Opinion: Latest Spanking Study Will Have Zero Effect on Parents
Filed under: Opinions
When I read that a recent study found spanking makes children more aggressive, my first thought was maybe this will convince parents that spanking is a bad idea.
Then I woke up.
Whenever a study about spanking is released, I am surprised by the number of parents who say they spank on a regular basis. And not only do they believe it is effective, they don't think of it as abuse.
In case you haven't guessed, I don't spank my kids. Still, I believe strongly in considering other people's points of view; I try to keep an open mind and sometimes I even change my opinion. However, the reasons I've seen people give in support of spanking aren't very convincing. But I guess that's just me, because based on the comments left on this latest story, as well as those left on one from last year, I'm convinced that those who spank are going to keep doing what they do, no matter what anyone says.
Spanking defenders are careful to define what they feel is appropriate: heinie hitting, yes; anything that leaves a mark, no.
"Spanking on the bottom is not corp punishment...I'm now in my 60s and didn't turn out wrong," one commenter states. "Get real and go back to what really works."
Another reader writes, "I believe in spanking -- bottom only." Another adds, "Spanking doesn't cause bad behavior; bad behavior leads to spanking" and "Nobody said bruising is acceptable."
Back in October 2009, a study found spanking lowers a child's IQ. While a two to five point difference on an IQ test is less serious than a child who grows up to have aggressive tendencies, the defense of spanking from our readers was just as vigorous last year as it is now.
In a comment about last year's spanking-equals-lower IQ study, one reader brags about having an IQ of 168, despite being spanked "from about age 3 to about age 15."
Another writes: "There is a big difference between a disciplinary spanking and a beating," adding that "Perhaps if parents were not so afraid to spank children, there would be less smart-mouthed, budding criminals having babies before they graduate high school."
The problem with the "I was spanked and I'm fine" logic is that it works both ways. For example, I wasn't spanked, and I'm fine. A two-pack-a-day smoker who doesn't get lung cancer doesn't prove that smoking is good for you.
Actually, I was spanked once -- by someone else's mother. She regularly spanked her kids, and since I was in her house and had misbehaved, she decided I should get the same treatment. It was a long time ago, but all I can remember feeling is annoyed. Why is she doing this? Is this supposed to make me not do whatever it was that I did?
It was another punishment -- being forced to eat dinner in the bathroom -- that made me reconsider my behavior. I don't remember what kiddie crime had been committed, but here we are many years later, and I vividly recall cutting a piece of meat while resting my plate on the toilet.
So the Toilet Dinner worked. But have I tried it with my kids? Nah. I have bad memories of a bathroom smell mixed in with my potatoes. However, when it comes to spanking defenders, it seems the opposite is true. They didn't like being spanked, but they think it made them what they are today. Which is ... a parent who spanks.
So, to the spankers, I say this: Instead of dismissing all studies as suspect, why not consider other methods of discipline? No one is suggesting you change your parenting style based on one study, or even several studies. Just keep an open mind.
It takes a village to raise a child, but the villagers shouldn't be armed with pitchforks.
Related: Researcher Says a Little Spanking Is Good for Kids











ReaderComments (Page 1 of 2)
4-16-2010 @ 1:26PM
SKL said...I am sorry, you were trying to sound intelligent, but in the end, you come out looking like a blithering idiot.
The idea that people who spank have never "considered other methods of discipline" is just stupid. People who spank do employ other methods of discipline, usually more often than they spank. It is amazing that you don't know that, yet you feel qualified to write an article on spanking.
Either way, why do you think that judging other parents' legal discipline methods is appropriate?
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4-16-2010 @ 1:50PM
roz bell said...Did you ever see the "Pink Floyd The Wall" video (probably not) where the head school master sadistically beats the kids because at home his "fat phycopathic wife" beats him... I did, and I think it's a very fitting documentary of the mental aspects of corp. punishment(s) in schools today. I'm sorry, the connection between teachers and parents was lost 35 years ago when a student was "whupped" and your parents knew about it before you even got home with the spun version of what happened. Total strangers whom I don't know, from far away places who local culture is differnt than ours does not have my heart in his/her heart... I welcom your thoughts. Copr. punishment is usually performed out of frustration.
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4-16-2010 @ 2:48PM
simona said...It's a huge waste of time to hit anybody for any reason. The kids will just make a game out of it to see who can get hit the most. What happen to writting on the chalk board. WERE BETTER THAN THAT!
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4-19-2010 @ 11:15AM
chris said...wow! Lots of reasons in defense of spanking from the spankers! Are you trying to convince us those are good enough reasons?.....or yourself.............might want to try asking the silent victim...the child.
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4-19-2010 @ 11:57AM
kam said...Typical response from a "spanker" to laugh at their helpless victims. Obviously, hitting someone who cannot defend themselves is "hilarious" !! "Glorious"??? I think not...only in your own mind!!
4-17-2010 @ 2:34AM
Jez said...I really appreciate the sentiments in this article. The "I was spanked and I'm fine" defense makes me very saddened by the obvious lack of understanding human psychology.
The key is predisposition. If a person is predisposed to a disorder, and is exposed to the proper stimuli in order to activate this disordered neurological reaction, they will experience the symptoms of the disorder. A person who has a predisposition to depression (correlated, as one recent study suggests, with a specific formation of alleles involved with the management of serotonin) is more likely to develop depression than someone who does not have this predisposition, even if they experience the same traumatic events.
I think of aggression and spanking the same way. A kid NOT prone to anger management issues, conduct disorder and/or heightened aggression will not develop these issues if you spank them. They may become somewhat more aggressive than they would have become otherwise, but there is no definitive way to know this as the damage has already been done. Overall, they may turn out just fine.
However, a kid that is predisposed to these issues will not react well. They will become more aggressive, as the study suggests, and heightened aggression is associated with a higher risk of behavioral problems.
Do I think it's appropriate to lightly smack the back of a kid's hand if they are reaching for something they know they shouldn't touch? Of course. Not agreeing with spanking doesn't mean that I don't foresee times when it is appropriate to touch your child in a way that is not comfortable for them. But in the end, I've seen enough evidence to convince me that spanking has been shown to be a highly ineffective punishment on it's own. If you just yell and spank a kid, it will generally not prevent repetitions of the bad behavior, nor will it get your kids to cooperate with you if you are spanking them for not doing what they are told. Spanking-based parenting can only work if there are effective communication and well-established ground rules for behavior. But as these methods are generally effective on their own... why add spanking to them?
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4-16-2010 @ 10:30PM
phoenixmichaelson said...People used to think it was necessary to "spank" adult members of the community, military trainees, and prisoners. In some countries they still do. In our country, it is considered sexual battery if a person over the age of 18 is "spanked", but only if over the age of 18.
For one thing, because the buttocks are so close to the sex organs and so multiply linked to sexual nerve centers, striking them can trigger powerful and involuntary sexual stimulus in some people. There are numerous physiological ways in which it can be intentionally or unintentionally sexually abusive, but I won't list them all here. One can read the testimony, documentation, and educational resources available from the website of Parents and Teachers Against Violence In Education at www.nospank.net.
Child buttock-battering vs. DISCIPLINE:
Child buttock-battering (euphemistically labeled "spanking","swatting","switching","smacking", "paddling",or other cute-sounding names) for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.
Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.
I think the reason why television shows like "Supernanny" and "Dr. Phil" are so popular is because that is precisely what many (not all) people are trying to do.
There are several reasons why child bottom-slapping isn't a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:
Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak,
The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson,
NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
by Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D.
Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child bottom-slapping isn't a good idea:
American Academy of Pediatrics,
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
American Psychological Association,
Center For Effective Discipline,
Churches' Network For Non-Violence,
Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu,
Parenting In Jesus' Footsteps,
Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children,
United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child.
In 26 countries, child corporal punishment is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.
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4-16-2010 @ 10:56PM
Nancy said...HOW MANY TIMES do we need to say it? It's not the method of discipline that matters, it's whether it conforms to what is the norm at any place and time. Kids in cultures where spanking is common are *less* aggressive then kids who aren't spanked.
More to the point, why refer to these studies in the first place? Could it be that we have so little faith in other parents, our kids and ourselves that we feel we have to look to science to give us the answers?
I'll let you in on a secret: Science doesn't have answers (though having reviewed many of these "studies" I hesitate to even refer to them as such). Most people conform to social norms unconsciously. In other words, we instinctively feel one way or another about something like spanking without realizing that we're simply conforming. But the fact that so many people feel the need to coerce parents into adopting their point of view says something about our society.
We do not trust other parents to know the difference between a spanking and a beating. We do not trust that our children are resilient enough to be spanked without turning into monsters and most of all we don't trust ourselves. We should spend less time picking apart other people's decisions and go out of our way to support the what other parents do, even if we might not do the same. If we'd leave parents alone, they'd be more confident, they'd stop obsessing and everyone would be better off.
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4-16-2010 @ 11:45PM
SKL said...Yes, if people didn't feel the need to be "closet spankers," maybe they could gain some wisdom from each other and avoid some of the issues caused by improper use of the tool called spanking. And, they could be consistent versus acting one way in private and another way in public.
4-17-2010 @ 9:35AM
irishlady10123 said...spanking , when done in the right circumstances IE: when a child runs out into the road after being told not to, i an appropriate form of discipline. i could care less what the aap or the American Academy of child and adolescent psychiatry or what any other organization states.if my kid is in danger and is not listening to my verbal commands i WILL spank their asses . a stern voice making it clear why they are about to be spanked followed by one to two pats on the rear is sufficient for my 2 when they are putting themselves in harms way and not listening to my warning. as long as the child is not being beaten by their parents, it is nobodys business how a parent disciplines their own child. i do agree that children are not property,but they are not yet adults either and when a time out or talking it out is not appropriate for a particular situation, a parent should be able to spank a child to prevent a child from going into harms way
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4-17-2010 @ 9:47AM
irishlady10123 said...these studies are absolute bull most of these recomendations are probably made by people whose parent used to beat the hell out of them with objects or their fist and due to that have issues and therefore need to see a therapist themselves before telling other parents how to raise their kids. spanking is far different from child abuse when used properly and used for the right situation. i see a lot of conflicting studies out there on this subject. some say spanking has bad effects and some say that spankin has zero bad effects. well here is my advice to p[arents who are way too confused over these studies--- don't even bother believing all this crap. just go with your own gut as far as disciplining YOUR children are concerned. As long as you are not beating your kids, you have no reason to fear that spanking your kids when you feel the situation is appropriate is going to mess up your kids.YOU know your kids better than any of these so called experts
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4-17-2010 @ 9:58AM
irishlady10123 said...roz bell.
i do not believe that others such as teachers or school principals have the right to put their hands on kids that are not their own, but the parents should have the right to discipline their kids how they see fit as long as it is not abusive such as beating or leaving marks and bruises and the punnisment is appropriate for the situation. i see a lot of problem children in school and i believe it is because the parents hands are virtually tied by their local laws on discipline,so these parents who have tried every other method of discipline cannot correct their kids with spanking and therefore their children end up having a free pass to behave and act however they want without regard to the effects their disrepect has on others. i think we do need to bring spanking back and make it legal everwhere. that way kids learn how to respect authority and both parents and teachers are happy
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4-17-2010 @ 7:43PM
cinnamontoast said...Look- I was spanked as a child and it didn't ruin my life. I have a good relationship with my parents. But I decided *not* to spank. And my parents, who told me that I would end up spanking sooner or later, ended up coming around to my way of seeing things. There is another way. I have a sweet, (mostly!) well behaved child. I have never- ever- had a complaint from one of his teacher about behavior issues. The thing is to model for them the behavior you want to see. Do you want your kid to keep hitting other kids? Then keep hitting him.
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4-18-2010 @ 8:33AM
mlbs1065 said...When i was little i was punished with a long hickory switch that
left blood running down my legs and my back now i guess
you want to tell that was ok for a grown person to do to a child?
I dont think so.
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4-18-2010 @ 9:39AM
abtru said...I'm a mother of four and have used spanking as a way to disipline, but it was always used as a very last resort and never while I was angry or frustrated with my children for their behavior. I also have the rule that once they hit a more reasoning age of four or five that I no longer spank them instead I talk to them about what they've done and why I'm unhappy with them followed by some other punshment if the behavior doesn't stop. I also like to point out that spanking is a broad term with so many implactations attached. In our home a spanking was two swats on the butt with clothes on using your hand, it never hurt them or even left a red mark it just let them know what the time out chair wasn't teaching them which was I will not allow you to behave this way. That being said my children now 13, 11, 6, 4 all have minor slipups in their behavior but nothing compared to what I see other children doing. None of them are aggressive or screamers and all of them have high I.Q.s including scholarships to privated schools with college prep courses for the two oldest. Spanking should never be the only tool you use and it hardly ever is with parents but sometimes it is the most effective tool we have to make the behavior stop immediatly.
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4-18-2010 @ 11:22PM
SKL said...You know, if spanking didn't work with my kids, I'd stop. I wouldn't need a "study" to tell me it wasn't effective. But since it is effective with my kids, I do not intend to stop. Why is that so hard to understand?
I love hearing inexperienced people tell me that I should stop because my spanking is having no effect. How do they know? Have they been to my house and observed my kids? Have they observed me and my five siblings, niece, nephew, and parents, all of whom were spanked, all of whom are gifted, and none of whom are aggressive?
Arguing that spanking proves aggressive tendencies, by the way, is stupid. It's about as intelligent as saying that if you strap your child into a car seat, that means you go around tying people up, and so will your children.
And as another person mentioned, you conveniently ignore studies that indicate positive results of spanking, even as you deride spankers for not abandoning their parenting choices based on the studies that happen to support your opinion.
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4-18-2010 @ 11:32PM
SKL said...Cinnamontoast, I agree with the first 4/5 of your comment. That's great that you tried not spanking (don't we all, at first) and it worked well with your one sweet child.
Problem is, you can't assume that what works with your child will work with every other child. Some kids are more compliant and reasonable than others from birth. Also, raising an only child is an entirely different proposition than raising siblings.
Another parent whose child has a different temperament could follow the same practices you followed, and end up with a terribly unruly child. I'd say the same thing to parents who are dead-set on spanking though their particular child doesn't seem to benefit from it. It's a decision that parents need to make based on knowing their individual child as well as being knowlegeable and wise about different discipline options.
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4-19-2010 @ 8:42AM
liz said...Ever heard the term cruel and unusual punishment? Forcing your kid to eat dinner in the bathroom is cruel and unusual. Spanking is not. Parents have been spanking their children for centuries upon centuries. Spanking, not beating. My parents spanked me, and I have every intention of spanking my children when I become a mother. In the same loving (yes, I said loving) way my mother always did. After sufficient warning, she would follow through by spanking me every time. I wasn't left wondering where she stood on things. She was consistent. And after each spanking, after I had finished crying, she would ask me if I understood what I had done wrong and why she had to spank me. Then she would remind me that she spanked me because she loved me and because she wanted me to grow up to be a good person, because if I was not a good person I would not be happy. She never spanked me in anger, and she never told me I was bad. When it was all over, I knew I was loved and did not feel hurt or humiliated. I was determined to try to behave better next time. Now that is effective discipline.
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4-19-2010 @ 9:00AM
liz said...Absolutely not! That is abuse, not spanking. There are plenty of responsible parents out there, mine included, who know how to spank without being abusive. Spanking should not leave bruises or scars. And it should be accompanied by loving communication, not screaming, yelling and name-calling.
And I am tired of everyone saying that spanking teaches children to hit. That is just not true. I didn't have any trouble knowing the difference as a child. I was not aggressive, have never been in a physical fight, even with my own siblings, and I never hit anyone. I always understood the purpose of spanking, because my mother talked to me about it.
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4-19-2010 @ 11:11AM
kam said...Sounds like you're pretty sure YOU are right! No village may be raising your kids, but we are the ones who have to deal with your violent kids thanks to you modeling hitting in your home. Do you think it's "funny" when you are called up to school because your child is bullying another? I do not think being the victim of bullying is "hilarious"...do you? ...but then again..maybe you get a good "laugh" when others are hurt.
I know I don't...I teach my children hitting is wrong..and I model that behavior...by NOT hitting them!
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