'Bully List' Irks Parent When Her Son Makes the Top 6

by Tom Henderson (Subscribe to Tom Henderson's posts)
Apr 19th 2010 4:00PM

Teachers at Wire Village School in Spencer, Mass., asked students to make a list of the school's biggest bullies.

Danielle Gebo complained when Tom, her 11-year-old son, was suspended from recess for not only making the list, but ranking in the top six.

And now Ralph Hicks, superintendent of the Spencer-East Brookfield Regional School District, located about 80 miles east of Boston, is feeling picked on.

After Gebo complained, Hicks did some checking. He found out school administrators violated Goss vs. Lopez, a 1975 U.S. Supreme Court ruling that found public school districts must conduct hearings before students are suspended.
It's a matter of due process under the 14th Amendment.

"I had no choice but to stop the punishment," Hicks tells ParentDish.

That was that. Or so he thought.

Hicks tells ParentDish he thought Gebo left his office early last week satisfied that justice was served. Then came the calls from CNN, Fox News and other news agencies.

Hicks says he doesn't quite understand the furor.

"I characterize this as a tempest in a teapot," he says.

Contrary to reports on Fox News, he adds, none of the other parents of the alleged bullies complained, the superintendent tells ParentDish.

Hicks says Wire Village School Principal Linda Crewe and her staff were concerned about bullying after news reports that 15-year-old Phoebe Prince committed suicide in January in nearby South Hadley, Mass., after being hounded by bullies.

"I certainly supported the principal's intent," Hicks tells ParentDish. Nonetheless, he adds, students' due process rights cannot be ignored.

Hicks says he finds the media storm over the death of Prince a bit troubling. He remembers when 11-year-old Carl Walker-Hoover of Springfield, Mass., hanged himself last April after allegedly enduring daily anti-gay bullying.

Walker-Hoover's death didn't get nearly as much press, Hicks says. He suspects there's a reason. Walker-Hoover was black. Prince was white.

"Even with Barack Obama as president, there's still racism in this country," Hicks says. "I am glad the issue of bullying is being addressed, but there's still an imbalance here."

The situation in his school district is ironic, Hicks tells ParentDish. In the past, he says, parents have accused him of being soft on bullying. He denies that, saying he hates bullies. And his reasons are somewhat personal.

"I was 5 feet tall and weighed 100 pounds when I graduated from high school," the 64-year-old superintendent says. "I know all about bullies. Thank God I grew 5 inches before I started college in the fall."

Tom Gebo was suspended from recess as a result of ranking so high on the bully list. He admits to the Worcester Telegram & Gazette that he has indeed bullied other kids at the school (which serves fourth through sixth grades).

He even put his own name on the list.

"I had picked on a few kids, so I wrote that I bullied some kids and I signed my name," he tells the newspaper.

As a result, the Telegram & Gazette reports, a counselor met with the boy to go over strategies he can use when he's being bullied or when he feels like picking on someone else. The counselor also allegedly told him he doesn't need to share everything that happens at school with his mother.

"Parents should be poking and prodding their kids about what goes on at school," Danielle Gebo tells the newspaper. "We trust these school officials with our kids for six hours a day."

School district committee chairman Peter Rock tells the Telegram & Gazette creating the bully list was an over-reaction.

"Given what happened in South Hadley, I think people are being very cautious and sensitive," he says. "Unfortunately, sometimes people act in haste and make mistakes."

And yet Tom Gebo might have learned a lesson about bullying through all this.

"I know how it feels now," he tells CNN. "I think bullying is a bad thing and being bulled is an even badder thing."

Related: When Your Child Is the Bully

ReaderComments (Page 4 of 20)

Add Your Comments

4-19-2010 @ 8:20PM

reggie said...

Bullying is sometimes a learned behavior. The mother seems to be an irrational bully, very ignorant and self centered. Her son, an identified bully at school, hopefully learned a valuable lesson, but the mother is undermining it with her contacts to the news and with her lack of support of the school. DO NOT discipline or reprimand the staff/principal involved. They were not overreacting to a nearby bullied girl's suicide. They were doing the job they are paid to do, teaching difficult lessons to difficult students, dealing with difficult parents, and protecting kids who are picked on. I commend the staff at this school and say "Job well done". Please be proud of yourselves. You helped many children, maybe even saved someone's life. It's too bad one histrionic female is upset because she can't raise her bully son the right way.

4-19-2010 @ 8:35PM

vickif347 said...

ditto,I agree with you one hundred percent on this issue... Maybe should teach that mother not to make an ass of herself and say the principal should be fired and teachers disciplined . I think she should be disciplined for not being a proper mother.

4-19-2010 @ 8:36PM

jjsilva said...

I'm sure the mother would be singing a different tune if it was her kid who was being bullied.

Tom B said...

I always have used my dad as a fine example of what not to be... Maybe this kid can do the same with his mother...

4-19-2010 @ 8:22PM

montana mom said...

seems to me he learned a lesson....."now I know how it feels" if that is the case then good job teachers! sometimes the teachers have to do the job that the parents should have done!

4-19-2010 @ 8:24PM

Shaheed Hasan said...

So this bully says that he learned his lesson...and we just should beleive in him...? Come on give me a break..habits specially bad habits are hard to forget and I bet my life..if given a chance he will do exactly the same thing again and again to other good kids.
Another question is he learned his lesson from one incident...but how about countless numbers of time he bullied all those children who cried, who were felt insecure, were insulted..? He should be given the same treatment over and over again so that this bully learns his lesson so hard that other wanna be bullies learn from this example. If it were me..I would put his poster size pictures all over the town with BULLY written underneath the pictures.

4-19-2010 @ 8:59PM

Kristen said...

It is very possible that he learned his lesson. no one wants to be singled out for something bad. its kinda embarrasing. he might not change overnight but i think he may have gotten a taste of his own medicine.

4-19-2010 @ 9:49PM

Ray Wright said...

Bullies will always be bullies. It is time that parents acknowleddge this. When they try to defend their kids, its to late. ^0 years ago when I was where the kids are today. Bullies have not changed nor have these parents. Evil is evg=il. and taht needs to be faced and corrected.
The bully, male or female are a pr5oduct of the flesh and need to be addressed openly. If parents cannot see the problem, then it is the resopnciabity of the school, neighbor hood or the legal system.
Ray

4-19-2010 @ 8:26PM

Terrie said...

This mother is the very reason that this kid has a problem! I would be ashamed if that child were my son and he was percieved to be a person others in the school want to avoid. She needs to heed this "lesson" and start being a parent instead of coming to the aid of "her little darling" (AKA- BRAT!)

4-20-2010 @ 7:16PM

cbelanger said...

I used to be a teacher and I wish I had thought of the bully list.
I remember kids didn't want to come forward in case there would be more bullying towards them. With the bully list, kids get to tell on the big bully without feeling like a tattle tale.

Barb said...

Every parent wants someone else's child on the bully list, but God forbid you put their child on the bully list. I learned early on as a parent and an elementary school teacher to let kids work things out on their own. When adults get involved, everything escalates. If you witness some bullying, by all means step in and stop it, but don't put labels on children!

4-19-2010 @ 8:31PM

tiff said...

Praises to that school!!! we cried out for something to be done in ours schools for bullies and they rallied to our cries! GREAT JOB, maybe more schools will come on board and parents that are offended will teach their kids how to behave outside of the home and how to better interact with the kids they go to school with!

4-19-2010 @ 8:38PM

tom said...

stop your whinning lady maybe if you diciplined your brat teachers wouldn t have to. it sounds to me like your brat learned a much needed lesson,maybe you should be fired as a parent

4-19-2010 @ 8:30PM

julia said...

YOU PPL ARE RETARDS. ALL OF YOU WHO THINK THAT THE LIST IS OK. GUESS WHAT IM 14 AND IVE SEEN BULLIES. JUST CAUSE THE KID HAS BEEN A BULLY DOSENT MEAN THAT HE SHOULD GET BULLIED BY THE TECHERS. if someones overweight and they get bullied lose the pounds. guess what its good for you. the mom has every right to get mad. if i called u bad parents and that your kids were mean and are now being harrassed in school you would just shutup. if you would u have issues. polly, no one should be made an example of. maybe you should be on the bully list.well se how u like it. the teachers should be fired and the principle. you cant let this contiue were everyday in the boys life he has to go through thuis. and the kid who is getting bullied needs to wise up and defend himself. this should not go on

4-19-2010 @ 8:43PM

Big lineman 65 said...

The kid learned his lesson and hun you're 14 you don't have enough life experience to say anything. You've probably never been bullied that's why you think other kids should get over it. I'm over weight been that way since elementary and you know what it was cause of medical conditions, not everyone has control of what they look like. I did get bullied and i did get harrassed and you know what i would have rocked that kid, hell in high school i still would. That kid deserved every thing he got Karma sucks, if it would have gone on the kid would have gotten worse, and would have ended up saying something to the wrong person, and honetly if he would have made fun of me i would have knocked him out and taught him a lesson. The mom is a complete idiot, she just wanted attention and got it anyway she could. Maybe she needs to go to some parenting classes. Oh and you say the teachers are picking on him? does that mean when you go to detention for doing something wrong they are picking on you? No there are rules and a structure in life get over it, everyone has to listen and when they don't they get punished it is a fact of life

4-19-2010 @ 10:39PM

Etta said...

Julia, Are you afraid this will come to your school and you will make the list? I bet you have picked on a fat kid or two before. Bet you'd make the top of the list. The list should be made in every classroom, by the students that way the teachers would know which kids they should watch. Julia just remember someday you are going to push some poor fat kid to far and instead of losing the weight they are going to come after you. I hope for your sake you wise up before someone takes their anger of being bullied out on your stupid ass.

4-19-2010 @ 8:33PM

revolt said...

You know To be fare I did not read the whole story on the bully list. Its just makes me sick. Its more knee jerk sissy american culture lawing away human nature. This new micro retarded tinking will be misused and create a geray area. This so called bully boys and girls will be hannered even if the argue with a class mate, that how I see this, you know in america when a rule or law is layed down one crime fits all. We have become a weak culture with this micro minded lets law away our fears.Let me also say the girl who hung herself was sad, but I bet if she complained to the higher ups in school, you know the LIBS who make the rules and they did nothing and we know they did nothing I bethca if she turned around and wacked one of them SHE would have been labeled the problem thats because we live in a sissy ass, weak minded, soft ass culture of LIB'S America is not the land of the free, its the land of cry babies and LIB'S. Kids bully, so f-in what, iy's been going on for ever, why now do we need to PROFILE our young kids, we wont even profle those of 9-11 lol. Im sure theres a bloger who will call me out on this, thats fine. Lets not profile our kids foe anythng, lets treat each case as it is and teach OUR KIDS not law them down. We have become a sissy culture, does that make me a bully? isf so kiss my butt. LOL, Get over it. Sory for bad spelling, pn the road.

suw said...

The kid learned his lesson and now knows how it feels to be bullied.
Bullying goes on everday in schools. Sometimes under the radar
and sometimes out in the open. Obviously the students perceived
him as a bully so there must be some legitimacy to their accusations.
The mother is totally in the wrong and must admit that her son is a
bully and try to get him to learn the lesson. If a kid has to miss recess,
that hits him hard. If kids say that don't want to be his friend, it is
for a reason. Now they can face the bully without fear. This is a
GREAT IDEA.

rinsmith said...

You just hurt my feelings. Wait, isn't that something bullies do? Maybe someone should put you on a list.

4-19-2010 @ 8:34PM

j said...

WOW the mom is being so dramatic boo hoo the kid got his recess taken away and she wants the principal to be fired she is so dumb and I'm in favor of the bulling list most of the time teachers have no idea whether someone is being bullied or don't do anything about it i for one know

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