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'Supersize' Families: The Joy of Having 8-Plus Kids
Filed under: Siblings, In The News, Weird But True, Amazing Parents, Twins, Triplets, Multiples
As a mother of eight, Michele Rusden says her calendar is key. Credit: Michele Rusden
When Melina Cummings, 37, of Montgomery County, Md., had her first child, she was overwhelmed. Three children later, she decided she was done having babies and gave all the baby stuff away. Today, she's the proud mother of eight -- three boys and five girls -- ages 5 months, 2, 4, 6, 7, 9, 11 and 13.
And when she and her husband take the family out (in their 12-passenger van) they get a lot of attention.
"Sometimes people can't even comment. They just stare," she says. "Others just count, with their finger, out loud, as we pass by."
How does she -- and other moms of eight or more children -- get it all done? It all comes down to organization. And Costco, iCal, date nights at home and laundry-folding parties.
A Team Approach
Elizabeth Foss, 44, who lives in the suburbs of Washington D.C., homeschools most of her nine children, ages 1, 3, 7, 9, 11, 13, 15, 17 and 21, and works from home as a writer and blogger. Her husband travels for work, but staying connected is key to making it all work, she says.
"We text each other all day long and check in frequently by phone," she tells ParentDish. "The strength of this family depends very much upon the strength of our relationship and we both know it and work very hard to respect that."
Michele Rusden, 43, of Philadelphia, a full-time Avon representative and mother of eight, ages 7 to 21, agrees.
"Managing to keep my business thriving and their social lives in order can be a challenge," she says. "But we are able to keep things positive, due to our team efforts, and both my husband and I have a thriving business life, and the children have full lives, too.
Cummings says every year is a learning year.
"You meet the challenges and learn," she says. "It's not a talent, it's a blessing."
"The Calendar is Key"
"iCal is the only way I know where I am and where I'm supposed to be," Foss says.
And Rusden agrees that a calendar is a must-have.
"I have a big calendar where I write everything down -- appointments, dates, reminders, everything," she tells ParentDish.
Most of the moms we talked to simply don't use baby-sitters. (Do you know a teenager who could handle eight-plus children at once? And just imagine the hourly rate.). So couples make time for a lot of at-home dates, watching movies and eating together.
A Full -- and Clean Enough -- House
When you have so many children, keeping an immaculate house is nearly impossible.
"Keeping the house clean is like shoveling snow in a blizzard," Foss says.
And Gabriella San Severino, 49, of Myerstown, Penn., a mother of nine children ages 6 to 26, says, "I'll never get caught up. And I'm OK with that now."
Topping the list of consuming chores? Laundry.
"Laundry is utterly ridiculous," says Foss, who does four loads a day. Cummings does two a day, and if either woman gets behind, and the piles grow out of control, both call in the troops for some group folding. Cummings puts on a movie and everyone watches and folds, while Foss' sons only get to watch basketball on TV if they fold while doing so.
Foss does most of her food shopping at warehouse stores ("Other people are buying in bulk; I'm doing the weekly grocery run.") Her family goes through 15 dozen eggs a month, while the Cummings family tears through five gallons of milk and five dozen eggs a week and the Rusdens buy five to six loaves of bread a week.
Then all that food has to be cooked. Cummings enjoys cooking, and starts thinking about lunch and dinner as soon as breakfast is over. Foss says she cooks for her family every night, even when she's tempted to just dump cereal in paper bowls and be done with it.
Family Fun
Most of these moms tell ParentDish they always wanted to have lots of kids.
"When we were engaged, we thought it would be fun to have a big family," Foss says. "We also always thought a big family was four kids. But it very much surprises and delights us to be where we are today. The greatest gift we've given our kids is their siblings, and they know it."
Both Cummings and Rusden say as the children get older, they have even more fun with them.
"It used to bother us that we didn't go out," Cummings says. "But now when we go out with the older kids, we have a blast."
Looking back to those first overwhelming days of motherhood, when she would call her husband and ask when he was going to be home from work, Cummings says, "I laugh a little at myself, as I now find that with a few children in the house it seems quiet. I'm blessed to have had the chance to be a mother and share in the joy over the little things only a mother would notice -- eight times over."
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ReaderComments (Page 2 of 9)
5-17-2010 @ 9:29PM
tcraw10506 said...We need to start having smaller families or the world will run out of food and resources. I guess you don't care about other people just yourself with too many children. Wake up before its too late.
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5-19-2010 @ 9:27PM
byron85 said...All the comments on the world running out of food makes no sense. When is the last time you've ever walked into a store in America and was worried that there wouldn't be food in there? Never! Everyday, bakers and different places of food production throw away food because it's ONE DAY old. We don't have a food supply problem, we have a food distribution problem.
5-19-2010 @ 10:29PM
Sharon said...Last I heard this was a free country and should be a free world. No one has the right to tell another person how many children they can or should have if they take responsibility for them.
Having children is a human right. It is not the families with more children who are taking the earths resources. They are usually trying to be frugal and save resources and money.
It is the rich who are buying and buying and using oogobs of this earths resources. And most of them have only one or two children. It is huge companies whose stockholders and CEO's and owners who need to make a zillion dollars so they make tons of products, most of it just useless junk we buy. The byproducts of these factories pollute our rivers and oceans and fill our land fills to the brim. Not to mention deplete our natural resources.
A responsible family with 8 children is not what is causing the worlds problems. It is those who have polluted this earth with their huge factories, needing to make billions of dollars that have caused our earth to be so depleted and polluted that we now have an issue with having 'enough' for everyone.
5-20-2010 @ 9:54AM
Cass said...Yes that is true. I agree with Tcraw.Start with smaller family. In few years we will start having problems with running out of food. All type of sea animals out in the ocean are dying because of oil. The coral reefs are already dead in Key West are done for already. The marsh/wetland in the keys are polluted with oil. They can not be rehabilitated ever! This will start to snowball more and more as ecomony starts to fall deeper and deeper. Who will feed all the large families. I understand it is their choice to have a large family. Right now it isnt a good time to start a family yet until we are out of wood but the question remains when WILL we get out of wood?
5-17-2010 @ 9:37PM
Janet A. Keenan said...Sorry Suz and Carol. These families are the world's only hope. They are populating the earth with children born to responsible parents who are raising them to be productive members of society. That sure beats the inner city unwed mom with 8 kids, from 8 different fathers, "raising" them to be high school dropouts, gang members, criminals, and the next generation of welfare moms or serial sperm donors.
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5-19-2010 @ 10:14PM
Kate said...Amen! Articles like this always talk about the families with productive parents that are responsibly raising their broods. I come from a large family, I have a large family myself. The only way to make it work is through division of labor, all individuals contributing, teaching manners and respect and responsibility and initiative. These are all characteristics of the greatest members of our society. Raising 8 members of society like this trumps any one child raised irresponsibly and these kids are the future leaders of our great nation. The worry is with people having large numbers of kids to collect welfare and live off the system - those are the future dope dealers, crackheads and jailbirds.
5-19-2010 @ 10:42PM
Kiki said...As I read through all these comments I am mostly APPALLED. But your comment J.A Keenan was just as bad, if not worse, than the previous ones. Are you racist? Because your comment about "inner city moms with 8 kids from 8 different dads...." was ignorant. All of the gang members, high school dropouts, crimnals and etc are not always the products of a parent's failing. Yes, there is a great need for reform in the lives of inner city parents and their children. But my GRANDPARENTS raised ALL 8 of their children in the inner city and they were NOT on welfare, ALL 8 GRADUATED High School and continued education or went straight into the workforce. My Grandparents were GOD-FEARING people who were blessed to add to the world population 8 good citizens (including my mom). So to all of you rude, ignorant people: GOD told Adam and Eve to be fruitful and MULTIPLY! And God said that "As your need so shall your suppy be." It's a shame that people don't want to acknowledge that God bless many parents with large families because God is adding numbers to HIS KINGDOM. The KINGDOM that will replace this world very soon. Are you ready for that?
5-19-2010 @ 10:54PM
Dorothy said...Janet:
Thank you for your comments. As the child of a large family #8 of 9 I can say very clearly that you are correct. When you are born to resposible loving parents, you tend to be resposible loving parents yourself. All of my sibllings are productive and successful individulas. We range from business men to docotors. My parents supported us in all our goals and because of this we achieved them. All but one sibling have children our numbers range from 6 to 2 each.
Keep in mind those of you who think that large families are over populating this world, with out my siblings, criminals would still run the streets. With out my siblings, sick indiviuals would not be healed. With out my siblings individuals business needs would not be met. With out my siblings businesses, individuals would not have employment. With out my siblings, the next generations would be missing more responsible and loving adults which this society needs.
5-17-2010 @ 9:41PM
Janet A. Keenan said...Actually, we need these productive citizens to pay for the non-productive ones. These are the individuals who will support, and figure out how to feed, the non-productive ones.
If you want to call people irresponsible, let's make it the ones who have all these kids and CAN'T support them.
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5-17-2010 @ 9:52PM
Holly said...Instead of ranting about taxpaying American citizens who choose to have more than 2 children, you should be ranting about all the illegal aliens coming to this country, working under the table, paying no taxes and having anchor babies to get a welfare check and free social services. Deporting illegal aliens and ending the practice of letting anyone born here be a citizen when only a handful of other countries allow it would do more to improve the environmental health of the United States than complaining about US citizens having large families. They're not leaving trash across our Southwestern deserts or straining our natural resources like the illegals and their American born offspring.
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5-17-2010 @ 10:23PM
Brian said...Absolutely brilliant lady, let's all have 8 kids and when they all grow up to be 1 billion, 6 hundred million additional american CONSUMERS let's check out how much water, oil and natural gas is left and how polluted the remaining resources are. It's a function of society now, think small about what YOU want and not about Earth and it's slow destruction at our hands. Nah, don't even worry about it, go turn on the air-conditioner, let the water run in the sink extra long until it's hot or cold, put your feet up, watch a little National Geographic channel and when they talk about deforestation and climate change, yawn and call your boo for another beer. It's all about caring. Do you?
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5-19-2010 @ 12:43AM
Madredeocho said...You are an idiot, because large families have been around for a very long time. My children where born years ago, and have done more probably for society then yourself or your one child. So next time think before you speak, because all I can hear coming out of your mouth is a bunch of uninformed, uneducated, words. In the future check your resources!
5-20-2010 @ 12:23AM
Theresa Hartman said...The problem is not the overpopulation of the Earth, but the under-population of the brain cells in your mind. You are worried about problems that may not exist in 50 years. After all, aren't you worried there won't be enough horses to pull the wagons of produce to town? No? That's because that worry has been solved. We found a better way. And future generations will find a better way, too!
(BTW, anyone who is worried about "using up" all the Earth's water needs another 4th grade lesson in "The Water Cycle". No water gets "used up." It all gets recycled, one way or another. Sheesh. You people!)
5-17-2010 @ 10:26PM
Mary said...We do not need to start having smaller families. It's just the opposite. We need educated people who can educate and provide for children, who are able to raise self sufficient, productive members of society to have them. Unfortunately, educated middle and upper middle class families have stopped reproducing. The burden to our tax system and resources is from those not contributing back into the system and raising children who are unlikely to as well.
As far the environment goes, I live a life dedicated to environmental welfare through my life style choices and my job. Although more people will burden the environment, we need intelligent, educated people to come up with solutions. Less people does not equal smarter, more responsible people.
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5-18-2010 @ 2:17AM
Steph said...So, what you're saying Mary is that the upper middle class should be reproducing more as they have the ability to breed "intellect".
Their children will all become self sufficient, productive members of society? That is quite a statement. So what should we do with the millions of children that are already here, in our Country, on our planet, that do not have the upper class upbringing you deem so important? Wouldn't it make more sense to FOCUS of these children? Fix our schools, motivate our teachers not to give up on these children. Show these children that they too can be self sufficient, productive members of society.
I personally would rather see my tax dollars help a kid from the projects get into college then see those same tax dollars pay for his time in prison.
5-19-2010 @ 8:52PM
Regee said...Steph, how many children from the inner city have you adopted?
5-17-2010 @ 10:46PM
Larry said...What happens is the older children are forced to parent the younger ones and when that is happening on a regular basis you have child abuse. Children, five and under need lots of attention, a condition developed in human culture by the natural spacing of children in the ancient hunter-gatherer cultures of 4-5 years.
Having big families is a form of ego tripping while in poor countries it's a form of social security.
The earth is beyond the point of sustainable population growth, we are drowning in our own wastes, CO2 is just one.
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5-17-2010 @ 10:58PM
JIM said...This article is very exciting. Why? We are a gay couple with 14 children, 5 are birth children belonging to me, 8 have been adopted from the foster care system, 1 has been placed privately. ALL of our adopted children have special needs, the least of which is ADHD, the worst is Mental Disabilities, ranging in the lower full scale IQ of 53. The children we adopted came from homes where there was rampant sexual abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse as well as emotional abuse. each of our children are wonderful gifts, that come with life time commitments. We are very happy with them ALL.
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5-17-2010 @ 11:07PM
jackhammer8456 said...I can't believe some of the creepy messages here .. congrats on all your happiness folks.
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5-17-2010 @ 11:10PM
David said...Lets do a little math......... Where I live we are on the low end of the cost spectrum and here it cost $7000 per child to educate them from grade one to twelve. That cost the tax payers 56K per year for eight kids and for twelve years that is 672K. I realize that not all will be in school at the same time but the math is the same..... Why should someone have eight or fifthteen kids and expect everyone else to pay to educate them.........
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