Opinion: My Daughter's a High-School Dropout and I'm Totally Okay With It

He's working on his Master's degree... but did he ever WORK?? Chances are, he never WILL either.

High school was good for sports and getting laid, but that's about it. I have a masters degree, graduated "Who's who in American Colleges and Universities" and am a retired piliot. I made pretty good money too, but it wasn't because of the rocket science I learned in high school.

As a mother and a family therapist, it is heart warming to see a great example of really 'seeing' your daughter for who she is at this time. Too often parents get overly concerned with choices that are different than those that they would choose for their children, for whatever reason. If they go to school, where they go to school, who they marry, if they marry and on and on. If we are successful, our children are able to make independent choices that allow them to step into their own lives, hopefully while maintaining their family relationships. I never liked those bumper stickers " My daughter is an honor student at___" I would prefer, 'my daughter is an honorable person.' Not a bumper sticker really, just to live true to herself and respectful of others.

Thank you for your story! My oldest got her GED this year and has taken some college credits since earning her degree. My youngest struggles every day with school, has repeated 8th grade twice and is still failing, yet she continues to try. Your story reminds me that I am not alone with the struggles of teenagers and school! Wishing your family the best!

I'm a highscholl drop out... I just got a my AAOT with a GPA of 3.51, and have made the deans list. Now I am on my way to get BA or MA at a good college. high schools are over-rated poolly run and often little more than "free" bady-sitting. a doc later fount that my lack of interest was due to intellegence rather than a lack.

Sounds to me like the mother just gave up on the daughter...........hey it happens!

I wish that I had the foresight to let my daughter quit high school. She was so stressed by the end of 12th grade that she needed psychological help. She is now 22 and has been able to put most of that horrible (for her) experience behind her.

High school didn't work for my son, either, but I essentially forced him to stick it out and graduate. Now, at 26, he's getting jobs for which drop-outs are passed over. His high school graduation stands high on his list of accomplishments for which he is proud. My sadness is that he never went to college. Would he have, if we hadn't pushed so hard? I don't think so. It is a decision every parent has to struggle with.

I droped out of HS when I was 17. I am now 23 I own a Business. With 5 locations. A house, and an Audi. My wife doesnt need to work. 99% of my friends went to college and can not get a job. I didnt have any help from anyone I grew up without money my family couldnt even buy my brothers and I food 75 percent of the time.

Well, if high school "didn't work" for her, maybe sitting around the house unemployed possibly becoming an unwed mother will work out better for her. Years from now she'll regret her screwed up life, lack of future and all the other realizations that set in as one gets older and faces life. Glad she'll have such an educated and "enabling" parent to be there for her...and be there, and be there and be there..... You, Mom, will never have a life of your own or another man in your life with this millstone stuck around your neck.

I too am a high school dropout. I moved out at 16 and began working full time. (I had a part-time job ever since I was 13 yrs old) I've since gotten my GED; I graduated with my AAS in Criminal Justice w/ a GPA of 3.954. I hope to finish up on my bachelor's soon. I am currently an accountant I have a 1800 sq ft home that I bought 3 years ago (upgraded from my 800sq ft one that I purchased at 20) Don't tell me it can't be done!

WOW! Congratulations for parenting your child with bravery and and acceptance! Reading this story has made me think about the expectations that I put on my own "honor student" daughters. And my mother died when I was 16. Going back to school and trying to be a "normal" teenager was the hardest thing and looking back I was depressed everyday and never learned to create a life I could believe in. I can't imagine if I had had a parent who let me redefine myself in my world that had suddenly changed so much! Kuddos!!!!

My teen daughter also struggles with school (and both her parents hold Masters Degrees in the physical sciences). She tests gifted, is a solid, caring, good human and is also exploring getting her GED and taking college courses. One thing I would like to clarify is that indeed you can get into many good 4-year universities with a GED. One must meet the SAT or ACT requirements of said university, and to that end, a student might need tutoring to get the prerequisite material under their belt. But one does not necessarily have to go the community college route. I am not knocking community college; in fact for my daughter, I have told her that it might actually be a good segue before hitting the larger university. She has already taken a practice ACT and aced it. I never thought I would be OK with such an arrangement, but more and more students are ditching busy work and just getting on with their lives. To those parents whose kids are thinking of, or implementing this arrangement, I wish you and your kids the best of luck. To those who are shocked by this arrangement, I understand completely. I felt the same way at first. But unless one has watched their child struggle to the point of tears and a near nervous breakdown or worse, try to soften your judgment. High school is a whole different kettle of fish in this day and age.
Take care everyone,
Shelli

The author claims that "I teach graduate students at one of the top universities in the country" but thinks a high-school dropout can't attend a 4-year university? You just showed that to be wrong. So much for her qualifications.

Is it any wonder Asians are beating the crap out of us intellectually??? Dear God in heaven.. HELP US!!! God forbid we push little "susie" past what is comfortable for her. Dear God, what is happening to us. (PS.. I am NOT referring to those among us that family or economic circumstances PREVENT them from finishing.. those who had to quit school to put food on the family table should be honored and i will be the first in line to salute them!!)

my son droped out ,he was a straight A and B student , he got tired of the bulling and a counselor telling him he needs to see a mental doctor because he chose not to hang out with gangs he had two friends at school and the counslor said there is something wrong with that, go figure so he chose to drop out and is doing very well for him self , I wish he did gradute ,but not being harrassed by school bullies not worth it

I have to laugh at the "exceptions to the rule" who posted below, all of those dropouts....look at the spelling, no talk of actually jobs or good income. I wonder how many still live at home, are marginally employed if at all, and have illegitimate children that others care for and pay for! Really, people, get a grip - high school is the normal progression from childhood to adulthood. Students need those years of socialization and education. Without it, well, we will have more of what we have....illiterate parents raising kids just waiting to go into the prison system or unemployment lines and then raising their own illiterate generation. There can never be too much education...try to find a job without it. But I guess you're right, Mom....better to have a honorable unemployed pregnant teenager who will live at home forever or marry another underachiever and raise more of the same, than to have a honor student....how dumb can people get!!!

We have a similar situation. My son was a straight-A student, but he struggled socially all the way through school because he has Asperger's. He did graduate, but hasn't gone to college two years later, and I've had more than my share of people (including family members) judging me because I haven't forced him to. They assume he's Ivy League material, but don't know the whole story. They don't know that my 13-year-old daughter could go to college tomorrow and be more successful than my son could right now! My son needed a break, and so did I!! My life had to take a back seat to his therapies, contending with teachers who wouldn't follow his IEP, and working through his frequent meltdowns after school.

I'm very thankful to live in a city where medical professionals are on the cutting edge of autism research, so that my son now gets excellent guidance with independent living skills and preparation for job success. He's looking forward to a part-time job as a stock clerk soon, where he won't have to deal with many customers, and his mild obsessive-compulsive tendencies can be put to good use. I wouldn't be any prouder if he was eyeing the presidency. Every kid's different, and moms know their kids best. If only more of them would not bend to societal and family pressures at the expense of a child who's not where they can flourish and feel good about themselves. I applaud this mom, and all others like her! Better to let a child pursue higher education on their own later, if they so choose, when they will take their studies, AND the costs of it, more seriously.

I think it is good for kids to fail. I am a teacher to 7th and 8th grade students and i cant stand it when parents dont allow their kids to fail and learn from their mistake. I think the problem is that they micromanage their kids. IN this artical i was so impressed with this mother that she lets her kids take time. We rush kids off so quickly and make them go to college where they get in debt up to their eyeballs and they dont know what they want to do with their lives. I think it is good for a kid to work a few years earn alot of money and save then go to school if it is the right thing for them to do. WE crush so many kids in america because we make them run into college when they are not ready change their degree half a dozen times and they get out graduate and no job no money and sallie mae calling their name how stupid is that. I had to pay my way through college and let me tell you i was lucky to get a job getting paid 35k a year at my present age of 23. I wish i would have done what some kids are doing now. working and then going to college later on after they bought a house and have a good full time job. Experience is what these kids need not an expensive piece of paper where experience is not there anyway