Opinion: My Daughter's a High-School Dropout and I'm Totally Okay With It

I totally understand how the kid feels, I was exactly the same way although my parents made me finish high school and I did very poorly, just enought to graduate and I hated it and was totally miserable and depressed every step of the way. I wished I could have quit. After I worked for a while and had my freedom and got rid of my resentment I decided it was time to go back to school (college) and I did, I enjoyed it and got good grades because I was studying what I wanted and have since gone on to hold a very good job paying very well. High School doesn't fit everyone. By the way I am 50 and so this isn't just new things kids go through.

High school is more than just getting a diploma. The kids and yes they are still kids at 16, are also learning social skills with other peers their own age and learning responsibility like showing up to class everyday and doing their homework even if they don't want to. I have a special needs son who I refuse to let give up on school and it is important for him to attend high school, even if he gets some "special" diploma instead of a regular one. I guess after we had to go thru so much with his health issues that we would never dream of letting him give up and quit school. When you let your kids quit school, you are re-enforcing that it is ok to quit if you get bored, don't want to go or don't want to do something you don't like. Are you going to be behind your kids when they quit a job because they are bored? Hope they don't have a wife and kids to feed when they do it. But then this generation is one of entitlement and if they "aren't happy" they are allowed to quit.

Ok, your comment makes NO damned sense.He went to a community college but didn't finish high school? The ONLY way that is possible is by his having gotten a GED.

I agree with this 100%. If you aren't commited to going to school, then don't. If you don't know what you want to be when you grow up, then just don't jump into something that's "one size fits all".
My parents coerced me into going to college, after I barely graduated HS. I soldiered through community college, then transfered to a premier engineering school here in NJ. I graduated on the deans list, and was employed after graduation. Now, 15 years later, I am unemployed, with nothing on the horizon, my education is useless, and any job I get is entry level, despite my extensive experience. I wish I would have been more rebelious and told my parents no way, now I regret it. Choose something good, you'll be doing it for a long time.

Well, she may not have finished HS in the traditional way, but she DID get her GED, which is what that HS Proficiency Test was all about, so once again, we have an AOL article that's very misleading!

She can go on to any college with that GED, but more than likely a Jr College for her 2 year degree will be what she does down the road... In the meantime, I'm glad she's working, because I think it's irresponsible to have her GED and then just do nothing until she's 18, expecting to be financially supported while she's on an extended vacation of sorts...

I think this will be a wonderful year of healing for her, as the sudden loss of her father will need to be processed and healed... With such a smart, educated family heritage, I'm sure she'll find her way, but it's not like she didn't finish high school -- she just finished very early, with her GED/HS Proficiency Test... That's not exactly being a drop out...

I had 6 children and only the last two finished High School. The 4 oldest had attended school 7 years in Germany. When they came back to Texas and hit their sophmore years in high school they complained to me that they were really bored; because they had already had the studies in Germany. As each one came to me with the decision that they had made to quit, I acquiested. My reasoning was that I believed them when they said they knew the subjects better than the teachers and I believed if forced to stay in school, they would cause disrutions and trouble for the other students. But! I told them they would not be allowed to lay around the house. I expected them to find a job and buy their own clothes and to contribute to the household expenses. They accepted these terms and never complained or failed in their duties. I didn't ask anyone about my decision and I never regretted it. My kids also had to deal with ADHD. Now two own their own businesses, one died under mysterious circumstances, the oldest is drawing ssi because his bi-polar and Asperger problems are too severe for him to hold a job, one is a comptor analyst and the youngest is a teacher. I believe everyone in this life is where they are supposed to be 100% of the time.

One day your daughter will ask why you didn't make her finish high school! Doing things you don't want to do and learning the value of delayed gratification is real life. Hopefully she'll win the lottery and continue to be able to do whatever she pleases.

i am going thru this now. My son is 16 and not going to school, problem is he will be fined if he doesnt attend until he is 17 which is not till march so he has a long time to figure out what he wants in life at this time other then school. I did all i can to convince him to stay in but at this point, with only 4 credits, in 10th grade and heading to elevens with still only 4 credits, continuing to go is not getting him anywhere at this point

My daughter dropped out of high school at 16 because public school just didn't work for her. She got her GED. Her excellent GED score along with her excellent ACT score got her a full ride scholarship to college. She just turned 19 and just finished her sophomore year. Neither she nor I have regreted the decision for her to "drop out". I think it will become more and more common as schools become more crowded, have larger class sizes and seem to be increasingly less able to serve the individual child who isn't the typical kid. I work in a public school and I am saddened everyday by how we are letting so many of these kids flounder and fail.
Lezlie

Some years ago I attended an informational workshop about dual enrollment for home schoolers. The president of the highly rated community college commented that he was probably the first person we had met who had a GED and a Ph.D. High School or even traditional school in general often is not a good fit for every student.

I always hated school (middle and high school). I liked learning (although I hated math and chemistry!), but I just didn't enjoy the "going to school part." I wished at the time that there was some sort of online school (which there is now), but I didn't know of any of those sort of options, so I ended up dropping out in 12th grade. I never regretted that decision, and, after getting a part time job and working for a little while, decided to go back to school. I took both online and on campus classes and am now transferring to a university and majoring in psychology (something I've really come to love and be interested in). I don't think I ever regretted not going back to high school, as I hated every moment of it. You can "be someone" even if you don't graduate.

By my junior year in high school, I was about ready to quit, too. I
was in plenty of advanced placement classes and maintained honor
roll, but the trouble was the school. They were not challenging, the
students were out of control, and I was wasting my time. It was more
like being babysat that going to get an education. Very sad looking
back.

At the time when I tried to tell my parents how difficult it was to
sit there day in and day out, basically wasting time and days of my
life away, they chalked it up to "teenagers hate school." But after
I graduated, they realized just how bad it had really been and said
had they known the truth, they'd have pulled me and home schooled me.
There are different situations for everyone and the reason people
drop out is not always the same. It's a shame GEDs have such a
stigma to them.

If going to school from age 5 to age 18 only prepares you at best for
a job flipping burgers, something's wrong with our school systems.
But, then, that's not really news, is it? =P Pythagorean theorem?
Sure! Balancing a checkbook? No way. And never mind teaching kids
about credit cards and APRs. Sigh. What a farce; the illusion that
we're actually being taught something worthwhile.

u and your daughter are retarded. but i'm 19 done with high school and in college i agree alot of us didn't WANT to go to high school and it was a strain for all of us not just your daughter..... and the death of her father shocked her ? at least she had a father you have to think of it on the other side at least you had a dad who loved you and was there for you, you should be happy he is in a better place now. i agree u don't learn everything ur suposed to in high school its mostly for hanging out n doin drugs drinkin and havin sex but that is a huge experience in your life and your daughter missed it and ur hopeing your daughter has a creative future of being a movie star and all that ? you just missed the biggest factor in your life that MAKES YOU creative and thats high school. good luck mabye u should read some more books..... books will never = real life experiance

Many many teens are way over stressed by our unreal school system! See 'Race to nowhere.' Kudos for putting your daughter's well being before mainstream pressures. She will find a better way and do fine!

US high schools are set up for 40% failure rates. The push is for college and that's all. In some of the best European country's at the second year of secondary school (Sophomore in high school) one decides to go the next 2 years studying for college or the next 2 years on trade school, working part time for job experience in a area of interest and schooling only related to that field. It allows those who want to be trades-people to focus on that and gain experience instead of dropping out or wasting 2 years of their life. America needs to wake up and get out of this no kid left behind crap!

Thank you for writing this!!! I needed to read it. My son just made similar decision. Had similar struggles -- plus the suicide of a good friend, and his own suicidal ideations back in 2007. He is currently finishing out this year in his two elective "tech" classes -- theatre tech, and automotive tech. This summer he will get his equivalency diploma -- he tests well and will likely get through it first attempt. What he struggled with at school was the teen drama oozing all around him, the load of homework, and inflexible policies of the math and english departments. Which, by the way, is one of the top schools in Fairfax County, if not the Nation. My sonRay is highly motivated, but as soon as he found out his BSBA-bound sister-in-law got a GED at the end of her homeschooled education and made the connection that he can get a GED and still go to college, his immediate next thought was he does not see the point in obtaining his HS Diploma with poor grades on his transcripts for classes that stress conformance to teacher enforced rules versus such important lifetime differentiators as the development of critical thought processes, and the development of crucial negotiation and soft skills. And he has had WONDERFUL teachers in this school, several of whom over the past three years have stretched the rules to the limit to "save" kids like my son, but the policies flow down from above -- form as high as the U.S. Department of Education. The issues faced by these teachers, students, and administrators alike are as fundamental as the argument for or against Montesori education and gender isolation in the school and/ or classroom. I love my son, at first begrudgingly supported his decision, but I am enjoying watching him destress and unkink from this uptight, freaked-out, OCD/fidgity therapist-dependent mess and blossom into a responsible, productive, independently highly functional and more serene young man who stands quite tall now (in addition to attending these two classes in highschool, he works 3 jobs and picks up lawn and hauling jobs on the side). He is preparing to live on his own, so I purchased a basic vehicle (truck) and the title for it is awaiting notification he aced his equivalency diploma test, assured him that I will keep him on my medical insurance, and offered to help underwrite his basic living expenses each month by a certain amount of money drawn monthly from the savings that were originally to pay for his college -- a sort of child support, if you will. He may go on to college in a year or two, and he may bounce back home before he launches into adulthood for good. I will be ready for any of that if it happens, too.

Thank you again for writing about your experience. And I thank God that people like you and Maria Shriver have expressed similar "unconditional love" type stories for people like me to see, leading up to this time in my son's and my life. As Ray emerges into adulthood, with parental love and a reasonable level of support, his journey will certainly be easier than that of your stereotypical highschool dropout.

Prime example of telling your child it's okay to give up when you have difficulty with things. It was difficult for my daughter too. She sufferered from migraines, but she graduated high school. I do not condemn her getting her GED or anyone else for that matter, but this life is hard and the only way to teach our children is by teaching them to follow through and complete the task at hand. I am so glad this woman makes her living encouraging parents to allow their children to give up and take the easy way--hope it works out for them (I also hope she can sell enough books to take care of her daughter for a long time as she sleeps late, and can't handle day-day pressures--I am sorry for the girl's woes but most teenagers go through exactly all the health issues that she did--it is no reason to quit).

No the most overrated schooling isn't high school, it is college.

My step-brother dropped out of high school at 16 after repeating the 9th grade three times. He is now 35 years old, has two illegitimate children with two different women, has no driver's license because he's lost it so many times for underage drinking and DUI, cannot or will not hold a steady job, still lives at home with my dad and his mom, sleeps late every day, plays video games much of the day, and stays out until all hours of the night.
Now, you tell me... What would EVER give me the incentive to support my children dropping out of school?

I really hate to see that parents give up on making thier children get an education. We have more oppoertunities in this country than any other,yet children are brought up to think they actually have a choice to get or not to get an education that is there for them. Yes there are the exceptions of people who have dropped out, but htere are many more examples of people who drop out, get a part time job and never even try to do more for themselves, then expect everyone else to do it for them. this generation or kids are learning this from the parents who just don't want to put forth the effort to parent. You can't be giving anyone advice on how to parent a child.