My 9-Year-Old has a Sassy, Bad Attitude!

Preach-on :)

Reply

UNCLE DICK HAS THE PERFECT SOLUTION FOR SASSY KIDS. HE RECOMMENDS A GOOD SMACK IN THE MOUTH AND A WEEK' S RESTRICTION FOR THE FIRST OFFENSE. IT GETS WORSE FOR THE SECOND AND THIRD OFFENSES. UNCLE DCK HAS NEVER HAD TO USE THE SECOND AND THIRD OPTIONS; THE KIDS ARE TOO AFRAID TO FIND OUT WHAT THEY ARE.

Reply

Maybe you are reading into something that is not there,. I hear from people all the time how their child is disrespectful in the way they say things and it is not meant that way at all.. I have an 11 yr old granddaughter that explained that to me.. She told me that sometimes she is just tired and it comes out the wrong way or maybe mom is tired and she hears it the wrong way..

Reply

My daughter's one and only tantrum occurred in a grocery store. It was surprising because she was 3 1/2 and very coooperative. She feel back on the floor and began kicking and screaming. I kept shopping and rounded the end of the aisle and waited. When she got to my side I simply asked, "Is that done?" I got a friendly yes and we continued. With the wrong tone, I'd just say, "Wrong tone; try again until you get it right." Sometimes it took 6 or 8 times, but I'd wait her out. The habit didn't last long. When the tone occasionally occurred when she was older I'd again announce "Wrong tone." The next favor I was asked, let's say for a ride or a permission I'd remind her of the wrong tone and then add, "So, that's why I'm saying no now" All of this was delivered in a low key way. It took care of business.

Reply

my little girl is now 4 years old and she has an bad attitude too!!!!! she does not listen to anythung i have to say and do either!!!!!!!!! but when her father comes in the picture then it a 360!!!!! so what a mother to do?????!!!!!! so i have tried everything from spankings to getting down to her level and doing the nice talk but that does not work either!!!!!!! she thinks she is the boss of me and i do not know what to do???!!!!! so does anyone have any good advice for me to go by???!!! let me know please e-mail me back at roycelee1980@aol.com thanks a lot!!!!!!!!!

royce hudson!!!!!

Reply

Get a puppy, learn how to train it with boundries done with love and respect-in both directions. They do learn. Then have a kid and use the same principles. I can't train my 80 yr. old mother-it's too late- who the outside world adores, while the family knows she is a disturbed and dysfunctional person. It is quite normal animal and human behavor to act up when they know they can get away with something with no consequances or --rewards-for doing the right thing.

Reply

Maybe the mother is always nagging her over trivial things. Maybe she inadvertently degrades her daughter in the things she says to her. I say this b/c looking back on it, my mother said many hurtful deminishing things to me that made me feel like an ass,and look like a dummy, and embarrased me and made me angry. She did it all in the name of being a good mother and trying to make me be the daughter she wished I was----a perfect daughter.
Kids used to say to me ---" The way you talk to your mother is terrible." I didn't know what they were talking about. I just talked to my mother in normal tones,---- I thought . Looking back on it now.----I probably talked to her like she talked to me, and nobody heard her b/c she didn't do it much when other people were arouond.

Reply

The kid is nice in school and "sassy" with the mom because the mom lets her get away with.
Its doubtful the teacher tolerates the "attitude" in school and the kid now knows better...mommy does put up with the attitude.

Kids know who's in charge and who isn't. Clearly the mom isn't.

Reply

If you are a parent, teacher or someone that works with and cares about children please check out www.bookbymike.com. A must read

Reply

Just a wild guess on my part, but as mom of adult children and now a grandmother...well I would hazard a guess that mom lost control of the kid shortly after birth. I would ask her why she has not taught the kids manners and what is and is not acceptable behavior at home or in public. The children are a reflection of the training that they give theri parents. I don't think that this rude behavior is anything new at all, mom has just chosen to see it at this time. As far as the comment about different forms of discipline is a crock. Kids need rules to follow and they also need to know what will happen if the rules are crossed. My own 4 learned early on and seldom crossed the line. There was no physical punishment as far as that goes. For some reason they knew better then to push my limits. That in itself is funny as it took years for me to have a pregnancy that came to a successful end...live birth and as a result I was rather a permissive parent for the most part. Now that they are adults, I am asked how I managed so well, dad was military and gone a large part of the time. and it was just me. They are also setting up the same rules for their children as they grow old enough to understand what they are told.

Reply

Dust off your copy of Dr. Laura's book. You "owe" your kid a roof over his head, simple meals, simple clothing . . . that's it. They can EARN anything else they get, or lose it by stupid behavior. Go into her room,
take EVERYTHING out but the mattress, ONE set of clothes and a light bulb and then tell her she can earn her stuff back ONE good deed at a time. Parents today give their kids everything - they're basically rich, spoiled kids who don't care about anything or anyone and act as if it's owed to them. Pull the rug out from under them and start over - the first lesson of life didn't sink in!

Reply

This would be funny, if it wasn't really happening! If you ASK, her to pick up her shoes, she does the eye roll! Don't ask, tell her. I may be old school, but when my parents said to do something, I did it..no if's & or buts, there was no counting to 3, to stop doing whatever we were doing (not just me, I have 3 sisters). I just want to say..Don't let your kids run all over you!! Be a parent, then a friend, later, if she's doing that @ 9 think about how she will be @ 13, 14, etc, hell, even 10!

Reply

My response to my two teenagers is, "I don't have time for you when you speak to me in a rude tone. But I have all the time in the world for someone who speaks to me kindly." And then I wait. It usually stops them in their tracks (not all of the time, sometimes they need to cool off that teenager mood), but more times than not it is very effective.

Reply

First of all, sassy's is so disrepectful. In my day growoing up....you did not such a thing. And I'm a parent that did not put up with that kind of behavior at all. It all starts at birth. whatever you put infront of a child they will act it out. So, we do not wait for a change to come a about, we start with new instructions. Our children need guidence all the time and I don't mean being a push over and or becoming a monster. This means showing them that you love them and you want the best for them. Most kids want parents who care about what they feel or what they think. I've always place my self in a position to make my self open to my childrens uniniqueness as a person. If they like the color blue and would always by things they like blue and of couse that wears out too. So, to all those who are parents now and are on your way to be a parent....just stop for a lot moments and remember when you were a teenager trying to fine who you are. I say this all the time, "In order to get results from parenting, You must get down in your childrens face and mean that just like I said it. Love not across the room, it's putting your arms around them and telling them everyday, I love you......... and once they get a hold of I love you, its Wonderful. The World is not sweet any more, so get busy with what God gave you. Enjoy your children for every age they are, because it only comes around once in a life time. One time, that 's it. And while you are at it...Pray hard for God to helo you in the Storms, because thier will be storms, some are instinctive and others are way over the top. And when they get grown, it's still not over, this is a start of a whole relationship....Hey that is what we call life.....Wow....What a Ride.....Hold on!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply

I read this in one of the magazines, years ago, used it on my son and it worked like a charm.

Dan was between 8 and 9 and he just became miserable, mouthy, belligerent, and whiny! That last one nearly drove me crazy. So next time he did it, I did what the magazine said: We were in the living room, I moved him to the front door (gently guided him), opened the door, opened the screen door, and moved him oh so gently outside. Then I closed all the doors. I did NOT lock either door.

Silence. Then a couple of minutes later he quietly and gently opened the door, came in and sat right down in the rocking chair, not making a sound. And that was that. I never, ever had a problem with him again.

The article explained that every human being has the right to do what they want to do, they just don't have the right to impose their behavior on other people. My son had every right to his tantrums and attitude. He just didn't have the right to subject me to it. :-)

Reply

As a teacher, the best thing I have learned in many of these situations is to ignore the child, or respond in a calm, friendly, but still serious manner. A child doing this (especially a "tween") is trying to get a reaction out of you and create drama. If you don't play into it, then he/she will get the hint and give up the act. Yes, you can't allow blatant disrespect, but at the same time, many parents and teachers play right into the kid's game by losing it themselves.

Reply

Also, to the parents who suggest that hitting the girl is an answer, you're setting her up to be abused by every man that comes into her life. My mother was raised by strict "spare the rod spoil the child" types and as a result, she has been married to three abusive (physically, emotionally) men. I honestly believe that the mentality of "we're doing this because we love you" kept her (and me) in hellish marriages growing up.

Reply

Me and my sister got spankings...that straightened us up...i'm 20 now and I do what my parents ask. I mean seriously it wont take long just to do it...so if kids just stop the complaining and do what is asked it takes like 2 seconds of what their video game or tv time...uh they will live geez

Reply

The old "it's not what you say, but how you say it" That happens w/ adults also. What's wrong w/ a spanking if you do wrong, not the eye rolling, sassey talk, etc...but now kids know & I've even heard them say to the parents "You can't spank me, send me to my room, take away this or that, because I will call CPS!" I would like to say back to them, fine call them..I only have to provide you with a roof over your head & food, not all the extras you think you need. Seems to me that kids are running the parents, & the parents are giving in just to shut them up! Be a parent, so what if they get mad @ you? Believe me, they will get over it, in about an hour.

Reply