Should My Ex Have His Girlfriend Around Our Children?

Why not? Because kids have no brakes and can easily fall in love with someone who may be out of their lives (again) in just a few months. I gather you're not the product of a divorced home or you'd have a better understanding of just HOW devastating this is for the innocent bystanders known as children.

I agree with debi. It all depends on the age of your children. I also think that each situation is unique depending on your children's personalities and whether they tend to be more emotional, etc. I would say introducing a new love interest should be on a case-by-case basis. Ony YOU know your children well enough to decide whether or not they can handle it. I introduced my daughter to my (now) husband 2 months after my divorce - she was 12 yrs old at the time. She adjusted very well because he is great with kids. But you know, if I were to be dating, I would always introduce my daughter no matter what the situation is with my dates/boyfriend. Why not just explain up front that you're dating and these people they are meeting are friends that are in your life at this time? If you have toddler-age children, then I think you should probably wait until you know if it's serious or not.

HEY, LARRY, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? IS THE INTERNET AND IRS WEB SITES DESIGNED JUST FOR YOU? YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO QUESTION OTHERS' COMMENTS. THE FIRST AMENDMENT PROTECTS THEM JUST AS IT PROTECTS YOU. PERHAPS THEY WILL GET RID OF YOU, TOO, PAL.

I guess your anger got the best of you. Did it stop him from being with his girlfriend? Did it make him come back to you? You seem childish and bitter.

I posted this earlier:
I will say that if the divorce was a result of infidelity, the scorned parent tends to express bitter feelings. They also force their feelings and opinions on their children. Perhaps if the scorned parent would realize that it was the relation with their spouse that ended ,not the relationship with the children (separate your feelings from your kids) things would be allot easier for the children. Children love both their parents equally and their parents love them too. It should not be assumed, and children should not be forced to believe, that just because daddy left mommy he's a bad daddy and doesn't love them anymore.

No Milli, I was cheating on by my ex too. I was miserable and hurt but I didn't let it affect the reality. My ex is and always was a good, loving father. He wasn't happy with me but that's not the kids fault. They have the right to love their dad unconditionally just as he does them. Simply put: It was our problem not theirs. Read Renee's comment. I have to agree with her, if you couldn't have a happy marriage at least show them mature adults who can get along better separately. That's the best thing you can do. It's too late to go back for this woman this woman. He's already moved on and it's not going to change. At some point she will have to accept the situation as it is.

Don't listen to people who have not been in your specific situation.

My parents divorced when I was a toddler, and I remember things surrounding it better than I recall most things from when I was a child. A child has to have the first step solidified before moving to the next step, adults are not much different. My mother always had a man or men around - the type of men who would touch her arm or whom she'd touch on the back as they left a room, etc - before and more after my folks split. She effectively left me with a distorted view of relationships and of her. My very respectable father, on the other hand (who I very luckily ended up living with for the remainder of my childhood) waited around a year before dating a woman who two years later became his wife. I attribute my being cold to her and thinking she would eventually go away to the relationship examples I saw in my mother. She did not. She was and is an awesome person, and I will be spending the rest of my life trying to make up for the fact that I treated her like one of my mother's flakes who's name I didn't really know and didn't care to.

Every situation is different, don't think your kids don't have a fair idea of what's really going on though. Please don't ever for a second think that what you do will not affect the rest of your children's lives in some way.

At 32, I am still trying to remove learned behaviors and ideas from my life. Behaviors and ideas that stem from those times. Don't ever let your children hear adult things that they don't need to recall after your death. What may not bother them now (likely because they trust you do do right and teach them right) may hinder them farther on down the road.

Ahhhhhhh, Poor you. Maybe you need to be trying to work things out instead in divorcing. So easy huh. Just get divorced. No time to take the vows seriously. Now you're worried about kids and what they will see. they will see how the world is. A world with no real commitments because it's easier to get divorced than actually try.

Kim,
obviously you havent been with a REAL man so you are just blanketing a statement like "Men are wrong with the way they think things" which doesnt make sense to the average person. A real man would not be getting divorced in the first place. So why did your husband or father of your children cheat? Did you not give him enough to keep him around? The ignorance can go both ways Kim. If a guy doesnt respect you and his children enough not to cheat do you think they care whether bringing the whore areound to flaunt in front of the kids? So he can hurt more than he already has? Probably, because once again, you did not live up to your part. Did you cheat on him? Did you get real fat after you had the kids and didnt appeal to him anymore? Or are you just a constant nagging Beiotch who did not see that your man was getting fed up with your beiotch arse self? No, I dont know you but I can throw arguments at you all day like this, get over your last loser and find a real man to take care of you, just remember, treat a man like a piece of shite and he may just do the same when you least expect it.

Megan,
This child is 13 months old. If this relationship ends with the new boyfriend as quickly as her first relationship ended, chances are the child won't even remember it. I know myself, and lots of and lots of people can't even remember things from when I was 3 and 4 years old. Can you remember things from when you were 2 or 3? If the relationship lasts past that, then I think it's probably because she's happy now. Why is your brother really in jail? Police arrest innocent daddy's every day right?

You're right Milli. I am a cunt but I'm right. The truth may hurt but it's still the truth. Once a man or a woman are no longer in love and they are fighting, or just unhappy in general, is that good for the children? I see, mommy and daddy should stay together and be miserable, exposing their children to this as well, just for the kids sake. WOW.....and you don't think that will screw them up more?

You go Renee!! This is a WONDERFUL mom right here!! You should all listen to her.