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'Bully List' Irks Parent When Her Son Makes the Top 6
Filed under: In The News, Bullying
Teachers at Wire Village School in Spencer, Mass., asked students to make a list of the school's biggest bullies.
Danielle Gebo complained when Tom, her 11-year-old son, was suspended from recess for not only making the list, but ranking in the top six.
And now Ralph Hicks, superintendent of the Spencer-East Brookfield Regional School District, located about 80 miles east of Boston, is feeling picked on.
After Gebo complained, Hicks did some checking. He found out school administrators violated Goss vs. Lopez, a 1975 U.S. Supreme Court ruling that found public school districts must conduct hearings before students are suspended.
It's a matter of due process under the 14th Amendment.
"I had no choice but to stop the punishment," Hicks tells ParentDish.
That was that. Or so he thought.
Hicks tells ParentDish he thought Gebo left his office early last week satisfied that justice was served. Then came the calls from CNN, Fox News and other news agencies.
Hicks says he doesn't quite understand the furor.
"I characterize this as a tempest in a teapot," he says.
Contrary to reports on Fox News, he adds, none of the other parents of the alleged bullies complained, the superintendent tells ParentDish.
Hicks says Wire Village School Principal Linda Crewe and her staff were concerned about bullying after news reports that 15-year-old Phoebe Prince committed suicide in January in nearby South Hadley, Mass., after being hounded by bullies.
"I certainly supported the principal's intent," Hicks tells ParentDish. Nonetheless, he adds, students' due process rights cannot be ignored.
Hicks says he finds the media storm over the death of Prince a bit troubling. He remembers when 11-year-old Carl Walker-Hoover of Springfield, Mass., hanged himself last April after allegedly enduring daily anti-gay bullying.
Walker-Hoover's death didn't get nearly as much press, Hicks says. He suspects there's a reason. Walker-Hoover was black. Prince was white.
"Even with Barack Obama as president, there's still racism in this country," Hicks says. "I am glad the issue of bullying is being addressed, but there's still an imbalance here."
The situation in his school district is ironic, Hicks tells ParentDish. In the past, he says, parents have accused him of being soft on bullying. He denies that, saying he hates bullies. And his reasons are somewhat personal.
"I was 5 feet tall and weighed 100 pounds when I graduated from high school," the 64-year-old superintendent says. "I know all about bullies. Thank God I grew 5 inches before I started college in the fall."
Tom Gebo was suspended from recess as a result of ranking so high on the bully list. He admits to the Worcester Telegram & Gazette that he has indeed bullied other kids at the school (which serves fourth through sixth grades).
He even put his own name on the list.
"I had picked on a few kids, so I wrote that I bullied some kids and I signed my name," he tells the newspaper.
As a result, the Telegram & Gazette reports, a counselor met with the boy to go over strategies he can use when he's being bullied or when he feels like picking on someone else. The counselor also allegedly told him he doesn't need to share everything that happens at school with his mother.
"Parents should be poking and prodding their kids about what goes on at school," Danielle Gebo tells the newspaper. "We trust these school officials with our kids for six hours a day."
School district committee chairman Peter Rock tells the Telegram & Gazette creating the bully list was an over-reaction.
"Given what happened in South Hadley, I think people are being very cautious and sensitive," he says. "Unfortunately, sometimes people act in haste and make mistakes."
And yet Tom Gebo might have learned a lesson about bullying through all this.
"I know how it feels now," he tells CNN. "I think bullying is a bad thing and being bulled is an even badder thing."
Related: When Your Child Is the Bully












ReaderComments (Page 5 of 20)
4-19-2010 @ 8:34PM
Dave Tuck said...Don't dish it out if you can't take it.
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4-19-2010 @ 8:36PM
juli said...If they consult the parents before putting the child on the bully list, of course , the mom is just going to defend him, ---right or wrong.
That's what's wrong with kids these days. They have no fear of getting in trouble at home.or school ..b/c they know their mom is just going to defend them when they're wrong.
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4-19-2010 @ 11:00PM
Mississippiteacher said...AMEN!!!!!!!
4-19-2010 @ 8:43PM
C.J said...This mother is the reason america is going down the toliet...I hope her kid gets some serious conseling..She's teaching him that his bad aggressive maybe even violent behavor should go unpunished. Scary .......
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4-19-2010 @ 8:38PM
rdcjaca said...I have due process for these punks. Y U c so many smart mouth kids sassing back. Spare the rod spoil a punk.!! A goo old fashion , whopping should be in order.
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4-19-2010 @ 8:38PM
Glenn Posner said...Most yute need to be periodically slapped silly..sometimes for no reason other than to be sure they are paying attention.
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4-19-2010 @ 8:42PM
John said...I have a problem with this zero tolerance of bullying right now. Before anyone starts I was bullied at school M-F for 3 years. In fact in 9th grade I didnt go to school on Mondays for 6 weeks. BUT for this level of sensitivity now is over doing it. Overdoing by what and how they define bullying and we have raised a generation of kids who cannot handle any stress or any conflict at all.
Kids pick on other kids it happens to everyone to some degree its part of being able to function and deal with a world that is not rainbows and lollipops. Laugh along with it and grow a thick skin. If a little teasing cannot be tolerated now how are they going to handle a job with related stress and bosses breathing down their neck? Dealing with other employees who aren't going to like them? We need to teach our kids what bullying is and it has to be more than some mean girls calling you names, or spreading rumors. When it gets physical then stand up and complain. Suzy sticking her tongue out at you or calling you an "idiot" or "fat" (which you may be) should not qualify.
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4-19-2010 @ 9:08PM
jb said...So basically you are advocating for bullies and justifying their actions -- sorry I totally disagree --
4-19-2010 @ 10:16PM
deflaur said...I wrote another comment about how ridiculous that mother is and how she is not teaching her child personal responsibility. I still stand by that, but I have to agree with you somewhat. This is huge in the media right now because of that suicide, but people have to realize that the girl who killed herself, probably wasn't being parently correctly either or she would have had some self-esteem regardless. There has to be some happy medium, maybe the list could only include those who have gotten physical. Being accepted for who you are can go too far too, America has been on this big is beautiful campaign for like 30 years now and look at us. I was made fun of for being fat in school and I still am. I want to be treated like everyone else, but I want to better myself not be told it's okay.
4-19-2010 @ 8:41PM
Jacqueline said...It seems to me there should be a better way than to make up a 'list'. What is the standard for bullying and what about those being 'labeled' a bully, perhaps not really deserving it.
This problem is out of control because parents are not parenting. With our high divorce rate/single parent homes/working Moms/latch key kids/sex,drugs, money worshipping culture, what do you expect? We are just now reaping what we have sown over the past forty to fifty years.
Schools are not a free babysitting service, nor are they equipped to 'raise' anyone's child. They are their to compliment the parenting process, not be a substitute for it.
Parents, you need to KNOW who your child is, not who you wish them to be. You can only know them by raising them yourselves from the moment of their birth until they become responsible adults.
Bullying is a moral issue, not an educational one. Once there was a list, the best thing to do would have been to notify the parents and inform them that their child participated in bullying and then provide them with information on how to improve their parenting skills and raise children with a higher moral standard.
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4-19-2010 @ 8:41PM
Dave Tuck said...A little dramatic, but you got my vote for superintendent!
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4-19-2010 @ 9:28PM
Debbie said...This has to be THE major problem with our country as a whole. Little bastards that do whatever the crap they want. That's why charter schools and homeschools will have the nice, mature, productive students and the public schools will be full of the worthless, useless, garbage of our country. Because they LET it happen. Those useless spawns come from useless, garbage parents. Until it STOPS our country is DOOMED to miserable FAILURE. Save the good kids, lock up the rest! That's where they are heading anyway.
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4-19-2010 @ 11:41PM
Crys said...It's those rich lil bastards that go to Charter schools and that are home schooled that end up at public schools because they think they can get away w/everything.Then they make the bully list end up pregnant and on crack, What I'm trying to say is every school or home has it's problem child.
4-19-2010 @ 8:42PM
juli said...The parents would be better off working on this problem of kids not knowing any proper grammar , punctuation , spelling. They dont know when one sentence ends and another sentence starts.
The atrocious way these kids write, is NOT going to serve them well, or fly in the working world.
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4-19-2010 @ 8:42PM
okrealok said...no matter the color push a tissue in back or push in bare then hold it up to your nose, you will understand how this story always goes, and regardless of the color you will smell what checks all of our egos, and why we all need to keep self respect and quit pretending we are all that or better than the other, since no one can hold back a hot fart attack meant to escape your intestinal track from within from that deep stanking dook or poop stacked and if it's loose oops yes you've just had a stanking accident mr and ms always so perfect, now a hot mess? you understood this message, humility is how you achieve
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4-19-2010 @ 8:50PM
Alexandra said...This mother is truly an IDIOT !! She hasn't a clue, how to raise a child. A child has to be taught respect for others, something this bully has never learned. As far as her being "upset", because her child is on the list, obviously he BELONGS on the list. The child admits to being a "bully" , so grow up "mom" !
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4-19-2010 @ 8:51PM
dave paki said...i love how parents of bullies always act like their kids are perfect angels who dont do anything this kid deserves whatever punishment the school gives him. He was probably one of the kids bullying the girl they said commited suicide after being bullied. Im sure that this boys mom was probably a bully too judging by what i saw in the video
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4-19-2010 @ 8:50PM
HOW U DOIN' said...time have changed, this is 1975....kids can be mean...parents need to be parent, not friend....if the parent feels they need a friend, get someone their own age !!!!!!!!! teachers and schools should not be responsible for the behavior of a student, that's where parenting comes in handy.....kids learn from t.v. , movies and the adults who they live with about life......i will have many friends in life but i will only have 1 mom and 1 dad....................
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4-19-2010 @ 8:50PM
KK said...And the mother wants the teacher punished??? Good grief! Why does't she step up to the plate and APOLOGIZE for raising a little terrorist?
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4-22-2010 @ 6:59PM
j said...80 miles East of Boston? I don't think any of this happened, because it is in the middle of the ocean!
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