Should My Ex's Fiancee Post Photos of My Daughter on Her Facebook?

Our kids have been taught to never, never, never post photos on the internet- by the school, scouts (boy and girl) and us. When someone posts the childs photo on facebook their freinds of freinds of freinds often see them. They know right where to find that child. Given the statistics, each and everyone of us know or are related to at least 3 potential child molesters if we know 100 people. Kids are not stalked by strangers, they are molested by moms boyfreind or some other person who is a freind or relative of the parent. This isn't about parental rights, it is about child saftey.

as a step father I se nothing wrong with it, I have pictures of my biological kids posted and I love my step daughter just like my biological ones so why would it be any different for her than the other two. Treat them differentky and you will have issues sooner or later

This happened to two members of my family. Relatives put pictures of my grandaughter and my niece's daughter on their respective websites. If you are the custodial person for the child and don't want your child's picture online, Contact facebook or whatever social site they are using and tell them that a picture of your minor child has been posted to whatever account and that you want it removed. They will take it down and if that person posts pictures of that child again, they will be kicked off the site. It is illegal.

I agree Http://www.socialnetworkingtipsandsecrets.info when posting pictures of someone elses children, permission should be given by the parents.

Wow, couple of issues going on here as I see it, As a mother and Step-mother I have posted many pictures of my children and my stepdaughter but anyone who uses Facebook knows there are privacy controls. Second, the fact that this women who posted is a future step-mother and being the fiance of the child's father I would wonder if the actual parents share joint legal custody in which case if the father (and some guys do) use his fiance's facebook also, I would think it's perfectly ok for the pictures of the daughter to be posted as long as the privacy control for either Friends or Friends of Friends. It sounds more like the mother has a small jealousy issue that the father did something before she did. In which case as a parent... who is she really concerned with herself or the child. Maybe instead of voicing her concerns online whereby we are all commenting on her life, Maybe she should have directed the concerns to the father and future step mother and dealt with it privately. It sounds again more like a scorn women who is a bit upset because of a divorce and that the father of the child has moved on with his life. As a parent we should all monitor our children's actions and any actions that concern our child, but as a divorced women, You really should deal directly with the childs father and voice your concerns to him and his fiance not look for self satisfaction from people you don't know here online... Just a thought ~

You people are insane. Unless this child is having her photo tagged with, "This girl's name is Jane Doe, she lives with her mother at 124 Paranoid Lane, and will be at our house on 456 Hysteria Way from 2 to 5 pm on July 3rd, and from 3 to 3:15 pm on July 3rd, we adults will be in the back yard playing loud music while Jane rests inside alone. Oh, and we'll keep the front door unlocked." then this is a non-issue.

My children do things with other children. Sometimes we take their pictures. To suggest that a predator is going to surf through their online friends' photo albums to try to find a kid they like, then hunt them down through Facebook contact information is ludicrous. If you'd like to be paranoid and jump at shadows, at *least* do reality the service of fearing reasonable things: Like someone noticing that you're on vacation and robbing you because you're posting photos from the vacation, or your status says you're on vacation, and your profile includes your physical address. That has actually happened, though it hasn't happened much, but this "stranger danger" overkill has fueled a socially erosive fear that harms our society and doesn't reflect reality.

In real life, strangers don't molest your kids -- trusted friends and relatives do. Years of sensationalist journalism has pushed gullible and weak-minded parents to imprison their own children, and suggesting that something as harmless as posting pictures of your family on your Facebook pages is some ghastly threat to your safety sickens and saddens me.

The children of your fiance are part of your family. Posting pictures of your family to Facebook doesn't make you some mindless menace. It makes you normal.

Quit hiding in the shadows. Just because you hang out online in places where fellow voluntary shut-ins dwell doesn't mean you're right. It simply means you've found people as woefully wrong as you are.

Would you have been as offended if your husband had put them on his face book page?

Bellerd - EXACTLY! Americans have been whipped into a stupid frenzy of paranoia when it comes to anything about children these days. This woman is clearly jealous of her ex-husband's relationship and is grasping at some ridiculous straw to demonize her with. How is having a child's photo on Facebook any more dangerous than letting the child play in a park where anyone can see him/her? Obviously playing outside is far more "dangerous" because the child themselves is right there. Not some mysterious photo on a website with no contact information. Yet parents let children run around and play outside, while they freak out about a photo online. How crazy is that?

I have a very blended family. I have a step daughter and a son. My son spends about 1/2 with me and 1/2 the time with his bio dad, and the same schedule for my step daughter with her bio mom. My children (yes i call them "my children" because I raise them and love them equally) are extrememly close and are only 6 months apart and have been together since they were infants. I have a network page and have pictures of my WHOLE family on there. It wouldn't be complete if my step daughter couldn't be on the family pages. Both of my kids are also on their other parents pages and other step parents pages. I believe it is truely a way to understand and respect the relationship my child have with each parent in their life. we often look at the other parents pages together to see the pictures they updated while they were visiting with the rest of their family, and they love telling me what they were doing when the picture was taken. It has helped to encourage the support and love. My children feel so free to express themselves and share the happy times they have with both sets of parents. They would feel so left out if they couldn't be on the "family page" if one of the parents opposed. Honestly I would't listen if they asked me to remove them, expecially if my husband approved of it (which he does). I completely respect a parents view point about being protective of their children, but there are precautions that can be taken. Additionally, raising a child in a split household requires that each bio parent trusts the judgement of the other parent. meaning i have to trust that my ex has made a good choice in a wife that will love and take care of my son as best as possible and be aware of the safty precations. To respond to the initial post...i think this mom is jealous, sounds like she is snooping around behind everyones back fueling her jealousy. She definetly has the right to speak to ex about being careful, but i think she is looking for an arguement, hoping she will win to trump the new fiance in an atempt to "put her in her place" so to speak. mom needs to realize that is only detrimental to her child. the child will eventually resent he mom for hating the step-mom, if the child has bonded with the step mom.

Not is only is it unnerving to see that another adult has posted a picture of your child without your permission, but along with facebook pictures quite often comes captions. I had a similar situation and there was an inaccurate and inappropriate caption along with my childs picture.

It sounds to us like the Father has been rail roaded out of his own childs life by this ex-wife person. He needs to get custody of his child right away before his child is exploited again by this so called mom.

Brava! Well said!

What the true problem here is if you post pics of your kids online its ok but the soon tobe stepmother she's not allowed to do anything. HMMM sounds like your not over your ex and your in the 5 year plan and cant move on. But you will say you've moved on but FALSE! Listen kids have to adjust more than you do so get over the pics of your child on his soon to be wife. Really there is bigger issues and toget an attorney involved is the stupidest idea or maybe you can throw CSE into the mix too! Why not its just kids and we all can hide behind the fact that the true problem is you dont want to share your kids. Whats going to happen when you meet a man with his kids act like they dont exist? Never take a picture and put it on facebook. Come on! Ive written a book to help the Stepmothers and fathers dealing with Custody issues and divorce with dysfunctional court systems. Stepmothers can be a huge help for the ex mothers to move on because the kids will need lots of support and not another enemy. Look for STUPID GUY IN THE MIDWEST on facebook. Its been nominated for the book of the year on the Oprah show. Comes out soon.

To joeobryan: It's not about issues it's about the fact that this woman probably has friends that the mom doesn't know and therefore doesn't feel comfortable seeing pictures it's not necessarily that she has issues...

I agree completely with your comment. While the woman who posted the picture is the fiance of the child's father, she is not yet family. It is my personal view that the biological parents are the only ones to decide whether it's appropriate to post the child's picture. Frankly, with the large number of pedophiles who exist in our neighborhoods today (and there's a website available which can pinpoint them by address), I feel it's unwise to post ANY minor child's photo online. My husband found out his childrens' schools posted the photos of all students. He had a royal hissy fit because he was not consulted by the school before it was done (and he strongly objects to the practice!).