Is It Wrong to Make Your Kid Hug a Relative?

Lets put it this way...NEVER ask your children to do something YOU would NOT do. If you WOULD'NT hug your stinky, smelly uncle, do NOT expect your kid too. Get it. Got it. Good.

I agree with Casey and the writer of this article. Children should not be forced or "guilted" into hugging and kissing their relatives. A better approach would be for Gramma to ask for permission for a hug or kiss..."would it be OK if I gave you a hug?" If the child recoils, then say "OK, maybe some other time" and just move on with the conversation. Don't make a big deal out of it because children should not feel guilty if hugging and kissing makes them uncomfortable for the sake of hurting their Gramma's feelings.

Casey, I totally agree with you. At this point, I am the grandma and I don't expect my grandchildren to hug and kiss me if they don't want to. I give them time to come to me if they wish....and it usually works out just fine. The younger ones are the most reticent. I think that is natural especially if I haven't seen them in a while. From three on up, I am generally greeted with enthusiasm.

I would never force my children to do hug or love on someone that I myself wouldn't hug on. However, I know my children and when we go to family functions and they see their cousins my children will forget to acknowledge there aunts, uncles, grandparents. I will tell them to slow down for just a brief moment and show the love that I know they have for these people. Sometimes it's not that the child is forced to hug on someone as it is a reminder that the child neglected to take the time to show the love. Besides, being a mother I would never have a relative that gave me the "Creep" factor around my kids.

I always ask a child if I can have a hug and let it go if they don't want to. If a child loves and wants to hug you I have found you don't have to ask at all.

I agree. I have three nephews & one neice, sometimes they are just not in the mood to give a hug or kiss. I do not force the issue with them & let them come to me if they want too. Other times I can't get them off me. I think it is best for the child to make the decesion.

This and many of the similar comments directly show why children are out of control and the erosion of parental respect by childen. This new politcly correct way to rise our kids are turning them into ungrateful little basterard that want to show out in public when ever their told no, leading them to believe that they are privlaged, and in the end your just breeding to bully.

I feel as though it should always be a case of sexual predators. Lets face it people are sick in the head nowadays , and you always have to be on your p's and q's, because most sexual abuse occurs within the family. It is usually someone your child knows. I will tell my daughter to yell and scream and kick bite and anything else to get someone who she does not want touching her off of her, becuase I was molested by my own father so if she doesnt even want me to touch her I will respect her wishes. I believe because my MOTHER taught me no one should touch me in certain places I was able to kick and scream and Tell my mother what was wrong, because although he was my dad I still felt safe enough to tell her.

drth vadr, your comment is idiotic. Do you have 3-year-old children? My children are not out of control. They are exceptionally well-behaved by any measure. They don't like Uncle A to hug and kiss and poke and tickle them, and frankly I don't have a problem with that. I used to have a step-grandpa like that and he creeped me out every time, even when I was in middle school (though by then I learned to silently tolerate it until I could get away). If Uncle A had half a brain or any experience with kids, he would back off and let the kids come to him, and they probably would. His lack of courtesy toward them is worse than my 3-year-olds' lack of smoothness in declining his advances, so why should I favor his wishes over theirs (and mine)?

I would never try to touch someone else's child against his/her will. That's not the way to build a relationship, at least not in the culture I was brought up in. My parents also have enough sense to check a child's readiness for a physical show of affection. It's usually strangers and people from other cultures that I've noticed having no sense in this regard.

And believe me, if someone with your attitude came along and tried to maul my kids, I would stand between you and them. We don't need close contact with negativity, thank you.

Most pedophiles prey on children who are close to them. When you force a kid to hug someone close to them, you might be forcing them into contact with a pedo.

I agree this old world is getting to dam cold. No one cares about any one any more. It's ashame