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Opinion: Bacon Should Have No Bearing on Becoming a Foster Parent
Filed under: Adoption, Gay Parenting, Opinions
When it comes to foster parenting and adoption, agencies should focus on the applicants' ability to care for a child -- not their religion or sexual orientation. And certainly not whether or not they eat bacon.
Baltimore's Tashima Crudup, a practicing Muslim, was recently told by a private screening agency she was unfit to be a foster parent because she didn't allow pork in her home. The company, Contemporary Family Services of Baltimore, tells local station WJZ it wasn't the absence of pork per se, but her "inflexibility" on the issue.
According to The Baltimore Sun, Crudup contacted the ACLU, saying her application was denied based solely on her religious beliefs. Since most of us generally acknowledge that not serving pork chops to a child does not constitute abusive behavior, she is probably correct. (FYI, a representative for the Maryland Department of Human Resources tells The Sun that if Contemporary Family Services' decision about Crudup was based on her choice of food, then denying her application would be a violation of state law.)
If the decision was based on religion, that's a shame. Many states, including Maryland, have a shortage of foster parents. Placing a child with a good foster family can mean getting that child out of a terrible situation. Though temporary, foster care placements sometimes lead to adoptions, or even children being reunited with their families.
In The Sun, an ACLU attorney wonders if Contemporary Family Services "denies every vegetarian or Orthodox Jewish person a foster care license." I don't know about that, but there have been many reported cases of people being told they could not be foster parents for reasons seemingly unrelated to their parenting skills.
In England, there was the case of smokers being prohibited from becoming foster parents. This issue touches adoption as well -- the NRA had to go to court so that adoption agencies would be banned from asking parents about guns.
Sometimes it gets even more confusing. In many states, gay people are allowed to be foster parents, but can't adopt. In Arkansas, they can't do either. Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee recently stated that he supports his home state's ban on same-sex couples adopting or becoming foster parents because "we should act in the best interest of the children."
How is leaving children in orphanages or severely troubled homes acting in their best interests? The arguments about "traditional families" being better for children have no basis in fact. "Lesbian and Gay Parents and Their Children: Research on the Family Life Cycle," a book that came out last year, shows that gay parents do not warp their kids.
But much like the spanking studies that suggest smacking your child's behind may not be the best form of discipline, no amount of research can convince someone who has already made up his or her mind. Huckabee and those who agree with him have made their decisions. They can say they are only interested in "protecting children," but in practice, the exact opposite is true.
Laws that restrict gay families from adopting or becoming foster parents are just as discriminatory as an agency that tells a woman she can't be a foster parent because she won't serve BLTs for lunch.
Whether or not someone belongs to the NRA, is a Muslim, is gay or is even a gay, Muslim NRA member -- has anything to do with one's ability to be a good parent. People who say otherwise are kidding themselves. Instead of focusing on ideological agendas, agencies and politicians should do everything in their power to ensure that foster children are placed in safe homes, and that families who want to adopt are prepared for the challenges that lie ahead.
Related: Opinion: Adoptive Mother Should Be Sent to the Gulag
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 3)
4-21-2010 @ 2:06PM
LS said..."Instead of focusing on ideological agendas, agencies and politicians should do everything in their power to ensure that foster children are placed in safe homes, and that families who want to adopt are prepared for the challenges that lie ahead."
Oh, you're a funny one, Brett. What you are saying is that a Governmental Agency should put aside politics, use common sense, and place the needs of the child over the 'issue of the day' and Political Correctness. Sad to say, that will never happen. This is the government we're talking about, here.
Reply
4-22-2010 @ 10:13PM
ashleigh said...I think they should be more honest--the truth is, this "practicing Muslim" is shacking up with some guy, and I think Foster programs have a huge responsibility to not place children in a home that could be unstable... I know several devout Muslims, and they say that living together is NOT okay with their religion at all, and wonder about the stability of this couple... THAT issue is probably the real reason that they didn't place kids with her, not the bacon story...
4-23-2010 @ 1:32AM
Ben said...A foster parent must meet certain conditions. Being a person married to someone of the opposite sex is one example. No gays. This PC world has made almost everyone afraid to say or do the right thing. Polls say that almost everyone in this country believes in God or Christ, yet it's not OK to say so and be damned if you say Islam is a training camp for terrorist. I am an old man and I want the United States of America back, the way it was intended.
4-23-2010 @ 12:43AM
a1116571 said...I find myself siding with government in this instance. I feel that a child being placed in foster care is there on a temporary basis only and that it is not up to the foster parent/parents to push their beliefs or practices upon a child that is not theirs and most likely never will be. It is common practice to try to place children with those that can give them some grasp of their heritage (be they black, white, christian, Muslim, etc.). If this was a person who truly cared about children, she (and any others) like her would put their personal feelings and beliefs aside and do what it takes to care properly for these children without trying to change them.
4-23-2010 @ 5:17PM
Simzee said...Now you know why people DO NOt adopt or care for American children. No one in America can care for a child because they do everything wrong.
4-21-2010 @ 9:52PM
Alyssa said...There is so many things wrong with that foster organization. Just because a family doesn't serve pork products in their house does not make them bad parents. Same with same-sex partners. These are loving, kind people who want to unselfishly open their homes to an abused or neglected child. These people are heros. Being religious or gay should be no reason to prevent a child from being placed in a loving house.
Reply
4-22-2010 @ 9:48PM
Dorothy Bock said...I agree. Coming from Florida I was raised eating seafood. When I married a West Virginian and moved there I was astonished at how many people there refused to eat seafood. Should we ban those people from fostering because they wouldn't serve seafood or any other type of specific food. Give this future foster mom a break and look at her ability to raise a child, not refuse her from fostering because of a certain kind of food. By the way I won't eat celery or okra and I don't want it in my house. Does that disqualify me?
4-21-2010 @ 11:01PM
Barbara said...I used to work for a foster care agency, and feel there's a good chance that this agency has been misunderstood. When a child is in foster care, it means that the state has taken responsibility for that child. Included in this responsibility is the obligation to respect the child's individual rights, including freedom of religion. So, one of the many challenges in foster care is to place children in good homes where both the family and the child are free to express their religious preferences. Exacerbating this issue is the fact that, many times, the biological family is still involved and has its own set of religious beliefs which may clash with those of the foster family.
In the case of the woman and the pork chops, it looks like the agency was trying to do the right thing but handling it very badly. I'd just ask you responders to take a step back and consider that you don't know all the details. I get so frustrated when people point fingers at those who are genuinely trying to do good in the world. Finally, I'd like to add that if you really are upset about the policies of foster care agencies, get involved yourself. Maybe you could become a mentor to a foster child -- I know they could sure use the love and support.
Reply
4-22-2010 @ 9:21PM
RWM said...Barbara, if you listen carefully you might hear a great cheer echoing out of Montana. I was very much an unwanted child; not loved, just tolerated. It certainly did effect me until I came to the age of reason. It would have been a saving grace had I been placed in a foster home where I would feel welcome. It wouldn't have matter if I was denied pork for dinner or been asked with kindess to follow the rules of that household. I am quite confident I would have emerged the same person I am today - I was an egg waiting to hatch, so to speak, and upon hatching I would have chosen my own path.
Than God, Allah or Buddha or Peter Rabbit for folks who care enough to shelter and care for those who need it. And than YOU for your wise words.
4-22-2010 @ 8:47PM
dusty8885 said...to believe in something like no pork (screw religious reasons) is ludicrous, your going to die anyway,at ANYTIME and no matter what you eat does not make a damn difference.Imagine no religion,no idiot llaws
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4-22-2010 @ 10:41PM
kevinzpl said...You, sir, are an ass. Matters of faith may seem absurd to someone who does not share that faith, but that is not a reason to harrangue the person who remains true to her faith. Muslims and many Jews wil not eat pork. During Lent, many Christians will not eat red meat, chicken, or pork on Fridays. These are just ways of recognizing, honoring, and being true to their beliefs. Christian, Jew, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, whatever - we need more of it.
4-22-2010 @ 8:48PM
Yroarrah said...Not all orphanages should get a bum rap either. My father spent a large amount of time in an orphanage as a child- because his single mother couldn't afford to feed him. As an adult he has often stated he preferred being in the orphanage to being at home. He got fed adequately, got a good education, was a boy scout, and still has fond memories of being with a lot of other boys to play baseball, etc. I know another young man who is now 21, and given the choice he always preferred the orphanage to foster care- he said the possibilities for abuse were pretty much endless in a foster home. And I know another young man who is not quite 18 yet, who wishes he could go back to the county home rather than endure his alcoholic mother's tirades while trying to protect and care for his younger sister. Where I live we support and volunteer at an orphanage- our office even does fundraisers to ensure these kids get their own toys, clothing, and especially their own rolling suitcases (because when they are fostered out they otherwise have to carry their few belonings in a plastic bag and are embarrassed). No, it's not ideal, adoption into a loving home is, but for older children it doesn't happen nearly enough. Support your local orphanage/county home.
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4-22-2010 @ 9:05PM
MTM said...Religion should be a factor. Placing christians with muslims or vice a versa would create more problems then they would help.
Reply
4-25-2010 @ 7:50PM
d said...children should not be given to sexually perverted homosexual people. What are you insane????? If they are raped it would be your fault. Children should not be adopted by homosexuals because of the dysfunctional role model it gives to a child already challenged with overcoming dysfunction. Jesus calls them perverts.
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5-14-2010 @ 10:56AM
Christina said...I agree, to the first part. Children should be placed with positive role models. I agree that there is dyfunctional element which causes people to believe that they are gay, but it is the state which is dyfunctional for allowing gay couple to foster children. I also believe that it is wrong for them to allowing foster parents to repeatedly abuse, rape,drug etc foster children once it has been reported and proven.
The part I disagree is Jesus did not call anyone names especially using the word perverts. I believe one has to keep the facts straight especially documened fact.
4-22-2010 @ 9:24PM
d said...children should not be given to sexually perverted homosexual people. What are you insane????? If they are raped it would be your fault. Children should not be adopted by homosexuals because of the dysfunctional role model it gives to a child already challenged with overcoming dysfunction. Jesus calls them perverts.
Reply
4-23-2010 @ 11:14PM
lisa said...Jesus calls you a sinner then for judging others. pretty sure that's his job not yours.
4-22-2010 @ 10:04PM
Andrea Flores said...Excuse me but Jesus called no one a "pervert"! Jesus calls us to love all people no matter what! I don't believe that being a homosexual inhibits your ability to be a loving parent. If they want to adopt a child thats in need of love and support they should be able to do so. Also, homosexuals are not the only ones who rape! There are bad people in every race, religion and sexual orientation.
4-22-2010 @ 10:20PM
falkowskic said...To d: no, people who suggest giving care of children to homosexuals are not crazy. But you are small-minded, zealous, and badly misinformed. It is extremely rare for a homosexual to be a child abuser. Most of those are heterosexual males who are married and often have children of their own whom they may or may not molest. Homosexuality is not perversion, it is God's choice because these individuals do not chose their sexuality. In fact, they have differences in both brain structure and neurotransmitters. They know they are different as young as three or four years old.
Recent research has shown that children raised by lesbians and gays are no more likely to grow up to be homosexual than those raised by straight parents. Not to allow these people to raise children is denying these kids of healthy homes and dumping them into a foster system where they are likely to be abused by their "straight" foster parents.
Finally, I wish you would cite the book and verse where Jesus calls homosexuals "perverts" especially since such a quote does not exist. If you are going to cite a book as evidence, it would be a good idea to read it first.
4-22-2010 @ 11:03PM
elniko7 said...children should not be given to sexually perverted homosexual people. What are you insane????? If they are raped it would be your fault. Children should not be adopted by homosexuals because of the dysfunctional role model it gives to a child already challenged with overcoming dysfunction. Jesus calls them perverts.
Please be careful in what you say. You are right in saying that children should not be raised in homosexual households, this goes totally against science and nature. Saying that Jesus called homosexuals perverts is incorrect though. What Jesus preached was to acknowledge the sinner while loving the sinner. What this means is to work with those who turn away from humanity in getting them back, although ofcourse if one has no intention of living a good life, than no amount of work can help that person. Stay on the path that you're on, just more in the center than to either side where you're likely to wonder off path.