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'Real Housewife' Danielle Staub on Being an Escort, Exotic Dancer and Mom
Filed under: Celeb Parents, In The News, Books for Kids, Celeb News & Interviews
Danielle Staub with her daughters Jillian Staub, left, and Rachelle Hruska. Credit: Jeff Gentner, Getty Images
You know Danielle ... she's the New Jersey housewife everyone loves to hate -- especially the other housewives.
Who can forget the infamous table flipping dinner? Lots of rumors swirled around her: She had changed her name, been involved in cocaine distribution and been an informant.
Now, she's penned a book called "The Naked Truth," in which she comes clean about her background. Yes, she was a call girl, exotic dancer and was arrested, but pleaded the charges down. (According to Staub, the charges were trumped up and a big misunderstanding.) She also writes of being adopted and abused as a young child.
Meanwhile, this season on "The Real Housewives of New Jersey," Staub has continued feuding with the other gals while overseeing her daughter Christine's nascent modeling career. She spoke to ParentDish about her book and the other Jersey women -- although not always in complete sentences. An edited version of the conversation follows.
PD: You worked as an exotic dancer. Did it make you hate men?
DS: I don't like that word, but I can say it did make me want to abuse them emotionally. When I was doing that, I'd already been very abused by that point. I was extremely tortured about what love was supposed to be. I'd already gone through several engagements where I just did it to get back at people who abused me. I'm not saying I did the right thing. I'm just saying that in my mind I was very twisted about what men's roles would be other than to help me have a baby.
PD: You were a call girl. You write that it's not the same as a prostitute.
DS: I think anyone who has done what I've done will realize what it is that I speak of. You are paid according to your looks. You get to define yourself according to your looks. I don't like to talk about this as a person because I think everyone is beautiful, but in this business, if I have to answer questions about that, about being a call girl as opposed to a prostitute or street walker ...
None of them are horrible things, everyone who has done them were in a position where they don't have other choices. I'm not making excuses for myself. I'm making a selective reason behind why people do make certain choices in their life.
The only difference is how you look and that's it. You don't get paid a lot of money if you're not smoking hot or if you're not really cute or not sexy or voluptuous. There's a different look for every man's desire and, let's face it, they come in many different shapes and sizes. But if you're not at least one of those desirable things for men that have a lot of money, you're not going to get paid a lot of money and be called to service a man just by being on his arm and being arm candy.
It doesn't make me any better than anybody else. The difference is I didn't have to walk up and down the street saying, "What can you pay me?" It's obvious what you're going to get paid for. I got to decide by the end of the night if I wanted to walk away.
Did they want it? Yes, but you have to be smart enough to work it that you don't have to do what it is that they want you to do, yet they feel so fulfilled and you leave them wanting more. That was always my thing, leave them wanting more, give them everything right out of the gate and they don't want anymore.
PD: You were adopted.
DS: The issues that I believe I dealt with through adoption I believe are universal. Everyone I've ever spoken to who's been adopted has abandonment issues. ... [E]specially when you grow up and become a mother, it's really difficult to understand how anyone could give up a child.
But when you're growing up, of course, you don't know once you are grown up that there are choices that are made, circumstances that surround other people in your life, like my mom was said to be 14 when she got pregnant and 15 when she gave birth. I didn't understand that as a 9, 11 or even 23-year-old. I didn't understand that until I was a mom, myself, that it really wasn't her choice. I had to start believing that she wanted me desperately.
PD: Your daughter Christine is a model. There are a lot of pitfalls in that business.
DS: I'm not worried because she's got a good head on her shoulders because I've given her that foundation of security and love. Right now, before she turns 18 and maybe has a mind of her own about it, I can definitely guide her in the right direction.
PD: Did it get you down last year being the outsider on the show?
DS: In season one it definitely did affect me, not just emotionally but physically. I got ill from the way I was treated because it reminded me too much of being abused as a child.
Being attacked verbally and getting things thrown at you and people using language disrespectfully in front of my children without giving me the option of saying, "Is it OK if I swear at you and call you names that your kids have never heard and toss a table at you? Would that be OK if I did that?" It wasn't OK, so yes, it nearly destroyed me.
It broke my spirit so deeply that I was crushed. I literally did not get out of bed for -- I don't even want to quote how long. It was troubling to my children. It left me a broken woman, and I had to decide if it was going to take me down for no reason or if I was going to go, you know what, I have to get up now. I've got to make reason of this and I've got to fight for a season two and I've got to make sense why all this had to happen to me on international TV. And I did and that's when the book deal started happening and that's when I pulled myself up and to teach my kids to never let this happen to them.
Remember I don't have family around me. I still make mistakes, but I'm a human being, and now, in season two, I don't f---ing like them either and I don't really care.
PD: Are you hopeful about love?
DS: I'm very hopeful and optimistic about love. I know through this journey of writing my book how hard it was going to be, but I also knew there was going to be a lot of light at the end of the tunnel. The light for me is I really fell in love with myself in a very spiritual way, and I think through loving myself I realize how that feels, how it's supposed to feel. Now I can be loved the right way.
PD: Want to comment on reports of a sex tape of yours that has surfaced?
DS: At this time, no.
Related: Bethenny Frankel Has a Baby Girl; Jill Zarin Apologizes for Premature Announcement
PD: Did it get you down last year being the outsider on the show?
DS: In season one it definitely did affect me, not just emotionally but physically. I got ill from the way I was treated because it reminded me too much of being abused as a child.
Being attacked verbally and getting things thrown at you and people using language disrespectfully in front of my children without giving me the option of saying, "Is it OK if I swear at you and call you names that your kids have never heard and toss a table at you? Would that be OK if I did that?" It wasn't OK, so yes, it nearly destroyed me.
It broke my spirit so deeply that I was crushed. I literally did not get out of bed for -- I don't even want to quote how long. It was troubling to my children. It left me a broken woman, and I had to decide if it was going to take me down for no reason or if I was going to go, you know what, I have to get up now. I've got to make reason of this and I've got to fight for a season two and I've got to make sense why all this had to happen to me on international TV. And I did and that's when the book deal started happening and that's when I pulled myself up and to teach my kids to never let this happen to them.
Remember I don't have family around me. I still make mistakes, but I'm a human being, and now, in season two, I don't f---ing like them either and I don't really care.
PD: Are you hopeful about love?
DS: I'm very hopeful and optimistic about love. I know through this journey of writing my book how hard it was going to be, but I also knew there was going to be a lot of light at the end of the tunnel. The light for me is I really fell in love with myself in a very spiritual way, and I think through loving myself I realize how that feels, how it's supposed to feel. Now I can be loved the right way.
PD: Want to comment on reports of a sex tape of yours that has surfaced?
DS: At this time, no.
Related: Bethenny Frankel Has a Baby Girl; Jill Zarin Apologizes for Premature Announcement
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ReaderComments (Page 2 of 4)
6-12-2010 @ 9:04PM
Sheri said...Lastly......Danielle comments in this interview that the diff between call girls and prostitutes is "good looks". She seems to suggest she is good looking! OMG! She looks like a female impersonater! Of ALL the housewives in every state, she is the ugliest! I am sorry but it's true! She has had way too much plastic surgery (as many others) but hers is most blatant. She looks like a horse coming down the back stretch with a high wind at the Kentucky Derby. Just sayin'!
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6-17-2010 @ 11:38AM
Tina Drizz said...No kidding! Pictures of her younger arent any better either. She has said on the show "nobody likes the pretty girl" how in the heck would she know?
7-22-2010 @ 1:32AM
Sam said...Sheri, please....I am a NJ resident but was born and educated in Kentucky....don't offend our horses....thanks!
6-12-2010 @ 9:04PM
missue said...Oh Please!! Danielle a 'victim'? She's got a story for everything. At some point you have to stop blamimg everyone else for your troubles. She's created this fantasy world in her head & wants everyone to feel sory for her....Good luck with that! Why does she want to hang around people who don't like her? And why are they 'supposed' to? This whole crap with her ex-con-wannabe- gangster-bodyguard, who she 'thinks' she needs because everyone is out to get her....except it's all in her head....and that's about all there is in there! Pull the plug! She's not interesting to watch, she's nuts, lies like a rug & is just a royal pain in the ass...and did I mention 'nuts'???
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6-12-2010 @ 9:10PM
carol said...I sure that all of u have had lots of problems in your lifes. We all need to quit bashing each other. Danielle isn't the greatest person in the world, but who is. Step forward if u r.
Thank you,
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6-13-2010 @ 4:35AM
Maia said...Yes I agree everyone has problems. I have had my fair share-- I had an alcoholic father, I was a cocaine addict, spent 3 years in an abusive relationship, and gave my own daughter up for adoption. The difference is, I know how to move past my PAST and focus on the present/future. I have been clean for almost 5 years, am engaged to a WONDERFUL man who treats me like a queen, I am currently in college trying to do better with my life, and have worked through my issues with my father. I do NOT spend my time lashing out at people, feeling sorry for myself, and whining constantly about my past. Nor do I treat my fiance like garbage because some moron hit me. So NO I don't have any sympathy whatsoever for this woman. She needs to get the heck over it and, if she can't, get some counseling. Really, would she rather have grown up living on welfare with her 15-year old mother?? Seriously? Its the past. You can't change it. All you can do is try and move forward.
6-12-2010 @ 9:11PM
Rosemary said...TELL HER TO SHUT UP PUHLEEEEEEEEZE!!
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6-12-2010 @ 9:17PM
Janet Cangialosi said...Ok "Danielle" (isn't her REAL name) if it were me and I was "horribly" abused I'd have spent the money you've spent on Botox and got therapy, as an outsider looking in, you are nuts lady, paranoid to the max, you are so desperate to be in the center of attention that even a benefit for a sick child became the Danielle Show, you want to be respected by these ladies, give me a break, you bring a hood like Danny who by the way was nothing more then a go for for so called Mob, you can't even get a near Capo gimme a break, You think you deserve respect, every single thing Theresa said prior to flipping the table was true, yet somehow you portrayed yourself the "victim" only victims I see here are you two girls, yer so desperate for friends you bring you small child in and ask her if you should call so & so, Danielle watch the show SOBER alone and be brutally honest with yourself, you will see how sick you really are and what a media whore you are. Get over it, move on, and for god sakes GROW UP
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6-12-2010 @ 9:16PM
missue said...Jennifer, I just said the same thing! I agree!
Reply
6-12-2010 @ 11:49PM
JeanCS said...Agree Danielle needs to find an available couch in her local psychiatrist office. She is disgusting looking and acting. I wish Bravo would not renew her for next year. And she is not even a "housewife", just bimbo whore, single mother playing the perpetual victim. She is totally self serving. Can Bravo not find someone with more to offer the viewing public. We are sick of Danielle. Please find a replacement. And if Dina leaves, two replacements would be in order.
6-12-2010 @ 9:18PM
Sheri said...Carol~I am NOT the greatest person in the world. AND I DON'T TRY TO ACT LIKE I AM! Danielle getting an "entourage" thinking the Manzos would do something to her at the Brownstone? Come on! That's illusions of grandeur! She would not be worth the trouble having anything happen to their family-run business for many years! Whether it was hype for TV or not, it showed how psycho she is. It was not necessary for her to have even a "bodyguard"......aka Danny. If he/she is so "tough", why even ask guys with Hell's Angels jackets come there???
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6-12-2010 @ 9:18PM
missue said...You said it Sheri! She must have a trick mirror at home.....what does she see??? I wouldn't want her to 'escort' my dog to the park!!!
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6-12-2010 @ 9:37PM
Brandon said...So she is bedridden cause some other ho's called names YET this old hag makes porn? Name of video will be called "Tits on the Ground, Tits on the Ground !"
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6-13-2010 @ 4:52PM
Judith said...She is such a pertual victim. Paranoia seems to be her lifestyle. everyone is doing her wrong. Danielle needs intensive psychotherapy. She probably needs psche drugs. Her children thank goodness have a better hold on reality than she does. When they have to "guide" her as to what actions to take, it tells alot. I say bless her children, hopefully they will see that she is sick and they will continue to learn from her illness. I can see they are already years beyond their ages.
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6-12-2010 @ 10:39PM
VAL said...This lady (I say this loosely) is a freakin WACKJOB! She is so self absorbed! She can never fit into the lifestyle the other women have and practically does anything to get there attention include making up stories and hiring wannabe mobsters...GET A REAL LIFE! you are a poor excuse of a mother! Her ex-husband should step in and take these kids away from her...
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6-12-2010 @ 9:48PM
debi said...Danielle's mentally dsturbed..stalker..wonder if her friend Danny or what ever his name is or the NY Hells Angel know she was an informant..??? Besides all the rest of her past...woohoo toots ..you did wrong & INFORMED on others to get outta your trouble...shame...you think you have troubles with the Manzo's..NOT..but you might if you x-con-biker friends find out what you really are...yikes..another name change soon???
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6-12-2010 @ 10:27PM
Joey said...Danielle has an ugly face. Bet she's got an ugly chuckie.
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6-12-2010 @ 10:51PM
donna said...I don't really know what Danielle excpected of these ladies. It seems like a lot. But I'm sorry but I really don't understand that and her saying it nearly destroyed her. Why excpect so much of people? People are people even if you have been abused. Anyhow she has two beautiful daughters so she is blessed. I have a question....who is this woman on the show that Danielle hangs out with? I think her name is Kim G? Somehow I missed that. I know she says her son is friends with Caroline's son. Is she the woman that owns the store that said she didn't know Danielle or is that another person? Somehow I'm confused about this.
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6-13-2010 @ 4:27AM
Blessings said...You have it correct, Donna. Kim G is the mother of Caroline's son Christopher's friend. The woman that runs the boutique is another person, that said she was friends with Danielle to her face, said they were sicilian, and that danielle took her mom pasta when she was sick. But then at the sheriffs party denied it to the other housewives, saying she doesn't hardly know her. So you are right, they are two different people.
6-12-2010 @ 11:04PM
Masked Marvel said...UNCLE DICK WANTS TO HELP DANIELLE. JUST GIVE HIM A CALL, HONEY, AND HE WILL BE BESIDE YOU IN A NEW YORK MINUTE. HE WANTS YOU TO SPEND A WEEKEND AT ONE OF HIS SECRET, UNDISCLOSED LOCATIONS. THERE WILL BE FEASTING, ROMANCING AND THE PLEASURE OF BEING WITH THE AUTHENTIC HE-MAN UNCLE DICK.
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