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How to Please a Picky Eater
Filed under: Preschoolers, Big Kids, Tweens, Teens, Nutrition: Health, Mealtime
Help your kid take a gastronomic adventure. Credit: Corbis
From soupy sauces to brown beans, we all had foods that we couldn't tolerate as children. If you ever sat at the dinner table scowling and closed-mouthed while your parents begged you to eat, you were not alone.
According to a study by Dr. Betty Carruth of the American Dietetic Association, nearly 50 percent of caretakers considered their child a picky eater.
Though the occurrence is common, parents rightfully worry when they are faced with a child who refuses to eat. Don't worry -- we have five tips to help parents of cuisine-phobic kids.
1. Spend. Take your child on a field trip to your local farmer's market. From this hearth of healthy foods, have her select 10 yummy fruits and vegetables.
2. Entertain. Make mealtimes fun by presenting food in interesting ways. Cut sandwiches into stars. Serve veggies in fun-shaped bowls. Use colorful cups, spoons, and plates.
3. Challenge. From the produce section of the supermarket, ask your child to choose a fruit for the whole family to try. Make this your family's fruit-of-the-week.
4. Enlist. Have your child make a list of the foods they love. From this list, create several well-balanced menus. Consider including your child in the preparation of these meals. This can be educational and fun.
5. Retreat. Although your child's tastes are eccentric, are her meals balanced? If they are, then you should permit her preferences. Remember there will be bigger battles to fight.
Even if your child is a picky eater, you can appease her peculiar palate and make sure she's getting the nutrition she needs. Remember: Food should be fun, not frustrating.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 3)
4-09-2010 @ 3:43PM
Simone said...Please a picky eater?? How about making the meal "entertaining?" Whatever happened to discipline and teaching children that not all things in life are fun and games?
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4-13-2010 @ 10:09AM
Rita said...I make so much great recipes for my food that they love and are healthy..our family started eating healthier..about a year ago my husband and I decided to stop going out to eat during the week. We found it helped us cut the calories.. the problem was that I was doing all the cooking, while he sat on his butt. then i found this beginner's cookbook for him.. it was perfect.. hilarious, and very politically incorrect. I can't tell you the name of the book on here.. cause some of the more conservative readers will jump down my throat, but if you have a good sense of humor and are not easily offended.. google "Whipped & Be aten Culinary Works".. but seriously. .don't go if you can't take a good joke!.. also don't go if you have children next to you!!:)
4-13-2010 @ 2:54PM
J said...When my child decided he didn't want what was on the table for dinner, I made it clear to him by saying, "this is't Piccadilly" (a local cafeteria restaurant), and this is what we're having for dinner tonight." I did encourage him to take a "no thank you" bite to see if he liked it and I told him that he needed to try things again in the future, because people's tastes change every 7 years." I didn't offer to fix him something he liked and it wasn't long before he was eating what we had. He's now grown and loves, spinach, cabbage, mustard greens, green beans, carrots, turnips, brussel sprouts, peas, and lots more veggies. Now when he comes over, he's the first at the table to get some "mom" cooking. He never grew to like tomatoes, though. I suppose one out of all the veggies offered isn't bad.
4-09-2010 @ 4:31PM
Christine said...What ever happened to the value of being able to eat what's set in front of you, even if it isn't one of your favorites? This generation seems to be rapidly losing that necessary life skill due to overindulgent parents. Here's a novel idea: Present your child tasty, nutritious, well-prepared meals. Establish a rule that there will be no seconds of any food until everything offered has been at least tasted. Now allow your child to eat as much or as little as s/he likes, but there will be no other food served until the next mealtime. No alternate dinners, no cereal or PB&J an hour later. Let your child experience the consequences of refusing to eat - i.e. hunger - and I guarantee s/he will only do it once or twice. Remember, no child ever starved to death because s/he didn't like what was on the menu. If you let them get hungry enough, they'll eat.
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4-13-2010 @ 12:17PM
BAIT said...I think Simone's and Christine's comments are right on. However, I tried this with my son who not only is picky but very squeamish. The result was that he vomited on the plate. Then we were both distressed and his appetite was ruined. I really could use some ideas for kids who really do not have a big list of foods they like. It is one thing for a child to eat the same thing over and over again if the meals are balanced; it is quite another to have a child who gets physically ill when forced to eat something he finds not-palatable.
My mom said my brother was the same way but now he will eat just about anything. So, I guess I will just have to be patient and keep hoping my son will change.
4-09-2010 @ 8:07PM
Mihir said...huh. i was just going to post, but the 2 above me beat me to it. kudos to Simone and Christine.
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4-10-2010 @ 11:43PM
Sifrina said...Love the suggestions/tips, especially about taking kids to farmer markets and getting them involved in the food prep. I get so busy after I get home from work I tend to forget to do this. In my home, I don't run a restaurant, but I definitely don't take the discipline-oriented approach Simone, Christine and Mihir seem to take. I suppose you can have a showdown with your kids, with strictly enforced rules such as: "No seconds of things you like (even if they are healthful)!" "No healthful snacks in between meals, only hunger!" and"No fun at the dinner table allowed, OR in the kitchen with mom or dad beforehand!" but GOSH, I wouldn't want those rules imposed on me!
I totally get that parents don't want to have that freaky kid that only eats PB&J at every meal, but you don't have to be overly rigid to avoid that. My 7 3/4 year old son may not be super picky, but he definitely knows what he likes (and doesn't like, which changes all the time! I definitely saw the "food jags" when he was younger). Yet he has always been willing to try a wide range foods (in our home, in other people's homes, and even in formal dining rooms). My experience is that a more positive or "nonchalant" approach beats a forceful, nagging one any day. And I do respect that some weeks he's a little less interested in a particular food (and requests I not pack that in his lunch), and some days he's truly starving after eating a full dinner or lunch (because he's in a growth spurt; this does happen on occasion, not a big deal). If he's not touching a particular thing on his plate at a particular meal, but is devouring something else instead (which is nutritious), why make such an issue out of it (especially if he's not saying anything negative; why should I)? Why make meals such a battleground? Aren't we all entitled to not feel like eating something at a particular meal for whatever reason? At the table, like in most places, children learn best by example and respond greatly from hearing something something positive (other than nagging orders or constant criticism). As a parent, you can take whatever approach you want but, geez, doesn't anyone just want to lighten up, talk about something else, and just enjoy mealtime with their families?!?
Buen Provecho!
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4-13-2010 @ 12:43PM
Kathy said...We didn't nag our boys or get forceful with them but they WERE required to eat at least two bites of every food on the table. If they didn't eat the food served at the table they were allowed to leave, the food was saved, and when they got hungry, it was placed in front of them again. We also advised them to eat the things they liked least FIRST since we all know that *anything* tastes better when you're hungry than when you're nearly full. It wasn't a big deal, it was just the rule, and when you are consistent and reasonable, they learn how things are and deal with it. They also learned that even a food they disliked when prepared one way might be acceptable or even good when prepared another -- there's more than one way to served broccoli or peas than just to boil the life out of them!
This was not just to exert control or to be mean, but it also was a design to help the boys in their adult lives. Think about a work position where you are invited to dine at your boss' house. You sit down at the table and when the meal his wife has spent half the day on is served you say, "Oh, I don't like broccoli." You have now insulted your hostess, especially since you didn't even *try* the dish, and you've shown your boss that you jump to conclusions without doing any research or fact-checking. (Obviously "I'm allergic to this or that" is a different situation.)
Now the boys are grown, and they have foods they love and others they don't care for so much, but they will try anything at least once or twice. They can walk into most dining situations confident that they will behave appropriately and not embarrass themselves. And they eat, when finances permit, a wide range of foods -- including some that many people won't begin to touch such as squid (calamari), caviar (there ARE reasonably-priced types available, though it's not cheap) and most vegetables.
The WERE spared the experience of Brussels sprouts -- I've never found a way to cook those that makes them palatable, so there might be one exception.
4-14-2010 @ 11:45AM
Lala said...I am with you all the way, Sifrina!!!
6-13-2010 @ 10:29AM
Nicole S said...I agree. I feel that my job as a mom is to provide healthy options to my son at meal time. As long as I do my job, it doesn't matter to me if he won't eat something during a meal. As long as he's being nourished (even if he only wants to eat 1 thing at meal time), that's fine with me.
And if your child refuses to eat vegetables or fruit, find creative ways to get them to eat them. My son is 16 months old and he loves vegetables, but I "sneak" pureed carrots into spaghetti sauce. He loves it and doesn't know he's eating them obviously. :)
4-11-2010 @ 4:35AM
SKL said...I will take into account my picky kid's preferences, but I will not put on a whole circus at mealtime to get her to eat. I will make sure that if I'm serving something she really dislikes, there's enough of another option so that she can be satisfied. I'll serve a very small portion and inform the kids that they can have more if they ask (after their veggies are eaten). If it's a new food and Miss Picky finds it unpalateable, I will eat it or give it to her sister. But I won't prepare an alternative. I keep a few backup items that she can request - apple/berry sauce, brown bread. But I will not serve her between meals. She knows that if she doesn't eat at dinner, she'll be hungry until the next morning.
I used to be a little more militant, in that I'd decide how much she should eat, put it on her plate, and insist that she clear her plate. I found that she actually eats more, on average, if it's served "buffet style" or if she can have it in multiple small servings. She finds a full plate overwhelming.
The problem with putting forth a ton of effort for a picky kid - aside from spoiling the kid - is that there is no guarantee that she'll in fact eat the food you so painstakingly prepared. It's enough of a letdown when you prepare your child's "favorite" meal only to find that she "doesn't like that anymore." I can just imagine going to extra effort to make it all cute and pretty, only to hear "I can't eat this." And another thing - kids who are picky are not necessarily open to the idea of different-colored plates, etc. My kid expects her food to be served on the same plate every day. Variety at mealtime can be a turn-off, depending on the child and the day.
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4-11-2010 @ 7:28PM
Sifrina said...Something parents should try to avoid - kids' menus at restaurants! I know lots of parents like them because they are economical and a guaranteed slam dunk (while grown ups can enjoy their adult food in peace), but we all know those little kids who literally eat ONLY 1 of the following when eating out: chicken tenders, pizza, hot dogs, mac n cheese, and buttered pasta. I resent the notion it has to be this way for our children as well.
When my family eats out at a restaurant with a kids' menu, I find a discreet way of putting that darn kids' menu out of sight. I don't make a big deal if my son wants to order one of those dishes but generally if I suggest something more adventurous, he'll willingly split it with me as this is very exciting (we've learned over the years the socially acceptable thing to do if we truly hate what's in our mouths; I always praise him for being open minded). I get very frustrated with servers who think children should only eat off the kids' menus, which are really contributing to the problem of 1 dimensional eaters!!
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4-11-2010 @ 11:51PM
SKL said...At restaurants, I normally don't order for the kids at all, other than milk. They share whatever the adults are having. They do have one favorite restaurant where I will let them share one side item off the kids' menu, or rarely, I'll let them buy a kids' meal with their own money.
I don't push dietary agendas at restaurants. Whatever I order (which is usually healthy or neutral), they can take it or leave it. But like at home, if they don't eat, they will be hungry until the next meal. They are smart enough to understand that; it doesn't make them "miserable," just a tad more sensible.
4-11-2010 @ 11:15PM
Christine said...Discipline-oriented? No healthful snacks between meals, only hunger? Please. Picky eating is a dysfunctional relationship with food that can grow to epic proportions. When the list of foods your child will eat is only a few lines long, and the list of foods s/he won't eat is EVERYTHING ELSE, it already has. So don't let it get to that point. By setting clear, simple, concise guidelines you eliminate the power struggle. Everyone deserves a healthy, natural, joyful relationship with food. Picky eaters whose parents jump through hoops to appease them aren't developing that.
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4-13-2010 @ 10:03PM
Sifrina said...Christine - Going too far in either direction is a mistake in my view. Balance and minimal criticism at mealtime has served us really well and the proof is in the pudding - our son does great with exploring the wonderful world of food and there's no need for a "power struggle" or stringent rules. You may think anything other than your way is indulgent but any pediatrician will tell you it's a mistake to make food an issue. At our family meals we really have a chance to talk about wonderful things (other than simply what everyone's eating/not eating/should be eating).
4-13-2010 @ 7:00AM
Pam said...I get such a chuckle out of articles like this because it takes me back to when my son (now 31 yrs old) was such a picky eater, I felt I had to "put my foot down". I made him bite into a brussel sprout. He promptly vomited all over his plate! Never again! I felt awful. Hindsite is 20/20. Young kids grow up to enjoy food. Meal time shouldn't be a battle ground.
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4-13-2010 @ 10:09PM
Sifrina said...Pam - My husband had the same experience with stewed tomatoes. First an angry showdown with his father at the dinner table, and then, when forced to eat it, threw it up all over the place. So who won that battle?? My husband LOVES brussel sprouts (plus eel, broccoli, escargot, crabs, and many other things) but can only take tomatoes pureed to this day. Sometimes people are smart enough to know what they can tolerate and what they can't!!
4-13-2010 @ 8:25AM
Stephanie said...We've always subscribed to the "one bite won't kill you" motto (although I suppose it could make you throw up as someone else posted) at the dinner table and you have to take a "polite bite" of everything (adults also have to take a polite bite). And, from the time he began sitting at the table if after that one bite he didn't like it instead of blurting "YUCK, GROSS, DISGUSTING," we practiced saying "I don't care for that," or if asked if he wanted more saying "no thank you, I didn't care for that." Grandmas especially appreciate this. We also don't go out of our way with special dinnerware. We do however, do a "color check" and try to make sure what we have on our plates includes lots of colors and suggest "Dad is missing orange, Mom is missing dark green."
I am very thankful that we've addressed our picky eater consistently all along and not created a dinnertime circus. We just spent a recent holiday with a child who's diet contains mostly starch, has to take fiber supplements for irregularity, and didn't eat anything "green" the whole time we were there. At the age of 10 her bad food habits have already caught up with her and she is obese. When we left our 12 year old said "Mom, she didn't eat one colorful thing the whole time we were there." Apparently standing our "one bite won't kill you" ground has made a positive impact here.
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4-13-2010 @ 8:33AM
Karen said...I don't believe in "making" someone eat something they don't like! Food should be enjoyable along with being healthy. I always put a small amount of a new food (or even one they had tried before) on their plate. They would try it, and even if they didn't care for it the first or second time, eventually their taste buds woke up and that became their new favorite food! If you force food on a child then they will come to dread mealtime!! Having dinner with the family should be a time of relaxing, sharing, and staying in touch with your kids! Lighten up people and get out of the old days! I grew up in the 60's 70's and even though my parent never forced us to eat foods we didn't like, we weren't allowed to waste food either! I am a Chef...so food is an important part of my life! I grow my own veg, and even my grand daughter will get the chance to pick things out of the garden and help me prepare it. Make food choices interesting and the kids will eat it!!
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4-13-2010 @ 8:55AM
Vicki said...Stars? I can see it as a novelty,but kids need to learn how to eat like the rest of us...like eating an apple with the skin...once you cave in, you're constantly reinforcing "hig=maintenance" behavior.
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