Mom Gets Jail Time for Berating Ex-Husband to Kids

That is HORRIBLE! I think your husband should've pressed charged on her. He should at least write a letter explaining himself and the horrible things that went on. It would make him feel better and his son will finally realize who the monster is in that relationship. I don't believe in berating the ex to the kids, but now that he's older and able to understand, it should definitely be brought out in the open once and for all!

I'm sorry that happened to your Husband and his Son. Now that he is an adult I think your Husband should make an effort to tell him the truth about what happened. He should know. Knowing what a jerk my Dad was to my Mom doesn't make me love him any less as a father. It makes me pity my stepmother.

the judges here in las vegas would never do a thing to punish her. that judge has some balls not at all like the family court crap here in las vegas.

Kids are not stupid and tho it may take time the son will eventually see mom for what she is. Frankly, your husband made the biggest mistake...he should not have agreed to the move. We have a family friend that married a gal that was divorced with children. Our friend in military and I think that everyone knows that the military move a lot, well dad went to court when it came time for our friend to move to another duty station. Mom and kids stay in home state and our friend does move. Strange to say that the marriage is strong and the kids...well they think bio dad is a jerk. They are now in early teens and are refusing to spend much time with him unless forced.

he's no longer a kid, he's a college dropout and will use this father thing as an excuse.

Your husband might as well try to get a judge who could see things like this intelligent judge did in this story. I know there are many dead-beat dads, but there are also many vindictive mothers who will do anything to get back at their ex. They do not consider what it is doing to the children. In any situation like this, the good of the children should be both parents' first concern.
I am 80 yrs old and divorced my son's father when I was only 45.
I told my son that our problems were our problems and had nothing to do with him. Also told him that his dad would always be his dad and that he should stay in touch with him. My ex felt our son had to chose sides and since my son and I remained close, his dad has never had anything to do with his son. I told my son it is his father's loss, not his or mine and not to worry about it.
I still insist he send his father cards for fathers day and birthday and call him once in awhile. Usually his father is too busy to talk with him and cuts it off short. Such a shame. It is the only child that either his father or I have.
His father and I both have remarried and now my son considers my present husband, who is a gem, his real father.
Parents will live to regret their decisions when it is too late.

im sorry, im not saying she is in the right by any means but come on, its only four hours away, why wouldnt he make the trip to file visitation? he just sat back and allowed her to do this so in my opnion he is also guilty

I have seen the responses and comments regarding my husband's situation with his son and his ex-wife. It's not just them that this whole vindictive, poorly-thought-through situation affects. I have shed thousands of tears over my husband's son. No, he's not a kid anymore (but to differentiate between him and my husband, it's easier to call him 'the kid' though that does sort of lick of my frustration and hurt I feel as a result of this situation) but the fact is, my husband is heartbroken to a point where he can't even discuss it.

I have no children, this 'son' was to be the son I never had, and during the first eight years or so, it really was wonderful. We got along great, whenever we spent time together, times that were few and far between due to his mother's spitefulness and vindictiveness, but whenever we were all together, we did fun things and always had a great time, always getting along so well. Even when he and I were together, one-on-one while my husband was at work, we got along just great.

My parents accepted him without question, treated him as an equal to my brother's two kids, blood-related grandchildren, and he got anything they got, Christmas gifts, birthday gifts, etc. He never understood that they didn't HAVE to, they did because they love me, they love my husband, and they LOVED HIM. He just expected it.

Now, they have no use for him, due to his shortsightedness and selfishness. They want to remove his picture from the 'grandchildren' section on the wall. They threw in the towel when he sent them a FORM LETTER, asking them for money so he can go on a trip to Mexico with his friends. But never ONCE sent them a Christmas card, anniversary card, birthday card, EVER. But he knew their address when HE wanted MONEY from them. Sure, they could've sent a few bucks, but it was the principal of the thing. My husband was mortified when he found out about the form letter, and a few days later we received one, too. I threw it away.

Now, the 'kid' is emancipated. He's going to be 22 next month, he'd dropped out of college, and the courts are done with this mess. After 3 1/2 years of college, the kid doesn't even have enough credits for an associates degree. He totally goofed off, losing all of his scholarships, his education was FULLY paid. He blew it. The ex blamed his emotional state on his 'dissatisfaction with his relationship with his father,' something she claims he went to counseling for. Amazing. There was NEVER an issue. EVER. All of a sudden, he's in COUNSELING???

Short of trying to reach out to his son, which my husband has tried repeatedly--he just got sick and tired of leaving voicemails for him that were never returned--we can only hope that someday, my husband's son will come to his senses, realize that my husband is not the monster that his mother made him out to be, this kid's mother, the one HER SON said was IMPOSSIBLE to live with, the one HER SON said was a hypocrite, the one HER SON was afraid of. This woman twisted her son's mind to the point that we can't even find out from him what went wrong.

Thank you for offering advice, those of you who did, but now, it's just a matter of hoping for a change of heart on the part of my husband's son. Maybe someday we can pick up the pieces and move forward. Sadly, my husband's ex has NO IDEA how badly she hurt us, both of us, and even my parents with her actions. Karma...

And an aside to J01: To facilitate visitation,my husband ALWAYS drove the 4 hours BOTH WAYS to have visitation with his son. Four hours out, 4 hours back, and then a week later, 4 out and 4 back to return his son to his mother. The mother NEVERRRRRR drove to allow her son visitation with his father. NEVER. It wasn't a matter of driving the 4 hours to appear in court. It was the money. We were unfamiliar with the court system in that state, I downloaded the pro se packet for that county, and attempted to file a motion with the courts to reconsider the visitation. The court sent the papers back saying they were incorrect, and certainly, after laying out well over $600 a month for child support--as well as our own living expenses, we simply could not afford an attorney to handle it for us. An attorney that we contacted wanted over $6500 just to step foot in the courtroom for an out-of-state visitation case. So, to respond to your 'it was only 4 hours' comment, it wasn't for a lack of will, or a lack of trying. Now you know the whole story.

i find it very funny that through out the tirade about your husbands issue (not yours) you refer to their child as HER SON....you are complainging about what she does with HER son....

Funny i refer to the children as either the children. ofr our children but you refer to them as HER children...as far as your comment about this particular son was going to be "your son" that you didnt have...well that would never have come to be...the child has a mother....and you cant replace a parent...you may fill a new role in the childs life but you will never BE HIS MOTHER...and as a full custodial parent due to the other parent not wishing to be involved with the children since a remarriage nearly 3 years ago....

I have been brought to court with attempts of ammending the agreement that we made out prior to finding out which of us would have full physical custody....I placed the needs of the children first, where as my former spouse opted to find a "new family" and complains to the court that the child support shoul dbe less than the NY state minimum for the number of children based upon the income of the non custodial parent be changed because all of a sudden the new spouse has opted to leave the employment that supported both she and her own child....

I recieve numerous nsnarky messages on public websites that go on and on about how how proud she is that she never accepted child support for her son....welll since she wasnt married at the time perhaps it was becasue there was a possibility the childs parentage was not 100%...and it isnt he right of the parent for childsupport it is the right of the children....support and visitation are supposed to be for the betterment of the CHILDREN


If you feel that your husband who was agreeable to the child moving with his mother to another state had no issues with the fact that he would have to go there what is the BEE in YOur bonnet about??? if HE wanted a relationship with his son he would have one..... and as i said since you keep refering to the child as HER SON...perhaps it is due to your attitude that your husband decided that he shouldnt make the 4 hour trip!!!

Your husband's ex sounds like my husband's ex. Fortunately, we did get custody of his son when he was 13 because she had so many problems. We were taking her to court for violating visitation agreements and doing the same kinds of things this woman was doing. She had a drug problem, she was being evicted, she never kept a job and her current husband had walked out on her, so she gave up some of the kids she had had by different Dads. We pushed until she signed papers giving us legal custody and agreeing to pay child support when she got a job (which she never did). She still did everything she could to try to cause trouble, like making harrassing phone calls, right up to the day she died of a drug overdose. I don't know why some women have to be so hateful and mean. All my husband and I ever wanted was to just get along with her and live in peace.

That's right, red, HE IS *HER* CHILD, something I've never disputed or doubted in any way. If I didn't get along so well with my husband's son, the circumstances would've been very different, I'm sure. I would never overstep my bounds as a 'step-mother' to my husband's son by calling him MINE. But it was nice having a family while it lasted.

As for my husband having 'no problem' with his son moving 4 hours away, maybe I didn't 'tirade' enough about that. He was very much against it, but being they'd lived in one of the most expensive places in the USA (Bergen Co, NJ, google it if you don't believe me) his child support payments were ridiculous, and even though she was working, she claimed she couldn't afford to live there anymore. She needed to move away to be with her family, live with her folks, until she could get on her feet. So she said. My husband knew that if she stayed in NJ, that his son might have to do without stuff he might need in the interest of her paying the rent. So he did what he thought would be best for his son's well-being, even if he knew it would be difficult to spend as much time with him as before. It was purely for unselfish reasons he signed that paper allowing her to take his son out of state. And it was NOT an easy decision.

As for the ride, I went with him EVERY SINGLE TIME, so he wouldn't have to make the drive alone, either before or after he picked up or dropped off his son. There has never been a 'bee in MY bonnet regarding the 4 hour ride. It was always in the interest of seeing his son, and helping my husband deal with the drive to GET to see his son.

Spare me your armchair head-candling, really, though your input is appreciated, you obviously don't see the ex as the manipulative, trouble-making, vindictive b!tch she is. Sorry to waste 5 minutes (or more) of your life. You didn't have to read my comments, and you didn't have to comment, either.

The bestter and more constructive solution is to remove the children from the alienating parent and only allow supervised visitation..until the brainwashing can be deprogrammed.
THEN Therapy for the alienating parents and children.

I know just the type of woman that French is dealing with. My ex AKA Satan has hiden my boys from me for 9 years. I would go to court when she would drag me there over and over for more and more money! Sound familiar Guys Stepmoms? I would ask each time going to court about my boys and if anyone ever goes to court for these issues knows nothing is solved over night nor do the courts care what a man has to say or do! I was told by attorneys to forget the boys. Well thats pretty hard to do but you have to for awhile until the boys are older. Yes you continue to try to contact them but keep records so when the time that you do contact the boys they can see you never forgot like in my case Satan would tell the boys over and over and say I never paid child support! These woman can LIE over and over to the point that you as a man can go to jail and CSE isnt much help either for the man they can do a false investigation on you and give that to the judge and then you can be convicted on false info pretty sad. And thats what has happened in my case and much more. MY ex told the last son he isnt mine but failed to inform CSE of this and now the son looks just like daddy not me and Im paying! What a system. DNA was done also and I told the courts in 2000 that no way was the last boy mine and his DNA took an extra 2 months to process. That put red flags up in my kids attorney and the daddy was a member of OH supreme court. Thanks to John Edwards we all see like I said then that the DNA can be switched. My book has been nominated for the Oprah show. LOOK IT UP ON FACEBOOK STUPID GUY IN THE MIDWEST coming out very soon. I wrote this to help Stepmothers and fathers win not loose like we have been doing for years.

There will be a rally in DC July 23-25 for Child Support Reform, google this... Petition for Child Support Reform for details. be there or be square.

the Rev.