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Opinion: Careful, Son, Your Helping Hand Could End Up in Cuffs
Filed under: Weird But True, Opinions
I winced when I heard that a 14-year-old Florida boy was arrested for kidnapping after he attempted to help a lost 3-year-old girl find her mom.
He easily could be one of us.
By "us," I mean one of the males in my family. We're not exactly native to your world. We all came here from Planet Dork.
My son is no exception. He is the kindest, sweetest, most gentle child you could ever meet. However, like all males of his peculiar genome, he sometimes shows limited understanding of human ways and customs: The bus driver only wants your fare; he doesn't want your life story when he politely asks, "How are you?" The waitress who gives you extra whipped cream on your pie prefers a generous tip over an enthusiastic hug.
So I felt a certain kinship with Edwin McFarlane, the would-be good Samaritan. I tend to believe his story. There but for the grace of God goes my own lovable but clueless spawn.
ABC News reports that Edwin says he saw a little girl at Burlington Coat Factory who had apparently been separated from her mother. Thinking the mother was among a group of women who'd just left the store, the teen led the girl outside to try and reunite them.
The mother was actually in the store. She saw the girl with Edwin, retrieved her and resumed shopping. Edwin resumed shopping with his own mother.
Nonetheless, a clerk who saw Edwin leave with the little girl called 911. The soft-spoken teenager was handcuffed and arrested on suspicion of what's called false imprisonment, a form of kidnapping.
Most of the evidence -- including the store's surveillance camera -- backs up Edwin's story. His mom says the girl's mother even thanked Edwin for his concern and effort.
Now, clearly, there are better ways to help a child who appears to be separated from her or his parents.
The best thing to do is alert a store manager, or security guard, or a police officer. If the child needs immediate help, take him or her to that responsible grownup. The proper personnel can handle the matter.
Don't take the child and go looking for her parents yourself.
Rest assured, given the incident in Florida, I will tell this tale to my son. I can easily envision him getting caught up in a similar situation armed only with his good intentions.
I never warned him of an instance such as this before because, frankly, I never thought of it. It's hard to envision every possible knot and tangle a sweet but naive kid might land in.
Some smell the faint whiff of racism in the Florida case. Edwin is dark-skinned. The insinuation is that Edwin came under such immediate and severe suspicion because of his skin color. It's possible -- it has been known to happen in the past.
More likely, though, the arrest was due to society's increased concern -- almost paranoia -- over the safety of children. In my own neck of the woods, the recent disappearance of 7-year-old Kyron Horman after being dropped off at school in Portland, is causing a media frenzy and has re-ignited parents' fears for their kids.
The fear is not so much about race as it is anything that threatens our children. My own mother, after all, lives in fear of my own teenage son having a bus pass, because he's apparently just too beautiful for any random pedophile to resist.
We can easily go overboard in our emotional reactions and zeal for safety, and it's sad that a young man has found his kindness repaid with suspicion and public humiliation as a result.
We teach our kids a lot about stranger danger. It might be good to remind them, from time to time, that human beings are not all bad. In reality, most are really good, and are happy to help a little girl find her mommy.
Telling the good from the bad requires thinking rather than reacting.
Related: Driver Finds Toddler in Busy Intersection
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 26)
6-17-2010 @ 2:06PM
Jennylee said...Why did he go outside? Why not go to store manager inside? It doesn't make sense? If he lures her outside, that means he would have done something to her, perhaps in back of store? that is odd to go outside instead of inside for help?
Reply
6-17-2010 @ 2:09PM
queenchese said...Did you read the story? It said he went OUTSIDE because he thought she belonged to a woman who just left the store. He realized his mistake, and came back in and found her mother.
6-30-2010 @ 9:44AM
JessicaL said...Not everyone in this world is a pervert. The fact that he brought the child back to her mother shows evidence of that, not to mention the fact that video shows the boy trying to help her. Maybe you don't have children because you would know that although misguided they don't always think. I hope the charges will be dropped.
6-17-2010 @ 2:27PM
dale said...If parents would closer attention to their children while in stores, this would not have happened. As an adult I see children left alone in stores all the time. If you have to take your child to the store with you, then keep a closer watch on them. Too many times, I've found lost or unattended children everywhere I go. The CHILD did what he thought was right. The police did over react. PLEASE PLEASE KEEP A CLOSER EYE ON YOUR CHILDREN OR DON'T TAKE THEM OUT IN PUBLIC. It is the public that has to watch over them when you are not paying attention.
Where I currently reside, I'm watching over the neighbors children all the time. It is the village that is helping to watch our children. So parents, be thankful that someone else is helping you keep an eye out for your children.
6-17-2010 @ 2:30PM
starrr said...jennylee you r either a 10 year old kid or just plain stupid......
6-17-2010 @ 2:45PM
Kel said...He may have thought the parents were outside (like right outside the door) but he went out stayed by the door then was heading back to the door when the mom came. Honestly I may have done the same thing (not sure) its just instinct to get the child to her mother. I wouldn't do that now after seeing this.
6-17-2010 @ 2:40PM
Lindy said...You didnt read the whole story.......you actually missed the part about WHY he walked outside. Read it again.
6-17-2010 @ 2:42PM
JLS said...14-year old kids don't think like adults. What the boy did may not appear "correct" to you if you are over 18. In fact, he is to be lauded for his concern. I hope this misunderstanding does not (a) render the boy cold an indifferent or (b) lead to more witch-hunts of the righteous.
6-17-2010 @ 2:51PM
Lori said...This whole thing just makes me sad and want to cry for this young man. He was trying to be compassionate like the rest of the world SHOULD be. If he lived in my town, I would find him and give him a big hug for trying to do what he thought was right. The authorities need to get a life and press charges on the idiots out there who are commiting the real crimes. I am sorry Edwin, you have to deal with this stupidity at such a young age.
6-17-2010 @ 2:45PM
COE said...Wow does it hurt when you sit down? It must be very uncomfortable with your head so far up our a--!! Please show me were the word "lured" appears in this article? It's a good thing for you that stupidity is not a crime, lord knows you'd get a life sentence.
6-17-2010 @ 2:54PM
Elisabeth said...Reactions like yours are what caused the teen to be arrested in the first place. Yes, there are some sick and twisted people in this world - but every now and then you find a good person, this time a kid, that was raised well by his mother and taught to do the right thing. Now he is being punished for trying to help.
6-17-2010 @ 3:02PM
Kathy said...Why isn't the mother being charged with child endangerment? There are a lot of things that could have happened to this unattended child.
6-17-2010 @ 3:11PM
The Experience Tv said...You must not have been listening, their were ladies leaving the store who he thought were leaving her behind, therefore he was follwing them. He is a nieve kid for God sake! He went off the first way to help his mind clicked on, maybe one of the ladies were her mother! Let's go stop them. Out the door they go! I would have done the same thing if I saw a little girl at the cash register and two ladies just left going out the door. My thought would have been one of them could be the mother! Let's catch up with them and see. The store cashier could have said something being that she was at the cash register instead of letting him walk away. Obviously he/she didn't know or didn't care to do anything! Whoever the arresting officer is needs to be imprisoned himself for scaring this kid. It was only because he was big, Black and had a fro!
6-17-2010 @ 3:33PM
Annie said...If you read the story, it says that when he was going outside, the little girl came after him and he saw a group of women outside that had just left the store and he thought the little girl belonged to one of them.
6-17-2010 @ 3:16PM
harry said...Good Lord Jennylee, you're as bad as the clerk, jumping to conclusions...it's a KID! He isn't as smart as YOU are! He did what he thought was right the time! Give the kid some credit for trying to help for God's sakes, instead of trying to nail him to another cross. I have to wonder what all you goody 2 shoes type would have done .....I'd like to know so I can criticize YOU!
6-17-2010 @ 3:20PM
Rachel said...If you're not going to read the article in its entirety or be able to comprend it, don't post a comment. Your question was already answered in the artilcle itself. You've only made YOURSELF look bad, not the good samaritan, as was your intent.
6-21-2010 @ 1:10PM
kpat said...JenyLee - It sounds as if you are a very dumb person. You cannot read, or are too busy being stupid to take the time to understand what you read as you ask questions that were answered in the article; you assume the young man is wrong and he is perverted in some way; and you are obviously clueless when it comes to life. My suggestion is learn to read before you post - as stupidity is ugly; and boy are you ugly.
6-17-2010 @ 3:23PM
Simzee said...In this day & age.....I'd NEVER help anyone...period. This story is excatly why I'd NEVER help anyone. If you don't like my comment....too bad.....deal with it.
6-17-2010 @ 3:30PM
Kathy said...I cannot believe that you could say something like this. If you watch the tape it shows the child walking beside him going outside, not even holding his hand at one point. She wasn't forced in any way. He was trying to help.
If you can say that this child was being forced then what are you saying about a 16 year old girl going out into the ocean alone boating.
A parent can't even spank a child today and get into trouble but a 16 year old girl can go boating around the world. What is wrong with this picture.
6-17-2010 @ 3:42PM
Larry said...The Boy is 14 years old, I am 71 and might think the Mother left the store myself.
Just what do you expect of the Boy and Others?