If she doesn't make them behave, then you do it .It is your home!!!

The other option is to establish a few guidelines when your sister and her children arrive. Sit down and let the gang know how excited you are about their visit, and that you've set up some routines to make sure you all have fun. By letting everyone clearly know your expectations up front, there's a better chance they'll follow the game plan.My boyfriend thinks the same with me. He is eight years older than me, lol. We met online at agegaplove.com a nice and free place for younger women and older men, or older women and younger men, to interact with each other. Maybe you wanna check out or tell your friends.

We had a similar problem with our daughter throwing tantrums and hitting her brother...not good times at all, LOL. We got past it though, thankfully. A girlfriend of mine recommended this parenting program, Http://cli.gs/parentingpotential It was a lifesaver for us. Check it out if you have behavioral problems with your child.

I agree in most parts with "Me". You're certainly under no obligation to invite your sister and her ill-behaved children to come and stay 10 DAYS with you! (Apparently your sister hasn't heard the old adage: "After 3 days, fish and houseguests begin to stink.") And if you DO extend such an invitation, you're not required to let her kids turn said visit into a living Hell. It's your house. If the kids are misbehaving, you have every right to call them out about it, and if your sister objects, tell her exactly what the problem is and how you intend to enforce it. Then STICK TO IT!

Having said that, it's a VERY good idea to discuss this with your sister (as it apparently is not a "one time thing"), and let her know that if it continues to happen, you're going to have to curtail subsequent visits that include the kids. If she "disagrees" with this, simply stop inviting her to visit. If she brings it up after the invites cease, tell her you're very sorry, but her kids take all of YOUR enjoyment from her visits away. You might also include a PERSONAL invitation to her, sans kids, for a visit. If she still can't comprehend the problem, only you have the power to end it! Relationships are "give and take", and you shouldn't always be the one who has to compromise your sanity.

I was always told....(by my Mom) that if you had kids.....no one would want you around because of them........She was'nt kidding. I NEVER had a date or friends because of my kids. I also NEVER went anywhere without kids. I did'nt have no adults to "hang" with. My kids were very polite etc. No matter what we did, it did'nt work. Thanks to my Mother.....I wish I NEVER had kids.

You are one hundred percent right. I actually invited my cousin and her two kids to come and live with me. She and I have complete parenting ideas. What makes the whole situation hard is that both of her kids have ADHD. Talk about driving someone up the wall......I have been uphappy for a while but with the summer here we sent them off to their grandparents. YAAAAYYYY. But they will be back before school starts. I love my family, but sometimes they can drive me crazy. I just take it all day by day.

10 days is a long time with badly behaved kids. So is 10 minutes. Its a tough one, but the idea of a very few basic rules is a good one. I'm just not sure when to bring it up, if she plays it by ear she may not get a chance. Maybe she should speak to her sister a few days or weeks ahead of time.

Try to get them involved in backyard activities! You should join in the fun! Http://www.backyardactivitiesguide.info

yes, I would expect sitting down and telling the children what is expected would help... Kids will respect limits if they are given.. first, sitting down with the sister before and letting her know the rules should make it even better as she can tell her children that there will be rules to follow at auntie's and auntie will expect them to follow these rules. If you expect nothing from the children or sister, you will get nothing...

We had a similar problem with our daughter throwing tantrums and hitting her brother...not good times at all, LOL. We got past it though, thankfully. A girlfriend of mine recommended this parenting program, Http://tiny.cc/parentingpotential
It was a lifesaver for us. Check it out if you have behavioral problems with your child.

I agree with you Me. The letter to the advice columnist was quite short; for instance, it doesn't say if this woman has children of her own, how many children her visiting sister has, etc. It's amazing how many people think their kids are angels and everyone else's are terrible. My question is, why would the sister with the kids even want to come and visit? Geez, if you can't put up with your sister's kids for 10 lousy days a year just because their table manners aren't up to your standards or you think they're too messy, maybe you're the one who needs help! She is your sister after all. Maybe you should concentrate on giving her a little help instead of complaining. You sound like a real pain in the ass to me and someone I would not want to visit.

who cares!!! My boyfriend thinks the same with me. He is eight years older than me, lol. We met online at agegaplove.com a nice and free place for younger women and older men, or older women and younger men, to interact with each other. Maybe you wanna check out or tell your friends.

The article doesn't say how old the kids are. When my kids were small, but not too small (4-10) I had a friend who's kids ages were the same as mine. They were wild! She lived with me for a while because she had separated from her husband. I spoke with my children and explained them. We were living together, but my well mannered kids tried to avoid confrontations. Once in a while they clashed, but I told the mother to check on them. Sometimes she had the audacity to get mad at us! Her kids turned out to be pretty bad. None of them finished high school. One, high in marijuana, ended up in a psychiatric hospitals. The others with kids and no jobs. Sad story, but I actually dealt with this situation.

Anyone with kids who plans a ten day visit with anyone, is overstepping. It's just not fair. I have limited space and because I'm an artist, that space is full of work in progress. I make it clear to anyone with kids that I'm so sorry, but my "studio" isn't safe for children. End of issue.

But there's another issue with AOL ... They are creating sneaky "profiles" when you sign into any of these message boards. Click onto your name here and see.

Warning: There is a hyperlink under your name on this comment board. Click on your name and see.

That profile was created the first time you signed on to ANY comment board on AOL ... and there are almost a hundred of them, including this one. It's linked to your EMail address . Permanently.

Now look at the archives of EVERY comment you've ever made, right there on your profile. To be seen by anyone who clicks onto it.

AOL never even warned you a "profile" was being made. Only that your comment had been "verified". AOL apparently thinks "verify" or "confirm" means "set up unauthorized profile". Sneaky sneaky

Oh yes. If you have an unusual name, your profile may be picked up by Google Search and you'll be all over the World Wide Web as an independent link. Instant fame?

We don't care about a single comment being picked up. We DO care about an archive.

Nasty Nasty ....

AOL .. play fair.

* Drop the practice of setting up unauthorized profiles
* Want to keep those profiles. Then INFORM us when we first post.
* Set the preference to "Private" by DEFAULT
* Remove "Profiles" from Google Search

Good Advise. Not inviting is much better than moving from one's home

To Shea: ADHD is an overused, lame excuse that parents use when they have unruly, untrained, obnoxious children. It is THEIR fault that they haven't taught their kids manners, boundaries, and consequences ("time out" teaches nothing), etc. If a kid is hyperactive and out of control, the parents must show them from a very early age that their bad behavior will NOT be tolerated. And back it up with discipline if they continue to ignore their parents' rules and expectations.

To the original writer, who has a sister with obnoxious kids ("handful" doesn't come close to the truth, from the sound of it), tell your sister that she'll have to stay at a local motel or hotel and what times/hours she can come to your house with the brats. If the kids get out of line in YOUR house, then YOU discipline them because your sister apparently has never said 'no' to them in their lives. And yes, tell your sister the unvarnished truth about why her kids cannot possibly stay in your house for two days, much less ten! She has rotten kids and needs to be told that's why no one wants to be around them ... including you.

That could work!!! :o)

Bob, you might think your smartass comment if funny but actually it's in EXTREMLY poor taste. There are actually sick enough people out there who really DO these things. Are you one of them? Next time you want to be a comedian, go stand on a street corner and find a soapbox, Trying to be funny by telling people to abuse children is NOT appropriate especially in this day and age when every day we read about this happening for real in the news. Go grow up, you probably behave just as badly as the kids coming to visit this woman.