Hot on HuffPost Parents:
WATCH: 12-Year-Old Piano Prodigy Uses His Music As Medicine
Breaking The Paternity Leave Barrier: The Rest Of The Story
Talk to Your Tweens - Survey Shows They Want to Listen
Filed under: In The News, Social & Emotional Growth: Tweens, Research Reveals: Tweens, Expert Advice: Tweens, Social & Emotional Growth: Teens, Research Reveals: Teens, Expert Advice: Teens
It may not come as a big surprise that tweens tend to sweat the small stuff -- and the bigger stuff, too. But here's the good news: The majority of them want to talk to their folks about the things that are stressing them out.
Unilever -- the manufacturer of deoderants including Degree, Dove and Suave (stress generally does equal sweat, after all) -- recently released findings from the Tween Confidence Index, a study conducted by KRC Research, that reached out to more than 1,200 moms and tweens between the ages of 8 and 12. Researchers found 69 percent of tweens called talks with their parents "very helpful" and they noted a measurable relationship between a tween's confidence levels and the value they placed on these parental talks.
The Index shows just how critical parent communication is to help tweens transition into competent, confident teenagers, says Rosalind Wiseman, author of "Queen Bees and Wannabes," the inspiration for the movie "Mean Girls."
"I meet so many parents who think their kids aren't listening to them -- it's almost like they've given up to peer pressure," Wiseman tells ParentDish. "But that's really not the case. Kids are desperate for their parents to give them good information, but at the same time really listen to their experiences."
And most parents, the survey found, seem to get that fact that life isn't always easy for kids. Three in four moms (77 percent) feel there are more challenges for tweens growing up today than when they were that age, such as: being overly exposed to sex and violence (86 percent), facing more pressure to grow up faster (75 percent), not doing well in school (60 percent), being challenged to eat healthy (55 percent) or not safely using the Internet (55 percent).
So what stresses tweens out the most? Hearing rumors about themselves or friends is a biggie (68 percent), followed by getting good grades (61 percent), dealing with hard teachers (68 percent) and their first kiss (51 percent). Some things never change.
For more info on helping boost a tween's confidence, check out DontFretTheSweat.com, an educational site from Unilever and community partners, that offers expert tips, tools, money-saving offers and real-life stories about how parents are communicating with their tweens.
Related: National Tween Convention Focuses on Positive Body Image
Your<span>Voice</span>
Ask Us Anything About Parenting
Recently Asked
- Justin Bieber - Baby ft. Ludacris by JustinBieberVEVO 3 years ago 859,231,811 views
- Do people ever get a civil trial this is too many dismissals with out a response from defendants
- patent or not civil case the inventor will never lose because the people approved and he makes the rules. it did not exist
TheTalkies:RelatedVideos
-
Experts Calling on FDA to Restrict Tween Tanning
Indoor tanning is extremely common, but the laws that regulate the industry vary widely by state -- with some allowing children as young as 10 to tan without parental consent.
-
How to Deal with Tweens
AdviceMama, columnist Susan Stiffelman answers questions about tweens who think they have the meanest parents in the world.
-
How to Deal with a Tween That Talks Back
Advice Mama, columnist Susan Stiffelman answers questions on how to deal with your tween when she starts to answer back.
-
Back-to-School Trends for Twins
Tweens can study in style with some back-to-school tips from Winners fashion expert Sarah Smithers, who says a preppy look is in for both boys and girls.
SitesWeLove
- Site Map
- |
- Staff
- |
- Terms of Service
- |
- Privacy Policy
- |
- Trademarks
- |
- Advertise With Us
- |
- About Our Ads
- |
- AOL Downloads
- |
- Contact Us
- |
© Copyright 2012 AOL Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Aol Family
ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
4-21-2010 @ 8:28AM
Kimberly said...I love this article! I have two teenagers, ages 13 and 15 (yikes!) and I agree, they are listening... the problem is that they don't always respond- so I'm left wondering if they heard a word I've said!
I know I've mentioned in past posts the solution I've found to this issue which ultimately led to creating a business so that I could offer the solution to (countless!) others... we journal together in our QC Journal Kits! Teenagers will "listen" to what you have written AND you will get the response you are looking for. Not 100% of the time, but when there is something that's really stressing them out, they'll write to you. Now they have a lot of the stress out of their system simply by writing the feelings down, you know what's going on AND there is this little "bonding" thing that takes place because they've let you into their VERY private teenaged world.
My heart goes out to teenagers- I remember it being a very difficult time for me with lots of peer pressure back in the 90's but it really does seem much harder for our teens now. Some of the things my teens share with me are astounding...
I have a website with lots of info on journaling with a partner if anyone is interested and I'm always happy to chat about it too!
qcjournals.com hope this helps! Kim
Reply
4-26-2010 @ 9:35AM
Jeannie said...I am so frustrated with my teen.....Jen is going on 17-years-old and what an attitude she has on her lately. Seems like all we to is argue and don't agree on anything.
Help.....I also have three other children one who is 13-yearsold and my third child is 12-years-old....my youngest is 8-years-old.
Just am so emtionally exausted I am a good parent but everything I try with my kids seems to go haywire.
I have read articles on IVillage.com and have even tried counceling with my two oldest children but this was not a good seen seemed like it benefited me more then it did them.
I will be checking out your website! I love my kids truly and just want to steer my kids in the right direction in their lives.
4-26-2010 @ 1:58PM
Kimberly said...Hi Jeannie,
It sure does sound like you have your hands full these days! I can fully understand that feeling of emotional exhaustion. It's much of the reason I began my Quiet Conversations experiment to begin with! I was feeling so overwhelmed and guilty because my "mom skills" sometimes just went right down the tubes.
I saw almost right away that some great changes were taking place through journaling with my kids- first, just the act of writing down my own feelings made me feel better, second- they were actually LISTENING to me so much better when I expressed myself with care and compassion rather than shouting (go figure!) and third, our relationships began to blossom because we were actually re-connecting with each other in a whole new way. I also stopped going to bed at night feeling like a failure in the Mom department which was REALLY big!
All four of your kids are at great ages to start QC Journal Kits with, the younger ones will find the kit to be a lot of fun and you will have an established resource for them to turn to as they grow older- thus avoiding the point your 17 yr. old is currently at.
She might be a little more challenging to get involved, but share with her that I'm offering a free "Introductory to Quiet Conversations" tele-cast that you both can listen in on, it is meant to inspire those who might have a little resistance to journaling with a partner. Just go to my website to register (qcjournals.com).
I have so enjoyed being able to share QC Journal Kits with many families and to be part of the transformation that takes place through them. I'm glad you found this blog and I hope I've been able to help you feel better! Just know that you are not in this alone.
Kim
Reply