'Bully List' Irks Parent When Her Son Makes the Top 6

by Tom Henderson (Subscribe to Tom Henderson's posts)
Apr 19th 2010 4:00PM

Teachers at Wire Village School in Spencer, Mass., asked students to make a list of the school's biggest bullies.

Danielle Gebo complained when Tom, her 11-year-old son, was suspended from recess for not only making the list, but ranking in the top six.

And now Ralph Hicks, superintendent of the Spencer-East Brookfield Regional School District, located about 80 miles east of Boston, is feeling picked on.

After Gebo complained, Hicks did some checking. He found out school administrators violated Goss vs. Lopez, a 1975 U.S. Supreme Court ruling that found public school districts must conduct hearings before students are suspended.
It's a matter of due process under the 14th Amendment.

"I had no choice but to stop the punishment," Hicks tells ParentDish.

That was that. Or so he thought.

Hicks tells ParentDish he thought Gebo left his office early last week satisfied that justice was served. Then came the calls from CNN, Fox News and other news agencies.

Hicks says he doesn't quite understand the furor.

"I characterize this as a tempest in a teapot," he says.

Contrary to reports on Fox News, he adds, none of the other parents of the alleged bullies complained, the superintendent tells ParentDish.

Hicks says Wire Village School Principal Linda Crewe and her staff were concerned about bullying after news reports that 15-year-old Phoebe Prince committed suicide in January in nearby South Hadley, Mass., after being hounded by bullies.

"I certainly supported the principal's intent," Hicks tells ParentDish. Nonetheless, he adds, students' due process rights cannot be ignored.

Hicks says he finds the media storm over the death of Prince a bit troubling. He remembers when 11-year-old Carl Walker-Hoover of Springfield, Mass., hanged himself last April after allegedly enduring daily anti-gay bullying.

Walker-Hoover's death didn't get nearly as much press, Hicks says. He suspects there's a reason. Walker-Hoover was black. Prince was white.

"Even with Barack Obama as president, there's still racism in this country," Hicks says. "I am glad the issue of bullying is being addressed, but there's still an imbalance here."

The situation in his school district is ironic, Hicks tells ParentDish. In the past, he says, parents have accused him of being soft on bullying. He denies that, saying he hates bullies. And his reasons are somewhat personal.

"I was 5 feet tall and weighed 100 pounds when I graduated from high school," the 64-year-old superintendent says. "I know all about bullies. Thank God I grew 5 inches before I started college in the fall."

Tom Gebo was suspended from recess as a result of ranking so high on the bully list. He admits to the Worcester Telegram & Gazette that he has indeed bullied other kids at the school (which serves fourth through sixth grades).

He even put his own name on the list.

"I had picked on a few kids, so I wrote that I bullied some kids and I signed my name," he tells the newspaper.

As a result, the Telegram & Gazette reports, a counselor met with the boy to go over strategies he can use when he's being bullied or when he feels like picking on someone else. The counselor also allegedly told him he doesn't need to share everything that happens at school with his mother.

"Parents should be poking and prodding their kids about what goes on at school," Danielle Gebo tells the newspaper. "We trust these school officials with our kids for six hours a day."

School district committee chairman Peter Rock tells the Telegram & Gazette creating the bully list was an over-reaction.

"Given what happened in South Hadley, I think people are being very cautious and sensitive," he says. "Unfortunately, sometimes people act in haste and make mistakes."

And yet Tom Gebo might have learned a lesson about bullying through all this.

"I know how it feels now," he tells CNN. "I think bullying is a bad thing and being bulled is an even badder thing."

Related: When Your Child Is the Bully

ReaderComments (Page 6 of 20)

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4-19-2010 @ 8:55PM

Jilliebeane said...

There's a mix of right and wrong here. The child admits he bullied others and should receive some form of punishment, or counseling. A valuable lesson can actually be learned when you feel the same pain as those you have bullied. Unfortunately, this leaves the door wide open for false accusations. I hope that the punishment was not based purely on the accusations...I hope they did more than just take the other kid's words as gospel and investigated some. As for the mother in this video, she's in denial...maybe that's why her son felt it was ok to do what he did. Parents need to wake up and BELIEVE their kids are capable of behaving this way and teach them that it is wrong. This principal doesn't need to be fired, they need to be applauded for trying to stop this very common and sad issue in our society. I bet the mom would be singing a vastly different tune if it were her child that had actually been bullied by another student.

4-19-2010 @ 8:57PM

Crystal said...

i dont get how the schools getting in trouble for this his mom should be happy they took him aside n put him on a list lettin him know what he was doin was wrong maybe later he would have been takin off that list why should he be able to go out with the other kids if all hes goin to do is bully them now he will learn from his mistakes n never bully again

4-19-2010 @ 9:03PM

Debbie said...

How about this. If the bully can't behave, make the parent come to school to PARENT them. This is not school problem, It's a PARENT and CHILD PROBLEM! Let's just lock they BOTH up.

4-19-2010 @ 9:04PM

Martesa said...

His mom should be more concerned with the fact that he rated so high on the bully list, and spend her energies on addressing that, rather than calling the news networks! She was right to bring it to the att'n of the superintendent -- there needs to be due process for all the kids. The superintendent addressed the situation with the principal, so calling the news outlets was overkill. Bottomline, the kid's a bully, apparently a big blly, and she should deal with that. This is one of the big problems with kids today -- parents don't parent. Assume some responsibility for your kids, don't try and make excuses or get them off the hook when the punishment is earned. To this boy's credit, and apparently no thanks to his mom, he seems to have learned a lesson.

4-19-2010 @ 8:59PM

Mike said...

when i went too school you got in trouble you was taken to \the
superintendents office got yout butt bussed ,and when yoy got
you got your butt bussed again.but back then kids had respect.
but today if you correci kids it;s child abuss.

4-19-2010 @ 9:01PM

Babs said...

OK so I guess the "bully" does not like to be called a bully. His Mom is the typical Mom of a bully. "Deny til ya die"!! But it looks like her son has learned a good lesson and he has seen the problems it caused.The teacher was not so wrong after all. Now if we can only get the Mom to butt out and allow the child to get over it and re connect with his friends.

raellen said...

he deserved his punishment....the Mom wants her 15 mins. of fame...

4-19-2010 @ 9:05PM

terrie said...

Every school should have a bullies list then they could put all the bullies in one class have every class in there all day long make them even eat there to then all the bullies can pick on all the bullies!

4-19-2010 @ 9:24PM

Marvin said...

Give this teacher a pay raise and let her/him do their jobs. It is time to take back the public schools. This despectful act by kids is one of the reasons so many Whites put their children in private schools.. Now you folks that don't agree with me can give me hell, I don't mind, everuthing that I have said is the truth. As long as the monkeys are running the zoo, every one will act like primates.GOD BLESS AMERCIA.

nc said...

i dislike the idea that the 11 year old's death wasnt as highly covered because he was black, it was most likely because he was gay.

But yeah, bullying is a seriously shitty thing, and it's good that the school is actually doing something about it beyond putting up posters on how you should treat people. Kids dont listen to that, you need to catch them and punish them, and show them that they cant get away with that just because they might have deep seeded issues.

4-19-2010 @ 9:09PM

Sam said...

The mother is a sad case. She needs to be fired from motherhood.

4-19-2010 @ 9:08PM

Steve said...

This parallels adulthood. When I was a kid, every cop kept a list of kid's names if they messed up. If they did something worse, the list was the reference for the cop. Most kids get bullied in school. I sure did. Bullies should be outed and they should be counseled. In many ways, the school would be protecting the bully and his or her family from a life of crime and lawsuits. The mother should be referred to CPS, because she is putting her own child in harm's way.

4-19-2010 @ 11:01PM

sherry said...

The mother is the biggest bully!! She does not care about her son or the ones who were hurt by his actions. Nasty lady to want people fired for trying to help the victims.

4-19-2010 @ 9:12PM

Gabriella said...

This sort of thing really pisses me off! The mother has a lot of nerve being upset about what is going on with her son...did she care when her son was tormenting the other kids??? Most likely not, and thats because there are parents in this world that get a rush out of knowing that their kids are amongst 'the tough ones' in school. Maybe if respect was taught properly in the home, she wouldn't be on nationwide television 'outraged' that her so called bullying son (that the studentbody themselves labeled him) is being harassed! Hey mom, maybe the whole situation should be making you think about what kind of boy your raising!
There is too much power being given to the youth of America. The bad behavior has become a plague! And its parents, like this woman, that make it worse.
oh, and lets not forget that having recess taken away because you don't know how to conduct yourself in the company of others is far better than having to visit him in JAIL!!! It's called CONSEQUENCES! how else do you want him to learn his lesson if you're not teaching him!

4-19-2010 @ 9:14PM

Donna said...

His mom is part of the problem...he is being punished for bullying, that is called discipline. She should try it on him, maybe he wouldn't be in this situation. She is wrong to say she wants to principal fired...had she as the parent done her job, disciplining her child, it would not have come to this.

Ridiculous story, but it proves what the problem is in America these days, schools are limited to what they can do, and some parents just aren't doing enough.

4-20-2010 @ 1:17AM

Sandy Simpson said...

julia 4-19-2010 @ 8:34PM
no it dosent. if u got bullied u should have done something about it. dont just cry about it. the punishment and the list was stupid and should not have been conducted

Julia, you should know that some children have done something about it....they took their own lives. Bullying should be totally unacceptable. I would have to assume that you don't take any responsibility for your actions and if you have children you must teach them the same. Children need to be punished especially when they don't get it at home. i hope your not the first person to complain when these students go into a school and shoot other students because that is also another way kids deal with this kind of stuff. I pray you have a change of heart for others.

4-19-2010 @ 9:39PM

jmacdow said...

It is precisely the mother's attitude that feeds the bully culture. Instead of defending her precious lamb, she needs to realize that he did something wrong and that he needs to have a consequence for that action.

4-19-2010 @ 9:19PM

Patti said...

One method to handle bullies is to take their power away. If many children create the list then the list must be fairly accurrate, especially #6. The list takes the power away from the bully, gives it to the student body, and sends the message that bullying will not be tolerated by the school. I believe the list should be created and then used to help prevent bullying. Perhaps counseling to begin with and keeping a close watch on the "top listed" bullies and wait...believe me, many will continue with this behavior...then punishment should be issued.

4-19-2010 @ 9:16PM

reggie said...

I took the time to read the above school district's mission statement on their website and copied it here...

"District Mission
Create a positive learning community of empowered learners in an environment of mutual respect and responsibility. Students will be inspired and challenged to learn, grow, communicate, and accomplish academic, intellectual, social, and citizenship goals in an ever changing global society."

The staff at the school were following the district's mission. "Suspending" a child from recess isn't an out of school suspension. Frankly, I fail to see how this type of consequence relates to "Goss vs. Lopez" because it didn't cause the bully in question to lose his rights to his education, only his free time. It probably didn't go on his permanent record. Most likely at the time he was missing recess, he was inside with staff discussing and learning from his consequence and getting positive attention and healthy conversations, something he probably lacks at home.
Through this creative lesson the staff was encouraging an environment of mutual respect...just as the mission states.
I hope the superintendent didn't get intimidated by the mom bully and sell the staff at the school out since it doesn't seem that keeping a kid inside from recess qualifies as equal to suspending a child from school. Instead, I hope he is inspired by these comments and supportive (for the most part) feedback this story is getting, and that he, or the district's lawyers, have the guts to tell the mom that she is wrong and she needs to let her kid get some help so that he may have empathy for others.

4-19-2010 @ 9:28PM

bill said...

Spank him and be done with it

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