselves. Plus, let boys pee standing up as soon as they are tall enough. They think it's a water gun and it's so much fun! (as long as they aim correctly!)
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3-31-2010 @ 11:46PM
harkirtan said...my daughter is 18 months.she left diapers at 14 months of age.i trained her on baby jorn potty.its very simple and easy to use potty.it took 2 months for me to train my sweety.now day and night she is without diapers....thanks baby bjorn
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6-04-2010 @ 3:40AM
Mamma-Minni said...I am happy for your accomplishments especially with your daughter being so young, but you almost sound as if you're tooting your own horn or rubbing it in when others are obviously struggling with it. Maybe next time you should add a little encouragement for others in your message.
6-02-2010 @ 9:03AM
jaime127 said...my daughter is 3 and she dose not want anything to do with the potty the only time she will sit on the potty is when she is about to take a bath, we tryed big girl panties with minnie on them she went pee in them. i didnt yell but i told her she made minnie cry because you wet her after i said that she didnt want nothing to do with her panties any more she wantin her pull ups back. i dont know what to do. i feel like a bad mother. can some one please help me. you can email me at watzup352@aol.com
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6-07-2010 @ 5:58PM
AZMommy said...Hi Jaime:
You are not a bad mom! Don't beat yourself. If there is one thing I have learned about potty training kids is that you can't make them do it. When and only when they are ready they will do it. If you've tried and your daughter wants nothing to do with it just wait another couple of months and try again. It can be so hard when you hear of 2 year olds and younger being potty trained and you have a 3+ year old who refuses. It's OK. She wont be in pullups forever and when she decides to finally do it she may suprise you with how fast she picks it up. Save yourself a lot of stress and anxiety and don't push her. Just keep talking about how cool using the potty is and have her favorite underpants ready for that day SHE decides to do it. Hang in there!!!
6-20-2010 @ 12:08AM
ugotjam said...I introduced the potty chair to my daughter when she was about 18 mos. (She used it for a toy box.) Then she would sit on it and "pretend" to pee. I started encouraging her to use the "big girl potty". She started freaking out and having a temper tantrum if I tried to get her on it. I was feeling frustrated because she was now 2 and could understand simple instructions. Why couldn't she get it?!??! Now she's 2 1/2. Last week I took away her "big girl potty". I told her she was too little and I was putting it away in my bathroom. Three days later she marched in there and pee'd in the potty. She has had a couple accidents, but for the most part, she potty trained herself. She likes to be in control and she thinks it was HER idea to pee in the potty. She gets 2 M&Ms when she pees. Sometimes she pees 2-3 times in an hour....lol. We are still 0/0 for poop. She wears a diaper at naptime and nighttime and thankfully has only pooped then. Good luck. They are ready when THEY are ready. Maybe try taking the potty away from her? That's what worked for me.
6-09-2010 @ 10:50PM
Lacy said...My four year old boy is just now potty-trained. He is my first child and extremely stubborn. He kept peeing in his pull-ups and he would always poop in the potty. I don't know what happened but finally a switch went off and now he pees and poops in the potty I was so ecstatic I let him pick out whatever underwear he wanted. Hopefully, my 2 year old boy is not going to be as difficult! Does anyone have any advice about how to get them to be potty-trained at night?
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9-08-2010 @ 12:13PM
Rebecca said...To help with not wetting the bed, do not give drinks after dinner, and have them go potty right before going to bed. My best friend's 4 year old twins still "wet the bed" but it is actually when they wake-up and don't want to get up right away to use the potty, so watch them when they wake-up especially after nap time and remind them to use the potty right away when they wake up. I hope this helps.
6-10-2010 @ 1:21AM
momof6 said...I have potty trained 6 children. My oldest child wasn't potty trained till 3, but the rest were under 2 with the youngest being 18 mo. I have found the best way is to do it while they are young and think it's a game rather than when they are older and use it as a way to control their parents. I learned to put underware on them right away and then put a plastic, cloth diaper, cover over it. Then when they don't make it to the potty you don't have a big mess to clean up. Get rid of the pull-up's all they are is a more expensive diaper. I can't stand potty chairs either. They are a gross mess to deal with. You can get a very inexpensive potty seat that fits over a regular size toilet. That way they get used to the real thing right away. And the big potty training secret is candy! I bought the mini m&m's, chocolate chips, or reeses pieces. (since they are so small they can eat more) They got to eat these as long as they sat on the toilet. They didn't even have to do anything. The trick is to put them on first thing in the morning or right after they wake up form their nap. Hope this gives those struggling some hope. The main thing is to be consistant and it shouldn't take more than 2 weeks. Really!
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7-07-2010 @ 11:59AM
Mon said...My son is 22 months old and I want to start potty training him. So according to this article, if he cant control his bladder and pee's everywhere when he doesnt have a diaper on, he's not ready? But how is he supposed to know that he is not supposed to pee everywhere if he's been in a diaper for months? Im confused. To me that seems unatural for me to just one day take it off and expect him not to pee everywhere.... I feel that maybe I should take it off and explain to him that if he needs to go pee he needs to tell mommy and see if then he can recognize the fact that he feels that he has to go and can hold it then? Any advice or thoughts on this?
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7-19-2010 @ 12:24AM
Need Help Please said...Long story short. Hard/Bad 5 years. I had 2 kids in one year. Bad back from messed up Epi. Very tired, about 3 hours sleep a day. Lack of help. Took 5 years for my husband to come around. I take full blame from my 5 & 4 years old. I started potty training 5 yr old (girl) at 2 and 4 yr old (boy) 1. They liked the idea and did great. I was in and out of the hospital & while getting naps the kids didn't go on the potty. Why the other two people didn't put on the potty I don't know (lazy?). Two years of hell at home and with my body just flew past. 9 month ago I put my foot down and in pain started all over again. 4 & 3 yrs old did great, few problems with stinkies only. I needed help with the kids to pack and move in the short time some how they are back in diaper and not wanting to go on the potty. They tell me it's easier to do stinies in the diapers. Problem they start school (K) in 4 weeks & I still have to unpack. Someone, Everyone helllllllllllllllllllllp! I'm so tired I can't think. I will not use candy, but I'm OK with giving toys, however they don't care. I'm not a push over mom, I have spanked when needed (when they bite). They spend time in a time out area. I do take away toys, TV, games, etc. What am I doing wrong. I make them sit on the potty every 2 hours for sometimes 15 mins, they get of then go in the undies. They wake up dry 6 out 7 mornings. Problem is day time. I don't have it in me to keep clean undies, I put them back on the diaper and it's the same thing. The Dr said the do not have any bladder problems. OK that means it me. I can't get any less sleep. I need 8 hours and I'm only getting 3 hrs for the past 5 years. PLEASE HELP. Anyone with advice. Thanks
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8-08-2010 @ 11:32AM
CarlaCarlaCarlaCarla said...One word: Daycare
6-01-2011 @ 9:35AM
Dancerctry said...My son will be two on sunday but has been potty training for a long time. It depends on your definition. In January, after months o him putting diapers in the adult potty, looking between our legs while we were on the potty, and/or playing with the potties we got him, we decided to pre-train. We put him on the potty in the middle of diaper changes, before new diaper after cleaned. He dictated how long he stayed there and while there we explained tingle in your winkie means pee pee, a lump in your butt means poopy (yes we say pee pee and poopy you can't say kids grow up too fast if you skip over the fun stuff of being a kid). In february, he used the potty for the first time. He has umbelievable holding capabilities so we discovered diaperless, he holds it until he gets to the potty but if he's wearing a diaper he'll go in the diaper. The plan was to use underwear when out of the house in early May but I broke my foot so that plan is on hold until the end of June. He has chosen underwear over diapers before. He rarely has an accident. After he masters away from home we'll try sleeping diaperless.
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