Have We Become Too Casual? Why I Dress My Kids Up for Church

I was a contemporary music ministry leader for a church I previously attended. We all wore jeans, shorts, t-shirts, etc. Whatever was comfortable. We invited everyone to come and join in worship. We intentionally made it a "comfortable" atmosphere because there are people who can't afford "Sunday best" clothes or find a "traditional" setting intimidating. As our service became known, we soon grew to have more people attend the contemporary service than the traditional. God was blessing us, no matter what we wore or what kind of music we played. God just wants us to give Him our all....it doesn't matter what we wear.

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As long as you give up some cash,the church really does not give a damn what you wear

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I think we do have a responsibility to be dressed in a way that does not distract. We gather in the church to corporately worship and magnify God. As a worship leadder I learned this one Sunday morning when I came to church and my cleavage was okay for my taste, but when I went to do Praise and Worship, I noticed that the attention was not on the song I was singing but on my outfit. We don't want to be hinderances to others. We must be mindful that we, the saints of God, are an example and we have to keep ourselves in a way that we don't offend anyone. Now I know you cannot please all the people all the time, but we should make every effort to dress modestly. If your cleavage is too low for most, next week wear it a little higher. If your bottom half appears too tight or too short, adjust it. We can dress appropriately without feeling like we are losing our own sense of style to please others. The ultimate question is what would Jesus say?

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First to Glorious - thank you for respecting our God and wanting to please Him and teaching your children to respect GOD.
Comment for Kari - please do not take scripture out of context. "What happened to Thall shall not judge!" Scripture tells us to judge other belivers in the spirit. If you are not one of God's chosen then you can not judge other believers in the Spirit. Not showing God our respect is a sin. How can you not want to dress your best for the one who created you, saves you from Satan. Repent before our Lord and Savior! Stop thinking about yourselves (I don't want or have time to dress nice for my Lord). It's not about you, it is about GOD and he deserves our best in everything, everyday. God is glorified when we acknowledge him, obey Him and do our best for HIM. He will judge you on your excuses and when every knee will bow you will think about how you did not dress your best for church! If you slack off on dressing for church are you slacking off in your obedience to Him???? Repent now and give your best to the one and only GOD, because he is GOD!!

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Anyone who is dressing up to impress God or the other people in church is dressing up for the wrong reason. I may not wear a suit and tie, but I wear the nicest clothes I have on Sunday Out of respect for God who created us, who gave His life for us, who overcame death and the devil for us, who ascended back to heaven for us and who will come again to judge the living and the dead. " For by GRACE you have been SAVED THROUGH FAITH. This is NOT YOUR OWN DOING lest any man should boast." (Eph 2:8-9)

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I come from what I refer to as the "fur bearing- church"
YES! I was raised Protestant. It amused me to see all the woman in our church show up in their fur coats. It was a fashion show. My family had attended that church since my grandparents brought my dad as a young boy.
When I was 15 or 16 I talked to my dad about wanting to go to a different church. My father was shocked- This is "OUR FAMILY CHURCH" I went to church with a friend's family, it was a non denominational church with a minister who was AMAZING!
When I got back home, my dad asked me what I thought about it.
I was so excited and willing to share my first impressions of the church. Not only was the minister dynamic, but it had a much younger congregation being so close to a major University. As I found out later they had a very good youth program. He was extremely impressed after attending service on Sunday and arranging a meeting with the minister. It was hard for my dad to walk away from the family church.
I would rather see people in jeans and a T-shirt who are there for the right reason versus to show off their new fur coat.

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Why we started dressing for church is so that we'll look good if we happen to run into Emperor Constantine! Chances for that are not high these days, but originally that was the reason. Constantine and other heavy hitters had a habit of popping up in several of the church buildings he paid for. And when big cathedrals sprang up much later, the impetus to dress up grew further. Fancy church buildings were the one place that royalty mixed with commoners. Cathedrals, such as those at St. Denis, attracted royalty from all over, and it simply wouldn't do to bump into a prince or contessa in your grubby work clothes.
I do dress casual in church, but I don't wear what I am going to wear while playing in my yard. I dress my kids in shorts in the summer, but limit what shirt they can wear with it. The same way I don't go to a store, eatery, or anywhere in my grubby's, but will clean up since I am in public. God is all around, as long as we are there to praise I don't think it should matter what we wear as long as we are being true to ourselves. I am not going to fake a jacket and tie, since that is not true to me, plus I live in the south, jacket and ties are unheard of. There are cowboy church's around here, jeans, boots and hats (outside) are the norm, since that is who they are. I think its fine if you dress and comfortable, but not to judge those who don't and vice versa.

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to me it all comes down to respect. not only respect for others, but, respect for yourself.
sure, you can go to church or synagogue looking however you wish. but, like another poster said...if you were meeting the president, would you dress like a slob? why? because (hopefully) like him or not, he is a person in a respectable position.
a church or synagogue is no different, in my opinion. it is a place of respect.
now, i'm not saying you have to dress to the nines....but, at least go there looking halfway decent. and by that i mean not in torn, dirty clothing.
when you look nice, you get respect. it may sound corny...but, you don't get a second chance to make a first impression. people, fairly or not, judge someone by the way they present themselves.
and if you don't respect yourself, others won't respect you either.

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It is all about respect. God gave you life. You should be grateful. God has a tough go of it these days, what with all the heathens and non-believers and all of the other religions in the world. Respect is the one thing missing in our lives. All of us have this issue one way or another. Most of us do as we please because we 'want' to, regardless of how it affects others around us. There's something seriously amiss with the human race lately. We've lost touch with our spirituality. Materialism has taken over most of us. Personally, I wish for more simplicity in life and in society. One can control one's surroundings only so much. Be nicer, smile more often, say 'please' and 'thank you', do something nice for someone, try to make peace with someone you don't like, offer to listen, don't offer your advice. A little thing goes a long way. You'd be surprised how much better you feel about yourself. What goes around, comes around. Learn the Ten Commandments and practice them. Live by The Golden Rule.

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You know what bothers me as I read these comments is ... will any of us be "dressed to the nines" when we reach heaven, and will that be a condition of getting in? I can just hear it now: "Yes Lara, I see here that you were saved at age 16, you're a believer and your name's written in the Lamb's Book of Life, but I'm sorry. You're not dressed properly so we can't let you in."

I'm sorry but I don't think we take dressy clothes with us when we die. What we DO take is our heart/soul. Now tell me what God is more interested in?

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Yes, God loves you no matter what. However, honor Him by appearing at your best and honor your friends for the same reason. We are much, much too sloppy in our appearance when we are out in public - whatever the reason. Have a little dignity. It doesn't take money, it takes a look in the mirror.

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I TOTALLY AGREE!!
That is what's wrong with society. . . . . we have forgotten what got us where we are at! It's called RESPECT. We definately need to RESPECT someone that has died on the cross for our sins. He loved us that much!
Thank you so much for your article! It's so true!!

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I agree. I haven't attended a formal church regularly in quite some time (I just graduated from a Christian university with a three day a week chapel requirement), but when I do go, I just go in jeans and a shirt. Both of which are clean, in my own defense. I know it's supposed to be a sign of respect for God or whatever to dress up, but if that's respect, if you ask me, it's pretty darn superficial. The ultimate way I show respect for God is in the way I treat people, in the kindness and compassion I show to them.

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Thank you a wonderful article. Why dress up? It is a sign of respect and you are honoring God. People wouldn't go to a dance or a wedding without the proper attire so why is it different when going to church? My gosh! It is most of the times only for an hour. Thank you.

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A quick glance around your church or synagogue and you'll notice that the majority of kids are sporting t-shirts, shorts and Crocs more fitting of a day at the park than an hour in God's house. It's not at all unusual to see kids looking like they just rolled out of bed with uncombed, tangled hair. Equally common are the teens in revealing tank tops and ill-fitting hip huggers that expose thong straps every time they kneel.
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I agree totally that we as a society have not only dumbed down mentally, but we dress down too. We have a Spanish congregation that meets at our church & they remind me of the days back when I was a child. They're not as wealthy as we are, yet they manage to look like they're going for job interviews every Sunday. We've become a nation of slackers. Maybe that's why we're losing our country, we don't appreciate the things God has given us, least of all by honoring Him when we come before Him just like we come before everything else. It's not that we worship other gods, we just take Him down to the base level we take everything else down to. Saying God "doesn't really care" when He has made so much beauty is to really not know the heart of God. He knows the numbers of hairs on our heads. We are supposed to be the Temple of the living God! Everything has a sameness to it because we dress the same everywhere we go and even give up traditions like the organ playing at sports events because people whine that they want to hear the same music as they hear everywhere else they go. We may not wear Chanel gowns, but we should still give God the best we have.

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I totally agree that dressing up for Church is a way of saying that you are going to God's house for dinner and when going to someone's home we always dressed in our best clothes. I had 4 children that I dressed for Church every Sunday. I laid out their clothes and never got an argument. Of course my children are now in their 50's but I hate seeing people in Church with no socks, sloppy jeans and flip-flops. All respect has gone down the drain and until we get it back the world will go down the drain with it.

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I think some of you are missing the point of the article. Glorious made a good statement that I think most follow. "...weddings, funerals, job interviews, and church", accept the point Mrs. Campos-Duffy makes is that too many people leave off the "and church" part. And, yes, alot has to do with the fast pace of the modern times. But it also has to do with the lack of importance the parents place on church. Regardless of your religion, church is a place to show reverence and worship to the Lord who gives us all we have. How much more should we at least pay attention to the way we present ourselves to Him then..say... a dead body in a casket who is to busy enjoying the presense of our good Lord then worrying about the three piece suit your more than likely going to wear.

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