Children Raised By Relatives Suffer Health Risks

Oh yeah and I'm really sure my grandchildren need to be living with a convicted felon (mother) who allowed the live in boyfriend to physically, mentally, emotionally and quite possibly sexually abused both of the kids! The state of Louisiana stepped in and I had to fight for them to be with me instead of her. I now have permanent custody of them. I know they get down and sad, after all who wouldn't after all they had to go through? I make sure they go to the doctor, take any meds prescribed to them, have them living in a clean home with food on the table and go to school every day. I love them, give them hugs, tell them how great they are all the time and yes when they get in trouble and they do they get punished. Not hitting, making them kneel on rice for long periods of time or any of the other bizarre methods the mother used. We have good days and bad days like all parents and children. As grandparents we are trying our best to undo the damage their parents have done to them. I receive no money from the state or from the parents on a regular basis. The father tries to help when he can, the mother hardly at all. Why can't you see the good that we do?

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What was the purpose of this study exactly? As a foster and adoptive parent, this info is obvious to me. Children who are being raised by someone who is not their parent are most likely in this situation due to abuse or neglect by the parent. These children are more likely than their peers to have mental or physical health problems for many reasons: abuse or neglect by the parents, prenatal drug use, or parental mental health problems with a genetic link. It is also likely that some parents are unable to meet the special needs of their child and go looking for someone else to take over for them. What this study tells me is that people who are parenting their grandchildren, nieces, and nephews need more resources and supports available to them.

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Why would anyone even want to do this research? If the kids are living with someone other than their parents, usually that's because there is something wrong with one or both parents. So obviously they are comparing apples and oranges. A: the kids have suffered the trauma of being separated from their parents and whatever other baggage goes with that. B: the grandparents raised one of the parents, so sometimes that means the grandparents are applying bad parenting to a second generation. (Not always, sometimes.) C: some of these issues are genetic. D: Some of these issues have to do with low income/poverty, which often affects multiple generations. Seriously, what can anyone expect? Why waste money on a study to prove the obvious? And what agenda is this now going to feed?

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Me and my sister was raised by my grandmother. There were no poverty issues on either parent part. They were divorced from each other. I feel that it caused me and my sister to have abandonment issues and trust issues. My grandmother God bless her did the best she could. And she suffered from mental illness. I'm a mother of three now. I'm proud to say that I'm raising them. I would never put them off on anyone if I can do it myself. My sister also has children and believes the same. There is nothing like a child having their mother or father. In my case I had neither.But it motivated me. I started working when I was 14 years old. By the time I was 21 I was a single mother but also a home owner. Well I do have problems with relationships. I'm in my second marriage now but that's another topic. Parents should raise their children if they are fit to do so.

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I have to agree that this research is bogus and a waste of time. I am a mother of three children and raising two of my nieces from my sister. Of course my nieces have emotional issues, it happens when you have years of neglect and emotional trauma from absentee parents. I treat all of my kids the same, take them all to the same doctor for check ups and take them to the dentist twice year and anything in between. Even though both of my nieces still call me aunt, they have both said that in the last few years of living with me and my family, they actually feel like they have a family that loves them. Both of them have said that my husband and I are more like their parents because we have taken the time to nurture them and love them. I don’t care how much they research, there are many families that have taken in their other family members not out of sense of duty but because they know they could give them more love and kindness that what their real parents could ever give them.

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Or become President of the United States.

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I find this to be a large pile of BS. Since when is it better for a ch ild to live with a parent that is a felon, mentally ill and abusive? As a grandmother, I don't need these so called experts to tell me what is best for my grands. I married a man that should have been taken from his family and put in foster care. In stead he was left with mom and grandmom and they were both nuttier then fruit cakes and he ended up with problems that I did my best to make up for and cover up to the public for too many years. When I was no longer physically able to take care of him and needed help myself he packed up and left me high and dry and in hospital.

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The reason these kids have more issues is because the the issuse are actually getting treated instead of being ignored and not treated. My niece had to have alot of dental work done, when i first got her, and she was only four,
Dental wor that stemed from neglect

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I am raising my grandson. He has been with me since he was 2 and is now 10. Both his parents are deceased. Why do I have to hear this ??? He is doing well. Why not do a study on the positives????

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My husband & I raised our grandson from the day he was born. His mother lived with us also, he never met his father (nor did we). She loves him, but when it came to practical matters, when he needed time and attention, it was always us that provided it, along with most of his financial needs. She is not a druggy or a terrible person, just completely lazy with no ambition whatsoever. She gave him lots of love as long as she didn't have to do anything for him or take care of him. When he turned 18, she left and moved to another State. He is 20 now, still with us, is well adjusted, healthy, never been depressed for one minute of his life, doing well in community college and has worked a steady job since he was 16. He has lived in a household where the husband & wife love each other, show it all the time, support, nurture and cherish each other, and he has good moral values and is one of the finest human beings I've ever known. He's accepted his mother as she is, knows he can't ever rely on her for anything, but that she does love him. If a child is loved, and knows it, you can usually raise him or her well. He's had the best example of what a good marriage looks like from us, and has learned how to be a good man from his grandfather. That's all he's ever needed, and he will do just fine in life, thank you.

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This 'study' proves nothing. Me and my 2 sisters have been raised by my grandparents for the past five years. My mother has a drug problem, and recently got out of prison.Our father died when we were very young. If our grandparents didn't take us in, who would have? I did want to be separated from my sisters and family. Yes, we all go to therapy, but that's because of our traumatic childhood, not because we lack a mother. I am so grateful for my grandparents, and I wouldn't want it any other way.

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Really!! have any of these people been in a family situation where a child is being raised by relatives??? This very much ticks me off. my sister is the most pathetic excuse for a person i've ever met and my parents are raising her child and i can tell you when she shows her face the child is almost uncontrolable and as soon as she is gone for a few weeks we have our happy child back or i should say as happy as he can be with her only coming around to hurt people because she doesn't have custody. I must dissagree that all children are better off with biological parents. and unless you're there don't write an article about your research keep your mouth shut

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MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE RAISED OUR FOUR CHILDREN AND FIVE OF MY NEICES AND NEPHEWS. FROM MENTAL ILL PARENTS DRUG ADDICTS AND ALCOHOLICS. THEY COME WITH FETAL ALCOHOL AFFECTS BIPOLAR DISORDER CRACK BABIES AND ANY THING ELSE YOU WANT TO THROW IN. WE AS KINSHIP CARE TRY TO UNDO WHAT THE PARENTS HAVE DONE WITH THESE KIDS. YES THEY TAKE A LOT OF EDUCATION TO RAISE. AND I FIND THAT TEACHERS DONT KNOW ENOUGH TO HELP THESE KIDS. ONE TEACHER TOLD SHE WENT TO A DIFFERENT SCHOOL TO TEACH BECAUSE THESE KIDS COME WITH TO MUCH BAGGAGE. WE DID NOT CAUSE THESE PROBLEMS WE JUST TRY TO FIX THE PROBLEMS THESE PARENTS CAUSED.

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re: this article: ...DUH.

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Good heavens, people, put your egos in check. You could be the most wonderful loving grandparents/Aunties and uncles in the world and these kids will still have special needs and anxieties. For the grandparents, they know that older folks die, even if you are in prime shape, your grandkid might worry when you get the sniffles, what if gran dies, what will happen to me? For you Aunties and Uncles, if the child feels now they "actually have a family that loves them" That means they clearly felt abandoned and adrift BEFORE. They may somewhere inside be waiting for the bottom to drop out and this family unit to evaporate just as the one they were born into did. It is extremely stressful for a child to be raised by people other than their parents, even if the parents are completely unfit and their guardians are heaven-sent. Kids can romanticize their parents, can feel a close connection to them even if they were abused, and feel different and alienated from their peers who live with their parents( or at least one of them). If they are aware of the fact that they cannot live with Mom or dad because of drug problems, because of incarceration, or because Mom and dad are "bad" they naturally may wonder if they have inherited these traits/behaviors too and will wind up the same way.
For those of you raising your relatives kids with love and care this study is not an indictment of ALL that you give and do. Rather a reminder that these kids are traumatized and there is often a lot more going on under the surface that they don't necessarily show. They may be afraid they will be sent away to another relative or put in foster care, or even be afraid that they will have to go back and live with their parents! They don't need to be treated "the same" as the other kids in the home, they need to be treated with more reassurance!
And it doesn't mean that relatives necessarily give inferior care to these children, just that it is so scary and world shattering to be a child and not have a Mom and Dad you can count on ( like everyone else does).

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