How Do I Handle Strangers Touching My Baby?

It didn't surprise me that people would walk over and expect to put their grimy hands all over my baby. They couldn't keep their hands off my belly while I was pregnant! Most of the time, a polite "Please don't touch" was sufficient, but there were times I had to tell people that if they enjoyed having 2 hands and 10 fingers, they would be wise to back off immediately! My youngest daughter is 7, and people STILL think it's ok to touch her, just because she's a beautiful child. She has been known to come out with "ewww! Have you washed your hands lately?" as she moves to stand behind me, LOL.

Bottom line: If I don't know you, keep your hands to yourself. I shouldn't have to apologize to rude people who think they have the right to man-handle my kids, just because I have the sense that they lack. THEY should be apologizing to us!!

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I suppose I survived a lot of coochie cooing and fondling by strangers when I was a baby. But then, the worst epidemic was polio.....nothing to take lightly, but it wasn't as pervasive as the kinds of bacterias that have since developed. We are also an expanded population with urban areas more depressed and diseased. Sure, I think feel a lot different today about infants and strangers than my mother did.

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This would be this woman's first child. I'd lay money on it.

By the second or third, she'll relax and realize that people are being kind, babies like being touched and building immunity to germs is a key part of development for infants and toddlers.

We have a tendency to completely overreact when it is our own kid - I mean, really - what horrible diseases are normal folks shopping at the mall going to be carrying around on their hands??

My advice would be not to take your sweetpea out into crowds if you are not comfortable with her being touched. Or wear her in a carrier so that you can go into protective mama-bear mode when the scary, germy strangers approach.

And yes, I have kids. Whose cheeks and heads were touched by strangers and who have lived all the way to tween- and teen-dom to tell the tale . . .

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It's not about being over protective, germ phobic, or just simply a hostile person.... it's completely rude to walk up to someone else's human being and touch it. Not just touch it, but the face, no less. People, you always need to get permission to touch someone's child. Do you walk up to your pharmacist, doctor, grocery check out clerk and stroke their faces? I seriously doubt it. Just because the human is on a smaller scale, doesn't make it less offensive. It doesn't belong to you... get permission!

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No One and I mean no one should ever touch a child without permission. Only fools allow this.

There are pediophiles everywhere and if you don't step up now to protect you child when they can't do it themselves just exactly when will you do it? Pedophiles prey on the little ones who don't know better and parents who are clueless toward this sick behavior.

I don't mind letting people know to back off. It shows my children I don't approve of anyone touching them. And I will protect them with my life. They learn what is right and wrong as far as adults touching children.
It's never right.

And if you get insulted, tuff get over it. Do you like someone coming up to you and touching you?

Then why subject you kids to this poor behavior? And as for other cultures?
YOUR IN AMERICA NOW! GIVE YOUR KIDS THE SAME RESPECT AMERICANS GIVE TO YOUR KIDS!

DO NOT TOUCH CHILDREN'S BODIES!

My kids need to learn no one touches them from me and our society should support and respect parents who send that message.

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My son was born at 28 weeks, and when we took him home two months latter we were given a sign that says Don't touch. I would never touch someones baby after learning about some of the harmless germs we have that premies and other babys with immune issues can't handle. RSV while might only cause us a slight cough for a few days can kill an infant thats a premie. I tried to keep my son at home, but being a single mom I had to take him to get grocerys and even with his little sign I would have to stop people from touching him.

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People, don't know if you read any literature these days..but our children are actually SUFFERING from not being exposed enough to germs. Alergies are actually at an all time high in history because, in part, our kids are not playing outdoors enough, working in a farm environment, and in general are not being exposed daily to enough commone allergens to build up an immunity to them. Someone touching your baby in all likelihood will not make them sick. This is the same baby those will be sucking on it's toes in the same restaurant, and riding around in a car seat that NO ONE ever cleans, that has french fries, down the safety latch that you just cannot get out. The same baby that will be licked by the family dog in the face 1,000 times a week. It's called life. Especially the elderly of our generation, will reach out and touch you kids because that was normal for their generation. They do not think, like us, that anyone touching our child is a potential child molester. If you really hate it, try leaving baby in a carrier with the little sun screen up. In other words, block access to your child. But, really, getting a cold is NORMAL. Having the flu multiple times in a lifetime...ummm...normal. All normal and NECESSARY for your child to develop a healthy immune system. They are supposed to get sick, and get better. These same children will put anything in their mouths as soon as they crawl away from you...dirt, bugs, toys (theirs or anyone else's!!) You cannot be so overprotective. Life is messy! It's ok. It makes for great stories later. Lighen up! All is ok! Baby is gonna be fine!

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When my Kids were babie's I would just simply tell the stranger to please not touch my child as we do not want her to trust strangers, think about it if you allow eveyone to touch and pinch their cheeks then when they are five you have to turn it around and tell them not to go near strangers ! I was not a prude about it.. Elderly People I would thank and be a little more understanding... but for the most part I do not like it, most people don't even wash there hands after they go the bathroom in public and I have seen it !

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What do you do with the proud mother who keeps thrusting her horrid little bundle of poo at you, expecting you coo and purr over the ugly puke machine like she does?

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People don't need to touch strangers children. A few years ago when we were waiting at the pharmacy and my daughter was in her car seat sleeping. A older women kept commenting that I should straighten her head. I informed her that she had just fallen asleep and that she liked to sleep with her head to the side. This women actually reached in the car seat while I was talking to pharmacist and straightened her head! Waking her in the process. So I agree people need to respect others space, as much as I wanted to slap her for touching my child I did respect her space.

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I think it's a shame that people can't stroke a baby's head or cheek without a mom becoming nasty about it. Obviously if the person touching your baby is coughing, sneezing, etc., that is another story. I always welcomed having people interact with my children when they were babies. I loved my kids, and I was thrilled that other people could enjoy them too. There were times that grandparents who had grandchildren who lived far away just enjoyed the sight of a small child, and they got some comfort by interacting with my child while thinking about their grandchildren. Then there were other times that people who had lost children just wanted to come closer and see my baby. No problem. I have lost three children of my own, and I understand. I think the writer of the question and the "Advice Mama" should rethink this one. We need more friendliness in our society. If you really don't want folks touching your child, you might have to limit your time outside of your own home.

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Too funny. I lived in NY when my son was born until he was 2 years old. I always got the homeless person in the subway wanting to touch him. I would simple move him out of the way if I was sitting or smile, move him out of the way and walk away. Babies are irresistible, but to this day I won't ask a new mother (or father) to hold her child. I'll leave it up to her to hand the little bundle of joy over. :)

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You should be in Italy!!!

Babies' cheeks are free for all public property

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I am one of those head touchers I admit it. I also may reach out with a finger and rub an arm as I'm passing by. I will usally smile and say hi sweetie as well. Guilty as charged. I agree with you lubsmama, it may bless someone and make their day by allowing this stuff sometimes.

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My son was born 2 months ago today. He is my first child, so I can understand where New Mom is coming from. I have also found a way the works for me and my son. Whenever I going in to the grocery store where my husband and mom works, I'll have a blanket acting as a sun-shield. Most of the people who work the registers I don't want looking or touching him, so I'll leave the blanket covering him and tell them that he's sleeping. When I see someone who I don't mind touching him, I'll lift the blanket for them. It works every time, and some of the people won't approach me when I have him because I do that. He's still getting to be around germs, I can't prevent that, but I can help to be safe by loving him and watching out for him the way my instincts tell me (which by the way are very well honed for a first time mom). My son is a happy, perfect baby (everyone who meets him tells me so).

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I had one of those stop signs from Synagis shots, given by your Dr to combat RSV. You can read about it here
www.synagis. com/ how-synagis-works. aspx

And maybe for all you who think its okay to touch a baby might change your mind. The germs that might not hurt a normal baby can kill and do major harm to premies and other high risk babies.

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Please have sympathy for those who cannot have children. They were merely paying both you and your child a compliment. If you were concerned with germs in the first place, your baby should have been at home with a baby sitter. Nothing I hate worse than trying to eat in a restaurant with a screaming baby. If you were concerned with your private space- then you should have all been eating at home.

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It takes a village to raise a child. Immunity begins with gentle exposure to the multitudes of new germs always out there--like a vaccination, only social and loving. Kids need to experience friendly people from an early age. Enough said.

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If the lady thinks stroking her child's face is bad, try this.. I had an absolute stranger in a restaurant stop me and try engaging my child in play. After a couple mins of talking, she began to kiss my daughter again and again on her cheek. I really do not know who felt more awkward, me or the large party she was with. Then to top it off, she handed my child a bunch of change to play with as I left.

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