Help! My Sister's Wild Kids Are Coming to Visit!

I have the same exact problem. My husband's sister has four younger children. I have two teenage children. I am not use to being around all the noise and activity that four young one's bring with them. If you have some Xanax I suggest that could help you get through this terrible family time, otherwise never ever extend invites even if it hurts feelings. If you aren't use to small children around it's terrible. Don't do it is my advice.

Reply

Oh, please! Do you really think the behavior of those children will change just by your making simple guidelines? Get real. You are going to spend 10 days policing these children, keeping them in tow and gently reminding them of your rules. And you will be angry and gritting your teeth the whole time. Do you want to spend 10 days disciplining someone else's children in your own house? If the family unit is important to you, maybe cut the entire visit back to 5 days or one week. Or, if you want to keep it 10 days, then send all of the kids to camp for 5 days and take that time to reconnect with your sister. I will bet she could use the break.

Reply

Sorry AdviceMama. I seriously think you have crap for brains. Either that or you've never been around an out-of-control child.

There could be more of a rift formed in the adult's relationship after 10 days of hell then if the one "put upon" sister just said NO.

Reply

I've had this problem with my God-sister's children. When they visit my home I sit down with them on the first day and remind them of the rules in MY house. Every place you go in life has rules, some places' rules are different. I remind them that only when we all do what we're supposed to, do we have fun. I make sure to be very clear about where we are going, what we are doing, and what I expect from them... as well as what they can expect in return. I imagine it is very exciting for them to visit, and can understand how they could so easily get out of control. It takes some repeating when they're not acting up for them to catch on to MY rules, but after the second day they usually have a good handle on good behavior.

Reply

Other peoples' kids need to told, as well as the other people, it is your house. This is the way we do it here. Your sister hasn't been able or willing to lay down any laws, some people think it will hurt their "free spirit". You especially need to tell her, before the visit starts, matter of factly, this is my house, and we do things my way. You need her to understand that she is responsible for their behavior, and for her to tell them before they darken your door.

Reply

Gosh, while reading the post, I thought the Angela Ordorff kids>

Reply

Chuck them into the nearest largest body of water in the name of "teaching them to swim".

Reply

Sounds like the sister is relying on the "single parent" excuse for let her kids run wild. Your house, your rules. If they going to behave like yard apes, then tell your sister to stay home with the little monsters.

Reply

How old are these little minions? If they are 1, 2, 3 and 4, you can forget that ridiculous little oil analogy. And if they are older than 8, you can forget it, too. Families and machines and oil and sh*t. What kind of useful advice is that? I must also point out that if the goal is to hurt your sister's feelings and prevent the little delinquents from ever visiting again, just you go ahead and tell Sis, in advance, you are dreading the visit and try to think up special rules for her kids. Trust me, there is NO WAY to kindly tell someone their children are heathens with no distinguishable trace of upbringing!

Hmmm. Let's ask a few questions and see if we can't come up with something better than AdviceMama's lame ass advice. Why does the clan come to visit you for 10 days each summer? Do you live near the beach? Are you close to your sister? What gives? There has to be a reason your house is ground zero for these little cyclones EVERY summer. Why is this important, you wonder? One of the things to remember is to keep the kids B U S Y! Don't live near the beach? Set up a slip 'n slide in the backyard. Is there a park nearby? Make plans to survive, not dig out that old bottle of tranquilizers and put another bottle (or two) of vodka on ice! Keeping them busy will occupy their minds, hands and most importantly, wear their little butts out!

Now, on to house rules! Let the kids know you have noticed how fast they are growing up, and give them responsibilities. Is Billy the oldest? Put him in charge of keeping things going smoothly on the slip 'n slide. Does Suzie like to be in the kitchen? Make her, oops! Let her help with dinner, even if it's only small things like tossing salad or putting bread in the oven. And it's perfectly okay to say, after dinner, everybody has to put their own dishes in the sink and help clear the table. Don't expect them to like it. Hell, I'm 50, and I don't like clearing the table, neither! And when everybody puts their dishes away and the table is cleared, spend some fun time with the kids. Find out who they are. You know, there is more to your nieces and nephews than burping, farting, yelling and general slacking off! You may have to dig to find it, but it's there!

Besides, who says you and sis can't have a nice dinner for two on the patio or the sun room, while the little monsters eat at the table or out on the picnic table. Don't you want to have some conversation with her while you're enjoying dinner, instead of secretly hoping the whole damn bunch conks out early? Again. A couple of nights should be set aside like this for adults.

Finally, on to the biggest elephant in the room! YOU. Oh, yes I did say it, too! You. The control freak. Whaaa...? Oh, shut it, sister. When you say your sister lets HER kids get away with everything, what you mean is she lets her kids get away with everything YOU wouldn't. Try as you might, you can't make your sister raise her children the way you think she should. Maybe the kids ARE hell on wheels, but what else do you see? Is Marty, the kid with the loudest mouth, kind and helpful? Is Jeannie, the shy but smart one, (Although her intellectual potential isn't obvious. Yet.) left out because she doesn't try to outdo the rest of the kids? And finally, make this the last year for a 10-day sentence. That's a long damn time for anybody to visit. And please consider having the children come for a visit during the summer, one at a time for a week, or maybe the oldest ones for a week each. This will help your sister out tremendously and give your family a chance to bond with your nieces and nephews without being overwhelmed. You never, NEVER, know what the influence of a special uncle or aunt might mean to your children somewhere down the road.

Reply

Hey It's your home and your sister. Take your sister a said. And make your house rules very clear. It is about time you did. Do it in the most sisterly fashion.

Reply

I told my brother and sister that if I take care of their kids they would do as I say or they get a spanking. If bro and sis don't like that they can find someone else to take care of their rug rats. That is what is wrong today, people don't teach their kids to obey and act as ladies/gentlemen in public. My kids and grandkids say please and thank you and don't slam their silverware or yell in a restaurant and are required to hold onto the basket at the store. the first thing you teach a kid is the meaning of the word NO. By the time they're 18 months old there is no longer a problem.

Reply

Option 3 would be Motel 6 . It would have been helpful to know the ages and how many kids we are talking about . There also seemed to be a big assumption that Annoyed has kids too . If not , this could be why she is so stressed . Her home may not be child "friendly" . I , too , have relatives that are raising heathens. One pampered princeling has done jail time , fathered at least one child and still can do no wrong . Gos save us all .

Reply

My father said, children are seen, but not heard.
It is a good rule. We were not invited to the dinner table until we behaved, to be old enough, therefore we eat seperately.
An upset table for this reason, such as a spill, did not happen. These were the rules! Though my father was loved, and no doubt more so respected. ETvF

Reply

I always loved it when my siblings brought their children with them for a visit, even though their parenting style was much more lenient than mine. It never seemed to be a problem though, because we were never short on hugs and kisses, and I was upfront with the kids when I had a problem with what they were doing. My advice would be not to make a big deal out bad behavior, let them know in a matter-of-fact way to knock it off, and learn to let go of the small stuff. As long as they know that you love them (if you don't, don't invite them because you're asking for trouble and hard feelings), they should be fine and will learn to listen to you. There really is something to be said for the "it takes a village" mentality.

Reply

#1 State the rule once
You might act like little devils tearin up stuff jumpin on furniture and eating like little pigs but that's not what your going to do at my house
#2 Discipline
Don't argue NO walk into your room and come out with the belt, Cause your not playin
#3 Discipling in front of Mom
Since you can;t discipline them I will
#4 Mom Discipline
If she has something to say about it tell her she's next
#5 The Change
I'm pretty sure after getting your behind warm for ten day I think Would have respect for my aunt, her house ,And Mr. leather belt
#6 Conclusion
So, in conclusion my out look on this is they need they butt woop and so does mom for letting here kids be the devil.

Reply

I'm so sick of the "she's a single mom" excuse....I've been a single mom for over 9 years, and was practically a single mom before the divorce, and my children would never have dreamed of acting like that! The problem is not the kids, it's their mom (your sister), and you and your sister need to have a heart to heart. My sister's kids have terrible manners as well......they are disrespectful to their mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, father...pretty much everyone. But when they come to my house, they know they'd better behave. They've been to my home several times, and I have NEVER had behavior problems with them because they know what the rules are and they know what the consequences are for breaking them.

If your sister refuses to work with her kids to get them under control, then the only option you have is to not have them at your house. But it's YOUR home......you get to decide what the rules will be while they're there, then it's up to them if they want to come or not.

Reply

The author of this article is nuts. Children are out of control because: 1) Parents ignore them when they misbehave...and 2) They sit down and TALK to them. BALONEY!!
What kids need is some good old fashioned discipline and to learn respect. Children these days are coddled beyond foolishness. A good old wooden spoon slapped on the behind is punishment.
"Time out" is useless.

Reply